Julie R. Neidlinger: Lone Prairie Blog (via Mowser)

You are not a nerd.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 7 comments link this post

I think, if I see another celebrity blurb where some no-brain celebrity claims to be a nerd...

Nerd is the new cool, I guess.

So here we have Megan Fox, who can't quit talking about sex in just about every news story I regretfully stumble upon, telling us she's the "biggest nerd." And why is she nerdy?

I'm the biggest nerd - I love comic books and stuff like that!

That quote is followed by a snippet revealing that Shia LaBeouf, too, claims to be a nerd. Why?

I'm addicted to my Xbox too.

A serious addiction to comic books and gaming might make you nearly functionally illiterate, but that certainly doesn't fit my definition of a nerd. Comic books and gaming are merely the easily acquired and common interests of a huge majority of the population, which is hardly nerd-like. I mean, Guitar Hero. Yes. Fun, maybe, but much easier than actually learning to play a real guitar. And so forth, down the line, with the analogy.

I used to think a nerd was someone who had their nose stuck in a book and liked science or math or other serious intellectual pursuits and had questionable social skills. It certainly wasn't some twit actress who can't keep herself covered in any promotional photo and is doing all she can -- just short of saying how much she loves loves loves to watch football -- to endear herself to men.

"Look, I like comic books! I'm such a nerd! I wear my bikini while reading them, too! Whee!"

I realize I'm going to bring down the wrath of all the comic book fans and gamers, but I don't care. To a general degree, I don't have problems with people who like comic books or video games (though I have a few issues with "serious" and addicted gamers). I just think the whole "look I'm a nerd" has become another annoying accessory and badge of honor for the current time and is an insult to introverted, abstract, esoteric, socially inept and defunct, intelligent nerds everywhere.

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Labels: celebrities, rant

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Is it annoying? Yes.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 4 comments link this post

I try not to link to stories Drudge links to because, basically, what's the point? However, the story about the bobcats moving into the empty, foreclosed house was interesting. Until I got to this part:

"Bobcats are not known to attack humans," said Monique Middleton of Animal Friends of the Valley, which provides animal-control services.

"But are they pussycats? No. Can they do a lot of damage? Yes," she said. "They usually look for a food and water source, and there is an old koi pond in the backyard and that's where they are headed."

Is it possible to make direct statements? Yes. Does it seem anyone is capable of it anymore? No. Should we just phrase all of our statements as questions? Um...

WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON DOING THIS??!!!

Just say "They aren't pussycats. They can do a lot of damage." Spare us the excess verbiage! You sound stupid! I want to beat this out of people, I really do.

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Labels: links, rant

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Things you can yell during traffic that won't affect the equation.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 6 comments link this post

1. You idiot!

2. I know changing lanes in an intersection is against the rules but since YOU ARE ALL BUT AT A STANDSTILL AND THE GREEN IS GOING TO YELLOW you force me to do it. Idiot.

3. Thank you, Bismarck street department, for putting down fresh oil and enough gravel to rival the Appalachian mountains, since it seems that CITY DRIVERS DON'T KNOW ENOUGH TO SLOW DOWN AND NOT CHIP EVERYONE ELSE'S WINDSHIELD!

4. It doesn't get any greener!

5. Do you need some kind of instruction manual on how to use your turn signal? IT'S SO COMPLICATED.

And this was all just in the short drive from the airport back to where I live.

I am tightly wound. There's a line from the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off that comes to mind...

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Labels: humor, my life, rant

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I hate July.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 6 comments link this post

I know that hate is a strong word. I now direct that towards the month of July.

July is extremely hot.
Buggy.
Overgrown with plants and weeds and pollen.
Sunblock must be slathered on.
Sweat.
Wild weather.
Hot.
Hot.

In fact, July's only saving grace that keeps it one notch above August is that it has a holiday, a holiday marked by trips to the local burn unit and processed meat product scorched on a grill. That, and the fact that some people continue to insult me by spelling "julie" as "july" which makes very little sense.

And, now that I think about it, August is when all the kids go back to school which I like to see, since it gets them off the street, out of the library, and out of the stores.

So maybe August is pulling up closer to July here in the backstretch.

I suppose "curmudgeon" would be the word you're looking for, right now.

Maybe it's time for some more of my great poetry, dedicated to July.

Ode to July
And its many points of disgust.
Or, at least one point of disgust.
by Julie R. Neidlinger

I hate you, July.
I really do.
You convince old men
that its acceptable to wear Speedos
at the beach.
Gross.

Labels: poetry, rant, summer 2008

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Clean linen.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

I don't know what's worse: the smell of rotting mouse in a sizzling hot car, or the smell of rotting mouse blanketed in the technically non-existent Febreze-created scent of "clean linen."

What does clean linen smell like, anyway? Do you ever think how stupid that really is? I have especially come to loathe it in laundry detergent.

Real clean linen, after all, has just been washed in laundry detergent made to smell like "fresh rain" or "lavender vanilla" and so it doesn't really have its own scent. If it's unscented it's...without scent. Unless you're throwing a bucket of manure in the rinse cycle, all of your linen will smell "clean."

Products labeled with the "clean linen" scent often have images of clothes on a line, waving in the sunshine and breeze. Only an idiot, however, thinks that clothes out on the line have a smell you'd want to capture in a bottle. My experience has been that clothes off of the line, besides crawling with bugs, smell like smoke from burning ditches. Or, they tend to have a musty smell from a coating of dust from the evidently over-insured who drive like maniacs down the loose gravel road in front of our house.

"Clean linen", as a laundry detergent scent, seems like selling people "refrigerated ice."

