The Road Not Chosen: Hello, My Name is Lori and... (via Mowser)

I'm an alcoholic. Is that shocking? It shouldn't be. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse & Alcoholism states that "nearly 20 percent of alcoholics are highly functional and well-educated with good incomes." Researchers at the NIAAA also say that "thirty percent of U.S. adults have experienced alcohol abuse or alcoholism." They also sadly observe that fewer alcoholics are entering into treatment these days.

This isn't really intended to be a post about alcohol abuse but rather about choice. My story is simple really. I come by my alcoholism genetically. I started seriously drinking when I was 12 and didn't stop until I became a Christian at the age of 22, nearly killing myself in the process. I'd like to say I've been consistently sober since that time but I haven't. I have fallen off the wagon a time or two. I have been sober for nearly 18 years now. That is not to say I haven't wanted to drink. Boy, howdy, have I wanted to drink at times! When the urge comes, often at the most unlikely times, I do what anyone has to do when they are tempted, I make a choice and that choice is to not drink, even when I'm traveling alone and no one I know will see, except me and God.

Why do I make the choice to abstain? Is it because alcohol is bad for me? Is it because I know I can't "just have one"? Is it even that I am genetically programmed to crave it so I stay away? Yes, but those aren't the main reasons. The primary reason I don't take a drink is because the Bible says to be drunk is sin. Ephesians 5:17-18 says "Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." Romans 13:11-14 says also "...The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. ... So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." And as I have stated before, I cannot have just one drink of alcohol. I've tried, believe me.

So now let me tie this into another desire and topic: homosexuality. There is all sorts of talk, books, research, etc. saying things like people are born homosexuals, they don't choose to be. Other sources say it's a choice but it's o.k. to choose that lifestyle. You're not hurting anyone. Be with whoever you feel like being with. Be free to be yourself.

Well, can I be free to be my genetic self which is an alcoholic? I mean, I was born that way, it's how my brain is wired. I feel like drinking so why shouldn't I? I promise not to drive or abuse my family, and still show up on time for work. Where's the harm in that?

Let's just trash all the rationalizations for homosexuality and face the fact that the Bible says it's sin. Really, it does. Old and New Testament. If you really believe you are born that way, then do what we addicts have to do: choose not to. Choose what God says over what the desires of your flesh are. Trust him for the grace to make it through and that your desires will be conformed to His. It won't be easy, but God promises to help us if we call on him.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death...

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God." (Romans 8)

We are to examine everything we think and everything we do in the light of Scripture, because that is not only the guidebook, but the magnifying glass that God saw fit to give us so that we can live lives that please him. I know that you may not be dealing with the "big issues" but we all deal with something in our lives that isn't the way God wants it to be. So get that light out this week and examine yourself and ask God what he would like you to deal with or change. And let's be glad that we have a God who loves us and is merciful to help us in our struggles!

Comments

Lori, that was an excellent post. I think we sometimes ignore the issue of homosexuality because it's uncomfortable, but you are so right in comparing it the way you did. Even if it is something you are predisposed to, it is still sin and our flesh still should be submitted to the Word of God! That is a principle that should be applied in every single area of our lives, since really, we are all born into sin, right? Thanks for sharing this insight with us - what a great perspective!

Posted by: Ruth | July 03, 2008 at 12:06 AM

I'm not sure why I hadn't made that connection either. Well done! Choosing against my flesh is a constant decision (and battle)in lots of areas. Homosexuality is just one of those.

Posted by: Kathy Nickerson | July 03, 2008 at 11:39 AM

ummmm. Did I make that sound like I have to choose against homosexuality ever day? In case my husband reads this, I should mention that is not my particular area of temptation :)

Posted by: Kathy Nickerson | July 03, 2008 at 11:43 AM

Kathy, you are hilarious! I didn't read it that way originally but thanks for the clarification! Ruth, thanks for your compliments. :)

Posted by: Lori | July 03, 2008 at 01:23 PM

Wow, I thought I was learning something totally new about Kathy! :-) I seriously did read it that way, but I knew, even before I read the clarification, that it was a slip of the tongue.

I have made this exact same connection, Lori. I have a very dear family member who struggles with this and we've had this same conversation. We must all be ruthless wiht our flesh since unfortunately we are not born wanting to tell the truth, be selfless, or any number of other virtues for which we must be crucified with Christ to embody.

