Greg Griffith

Top 10 Lost Brad Drell Headlines

Wednesday, June 27, 2007 • 8:41 pm

I recently found these in a corner of the Internet and thought I'd share:

10. "The Goatee Is Coming In Real Nice"

9. "Seriously - This Is The Last Time I'm Going To Post to the HoBD"

8. "I Can't Remember If It Was Two Pills Five Times A Day, or Five Pills Two Times A Day"

7. "Check It Out - I Finally Learned to Type Using Only My Pinkies"

6. "Sorry For The Lack of Posts - I Was Out At Macaroni Grill Pretty Late Last Night"

5. "What Was That Noise? Dude, Shut Up. There It Goes Again."

4. "Why Was I Not Informed About The Drive-Thru Beer Barn?"

3. "China House Says 'All You Can Eat'... But They Lie"

2. "Hey, Does This Look Infected to You?"

...and the number one lost Drell headline:

1. "I'm Replacing The Math Question With 'Spot The Diphthong'"

Sorry, Brad - it was a slow news day...

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UPDATE: One for Drell:



As I was a goin' over the far famed Kerry mountains
I met with captain Farrell and his money he was counting
I first produced my pistol and I then produced my rapier
Saying "Stand and deliver" for he were a bold deceiver

Mush-a ring dum-a do dum-a da
Wack fall the daddy-o, wack fall the daddy-o
There's whiskey in the jar

I counted out his money and it made a pretty penny
I put it in me pocket and I took it home to Jenny
She sighed and she swore that she never would deceive me
But the devil take the women for they never can be easy

I went up to my chamber, all for to take a slumber
I dreamt of gold and jewels and for sure 't was no wonder
But Jenny blew me charges and she filled them up with water
Then sent for captain Farrell to be ready for the slaughter

And 't was early in the morning, just before I rose to travel
Up comes a band of footmen and likewise captain Farrell
I first produced me pistol for she stole away me rapier
I couldn't shoot the water, so a prisoner I was taken

There's some take delight in the carriages a rolling
and others take delight in the hurling and the bowling
but I take delight in the juice of the barley
and courting pretty fair maids in the morning bright and early

And if anyone can aid me 't is my brother in the army
If I can find his station in Cork or in Killarney
And if he'll go with me, we'll go rovin' through Killkenney
And I'm sure he'll treat me better than my own a-sporting Jenny

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