And I can't say much for its ability to disguise the scent of the recently broiled and departed. I have a feeling there's a mummy joke in here, somewhere, what with the death and linen theme, but mainly I just have rage.

I'm messed up.

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Labels: rant

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Forked mouth.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

The economy is pretty good up here in the Dakotas. It's actually, in some regions and types of work, difficult to find workers. The discussion that drives me crazy, then, generally goes something like this:

"Those Mexicans come in and take all the jobs. And, I tell you what, they better learn to speak our language!"

Something like that. Then there's more yammering along those lines before the conversation goes like this:

"I can't get anyone to work on (the farm/the business/the shop). I can't afford to pay them what they ask now. For the work I need done, I can't afford to hire anyone! There's no one to work."

My suggestion, which I do not tend to voice aloud and hide behind a grimace, is to consider hiring some of "those Mexicans" that are supposedly taking all the jobs. I also suggest that many English-speaking Americans can't even speak the language. Seriously.

What jobs are they taking? The jobs we don't want to do but must be done?

The truth is, few Americans are willing to take certain kinds of jobs. We expect more for ourselves: more benefits, better pay, breaks, and certainly as little manual labor as possible. Maybe some are lazy -- I don't know, though I don't think that's fully accurate. Still, you won't find many of us out in the strawberry or broccoli fields of California, hoeing and working. Unless they invent a machine that we can drive to do the work, we don't do it. We still expect to have that produce in the supermarket, though, even in winter. We like the lettuce and tomatoes on our fast food burgers that we eat while complaining about the immigrants whose hands helped bring that food to us.

There's still a pretty good work ethic up here; I see it in the groups when we go to Nicaragua where we work like dogs all day in the hot sun. That, however, is a week or two experience and not our daily grind. I don't know that we'd be throwing ourselves into such a job every day for our livelihood. I know I'd probably look for something a little less extreme.

It's an odd mash-up and I'm not about to make gigantic, locked-in assumptions about different ethnic groups. There are plenty of hard-working Americans in dangerous and back-breaking jobs (mining comes to mind). I simply find it more and more tiring to hear the litany of complaints, ranging from language threats to job-stealing and not be aware of how much we have grown to depend upon the people we are verbally cutting up.

You know, when I walk into WalMart and see Spanish on a sign, I don't get freaked or upset. My blood pressure doesn't go up, and I don't reach for an American flag or stick a bumper sticker on my car that says something about learning the language. I think about Nicaragua and how much I want to learn Spanish and the people I love down there, and I move on. Frankly, the Hispanic culture is a rich, family-based culture that we could learn a bit from in our day and age.

It sure is nice to be able to bitterly complain about the people keeping us from getting scurvy or rickets during the winter in the guise of alleged culture and job destruction while, out of the same mouth, complaining that we can't find workers to fill low-paying jobs.

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Note: This post was pre-written and published as scheduled. Read more about this here.

Labels: culture, current events, rant

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The skunk by the outhouse.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

Talk about your stinkers.

Today, on the last day of the trip, I did the driving. I'm a pretty good driver. I've not been in an accident as a driver, nor hit a deer, nor gotten a speeding ticket. I've driven in lots of cities and in the mountains and in the desert of the Southwest. I've followed maps, planned complex itineraries, booked flights, traveled internationally on my own, followed instructions written on the back of a paper napkin.

I've done some traveling and driving in my time. I am fully up to the job.

Today, as we left a hotel in Knoxville where part of the group stayed, I found myself with five backseat drivers, TomTom (the GPS system) yammering his own directions, and me with absolutely no patience left.

"Goddamn it, I can drive!"

That's what I hollered.

Shameful.

The car got quiet. The atlas, which had been passed back and forth with different (and conflicting) suggestions being offered to me, was stilled. I floored it, made a U-turn, jammed the accelerator to the floor, and went roaring onto I-40 east. I followed the detour signs only to hear more comments of "I don't think this is right" and "we're heading north -- this isn't right."

I know how to read a road sign!!!

I maintained the deadly silence that befalls me when I am ready to rip heads off, answering in overly polite, clipped tones.

The problem here is that the entire vehicle of passengers, which had ridden safely and sleepily all day with me doing the driving through some of Illinois, Kentucky, Nashville, and on into Knoxville, had no complaints. No problems then, but suddenly they doubted my ability to drive after me missing one entrance and everyone trying to over-correct me. I had to listen to my dad suggest the place and best way to do a three point turn, and watch as he began to brace himself as I was driving, as if I was one moment from mishap. I had to hear all kinds of suggestions on how we ought to be heading south again. My 15-year-old nephew even spoke up while I was pulling into the temporary guest spot at the resort where we were to check-in, clearly thinking I couldn't even figure that out.

This is really angering to me. I get no respect (sorry, Rodney) from family on a certain level, always the "baby" of the family or somehow inept, and will always be incapable or something.

I. Can. Drive.

I can.

People in other walks and situations of life have no doubt of my abilities, but because I had to suffer through the hollering of five backseat drivers and make U-turns and have to suffer through patronizing "look, this is our exit, you're doing good, Julie" and "calm down, you're OK" comments -- suddenly, my 15-year-old nephew has come to believe I can't even pull up to a hotel the right way.

Thank you, family, for helping instill that in his mind.

My sister drove to the grocery store after we'd unpacked; I don't think I'll do any more driving for this bunch ever again. I'd have liked to have seen any of those backseat drivers put up with all that ruckus and confusion and come out smelling like a rose.

And speaking of things smelling good...

