Julie R. Neidlinger: Lone Prairie Art Works (via Mowser)

You can follow the summer's blog posts here.
You can read my experiences trying to learn to fly, which is here.

Neat hobby.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 4 comments link this post

So Tom Cruise's 13-year-old son Connor is taking flying lessons.

More than anything, I'm annoyed that:

I know this. That I had to shuffle through websites named things like "celebrity babies" and "tomkat crazy!" to find this out. I'm even annoyed.

When I was 13, I was busy slamming doors and being angry with my mother. Late bloomer, I guess.

Someone left a comment on one of the web sites I visited, saying that flying was sure a "neat hobby."

For some reason, I wanted to hit this person. I don't know why.

[image]

Labels: celebrities

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Different norms.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

The quote of the day comes from Warren Buffett, who said that factories in China have different norms for working conditions than those in the U.S., and he won't "tell the world how to run" their businesses.

That's one way to put it.

If you're the world's richest man, you gotta find some way to live with yourself.

[image]

Labels: celebrities, culture, current events

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

George Taylor leaves the planet.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

I was a bit saddened by the death of Charlton Heston. I guess, if you are an evolutionist, you could say he finally got off this Planet of the Apes.

The length of his marriage (64 years) to his wife Lydia was a testament to something rare not just in Hollywood but in general. It was always a bit distressing to constantly hear him being only associated with guns and the National Rifle Association (NRA), as if that were the only legacy he had and that anything prior -- such as his civil rights efforts -- were negated. Granted, he switched from supporting gun control to the polar opposite and was against affirmative action later in life. I don't find these in conflict, but evidence of a person naturally changing opinion in life. Regardless, he was a guy who wasn't afraid to speak his mind, whether it was on abortion or the fact that George Clooney is truly a damn, dirty ape.*

Um, and also, he was one of those guys who was drop-dead good-looking no matter what age. My gosh.

My sister wondered if they were finally able to pry the gun out of his cold, dead hands.

I said she was disrespectful. And probably not the first to make the joke.

[image]

* He did not actually say that about Clooney when he responded to Clooney, who had said he deserved Alzheimer's because of his work with the NRA. Heston's response was much more tactful. But I say Clooney is an ape.

Labels: celebrities

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Heath Ledger.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

Well, what to say?

A little girl lost her dad. Family and friends are crushed. That is where the real pain is. Prayers for people experiencing that are always called for, celebrity or not.

I obviously didn't know Heath Ledger and, beyond finding him good-looking and intriguing and enjoying some of his movies, I really don't have anything to say about his death. I didn't have anything to say when Anna Nicole, Steve Irwin, Brad Renfro, or any other such celebrity died, either.

Certainly, when someone dies who has become part of your existence -- in the case of celebrities, they become part of your pantheon of entertainment gods who exist out of regular thought but are supposed to stay there and not die -- it's a shock.

Death is daily dealt out to all people of all ages of all nationalities and of all economic position. Just because we don't know they exist, as opposed to being aware of celebrities, doesn't make it any less tragic. We just can't react to the tragedy because we don't know their story. It's not a judgment call on us being hard-hearted; we can't react to what we don't know about.

So, when I read the discussion found on this post, I kind of wonder what the point is. The discussion in the comments section on certain celebrities who live a lifestyle (Spears, Ritchie, Hilton, et. al.) that would make the news of their death unsurprising or even deserving seems odd from a Christian web site and (I assume) readers who identify with the Christian faith. Christians, after all, have a faith which includes a key component of not getting what we deserve (thank you, Jesus) and, of all people, ought not even mildly revel in the idea of who deserves what nor act surprised when death comes down the pipe.

I did leave a comment, essentially saying that we don't know all the details and that the main story here was that Heath Ledger is dead, and we are not. So, thank God for the grace of another day of life. Whether Ledger's death was accidental or on purpose doesn't change that premise.

Today, you are alive. Tomorrow, you might not be. Why did God allow you breath for another day? It's not because you're good enough, and that, when you slip up, you're dead. It's because of His grace.

Don't waste it.

[image]

Labels: celebrities, religion

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

There are actually two "Dakotas."

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

Ozzy Osbourne Sucks in the Criminals

" Ozzy Osbourne is furious with a Dakota sheriff for using his name in a sting operation to catch wanted criminals. (blah blah blah)"

That would be North Dakota.

