Military Chaplain's Wife

It's been so long since I've actually sat down to write what all is going on in my life that I find it difficult to do so. So much of what I do Monday through Friday is work, come home and cook dinner - and nothing too fancy at that - and crash. It's difficult sometimes - having little energy for other things that are precious to me. There are days I really miss the old days of just taking care of my family and anticipating their arrival home from school and work, having dinner ready and a clean house, and just time to do things like hang out with my friend, Sheryll. (I don't have a whole lot of really close friends here, but, praise God, He's given me an amazing friend in her!) We get together at least once a week and I think we could talk for hours and hours...oh wait, we do! ...but we could talk longer if we had the time.

But, back to what I was saying, I also want to be careful not to have an attitude of ungratefulness. I know the Lord provided this job for my family for this time in our life. I can't even begin to imagine how we would have been able to pay for our daughter's wedding and the travel arrangements without this job. I praise God for this job. He knows our needs long before we do, and just at the right moment this job landed in my lap. Thank you, Lord!

Yesterday I took my lunch break really early - 7:30 a.m. - to help provide breakfast for all the soldiers in my husband's unit. It probably ministered to my heart more than it did anything for them. Seeing them in uniform, gun in hand (except for my husband, of course), coming to enjoy breakfast (some with their wives and children waiting for them) made me feel a part of something bigger than just life as I see it some days. It was nice, and seeing my husband in his element always puts a smile on my face.

Last weekend we were at a marriage retreat with my husband's soldiers and I was reminded of the life so many of them lead. Difficult. Often lonely for one or both. Many without Christ. I found myself very burdened for so many of these young couples. It was difficult to shake, and hard to watch when some would show evidence of a troubled marriage. And then Sunday I felt the burden lift as God reminded me that that's why He sent us here - to bring hope to soldiers and their families. I feel so inadequate. I feel so out of place so often, and constantly ask God to show me how to minister to them. It's not as easy as you would think! Often times they don't want the help, or the Helper.

Only Jesus Christ can fill the void in their lives. Only Christ can bring hope to seemingly hopeless circumstance. Only Christ can change a hard heart. Only Christ can restore the broken-hearted. Only knowing what it means to be truly forgiven allows us to forgive others. Knowing all that, and knowing what a beautiful marriage is because of the grace of God made me want so much more for so many of them. Pray for our soldiers and families as we seek to minister to them and share the love of Christ with them. Pray for us as we seek to live out the life God has planned for us and share His love with those around us.

My mind is everywhere...so many things on our plate and so much moving along so quickly. I honestly cannot believe it's the middle of November! It's hard to believe in a month and five days we'll be giving our little girl away. God is helping us to let go of her more and more...and boy can that be emotional sometimes. It's a huge thing to trust God with your kid's future. I wrestle with God often on this matter! I love her so much that some days I just want to hold on way too tight and God has to constantly remind me that she is His child. His plans are much bigger than ours, His ways are much higher - isn't that what He promises?!!

If you have a child about to get married you know what I'm talking about! God unfolds much to us during these times...and all that we must have put our own parents through. Can I get a witness?! There is fear and excitement all wrapped up in a bundle of love. All of life prepares us for these moments of letting go, yet somehow we're caught off guard. We've been raising them for years and years, training and encouraging them to spread their wings and fly...so why do we struggle when they say their ready to do so? I think it's all a part of a bigger picture; part of growing us and teaching us to trust God with those things we love most - our family. We tend to forget that another little family will be born out of ours! (That just put a smile on my face.) One day our children will be having children of their own and carrying on our Christian heritage. What a blessing!

A few minutes ago I unzipped the garment bag just to take another look at my daughter's gorgeous wedding dress. I know she will take his breath away on that special day. It's exciting, beautiful, dreams are big and life is unfolding... Life is just as it should be, and God is good!

We would not enjoy the freedoms we have today without your bravery and sacrifice. Thank you for serving our country!

I love the saying...

HOME OF THE FREE BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE!

Thank you!!!