This resort (Wyndham condos or something) here in the Tennessee Smoky Mountains is fabulous -- way above my price range and I feel shabby here, as if I should be a maid or something. And the rotten ending to a day that had been going so well really tainted it. But the presence of the skunk by the outhouse on the construction site, as I walked to the office and the computer, made me feel a little better. Somehow.

At least I wasn't the only one stinking up the day.

Note: This post written while two people waiting for the computer sat behind me and talked and made it clear they were waiting, waiting, waiting for me to finish. The wrong day to push my buttons, people, the wrong day. Just shut up with y'all for five minutes so I can write @&^!0% it.

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Labels: family, my life, rant, travel

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Follow the leader.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 9 comments link this post

Regarding youth pastors (leaving out any in-depth discussion on my thoughts on the concept of "youth ministry", its validity, what it promotes, the self-feeding problems it creates by its very nature, and how some things can be tied to concepts of the idea of "youth culture" as found in this book), I have come to discover a very obvious truth:

Youth follow as they are led.

So:

The louder and more obnoxious the youth leader, the louder and more obnoxious the youth group.

You may fill in the above adjectives using: boorish, simplistic, unthinking, thoughtful, considerate, devoted, surface, shallow, deep, right-hearted, contentious, divisive, etc.

You may also substitute "youth leader" for any kind of leader, such as: president, presidential candidate, teacher, pastor, etc.

You may add to the discussion the ideas of perpetual pizza parties; 36-year old men who still say "sweet" and "dude" while former youth have grown up, married, have kids, and make their old youth leaders look stupid; the strange necessity of male youth leaders to half shave heads or facial hair, or use Kool-Aid to dye their hair as a prize for ridiculous contests such as who can hand out the most tracts or memorize the most Bible verses; the weird things done with Jello; and, in general, the concept of pandering to the lowest common denominator when playing a numbers game.

Obviously, I've got my deep-thinking cap on today.

Because if I have to go to another youth event where the church kids run down the halls of the hotel screaming and throwing ice at 11:30 p.m., I am going to shove my head out the door and cuss a $!@#$&! blue streak -- church kids or not -- about their rotten behavior which is somehow written off as "that's how kids are" when it is, indeed, not how they should or can be.

Because, for some reason, I think 17 and 18-year old "kids" can grow up and behave better since historically they could have been working in coal mines, getting blown up in trenches, or be halfway through their total life expectancy.

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Labels: politics, rant, religion

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Death to answers-by-questions.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 3 comments link this post

I cannot stand the latest trend in defensive discourse. It's one where a person speaks and/or writes using questions that he or she answers immediately. Here's an example from a post over at my Lone Prairie Studies blog:

We CRAVED the word of God. WE CRAVED the preaching of the gospel. We were starving and wasting away spiritually.... Was it difficult to leave? Yes. Were we sad to leave our brothers and sisters? Yes. Did we have to go? Yes. And the Lord has made up for all that we had to leave behind.

You see this all the time. Politicians, interviews, bloggers, online forums -- everywhere. Instead of all the rigmarole as seen above, the entire paragraph could have been stronger and less defensive by simply stating:

It was difficult to leave. We were sad to leave our brothers and sisters. We had to go.

The only reason I can figure that people use this technique, now, is because:

Laziness. They think they know the questions that will be raised from whatever they are talking about, so they put those questions into the writing, and answer them, to save time and effort. They want to effectively avoid certain types or depths of questions, so they include a bastardized version of the question that really doesn't ask anything in depth but appears to have answered it, thereby shutting up the people who want to ask something similar. Everyone else does it, and it is so rampant, that people think it is not only acceptable but also some form of intelligent writing. (It isn't.) The writer is defensive and wary of attack. This could be part of his nature, or it might be because he has an inkling that the position he's holding to isn't very strong, or at least, as strong as he would like. He has to come out with all the bases covered to head off any foreseeable attacks before they can even start.

For example, a politician might say: "Was it wrong to have relations with that woman? Yes, no question." This makes anyone who later asks any question that ponders the rightness and wrongness of the situation seem silly. "I already answered that." Though it is true that the simplest, barest version of the question was answered, it really wasn't answered.

It's as bad as using "I think" in front of declarative statements. Of course you think that. You're saying it. The only reason a person uses "I think" in front of it is to leave himself an out if someone proves the statement wrong.

"Well, I never said it was true. I only said that's what I think."

One of my favorite essays of all time is George Orwell's "Politics and the English Language." I've read it countless times. I have a feeling that somehow, if he were still around, he'd agree with me on this topic. At the very least, he'd unflinchingly point out the excessiveness of the technique, if not fully despise it as I do.

Is there a better way to write? Yes there is. Have I ever done something similarly annoying on this blog? Very likely. Am I the world's best, most flawless writer? Not by a long shot. Does this still irritate and annoy and drive me to near insanity when I see it?

Absolutely.

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Labels: blogging, rant, writing

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Devils Lake's own she-wolf.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

Sculpture groupings should not be haphazard, or the end up looking as bad as "add-on" architecture.

The classic case would be the "She-wolf of the Capitol", or, I suppose as the proper name, the Capitoline Wolf. Etruscan wolf with...little suckling humans added on later. It's a sculpture that nearly drove me insane while studying art history in college.

What were they thinking? The styles -- none of it -- is coherent! I would think as we discussed the reasons the 15th century babies were later added to a much older sculpture. The margins of my notebook are filled with unreasonable and insane ramblings about the propensity for humans to keep adding on. I also had many grumpy-looking drawings. I was highly dissatisfied.

Yes, in keeping with the theme of "posts on subjects that matter little", I am going to tell you about the sculpture grouping in Devils Lake that seems to have slipped past the point of no return.