[image]

Labels: celebrities, north dakota

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

A wrinkle in time.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

First Pavarotti, and now Madeleine L'Engle.

Gee.

I really loved her writing, both when I was a kid and when I got older. Her book Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art is one of those books I've read and re-read. So much gold in there...

Although L'Engle was often labeled a children's author, she disliked that classification. In a 1993 Associated Press interview, she said she did not write down to children.

"In my dreams, I never have an age," she said. "I never write for any age group in mind. When people do, they tend to be tolerant and condescending and they don't write as well as they can write.

"When you underestimate your audience, you're cutting yourself off from your best work."

She made me feel good about being a reader. She'll be missed.

[image]

Labels: books, celebrities

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Only two tenors now.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

I'm going to miss Pavarotti.

The man could sing.

I will now put in one of my opera CDs and enjoy his gorgeous voice.

[image]

Labels: celebrities, music

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

My Global Warming statement of faith.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 6 comments link this post

I believe there is a globe. I believe there are areas of the globe that can get fairly warm. I believe more money, resources, and fossil fuel energy have been expended on educating the entire globe on its demise than can ever be recouped by the newly educated changing their lives. I believe most people show up to a global warming event to buy T-shirts and to see a celebrity. I believe the very nature of a celebrity lifestyle negates any attempt at them having anything but a negative effect on global warming, since they waste more energy and resources per-person than the normal bad rest of us. I believe the Golden Globe awards are a waste, too. I feel bad for the polar bears, too. I believe a couple of hundred years of data for a likely old globe is akin to pricking your finger to determine what ails ye. I believe people should speak using phrases like "ails ye" because it sounds like a pirate. Pirates, and pirate-themed stuff, are hot right now. Which brings us right back to global warming. It's a vicious circle, like the globe itself.
I believe there is a globe...

Labels: celebrities, current events, lists

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Formaldehyde.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 4 comments link this post

I saw the third installment of The Pirates of the Caribbean yesterday.

I'd forgotten that Keith Richards was in it.

Keith Richards is a lot of things.

Well-preserved, for one. Like beef jerky. Or the Iceman.

[image]

Labels: celebrities, movies

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Celebrating Earth Day.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 5 comments link this post

I celebrated Earth Day yesterday by drinking a cup of organic green tea in a Styrofoam cup during Sunday School, and then throwing the cup away in the garbage. The plastic garbage can was lined with a plastic bag.

Sheryl Crow thinks we ought to use less toilet paper and wear clothes with attachable cloth napkins. I already own such clothes; they're called "sleeves." I was also born with something called "the back of my hand" which also works well. Sheryl Crow is a good singer and her CD's come encased in plastic wrap, a plastic sticker, a plastic case, and then the plastic disc itself. There are also paper inserts not printed with soy ink.

In honor of the religious holiday that is Earth Day, I have created downloadable PDF certificates that you can use at your leisure. I shouldn't be the only one making big bucks and handing out carbon offset offsets. No.

I'm all about equal opportunity.

I give you: Official Certificate Denoting a Real Carbon Offset Offset.

These certificates can be used to:

infuriate make money off of guilt-ridden dupes get you in trouble at work by displaying them handing them out to people who are seriously wasteful in their living and really, truly deserve this waste paper and printer ink

I'm also considering a new kind of rural economic development which would involve taking money from guilty people who live in cities and feel guilty about that, and using it to buy trees, using it to promise not to plant, etc. Sure, there are government programs. But why not set our own rules and high prices?

Guilt relief isn't cheap.

Yes, I'm considering accepting money from people and using it to buy trees to plant around our missile site. I mean, if it makes them feel better and helps me find a way to fund trees, I don't see why not. Global warming: it'll pay for the trees yet.

UPDATE: Via email, I was made aware of another site that you may be interested in: Free Carbon Offsets

| Why, Julie, why? you ask. Why? Because people who live in huge houses and own many houses and travel around the country and world on private jets and buses and waste money and resources on luxury items and extravagant lifestyles and consume more than the average person that they are browbeating into using less toilet paper and give mouth service to a life style that they don't adhere to themselves and feel guilty and try to alleviate the guilt by throwing money around and dumping guilt off onto others should shut up Al Gore. |
[image]

Labels: celebrities, current events, humor

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

The new Tetzel.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

Coldplay's Christ Martin is the new Johann Tetzel. He advocates carbon offsets to an extreme, which are nothing more than indulgences for the environmentalist who is both religious in green beliefs as well as gullible.

