I’m Sick of Sarah

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I have a love hate relationship with the name Sarah. One of my favorite artists is Sarah McLachlan. My ex-wife’s name is Sarah. And then our new (potential) vice president is Sarah Palin.

When I came across a band named Sick of Sarah, it had my immediate attention.

The band (a girl band) is a nice mix of hard rock, emo, and punk. Here are some YouTube videos of two of my favorites from their recent album (also called Sick of Sarah).

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Breakdown - A nice hard-rock ballad with some punk flavoring (this video is a cover)


Common Mistake - A nice acoustic intro, with a very catchy chorus (this version differs from the more polished album version)

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Some Weird Pictures - Errors and a Clever Advertisement

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I’ve been meaning to post these for a while, but I digress. Here are some pictures I took with my iPhone that humored me for at least 0.3 nanoseconds.


Huntsville Airport Error Message


Syracuse Airport Bathroom Message


The Boarder Problem - Taken at Bisons, Madison, AL


Got Soap - Taken at La Placita, Madison, AL

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Trip to Gananoque, Canada

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On my recent trip to Syracuse, New York, I decided I wanted to step on foreign soil for the first time in 17 years.

My trip took me up to Watertown, NY, which was about forty miles from Canada.

As I took Interstate 81 north into Canada, I noticed less and less New York plates and more Ontario plates.

As I paid my toll for the 1000 Islands International Bridge, I grew anxious. The border was very close.

I was only two cars deep when I approached the border agent. The car in front of me breezed right through. I thought to myself, “This is going to be easy.”

The border agent greeted me, “Hello. Bonjour.”

I pulled out my blue passport, and his mannerisms completely changed.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I plan on going to.. Ganon.. Ganoun.. I’m not sure how to pronounce the city’s name.”

Gananoque?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s it.”

He then proceeded to ask me about arrests, alcohol, or if I had anything in my trunk. Since I was driving a rental, the car was fairly empty.

“Have fun!” he said as he waved me into the country.

The first few signs were of the speed limit (conveniently converted from miles into kilometers). I then followed my iPhone directions to Gananoque.

While there, I ate at a restaurant and checked out a local park. See the end of this post for some pics.

Here are some observations I made about my brief stint into Ontario, Canada:

A lot of people around me spoke French. There were a lot of Canada flags everywhere. The town of Gananoque had a drugstore that would have put Walgreens to shame. A lot of young people walk around unaccompanied. Their stores have absolutely no liquor. Canadians drive very fast! I wasn’t about to speed on their highways.

Okay, here are some pics (see the rest at my Flickr account):

Canadian Flag from a Restaurant
Canadian Flag From a Restaurant - Gananoque

Confederation Park
Confederation Park - Gananoque

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Chantix Diaries 3

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Chantix gives you some weird dreams. Here’s some of the dreams I’ve had recently.

Preparing for… What?

I was in a town square. We were all eating lunch, shopping, and just going about our business. Music was playing, people were talking on their cell phones, and conversing with each other.

In the distance, I could hear this massive roar. Everybody stopped what they were doing. It was absolute and complete silence, with the exception of the roar.

In the sky appeared hundreds of slow-moving CH-47 (Chinook) helicopters carrying what looked like a HMMWV (Hummers). In the back of the helicopter, the ramp was open, and you could see all of the soldiers inside.

The first wave passed, and people started talking about what just happened.

“They’re going to bomb something.” I heard one say.

“Probably Iran.” Another replied.

People soon forgot about the huge show of force, and continued with what they were doing before.

Then a second wave of Black Hawks followed, where we could see Soldiers and a machine gun pointing out. There were hundreds of Black Hawks as well, slowly passing by.

Again, the crowd was completely silent, just marveling at the overwhelming show of force.

“What’s going on?” I could hear one ask.

The second wave disappeared from sight, and I woke up.

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iPhone to the Rescue - Forever Sharp Knives

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I was in Sam’s club when I stumbled across a guy doing a demo of Forever Sharp Knives.

He was demonstrating how one of the knives could cut easily through fresh bread, a ripe tomato, and even a hammer.

He asked the audience how much we could expect the knives to cost. Some lady chimed in, “38 dollars.”

“Yup.” he replied anxiously.

He continued, “But since you are special Sam’s Club customers, you get a second knife absolutely free!”

At this point, he started naming all of the extras that people would get. Then he dropped a bombshell.

“But wait, since you’ve all listened so patiently to me, I’ve got a special incentive to give you from the manufacturer. A third knife!”

At this point, I whipped out my iPhone and Googled “forever sharp knives”. I saw that this was not indeed a “special incentive” for just “Sam’s Club” customers. This was the same deal that could be purchased online without listening to some jackass speak.