It started as a very nice sculpture of five geese flying, in memory of a man who had died. This was eventually located at the corner where Highway 19 and 17 intersect in Devils Lake. Then, a piece of WW2-era captured Japanese artillery was added on a concrete base just off to the side of the geese grouping.

Hmmm. What's the message here? I thought the first time I drove past the burgeoning "sculpture park." I knew the city of New Rockford had some a tank and a Vietnam-era (I think) helicopter situated near the highway, but those were all military in origin and the effect was one of a memorial of a number of different wars.

This was...artillery and geese.

Later, after much fuss in the paper after a private citizen purchased a life-size bronze sculpture of a soldier holding a rifle at rest and stuck it out in the same general area -- The Park Board was upset! Did they now have to put up with caring for any sculpture that a person wanted to stick out there?! -- and so then I started to feel that the very nice geese were out of place.

At some point, unbeknownst to me, three more identical soldier figures were purchased, and set at each corner of the artillery piece. There is also a huge, full-color eagle figure somewhere to the back off all of this, flanked by flags, in frozen near-take-off.

The effect is, in my opinion, weird.

I can't find a better word than weird.

We can't just go around sticking sculpture together! A sculptural grouping must be planned or else it becomes like add-on architecture in which styles and materials don't match and the lack of cohesiveness gives little other message than "We didn't plan this."

It's very much like how people hire a contractor to tack a bay window onto a bungalow house or some other such building -- it does not fit visually! Why not just add Palladian windows or Greek Revival architecture to a pup tent! Same thing!

Consider this blog post my margins for ranting about this particular instance.

To complete the look of the Devils Lake sculpture grouping, all we need now are some Renaissance putti sitting on the shoulders of the soldier statues. Then we can call it a day.

My work here is done.

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Labels: art, local, rant

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Growing hemp.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

I was at a trade show/conference a few years ago when I came upon a booth with information and materials regarding industrial hemp. I was more annoyed than anything; it looked less like a serious booth promoting an agricultural product and more like the merchandise table at a Pink Floyd concert. Associating a hippy/marijuana look to a booth does nothing but promote the idea that industrial hemp is waiting to be rolled and smoked. Nevertheless, avoiding the man who seemed to have avoided shaving and bathing for quite a while, I maneuvered into the booth and picked up some pamphlets.

Industrial hemp is not akin to growing enough smokable product for all the potheads in North America. Nevertheless, it is seen as a "slippery slope" issue for those concerned about it ushering in legalized marijuana. Support from marijuana proponents does little to help:

Jack Herer, an admitted longtime marijuana smoker and member of HIA, is universally recognized as the "patriarch of the modern hemp movement." He admonished attendees of this first HIA conference, "Don't forget that the joints you smoke and the fiber you make into clothes are the same plant." The article went on to say, "Some hempsters strained to get Jack to acknowledge that hemp just might be the most realistic avenue to legalization of marijuana."

[...]

Chris Conrad, first HIA President and current board member, recently appeared on High Times' "Top 25 Pot Stars" list. High Times quoted Conrad as saying, "I'm amazed at how many of the predictions I made in the late 1980s about industrial hemp and medical marijuana have since come true. We've linked ...(various groups)...into an alliance that knows hemp is here for good. Now the pot smokers need to come out of the closet to win their equal rights."

Whether or not the full legalization of industrial hemp will bring marijuana in as a legalized substance does not change the fact that industrial hemp is not the same plant and does not have the ability to make you wasted and stink up your college American History class while sitting there, bleary-eyed and stoic, oblivious to the need for a bar of soap and some running water, ruining the education experience for your fellow classmates.*

Dave Monson, from Osnabrock, North Dakota, has been having a devil of a time trying to make such a point. He's been trying for years to make a point of fulfilling the requirements and following North Dakota law which says, essentially, that the state's laws are enough. The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), however, thinks otherwise. In a recent local newspaper article (no online link), Monson indicated that the key roadblocks to growing hemp, besides the DEA, are the cotton and paper industry. Hemp would be quite a challenge to those industries because of its fiber potential -- it makes a great paper, and you don't need to own and cut down huge swaths of forested land to get your paper.**

Because industrial hemp is part of the family from which the Dooby Brothers hold family reunions, it is restricted by the DEA. In keeping with that line of familial restriction, though, I wonder why the state hasn't seen fit to rid flower beds of poppies. They are of a family from which we can get heroin, after all.

My mother will have to cease and desist from making kolaches!

The state of North Dakota is admittedly unique in that it has passed laws and made efforts to allow farmers to grow this crop. The state's Department of Agriculture tried to make the state a leader in hemp production.

The DEA, however, had other plans.

"Industrial hemp production remains in limbo. The refusal of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) to distinguish industrial hemp from marijuana casts considerable doubt on whether holders of state licenses will be allowed to grow industrial hemp. Nevertheless, I am committed to fully implementing state laws authorizing the production, processing and sale of this crop in North Dakota." -- Roger Johnson, North Dakota Agriculture Commissioner

It blows my mind to think that a government that all but begged the country's farmers to grow hemp during World War 2 -- even subsidized it -- now has to run about with lawsuits, fees, and paperwork to stop the same thing from happening. North Dakota's own congressional delegation will not take up the issue, even though the state is being bullied by a federal agency from following its own laws.

Alas.

All we need now is for High Times and Willie Nelson to pick up the cause of industrial hemp, and it will be smoked for good.

Links:

Industrial hemp uses, facts, myths. ND tries to legalize hemp. IndustrialHemp.net

-----------------------------------

*His name was Lance, and he could barely open his book. He always sat next to me. It was like holding class in an incense shop. I'm still bitter about it.