The only way to really point out the silliness of carbon offsets is to point out the silliness of the concept of behaving contrary to belief and expecting money to do your work. And I can't say it any better than Lore SjÃ¶berg at Wired, whose article "Ugly? Stupid? A Jerk? Relax, Your Worries Are Over" mocks the concept perfectly.

According to SjÃ¶berg, you can be ugly and offset it with money that goes to:

"[...] beauty college scholarships and research into moisturizing creams -- after taking our cut, of course -- thereby making you, economically speaking, so damn sexy."

According to SjÃ¶berg, you can be a jerk and offset it with money that will:

"[...] perform random acts of market-driven kindness. Then the next time a pedestrian tries to cross the street right in front of your Beemer, you can yell at them, make up new sex acts for them to try out on pets and family members, throw your half-empty Starbucks cup right at their head, and then explain that you've fully offset your antisocial acts and, in the big picture, you've basically just bought them an ice cream cone and knitted them a hat."

According to SjÃ¶berg, you can be stupid and offset it with money:

"[...] which we'll spend on scholarships and trivia quizzes. We'll send you a card with your offset IQ -- at current rates only $5,000 will bring you up to Hawking level -- and a free membership in Mensa."

Carbon offsets are bulls**t. Which, ironically, is a by-product of one of the current leaders in air pollution: cows.

Martin, and the other Tetzels, may want to purchase some SPF 60. This can be applied to both the skin and to whichever part of the "indulgences/global warming" metaphor seems most necessary.

Hat Tip: Rob.

[image]

Labels: celebrities, current events

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Charlize Theron is an idiot.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

It's starting to become a regular thing on this blog. Remember Gwyneth?

Rob at Say Anything brought my attention to this video clip of Theron forcibly shoving her carefully pedicured foot into her red-lipped mouth. He wonders if she's a stupid actress or Communist apologist.

My first bet is on stupid, and my second bet is that she has one of those Che Guevara shirts in her closet.

According to Theron, who is making a movie about rappers in Cuba, the oppression in Cuba is equal to the oppression in the United States. Twice she used the example of people losing their jobs in television because of comments they made about the war in Iraq. I wonder if Theron delineates the difference between losing a private sector job and actual government-mandated oppression forcing job-loss. From the video clip, it doesn't look like it.

And then, when the questioning gets uncomfortable and the actual director of the film starts to look constipated as the conversation between Theron and the newscaster drifts from the actual film's subject matter into something she has no clue about, Theron tells the reporter she wants to make out with him.

Good save, Aeon Flux, good save.

What I've said about other celebrities I'll say to Theron: you make a living pretending to be other people. The end.

[image]

Labels: celebrities

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

The list grows.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

Remember the list?

Let's just add Paul Blackthorne to it.

[image]

Labels: celebrities, lists

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

The hills are dead.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

At work today I overheard two teenage girls talking about "Wind It Up", Gwen Stefani's latest song (and I use the word "song" loosely). I've suffered through hearing Ms. Stefani's song and I admit that I miss her old No Doubt days, the glory days when I was in college when she didn't want us to speak because she already knew what we were going to say.

Now, every song is an advertisement for her fashion line L.A.M.B. The lyrics make no sense. The videos even less. The hair inevitably hideous. At least the creepy harajuku girls are gone.

Anyway, these two girls were talking about "Wind It Up" and had I not been wearing irritable contact lenses, I would have rolled my eyes.

"I just love that song!"

"I know! I love that music she samples in the background. What is it? Where's it from? It's hot!"

Good grief. Has The Sound of Music become the latest "oldster test"? That is, have I crossed the next line towards oblivion because I know that the music sampled (and trampled) in Stefani's latest is "The Lonely Goatherd" and know from whence it comes?

I wonder if Stefani realizes that most of her fans don't even get the visual references she was making in her "Wind It Up" video. Typical.

If you know that "mi" is a name I call myself, you're old. If you can hum "Edelweiss", start planning your funeral. If raindrops on roses and brown paper packages tied up in string are a few of your favorite things, just hop in the casket.