I immediately walked away, shaking my head and smirking.

On another note, I picked up a shredder today and used my iPhone to check out the reviews on Amazon. It turned out Amazon.com was slightly cheaper, but I picked up the shredder anyways. Go iPhone!

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Chantix Diaries 2

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Chantix gives you some weird dreams. Here’s some of the dreams I’ve had recently.

The Twisted Tornado

I was on the porch. My sister was loading her baby in a giant red ford pick-up.

We were in a valley, and I saw two twisters approach near eachother. One was rather large.

I told my sister, “if you’re going to leave, then get on with it.”

The larger twister went past us without any incident.

The smaller one was really dinky looking, and some black guy ran out of our house with a broom and approached it. He began chasing the twister away from my sister (with the broom) and around the back of the house.

I went to the porch in the back, and watched the twister slowly stop spinning. It turned out it was a giant plastic cup as it slowed.

The Late Show

This one was truly lucid. I was dreaming and thought, let’s do one with Conan O’Brien.

Conan O’Brien is in a boat, and I’m in it. He says, “Let’s see if we can do two impromptu performances while on this boat.”

He starts going off on a tangent, which I can’t really recall. I then ask, “Okay, how about the second?”

He said, sorry, that’s all you get. So I jumped off the boat and made the quick swim to the shore. I could hear them laughing at me on the boat.

I climbed out of the river soaking wet, and I still had on my heavy black shoes.

Traveling the Clothes-line

I’m in some kind of high-rise apartment. The other apartment buildings were very close, and all the colors were of a pastel hue of peach and pink. A lady was standing next to me as people walked by the light-red cobblestone sidewalk below.

“How about that one?” she would ask, pointing at a young girl.

“She’s cute, but way too young.” I would reply.

“And that one?”

It turned out there were clothes-lines everywhere. Or at least that’s what they looked like. And hear goes a girl riding the line by by some kind of repel hook. She was just sailing along, getting from point a to point b.

I was awed by the site, and then I woke up.

The Performance

I’m in some kind of indoor performance area. It was Lord of the Rings, and you could walk to various rooms and see different aspects of the performance.

Some of the girls were getting hot, and began removing layers of clothing. However, other girls would get jealous, and try to catch up. Eventually all clothes were off.

I soon left that part of the performance for a different area. I caught up with a family, who had a van. They had used their van to hold up some kind of tent so they could eat.

The last thing I remember about the dream is that a pizza box had fallen off the top of their vehicle. I attempted to place the pizza box back on top, and was reaching when I woke up.

The Heist

I’m about to leave town.

A lady explains the road out. You have to travel through the mountains on this very high-altitude road.

She told me that one time a very rough storm was coming in. As the road took her above the clouds, she could see the storm pummeling the people below it. She pulled to the side to marvel at it, as did others.

As the road descended, she knew she would soon be in the storm. She said it was the scariest thing she ever saw in her life.

I stop listening to the lady and began to get into my car to leave town. I just have to pass through a security checkpoint.

I’m about to enter some kind of secure zone, and I have to prepare myself to get ready to enter. I come to a gate and park. Nobody is behind me, so I decide it’s a good time to gather everything I need. Eventually cars are starting to line up behind me, some growing rather impatient. I’m almost done, and the last thing I need to do is check my tires.

In my haste, I drop my wallet and cigarettes on the ground, but I decide to finish checking my tires first.

A kid (let’s call him Alex) walking buy seizes this opportunity and picks up my wallet and cigarettes from the ground and begins to walk off. He says to a lady near me (also preparing), “How are you doing?”

The lady sees the theft, and as the kid walks off, she says, “He has your things.”

I begin chase, and just as I’m about to catch him, he throws the items to his younger brother, who is much faster. Both pick up speed, and I yell out, “You can have the cigarettes. Just give me my wallet!”

Alex throws the wallet to the ground, and I run to go pick it up.

I open the wallet, and the wallet’s contents are all fake (kind of like the movie Catch Me If You Can).

I resume chasing Alex and his brother, and I finally catch up with the younger brother. I grab his shoulder, and he hands me a paper bag with something wrapped up in it.

It looks like a Cheeseburger, and he says to me, “Eat this.”

We walk into an establishment, and he puts on a black mask. I can see Alex also wearing a black mask, ready to initiate havok on the employees.

As this moment, I realize I’m part of a larger conspiracy. I was baited into following these kids, and now I was on camera eating a burger as if I was part of their crew.

Then I woke up.