**In a paper-making class in college, a student had hemp fibers and made paper from it. Fabulous paper. I also remember thinking, when I was driving through the far Western parts of the state of Washington, that it was a real shame such huge chunks of pine forest were being razed for mere paper production. Trees may technically be a renewable resource, but hemp, with it's singular growing season, renews a lot faster than a clear-cut forest.

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Labels: north dakota, rant

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Answers that disgust me.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

::The "local" newspaper out of Devils Lake contains a section once a week where they pick a random person off the street and ask them the same questions. One of the responses below is a real one, from this past week.::

Q. What is a favorite activity that you like to do?
A. I like to kill kitties.

Q. Favorite color?
A. Paisley

Q. If you could invite to dinner any three people -- other than family -- living or dead, who would they be?
A. Jeff Gordon, Jimmy Johnson and Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

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Labels: local, rant

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The mall is already horrific enough.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 14 comments link this post

As is the strange normality in the United States, any time a tragedy takes place, we simply must institute some kind of procedure or policy so that it doesn't happen again. Or, at the very least, write articles and talk about ways of trying to prevent the unpreventable.

Shopping mall shooter? Horrible. Fluke? Probably. Happen again? Possibly. Anything to do about it? No, not really. This article talks about the incident.

The sentence that got my attention the most was this one:

While Shoppers who were surveyed in focus groups indicated they would rather not have to go through metal detectors, they appeared willing to accept them if the government raised the terror alert level.

No.

No, actually, I am not willing to be searched, scanned, and have my bag dug through in every possible area of life that intersects with a public place because I'm not. I don't care if the terror alert level is through the roof. I don't want to be searched. I don't want to be that "safe." I want to retain my privacy and my mobility, and for plastic-gloved hands to quit pawing through my stuff.

When my German friends Bine and Christian came for a visit here, they told of an experience at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. Before going into the the museum, they had to leave their bags in a room after they were searched. Bine had her coat wadded up in her bag on the bottom, a black coat, and the searcher barely unzipped the bag, cracked it open, peeked inside, and said it was fine.

Bine, who is very blunt, said "My coat is on the bottom. Don't you want to move it aside and look underneath it?"

The helpful security searcher reassured her it was fine.

"But I could have something there. If you're going to make us all be searched, you should actually search."

The security person became irate with her, and at that point, pulled everything out to look. There was nothing, of course, but the point being that what is the point of all this hassle when the people doing the searches aren't even doing a good enough job to make it worth while?

I don't feel safer for having to go into places and have my bags surface-pawed through by the unobservant oberservers. Cameras are only as good as the people watching the feed. Searches are only as good as the searchers. People show up to punch the time card and deal with crowds of people as quickly as possible; human nature makes a routine of things very quickly and it is humanly impossible to be perfectly vigilant and on the money every moment. Such vigilance, however, is required if such policies are to have any effect. Essentially, we insist the impossible is possible and put our trust in an inherently flawed mechanism.

The collection of things like nail files and clippers and jack knives and lighters in no way makes me feel like things are working correctly. And there is nothing that compares to the personal indignity -- yes, indignity, which matters to me as much as "safety" -- of having your suitcase thrown wide-open on a counter in front of a bunch of other strangers and having some guy paw through all my personal items, clothing, underwear, and toiletries so everyone and their grandma can have a look. The Grand Forks airport is exceptionally terrible for this, considering that they do it right out in the open next to the busy check-in counters along the main walking area. It is visible from every vantage point of the building.

Or, worse yet, being randomly pulled out of the line at Chicago O'Hare while everyone else is boarding, and having the hand-held metal detector swept over my body only to have it beep because certain undergarments contain metal hooks, which meant that, in front of a packed concourse, I had to have a woman feel me up.

"Better than being blown-up!" is the response to people like me who value privacy and personal dignity over such searches. Sure, being felt-up in public by a stranger probably is better than being blown up. Probability, however, makes me think that's little more than a red herring response. A kind of worse-case-scenario presented as likely-case-scenario used to get people to agree to things that are invasive and ought not be done.

Pointless. Annoying. Intrusive. It's a policy that takes the 99.999 percent of law-abiding people and turns them into a circus side-show where they have no privacy left. The last thing I want is for a mini version of this to happen everywhere, from malls to museums and onward.

But industry officials conceded that random acts of violence, like the Omaha attack in which 19-year-old Robert Hawkins killed eight people before turning the gun on himself, were difficult to prevent.

So why do we even bother considering it, polling about it, and letting "average" shoppers show their sheep-like stupidity -- in love with a fictional safety -- by even asking them if they'd mind "extra security"? I don't want to be fake-safe. I want to be uninhibited and left alone and take my chances in wild, crazy world of the shopping mall, museum, or any other public place. Random, by its very nature, is not planned and so planned defenses are only ever going to partially successful only in as much as the planned response randomly meets up in perfect time with the random violence.

You can't completely or regularly prevent what is random.

What was the issue in the shopping mall shooting in Omaha? Was it lack of security? The weapon of choice? Or was it the shooter himself? Which type of element should we focus on for some kind of successful resolution and problem-solving? Is it a problem that can be solved? If we're not really sure why the guy did it, do we really know how to prevent it? Building thicker security "walls" and removing weapons -- do these address the reason such things happen now, or is it merely dike-building against evil?

Dru Sjodin was taken from the parking lot of the Grand Forks Columbia Mall. After this occurred, there were increased security officers for a while, but there aren't now. It was mainly a knee-jerk please-the-public response more than anything. Such a thing won't happen again, in all probability. It was random. However, what feasible security measures would have prevented what happened to Sjodin? More officers? Constant patrols? Possibly, if they were driving through the parking lot at that moment, and if the perpetrator was stupid enough to do it when a patrol was present, i.e. if the planned happened to meet up with the random.