Posted by: Molly | July 05, 2008 at 09:38 AM

I'll assume you're preaching to the choir here, but in case the us in "Let's just trash all the rationalizations for homosexuality and face the fact that the Bible says it's sin." applies to the broader audience who does not take biblical mandate as sufficient reason to condemn practices and people, I report I was a little confused. You clear up that you don't primarily avoid alcoholism because it's harmful but because it's forbidden. You then move to another set of practices, homosexual acts, which you seem to allow are not harmful but are still forbidden. So, as far as I can tell, you have set up the argument that we should avoid alcoholism because it is harmful and forbidden. We should avoid homosexual acts because they are forbidden. But I am left wondering why the latter are forbidden. Clearly, alcoholism is by definition harmful to self and others. It has negative repercussions on bodily health and on relationships. That seems like a reason we might want to forbid it. But then, why would homosexuality be forbidden? We can understand that God would ban drunkenness for its harmful effects which we can all recognize to be bad. But we are left without any reason as to the latter ban. If things are bad because God said they are bad, then how does he choose? That is, if God condemns bad things because they're bad and they're bad because he said they are, then we have a bit of circular reasoning. If, on the other hand, things are called bad by God because they are recognizably bad, then why do we need the divine prohibition to discover their bad nature?

Again, you might be just aiming to encourage those who agree with you already, but I doubt that they were attempting these "rationalizations". I just thought a voice from outside the choir but not outside of your broader reading audience might be worth something.

Posted by: Dennis | July 06, 2008 at 08:07 AM

Dennis, the main point Iâ€™m making is that we all wrestle with our flesh. There are things we know at several levels arenâ€™t good, healthy, whatever, and we struggle to overcome those things. (See the above comments from others.)

Iâ€™m not going to base what I write in this blog as though scripture doesnâ€™t exist. Iâ€™m not setting up an argument about whether things are both harmful and forbidden. Iâ€™m saying what God calls ungodly is ungodly, period. He doesnâ€™t offer us the option of rationalizing it away. It is as he says it is. If someone doesnâ€™t believe in Scripture, it is up to God to deal with them, not me.

Den, youâ€™ve known me a long time. Do you really think I only write to people who agree with me already? I write to whoever happens to read this. I might point out that I have readers who have all types of beliefs and backgrounds. They read my blog because they appreciate my honesty about my beliefs, not because they necessarily agree with me.

Thanks for reading & say hi to Andrea & the kids for me.

Posted by: Lori | July 06, 2008 at 05:35 PM

Leonard and I have discussed this topic over and over again, and we actually came up with the same comparison that you did as far as alcoholism/homosexuality. Although some would disagree with me (obviously), I really believe homosexuality can be very harmful. I think any type of sexual sin is extremely harmful. It's just it's on the inside... where people can't see it as well.

But at the same time, I don't think anyone is going to convince anyone else of their viewpoint. I think this is something that has to be revealed by God Himself. So I pray. I pray that we all see the TRUTH. In the meantime, I continue to love and care for all others, regardless of what their struggles, or mine, might be.

Posted by: Tracy | July 09, 2008 at 04:19 PM

Tracy, well said! Thanks.

Posted by: Lori | July 09, 2008 at 09:14 PM

Hi. I'm Serenity, and I eat whatever I want when I want way beyond my full point. I'm pretty sure there's a negative biblical term for this too.

I appreciate Dennis's philosophical questions that help me examine my belief system and life choices to see where they might contradict one another and come without reason. But I get lost on one crucial point. He said this, "If, on the other hand, things are called bad by God because they are recognizably bad, then why do we need the divine prohibition to discover their bad nature?"

My reoccurring confusion is, is it absolutely necessary that we first find a reason for there to be a Divine Being at all before we believe in Him? Just because we could figure out all things bad for us, does that automatically counteract any possibility that there is a Creator suggesting them? Of course, our faith's typically accepted history suggests an answer to this question in the story of Adam and Eve and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. First came God, then came our understanding. But of course, Dennis and I don't both start at that foundation. So I guess I'm wondering - does philosophy allow at all for that foundation to be laid by faith? "I believe, therefore . . . all else"? Or must I have logic before faith?

Posted by: Serenity | July 10, 2008 at 08:06 AM

Serenity, your eating comment was hilarious! Me, too! Here is an article you might find interesting: http://www.creationinthecrossfire.com/documents/JonosLogic1/JonosLOGIC1.html
(You'll have to paste it into your browser) It talks about what you brought up.

Posted by: Lori | July 10, 2008 at 11:48 AM

Lori - nice post. You keep being open and honest and God will bless it!

Posted by: Theresa | July 10, 2008 at 09:23 PM