I'd actually kill for a little sound of music. Instead we get tortured bongo drums and visions of a bleach-blonde nun in knickers and 70's sunglasses.

[image]

Labels: celebrities, music

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Gwyneth Paltrow is an idiot.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 5 comments link this post

Wary of turning this into a fluff blog, more than it already is, I try not to post on celebrity gossip garbage. I've reached the living end with Mrs. Coldplay, however.

Mrs. Martin has a prejudice against Americans, helping to support my earlier assertation that everyone has a prejudice lurking in them. Mrs. Shakespeare-in-Love's faux English intelligence has grated on my nerves for years, finally snapping them today.

Let's have a look.

The final straw is her most recent statement that British people are more intelligent than Americans. In her case, this may be true. For example, the British people I saw wasted in the German pub in Hamburg, the ones in dire need of deodorant and hollering obscenities at a TV during a soccer match, really are more intelligent than Mrs. Sky Captain, an American herself.

Oscar-winning US actress Gwyneth Paltrow feels dinner talk is far more interesting in her adopted homeland Britain than back in her native country.

"I love the English lifestyle, it's not as capitalistic as America. People don't talk about work and money, they talk about interesting things at dinner."

When we eat dinner, like 98 percent of the rest of America, we don't talk much. We just belch. Every once in a while, between masticating and belching, we discuss the Chicago Bears. That's football, right?

"I like living here because I don't fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans," the 34-year-old added.

Could one of you other stupid Americans explain the first sentence of her quote? I can't make sense of it. I really can't. How does one fit into any side of some purported nationalized psychology?

Perhaps if Mrs. Headless Seven hung around all dregs of American and English society, she'd see a comparable equality. Not everyone in Britain attends Oxford and wears an ascot. There are plenty of skeezy skanks of all shapes, sizes, ages and genders. She just hasn't invited any of them to her paper-slipper, rice cakes and Sylvia Plath parties yet.

After the bombings of the Tube in London, Mrs. Emma Woodhouse complimented the British on their resilience and compared them favorably to what she deemed was the over-reaction of Americans when the World Trade Center was bombed.

"I find the English amazing how they got over 7/7. There were no multiple memorials with people sobbing as they would have been in America. There, they are constantly scaring people but at the same time, people think nothing of going to see a therapist."

Yes, the two incidents are eminently comparable, both in magnitude, target, visibility and death toll. And speaking of slobbering over worthy national events, how about the freak-out and cheesy Elton John song for a pampered princess who did little more than starve herself and look good in a skirt? Mother Teresa died the same time, and the nation of Britain agonized, cried on TV, and bought nearly all the flowers available to the free world to lay in front of a gate for Princess Di. There's a country of kahunas and rationality if I've ever seen one.

This isn't the first time she's shoved her foot in her mouth and proven her own argument about select stupid Americans. After criticizing the weather in the UK she compensated by again emphasizing the intelligence and civilization across the pond. Not only is she making her country of birth hate her, but she's irritating the civilized locals. Mrs. Shallow Hal needs to stop talking and step away from the microphone.

Anyone woman who names her child after fruit is suspect. Any white woman from America who insults Americans while pretending to be British while also claiming to be African is suspect. Any woman who calls in the Kabbalah squad because she thinks her house is haunted is suspect. Any woman that intimidates Angelina Jolie is suspect.

I think I know who A Perfect Murder victim would be. Hush. Don't tell anyone of my Great Expectations.

(pause)

Yes, that last paragraph was a pretty bad use of puns and Mrs. Coldfish movie titles. What can you expect? I'm a stupid American.

UPDATE: Perhaps she's had a change of heart.

[image]

| tag: gwyneth paltrow |

Labels: celebrities

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

If there must be a list...

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 9 comments link this post

...here's mine, for what it's worth.

Ioan Gruffudd Hugh Jackman
Gary Sinise Liev Schreiber Tom Berenger Viggo Mortensen Ralph Fiennes Colin Firth Clive Owen Nathan Fillion Paul Blackthorne

Shallow? Oh yes. And in no particular order.

::And then there's Mark who earlier emailed me an asked if Wolverine and Mr. Fantastic got into a fight, who would win, not knowing I was working on this list as the email came in. Nice.::

[image]

Labels: celebrities, lists

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Gandalf/Magneto, I never knew ye.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

Ian McKellen is the actor who, when finding himself in a hotel room with a Bible, tears out the pages that have to do with homosexuality.