Should we focus on constant, high-grade (which is impossible) vigilance in preventing the act from being successful, or something else, when we think in terms of security? Is a defensive posture by some outside security force for safe-keeping of all citizens who dare venture out of their homes for normal life possible for the forseeable future? Is safety and security a matter of stopping things from happening so people aren't hurt? Or is it finding ways to keep going with uninhibited, free life in spite of the danger?

What is security? Is it really something I can attain by having my backpack searched by a stranger? Is my personal security something I can hand over at the entrance to a public place and not think about it again, or is it my responsibility?

I don't feel more secure thinking that I won't get hurt while I'm scanned, searched, checked over, and videotaped. I feel more secure thinking that I'm taking the chance that is life rather than handing it over to some person in a quasi-police uniform who may or may not be on the level himself. I don't feel safe putting my trust in the searches done by people on a time clock. I feel safer on my own, doing my thing.

The terrorist attacks did more than introduce front-page terror to the United States. It helped usher in, in a strange way, the false concept that we could "be secure" and that the government or an agency would do that for us. We've never been secure; we can't ever be secure. Life isn't secure. It isn't safe. But now we are stripped and searched and taped and brainwashed into thinking that's acceptable.

It isn't.

If I'm stupid enough to go to a mall and get the life sucked out of me by the bad music and annoying teenagers and too-small clothes, I certainly need all the energy I can get. I don't need to face a security facade at the door that's hoping to catch the next random wave of violence, should it land there today.

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Going postal.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

A month ago I sent a portrait to a customer in California, paying extra for faster delivery and confirmation. It took nearly two weeks to arrive, which I later learned was due to my package missing a "security" stamp, it being passed back and forth between the Grand Forks and Devils Lake post offices (because an absolutely huge, flat package from a known person is surely a threat) before my local postmaster managed to get them to ship it on its way to California. I pay extra for service, and get none.

Recently, our local post office had its hours reduced again. Here is the letter I sent to the USPS regarding this:

Please respond to this email.

The post office in Hampden, ND recently had its hours cut again which has further reduced already patchy service to hours which make it impossible for me to utilize the post office because of work. Since this is a rural area that requires most people to drive long distances, the new starting and closing times will not allow us to patronize our local post office.

You may suggest that we use the post office in the town of our work. The Catch-22 here is that our post office is in constant threat of closure and the way we can prove it is necessary is by supporting it with our business. By making it impossible to do this, you have successfully started it on its path to closure even though this service is vital to everyone. It is particularly vital to me, who has an internet business on the side and uses the postal service to ship out packages. I would like to continue to use the USPS but these continual reductions and cuts are making it next to impossible to do anything but start looking to UPS or DHL.

Please do not give me the usual line "we're just looking to cut expenses" since, in this particular case of cutting the hours of service, it comes off as more than suspect. I am writing to my congressmen, and local newspapers. This is not a threat, but merely the only option you have left us up here in rural areas as you increase rates and decrease service.

Summation: The newly cut hours make it impossible to patronize our local post office if we have outside jobs, which only increases the demise of the local post office since revenue will also decrease. It also hurts the postal worker who mans the office by severely reducing her pay, which has an effect on such a small economy. These changes are without good reason, are suspect, and are completely unacceptable for what I pay and the service I get in return.

Here is the letter I sent to my congressman, Senators Conrad and Dorgan, and Representative Pomeroy:

Dear ____________,

I live near Hampden, ND, a very small town 40 miles north of Devils Lake. For nearly ten years, I have had a web site in which I've sold art and other items all over the world. Over the years, the United States Postal Service (USPS) has continually reduced service and increased prices. The rural nature of this area is not uncommon across North Dakota, and I have few other options for shipping my products.

Our small post office is always in danger of being closed because it does not bring in enough revenue. Consequently, the local community is very, very good about mailing all that they can from the local post office. We all often even purchase P.O. boxes and don't use them much, all to show the USPS that there are people using and needing the local post office.

Most recently, the hours have been cut in such a manner that it is now impossible for many of us who have other jobs in distant towns to mail anything before or after work. Essentially, we are forced to not patronize our local post office, thereby cutting the revenue, and thereby making it appear to the USPS that not only did they save a few bucks by reducing the hours, but they could save a few more by just closing the post office and making it like Webster, ND, which has boxes for delivery, but no other services.

This is unacceptable. Hampden is not situated in a way that makes it feasible for people like me -- and others, like the quilting business in town, which ships quilts all over the country -- to drive 15 or 30 miles to mail a package each day. The cost of gas alone prohibits this. I have attended the Marketplace for Entrepreneurs events for nearly eight years and I know how you promote small business in North Dakota. There is no small business in the internet age if there is no method for shipping out product. This problem with the postal service in North Dakota is rarely addressed at these kinds of business conferences, yet it is a kind of foundation. This is important!

I have attempted to contact and phone the USPS to voice my concerns, but have yet to hear from them. I have searched the web site and been able to find only some vague numbers to call which have led me no where. I seem to be unable to even have a voice in this matter, though I admit to being cynical enough to know their response: it's so expensive now, we're just trying to save money.

This isn't the city where there are many places to ship and mail. This is extremely vital to my business and the community, and these cuts are only the beginning, you can be sure. We all have no doubt that in a year or two, there will be further cuts in hours due to "lack of revenue" and that we will soon be nothing more than a few P.O. boxes and a blue postal drop, which does nothing for people relying upon the USPS to ship out product to the world.