Their love, support and sensitivity to others has at times overwhelmed this mother's heart. I can't imagine our lives without them. They're so very, very precious!!!

Happy 13th birthday, boys!!! We love you, and thank God every day for blessing our lives with the two of you (at the same time!). You are loved so very, very much!!! We know you both make sacrifices for your dad to be able to minister to the soldiers and their families, and we thank you for your willingness to share him with others. You are wonderful sons, and we couldn't be more proud of both of you. As you continue to grow physically, I pray you will continue to grow spiritually...putting God first and being surrendered to His will. There's nothing more important! Thank you for the love you show to others; you are making a difference in other people's lives! May this day be very special because you are very special. Love you boys! - Mom

I find myself missing this place! It's not always easy to sit down and write what's on my heart (especially when it's so public)...and sometimes I'm not even really sure what's on my heart, much less able to express it, but this evening as I was spending time in God's word I found this scripture to be very thought provoking:

Just this morning I received a question - what are some of the downfalls of being a chaplain's wife? So, I thought to myself, maybe I'm not eluding to the difficulties we face, or maybe this person hasn't read some of the "issues" I've faced in the journey as of yet. Either way, I thought this was a good topic for today.

For anyone who has ever been in a church ministry setting, the chaplaincy is much different (at least it has been for us). My husband and I walked "hand in hand" every step of the way for 13 years of church ministry. The ministries changed... We started out Sunday School teachers to four and five year old children in a church in Germany (might I add, it was like 25 four and five year olds who won our hearts but wore us out every Sunday...we'd have to go home and take a nap! :) oh, but we loved it!), then we were asked to teach a young married couple's class (which was wonderful...and for the first time I saw that God was truly molding and shaping my husband for something even more beautiful.)

All this took place while my husband was in the Air Force. Somewhere along the way, God really got a hold of our hearts and our lives began to really change. My husband began to really surrender his whole heart to the Lord. He was a new man. Totally sold out for Christ. It was there that one day he knew for certain God had called him to be a minister. He had no idea what that looked like, or what to do, but he knew God wanted more and he was willing to give it.

From Germany, we moved to Oklahoma, where we quickly became involved in a church in the small town of Duke. It was really small...like 400 people small. Not long after joining, we were asked to work with the youth. We had a wonderful ministry there. Many times my husband would tell me he had this strange urge to preach. Now, coming from a man who doesn't speak much, you can believe me when I say it was even foreign to him to have these feelings. But, I had already began to see the preacher in him as he would teach the youth. There before them stood a preacher, called by God, to minister to their young hearts. We worked and taught alongside each other and I kind of always imagined we'd just stay there...but God had other plans.

Towards the end of our time there, a church down the road (in an even smaller town) asked my husband to be their interim pastor, and so we made the tough decision to leave the church in Duke (not completely though, as I would still go on Sunday night and Wednesdays to work with the children...something that began when God showed me the children were needing someone to minister to them as well). This was a very loving church, where God could grow my husband and allow him the opportunity to preach. I was so moved by his preaching that I never wanted to hear anyone else! The church was small, and the people were much, much older than us...and the only children there were ours, but we knew it was God's will. It wasn't easy sometimes because there weren't any other children, but I was quickly able to look back and see that God was preparing us for something that would prove to make that time in our lives useful for the years ahead.

I know this is getting long so I'll just say that we ended up in Texas, my husband worked a full time job, went to seminary full time and after a few months also preached every Sunday. After starting the church in Arlington, serving alongside each other like never before, and imagining that we would probably be there for the rest of our lives, God messed with our plans!

Today, we are here, serving in a totally different way. The first few months, when I was busy helping us to settle into our new life, were fairly easy. Once I finished setting up "home" I began to feel the sadness of not having that "hand in hand" feeling of ministry. I missed not being able to serve alongside my husband and experience what he was. He was seeing God at work. He was understanding why we were here. He was seeing the fruit of his labor. Not at first though. I want to add that it wasn't an easy transition for him either. It took time to learn the ropes of the Army and the chaplaincy. Much was demanded of him, with little know how on his part.

