Strange Connections

I'm sure everyone is completely shocked I'm writing, in a complaining fashion, about car alarms. I suppose the real surprise is why now, why has it taken me so long to rant about something that should so obviously, and does actually, drive me crazy? Until this moment, however, though annoyed by them, I had nothing more to say on the subject of car alarms. They existed and were annoying and there really wasn't much more to be said. There are just certain things you don't rant about in order to preserve basic sanity. Sort of like a survival mechanism. I am hushed over certain core issues that really bother me and allow my steam to simmer out about those irritants not so close to my heart. Also it's dangerous to rant about something without having some sort of solution, insane though it may be, the solution is a must in any rant. Up to this point my solutions for the car alarms were simply far too juvenile. Initially the idea of stealing the car with the annoying alarm came to mind. I could steal the car and drive it far far away, thus removing the cancer from the system. I would possibly drive it into the lake or wedge it between some embankment, I never really fully decided which would be better. I would later laughingly explain that until I heard the incessant, beckoning alarm of said car, I had no thoughts of car theft, but the continuing annoyance, and the knowledge that said annoyance was in fact mobile, drove me to the act (no pun). Stealing to rid my life of as opposed to stealing for gain. This was all so messy and outlandish though. No point in ranting over this; making empty threats. But now I have come to the conclusion of the matter and now fully know why I really despise car alarms. One may think I hate these for the obvious reasons (noise), but ultimately I despise them because they've actually become the antithesis of what they were originally designed for. Thus they are not only noisy but useless; easily my two biggest enemies. The purpose of a car alarm is two-fold: (1) scare away potential thief; (2) attract attention of all none-thieves in area thereby reinforcing purpose number 1. Sure, maybe this was true the first week of the existence of the car alarm (I wouldn't even put money on that amount of time though). How long did the developer of the car alarm really think it would take before this new noise dissolved into the backdrop of the collective noise in any given urban area (ironically the area a car has the most potential of being stolen)? Sadly, those the alarm was designed to alert (any good Samaritan) are few and far between and even the noblest of persons these days comes fully equipped packing an internal insurance calculator instantly crunching the risk factors to their own person compared to how much effort it may take the owner of the vehicle in question to submit a claim and be awarded a sum allowing the insured to purchase vehicle of equal or lesser value. This effort is always more ideal than the alternative pictures that run through ones mind as they glance at what just might be a car theft in progress. A many happenings may occur in reaction to an intervention which one's own insurance may not even cover. On the other hand, those not so "good" fair citizens (me?) are often found hanging out of windows during a poorly timed example of a vehicles squeals to be left alone. If said individuals glance at what just might be a car theft in progress, they may even begin to root the thief on in hopes that the thief will redeem the neighborhood to its once peaceful state, "steal it already, get it out of here" one might hear yelled from the rooftops. More seriously, however, I doubt a real car theft in progress would even show up on mosts noise radars, and this is the rub, what drove me to write this complaint against all car alarms everywhere. Thinking in reality about this situation, I would assume that a true, successful, free car thief knows his or her way around a car alarm. Now before continuing, I need to clarify something. Many cars these days come equipped with alarm systems. These standard alarms, however, are seldom that annoying car of the neighborhood. When these alarms go off it's usually nothing more than a sting of a few beeps and then it's done. Also, these alarms seem to be less sensitive (i.e. they're usually the last to be set off by thunder). These alarms are actually effective in that they make a little noise, yes, but not to scare some thief off, rather, they honk when set off to say the car is now inoperable. Many of these alarms make the car unable to start making it hard to steal. Therefore, these alarms simply warn a thief that any effort, unless of course they really know what they're doing, is going to be a waste. Going back to the original rub, a car thief knows his or her way around the add-on, self-installed, "I stole the noise maker out of my kid's toy gun and wired it to an amp, my brilliant move of the century, because man that thing scares the hell out of me so it must have the same effect on a thief. The true car thief is going to disarm that alarm before it even begins annoying the neighbors. And if the thief doesn't disarm the alarm before it's noticed, it's not like the actual owner (you know, the guy who has the power to stop the alarm) is going to be around to hear it or care much about the fact that it's going off. Car alarms have become the quintessential Little Boy that Cried Wolf. The time a car is actually stolen, the alarm will either not go off at all or go off for a few seconds and then be silenced. In which case anyone who heard the alarm for the few seconds it was on not thinking a car must of been stolen, but rather how wonderful it is that that damn alarm turned off so quickly, what a good day this is turning out to be, yay me!