Please, can you somehow address this issue? I have written to you in the past and received a letter that was filled with policy points and what President Bush has done wrong and how it affected whatever matter I wrote about, but that really had no effect on anything. I appreciate the time, but I'm not looking for that kind of political response in this matter.

I understand that ___________ likely won't read this email, or that an assistant will write the response. If nothing else, could you please provide me with names and contact information so that I can become an extreme annoyance for whoever thinks this is the way to solve the USPS budget issues?

You may contact me if you have further questions. This is a matter of concern for me.

Yesterday I received a letter from North Dakota Senator Kent Conrad's office in response to my rant about the USPS and what they are doing to small post offices in North Dakota:

Dear Julie:

Thank you for contacting me about the postal service in and around Hampden, North Dakota. I appreciate your bringing this matter to my attention.

I have written to United States Postal Service (USPS) on your behalf and asked for a review of your concerns. As soon as I have a response, I'll see that you are notified.

In the meantime, please let me know if I may offer further assistance on this or any other matter.

I also finally received an email from the USPS, which I have little faith in, but will continue to be a thorn in their side:

Dear JULIE NEIDLINGER,

Thank you for contacting us about the hours at your local postal facility.

I have documented your suggestion and forwarded it to the best person who can respond to it. If you need to contact me again regarding this issue, please refer to the following confirmation number, XXXXXXXXXX.

If I can be of assistance to you in the future, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Thank you for choosing the United States Postal ServiceÂ®.

Regards

The USPS has a nice form email, don't they? I've already gone and started a UPS account online, and am looking into shipping through them via package pickup, which will really bump my shipping costs up, which makes me not happy. But, at least, they have service that you can track and not leave you and your customer wondering where on the planet and in what vacuous post office a painting is sitting, not delivered. I obviously need to consider alternative shipping methods. As you know, if you don't live in an urban area, you don't matter much when it comes to being efficient and cost-effective. Those are numbers games, after all, and the numbers aren't here.

(Sorry Jim. Nothing personal. I worked for the Postal Service for a few years, too.)

--------------------------------------

UPDATE, 12/15/2007: Though I have yet to hear anything from Rep. Pomeroy or Sen. Dorgan, I have received another letter from Sen. Conrad's office, with a copy of a letter he received from the USPS enclosed.

Conrad's letter:

12/10/2007

Dear Julie:

I received the enclosed update from the United States Posxtal Service as a result of my inquiry on your behalf regarding your concern for the postal service in and around Hampden, North Dakota.

As you can see, the correspondence from the District Manager states, "My staff is investigating the issue and a response will be sent to you as soon as possible." I will let you know as soon as I receive a reply.

In the meantime, please contact me if I may offer further assistance on this matter.

Enclosed USPS letter in Conrad letter:

12/6/2007

Dear Senator Conrad:

I recieved your correspondence dated November 29, 2007, on behalf of Ms. Julie Neidlinger, Hampden, North Dakota, concerning the services at the Hampden Post Office. I appreciate your bringing this matter to my attention. My staff is investigating the issue and a response will be sent to you as soon as possible.

Please do not hesitate to contact me in the interim if you have any additional concerns.

USPS letter mailed directly to me:

12/12/2007

Dear Ms. Neidlinger:

As the postal manager responsible for post offices in your area, I apologize for taking so long to respond to the concerns you expressed in an email on November 26, 2007.

As you may be aware, the hours of the Hampden Post Office were reduced after a periodic review of the services and workload. Please be assured that this was implemented after a thorough operational review which included the mail arrival time, the revenue, the number of customers served, and the dispatch time. We found the mail arrives an hour and a half after the office opened in the morning, and the evaluated workload in the office on an average weekday is only about 2 and a half hours. On Saturdays, only a little more than an hour is needed to provide services to the current 55 PO Box customers and 18 route customers.

In order to continue to provide effective and efficient service of value, we need to consider hours of service that allow us to more effectively use our resources. An alternative resource available today is using our services through the internet at www.usps.com, which may be helpful to you. This allows our rural delivery carriers to provide a "Post Office on Wheels" level of service and can eliminate or reduce trips to the Post Office.

Rural delivery is particularly beneficial to senior citizens, people with disabilities, and working people because no one has to pick up the mail from the post office. You will have 24-hour access to your mail. In addition, the rural carrier can provide all the retail services provided at the Hampden Post Office. Most transactions do not require meeting a carrier at the mailbox. Stamps By Mail Order envelopes and Money Order Application forms are available for your convenience; or you may place a note in the mailbox, with payment, and the carrier will provide the requested services. You may also buy stamps and pay for postage on packages by using the internet at www.usps.com. When an accountable item requiring a signature, such as a certified letter, cannot be delivered on the first day, the carrier will return the item to the Hampden Post Office. You may pick up the article at the Hampden Post Office, request redelivery on another day convenient to you, or authorize the carrier to deliver the item to another person or address.

The reduction in hours was determined with the mutual agreement of the current Officer in Charge at the Hampden Post Office. When she is not available, we are required to pay mileage to another trained Postmaster Replacement to serve the office. This is acceptable for limited times and exceptional circumstances, but not an any expense.

I hope this addresses some of your concerns and provides some understanding of the reasons behind the change in hours. We do appreciate your business and hope you will find a new and acceptable way to continue that business with us. Please let me know if you have any questions about our alternate means of access through the internet or your carrier.

I also received a letter from the USPS, with an attached sheet on how to utilized postal services via the internet or mail (which is ironic, if you truly think about it).

I responded as follows:

Thank you for your letter. I received it today.