Isn't it in those times when we see that it's God, not us, doing the work?!

When you question why you're at a place in your life where you can't seem to get your mind or hands around something and it just seems too big...hold on and trust the Lord! If you are certain it is He who called you to something, just continue to walk with Him! He will get you to where you need to be, and He will help you learn the ropes. Let Him carry you on the days when you can't see why it is you are where you are and it's not as easy as you imagined it would be.

There are things that aren't easy about being a chaplain's wife, or Army wife. I wouldn't necessarily call them downfalls. It's just different. My husband always says, "Different is just different, not better or worse," and I've come to understand that. Our ministry IS very different here. It's more one on one. It's more about him being out among the soldiers and me supporting him and praying for him and encouraging him...and when the opportunity arises for me to actual be there with him ministering (like the retreats and other things) I jump on it! Just hearing how God is moving in even one soldier's life moves me. Knowing my husband is ministering to those who would give their life for another and sacrifice daily fills my heart with joy. God has taught me a lot about trusting Him in this ministry.

There are days when I really, really miss our church family and all that we had there, but I also am fully aware that whatever it is that God calls us to do He will be right there to help us to accomplish His will. He will bring comfort when we are lonely. He will bring strength when we are weary and worn out. He will bring new friendships. He will bring new ministries our way. And, ultimately, He will be glorified for the work that is being done to bring people into fellowship with him.

When trying to count the cost of what it will mean to take a step into a different direction, you only have to ask yourself one thing - did the Lord call me to this? If He did, there are no downfalls, only possible hardships. And, He will be right there with you. All throughout scripture people faced hardships to further the kingdom. Count the cost. We're told to do that. But then, follow at all cost. There's no other way to live. Glory to God!

There are times I feel as though the world around me is spinning just a little too quickly. My oldest son just recently turned 21, our daughter is preparing to get married in December, our twins are about to turn 13, and, well, quite frankly, sometimes that's just a little too much for a mom to handle all in one year.

Good thing I'm not handling it all on my own!

This morning (I wrote this on Sunday...and am publishing it on Tuesday) in chapel the sermon was about rest for the weary and, although I don't feel weary right now, I loved the reminder of whose yolk I should be carrying.

Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus speaking -

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Probably the heaviest load I carry sometimes, at this point in my life is 1) the thought of my husband deploying, and 2) there are days when I just don't want to let go of my kids. I had one of those moments last week where I stood in the doorway of my daughter's room sobbing like a baby. I love that they are maturing, but there are just those times when I want my kids to be little again so I can hold them in my lap and snuggle them! There are days when I don't want to give my daughter away, I don't want my oldest son to be living on the other side of the world (or so it seems!), I don't want my last two babies to be turning teenagers... I just DON'T. :)

Then there are days when I look around me and see that my children are turning out to be fine young adults, and we are about to enter into a new phase of life, and I'm excited about that too. How wild at times to think about the new phase of being in-laws and letting go even more. About this time last year we were experiencing all that comes with great change as we left our oldest two in Texas. Later God brought our daughter to us here, but we still had to begin a new life with two of our children far from us.

The burden could have been very heavy, but quickly we saw that the Lord was taking care of us all, and working in each of our lives to bring us to the place He wanted us to be. He's still at work. He's still growing us and teaching us all to lean on Him. From time to time though, I want to pick up my own yoke, throw it on my back, and try to make things turn out the way I want them. Today was a good reminder for me that HIS yoke is light, and to trust HIM in ALL things.

God IS in control and Life IS good.

Thank you for the prayers! We finally got to hear her voice this morning...a very wonderful sound to our ears! She is out of ICU...praise the Lord! But, please continue to pray for the pain she is in and the migranes she is having, as well as her healing.

Thanks again for the prayers! We really appreciate it!

My son was able to get leave for our daughter's wedding and Christmas!!! ...we're all so very, very happy about that! God is good!!!