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Finally Got an iPhone

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I woke up around 4:30am to drop a friend off at her car.

I was tired. I was cranky. But I wanted an iPhone.

I headed over to our Apple Store in Huntsville, and began waiting in line.

I was about number thirty, so getting an iPhone was almost assured. It was just a matter of waiting.

And waiting. And even more waiting.

As the store opened at 8am, the employees ran through the crowd, handing out water and high-fives. They were excited.

However, the line was moving at a snail’s pace. Then the line stopped moving.

The manager came out and explained, “We’re having activation issues with ATT. As soon as they are fixed, we’ll allow more people in.”

Luckily the weather was overcast, but eventually around 10am, the sun peeked out.

More water was handed out, and some of the employees started handing out snacks.

I was about number two in line at this point, with the sun directly over me. I laid down on the hot concrete and closed my eyes praying for relief.

“We can take two more.” the lady at the door said.

As I walked into the air-conditioned store, I gave the door lady a huge hug.

While in the store, there was more waiting.

“Feel free to surf the net guy.” one of the employees told me. I was so tired that I couldn’t even stare at a computer.

After about 45 minutes of waiting inside the store, it was finally my turn to get an iPhone. An employee walked me through the application process, and about thirty minutes later my iPhone was activated.

Unfortunately it wasn’t ready for calling yet since the iTunes store was down and the iPhone needed to be registered with Apple.

I finally walked out of the store about 11:45am, about 7 hours after I began waiting in line.

As soon as I made it home, I crashed. And when I woke up, the iTunes store was back up. I then proceeded to import my contacts and make some of my first ever text messages.

I don’t know if I’ll ever wait in line for a phone again, but having the iPhone is a wonderful luxury.

ron-iphone.jpg

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Chantix Diaries 1

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Chantix gives you some weird dreams. Here’s some of the dreams I’ve had recently.

The Wakeup Call

This dream consisted of me on my apartment balcony looking out to the passing cars below.

I witnessed a white car parking, with an attractive woman getting out.

She looked at me, and in a soft, but powerful tone, said, “Come here.”

I immediately woke up. The voice had been so powerful and lifelike that I had to get up and see if anybody was in my apartment.

The Aggressive Kid

I was playing some kind of ball sport. Probably kickball.

I remember sliding on the grass, reaching for this ball that was just within reach.

Out of nowhere, this kid in the stands comes and kicks the ball away from me.

I grab the kid by his white-collared shirt, pull him towards me, and get in his face.

“I just want you to know what you did was very f**ng rude. Don’t you ever do that again. Do you understand me?”

The kid’s face turned sad, but he expressed understanding.

I knew somewhere his mom was watching, so I was curious how she would feel about me scolding her son.

But the kid understood, and went back to sit down.

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The Chantix Diaries

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In my never-ending quest to quit smoking, I am once again back on Chantix.

One of the really bad (or good) things about the drug is the side-effect of lucid dreams.

I can usually remember in excruciating detail what the dream was about.

So, I thought I would have a bit of fun (or scare you off) and start detailing some of the weird dreams I have as a result of the drug.

I’ve already freaked out a few of my co-workers with details from my previous Chantix experience, so let’s see how it goes.

I’ll write my first post in a few days after the drug has had a chance to kick in.

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…Blood was just pouring out

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“Oh my God! Can you help me?”

I was inside playing a video game on my friend’s Playstation when I turned towards the voice coming through the open balcony.

I turned my head and saw a young girl (probably 16 or 17) holding her lip as blood poured down her chin like a red waterfall.

“What the hell happened?” my friend Jennifer asked, running outside.

“I don’t know!” the girl replied, barely able to talk.

I looked at my friend Jennifer, who happened to be a nurse, and asked, “What do you need?”

“Ice.” Jennifer said calmly.

I calmly walked to the freezer, grabbed a tray of ice, and walked outside.

One of the other guys in the apartment had brought out a towel, so I dropped several cubes in it and the bleeding girl held it up to her lip.

Again, Jennifer tried to ask, “What happened?”

The girl released the towel from her mouth, and the blood literally squirted out. She had somehow ruptured an artery.

“We need to get you to the hospital.” Jennifer said.

Jennifer quickly gathered her things, got the girl in her front seat, and drove the twenty or so miles to the nearest hospital emergency room.

When Jennifer got back, her car’s interior was covered in blood.

“Did they see her right away?” I asked Jennifer.

“Absolutely. Arterial bleeding is no joke.”

“Well, thanks for doing that. For taking her. Not too many people would have done the same thing.”

“Of course they would have.” Jennifer said smiling.

“No. Unfortunately, no they wouldn’t have.”

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