You recommend utilizing a carrier for services that I am unable to access because of the altered Post Office hours. I want to point out that many of us who have P.O. boxes do not do so on a whim, but because the carrier service up here is also severely reduced so that the carrier actually doesn't come near our house. Our mail box would be miles down the road, on the highway, meaning that it is not only unrealistic to expect me to mail out art and other products by propping them out along a highway unprotected, but that it is also another area in which the Postal Service has neglected the rural areas. If this is the Postal Services answer to reduced hours at the local post office, I would like you to consider addressing the carrier issue so that I can utilize a carrier in the way you suggest. As it is now, this is not an option.

I will continue to contact my Congressman until I have some sort of resolution, though I suspect -- as I expected in your letter -- that the continued answer will be a polite "sorry, but we can't help you because we don't deem the rural areas as helping our bottom line." I will also continue to follow this issue on my blog, so that others can see what is happening to rural areas in regards to the continuing depletion of postal service in an age of ever-increasing postal fees.

This is incredibly disappointing. No doubt the local Postmaster agreed to the new hours, since there was likely no other option, save her losing her job or a fear of the Postal Service finding an excuse to close the office in its entirety.

Please respond regarding your suggestions as to how I should use a carrier who doesn't come anywhere near our farm.

Thank you for your time.

You will note that number of customers served and revenue -- as I predicted -- were used to account for these "periodic" and "thorough" adjustments. Never mind that these adjustments -- AS I HAVE ALREADY POINTED OUT -- will continue to reduce those numbers and no doubt cause further "adjustments" in the future after a "thorough" review. There would no doubt be an increase in route customers if there were much of a route that was offered. Since our mailbox is almost as good as going to town, there really is no reduction in any "trip to the post office" utilizing what passes as a "carrier service" out here. It is entirely unfeasible for me to put a big ole' boxed painting or other art item out on the busy highway miles down the road where the carrier route is to have it blown away, driven over, stolen, or shot up. Because really, I'd like to see a handicapped guy hop in his wheelchair and wheel a couple of miles down the gravel road -- in winter, for extra fun! -- to his "convenient" 24-hour mail box with it's fabled excellent "carrier" "service."

There is also more happening at a post office than merely the arrival and dispersal of mail, apparently a weighted factor on determining when it was necessary to open and close the post office. The arrival and dispersal of mail was never the issue, and since I can get my PO mail any time already, the "24-hour service" provided by a carrier is a moot point. It is the matter of sending, which has nothing to do with when the mail arrives but rather when the post office is open and manned by a human being, which is the problem that I noted in my earlier queries.

I am a little more than incredulous that it was suggested to me that I might find the internet resources helpful, as if I hadn't already considered those options seeing as how part of my correspondence clearly indicated I was selling on the internet and therefore, it could be assumed, familiarity with what is available to help my business on the internet is already part of my knowledge base prior to launching my emails and letters of complaint.

In other words, this letter was a non-answer. As I expected. As of now, I'm leaving off the names of the people sending the letters, but when (not if, but when) I get really irritated at the inevitable non-resolution, I think I'll offer them up to the Google gods like I did with Dell and Blue Cross Blue Shield.

As I see it, the following responses are the only ones I will find acceptable:

We will keep the post office hours as is, but expand carrier service so that people who must now rely upon carrier pick-up, etc. can actually do that. We will return to the longer post office hours and keep the "carrier service" as scant as it already is. We will admit that rural areas are going to keep getting the shaft and eventually have next to nothing for postal service, all in the name of "efficient use of resources" which is code for "we manage our system so badly and overpay on a hierarchy system that we are considering dropping the word 'service' from our name." All this has the exciting potential for reversing the historic Rural Free Delivery (RFD) service of the late 1800's and returning the people in rural areas into a vacuum of postal nothingness. Welcome to the new, modern age! It'll be pre-nineteenth century!!!!

I emailed Sen. Conrad's office:

I have received two letters from you, and a subsequent one from the USPS, over the local postal service. I thank you for your reply.

As I noted, I did receive a letter from the USPS -- from a representative of the USPS in Grand Forks -- in response to my concerns over the cut in postal service hours.

She recommended people like me utilize carrier services. Unfortunately, the Postal Service has long seen fit to be efficient in this area much earlier, and our carrier "service" would be delivery to a mailbox miles down the road on a busy highway. This is entirely ridiculous, to think that I'm going to be dropping off my internet art orders in the ditch along a busy highway a few miles from my house and assume they are not going to blow away, end up on the highway, get taken, rained on, buried in snow, or burned during the fall when the farmers burn everything.

The letter I received, though polite, was full of nothing. No answer, no addressing the real issues, no promise or indication of trying to meet the needs of the customer. This is the United States Postal Service -- government, in a sense -- that isn't terribly interested in doing anything but highlighting the bottom line. There is no service in the bottom line, though that word is part of their name.

I have a blog and web site which gets fair readership -- one of the older blogs in the state of North Dakota. I have put all correspondence regarding this matter on it, and I would appreciate it if you could review the response I received from the USPS representative, and my response back.

Here is the link: http://www.loneprairie.net/lp_blog/2007/12/going-postal.html

I noted the carrier issue and that, if that was indeed the only solution the USPS would offer, they would need to then expand carrier service. Please contact them again on this issue on my behalf. Their answer is expected, I admit, but still leaves people like me, who are trying to run an internet business out of rural locations in North Dakota, with ever-lessening options.

Please respond back to me regarding this matter.

Thank you for your time.

I am sending helpful "reminder" emails to Rep. Pomeroy and Sen. Dorgan, busy politicians, no doubt, until I get some kind of answer.

UPDATE, 12/21/2007: I have received a letter from Senator Conrad, which contained a letter from Clem Felchle, USPS Dakotas District M