I don't know why he wastes his time doing that if he thinks the Bible is fiction. Imagine if I went around and tore out pages of fiction books that made me angry or uncomfortable or otherwise enraged. Just hand me a Dan Brown, Nicholas Sparks or Danielle Steele book and I'll get started.

[image]

| tag: ian mckellen |

Labels: celebrities, movies

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

He looked about the Starbuck's store nervously before leaning in towards his companion across the table. Taking another sip of his carmel macchiato, he whispered, "I'm so ashamed. I was flipping through the channels last night and somehow ended up on Walker, Texas Ranger."

His companion gasped. He continued.

"The really horrible thing is, I couldn't look away. I couldn't flip the channel. It sucked me right in! I watched the whole show!"

This was an actual conversation I heard at the Starbucks in Fargo, on 25th and 32nd while I waited for Molly and Lew to finish up at a meeting. I about laughed aloud as the two college guys, artfully casual and gelled to flippant perfection, let the awful reality of the story sink in.

Plebes.

Dad watches Walker every night, for two hours.

"Which episode is this?" I ask, being the jerk that I am. "Is this the one where the good guys win? Or is this the one where the bad guys get pounded? Or maybe it's the one where Walker saves the day?"

I then comment on how the show is so predictable.

"That's what I like about it," he replies, ignoring me as Walker and his sidekick do some sidekicks.

When I sit in the other room and don't see what's happening on TV, all I hear are pickup trucks and lots of "oof" and "ow" and "thunk" and so forth, kind of like the 1960s Batman without the "Pow!" comic translations of the action.

Tony Bender recently had a funny column in the paper a few weeks back about that "Facts about Chuck Norris" thing that has been floating about the internet for a long time. Of course, they're anything but facts. Norris has become the synonym for, well, uh...Chuck Norris.

Here's another place to catch some "facts" but I warn you that they're not all squeaky clean in language: Top 100 Facts About Chuck Norris

Want to see Chuck Norris read his own facts? You got it.

[image]

| tag: chuck norris |

Labels: celebrities

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Katie Couric, the anchor of S.S. Cuteness.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

What's with all the hoopla surrounding giggling Katie Couric as the news anchor for CBS?

There's been another woman doing a superb, professional job of anchoring the nightly news over at ABC since Jennings died: Elizabeth Vargas. So she's not the "official" anchor, I guess, but she does it almost all the time. Especially since the other guy got hurt in Iraq. So she doesn't get $12 million dollars, $11 million of that to cover mascara supplies - so? She's a woman. She's been anchoring. She is excellent.

Yet no parade.

[image]

| tag: couric |

Labels: celebrities

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Jamie Foxx is still Ugly Wanda.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 3 comments link this post

I can't help it.

I know actor Jamie Foxx has won an Oscar, wowed the world with his acting and music abilities, put out a skank-fest CD of luuuuuve grooves and has everyone all a flutter... but I still think of him as Wanda off of "In Living Color."

I loved that show in college. Homey de Clown. Fire Marshall Bill. Wanda.

Wanda. Jamie is still Ugly Wanda.

Or that creepy coach guy.

Does anyone else out there have this problem every time you see Foxx? No matter how serious the photo, the article, the cover of the magazine, I think, "Hey, it's Wanda." And I wait for him to make his mouth all weird and start hitting on Damon Wayans.

[image]

Labels: celebrities

SECTIONS

About

Contact

Breaking News!

Events

Press

Sales & Specials

TODAYS HEADLINES

BLOGROLL

Neat hobby.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Different norms.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

George Taylor leaves the planet.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Heath Ledger.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

There are actually two "Dakotas."

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

A wrinkle in time.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Only two tenors now.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

My Global Warming statement of faith.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Formaldehyde.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Celebrating Earth Day.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

The new Tetzel.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Charlize Theron is an idiot.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

The list grows.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

The hills are dead.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Gwyneth Paltrow is an idiot.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

If there must be a list...

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Gandalf/Magneto, I never knew ye.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Katie Couric, the anchor of S.S. Cuteness.

Like this post? Subscribe to the feed. Click here to help support this site.

Jamie Foxx is still Ugly Wanda.