Want to Waste Money? Get Married!

Posted:Abigail Andrews - Saturday, March 15th, 2008 at 10:29 am.

The Escalating Cost of Marriage

As house prices reach record levels and the cost of living is also rising dramatically, I wonder how people are really able to afford to spend, on average, £17000 on a wedding? Have we really got our priorities right when many choose to get into thousands of pounds of debt for their big day before they have even walked down the aisle? I do not want to offend anyone who is looking forward to their wedding day, I have friends who have dreamed of nothing more than the day they walk down the aisle looking beautiful with all eyes on them. My question however has to be, how many people can truly afford to be paying so much for their wedding?

Ask yourself this, particularly if you are planning your wedding right now; when was the last time you spent £2000 or more, an hour, for anything? £2000 an hour, yes, that's roughly what you would be spending an hour if your wedding cost £17000. Scary isn't it, with most weddings not going to plan, and most brides and grooms being so nervous they can't even remember the day, I really wonder whether its worth the expense. Furthermore, I find this extraordinary in that the chances are that a wedding will end in failure.

So why have weddings become so expensive?

Well, prefix just about any word with the word "wedding" and you can add at least 50% to the normal price. Try it: Flowers, Food, Dress, Shoes, Suit, Hair, Make-up, Photos. Shocking isn't it, but its true. Is it just me or are people being "had", taken for all they are worth by unscrupulous thieves masquerading as wedding businesses and providers of wedding services? Weddings were once about love, they have now become so commercialized people will pay silly money just to impress friends and family, whether they can afford it or not.

Before you go spending on your BIG day take a look at this list taken from www.weddingguideuk.com where they have listed the costs of what they would call an 'average wedding'' (excluding engagements costs):

It's appears that it is now socially sanctioned to spend a lot of money on your wedding day. I wonder, in times of an economic downturn, the upward trend in the cost of a wedding has to start falling? I don't understand why, when average house prices are at record levels and the cost of living is going up, the average cost of a wedding is still rising? Where are people getting there money from? They complain they can't get a mortgage for a house, but will think nothing of spending 20k on getting married?

I know it's easy to be judgemental and you really can't put a price on a couple's desire for a certain kind of event or their enjoyment of it. Only they, ultimately, can say whether it was worth it or not. But, please, how many of those lavish weddings are truly afforded by the people who have them? If a couple can truly afford a lavish wedding, then I say bring it on. I know one of my friends is marrying soon and they can truly afford to pay what they are paying for the whole event. Its the people who don't yet have their finances secured, or who are getting massive loans to pay for a wedding just to impress, that make me wonder! I mean starting your first days of married bliss, with massive debt, caused by your big day, is hardly the basis of a long lasting relationship is it?!

Don't get me started on Hen and Stag do's!

We can just about accept wedding costs rising in price. I mean if a couple wants to get themselves into gross amounts of debt before their marriage has even started then that is entirely up to them. What I do draw the line at is the recent trend of spending thousands of pounds on hen and stag do's!

As stated on BBC news, Stag and hen nights are now costing Britons £532m a year according to new research. Instead of a few drinks to celebrate their forthcoming nuptials, many are enjoying weekends away in increasingly exotic destinations, without a second thought for the pockets of their friends and family who they invite. I mean not only are bridezillas and their gullible grooms spending so much of their own money they are now spending ours for us, and furthermore falling out with people who either cant afford to spend it on their whim or simply don't want to!

Marriage abroad saves you but not your guests!

I think it's a sensible option to go abroad and get married, ultimately it can save the couple and their family money and you are “usually†guaranteed sunshine on your big day, BUT, keep to the point. Getting married abroad used to be about escaping from all the wedding hassles and family politics, and romantic seclusion. It seems these days that many couples still want their family and friends there to witness their big day - they just want to cart them half-way around the world to do so!

Whatsmore, spare a thought for the poor guests invited along to celebrate those sun-kissed nuptials. While the happy couple will be getting a bargain wedding, the guests will be forking out big-time! Talk about passing on the expense of your BIG wedding ideas to your friends and family. Just make sure you are marrying the right person, and will stay with them for life, or you may find SOME people slightly annoyed when you get divorced 2 years later, and they are still paying the loan they took out to afford to attend your wedding!

A House or a Wedding? Your Choice

What on earth are we coming to when the average couple thinks a big wedding is more important than a big deposit on their first house. Isn't this absurd? What has spending gross amounts of money got to do with the celebration of two people's love? Yet increasingly it is all about how much a couple can spend on their big day. People throw the biggest tantrums, to get what they want on their wedding day, the best flowers, the most expensive venue, the most unique dress! Ultimately, there is only one thing any one should want on their wedding day and that is a person who loves you and wants to take care of you and friends and family who approve of your relationship. Isn't it about time that we started thinking about the real purpose of marriage and therefore saving ourselves, our families, our friends and possibly our children a fortune?!?

Who do we blame for the rising cost of weddings?

Sorry to say but we can only blame ourselves. Businesses will adapt and develop to changing market needs. Companies are there to make money and will charge what they can in a market that is full of demand. It is purely our fault! We have a choice and we do not need to go down the route of having a very expensive wedding. Pressure by family and friends might be a factor, I mean we certainly live in a world of "beat the joneses", however, it is our choice if we choose to have a free bar, camaras and gestures on the tables, and expensive favours, nobody forces us to do it!

For love not money!

Finally, lets say a pray for those couples who still feel that a marriage is not a marriage and love is not love unless, the engagement ring costs £3K, the big day costs £17k, and the honeymoon costs £5k, as many of them will obviously have problems balancing their household finances for the next 10 years, and it is most likely there will be no money left in the pot to pay the solicitor for the eventual divorce on grounds of irresponsible spendingÂ.

For those of you who think I am unromantic, let me say, I'm too romantic to fall for a commercial deception, and too much a believer in real love to need to spend silly money to prove I love my husband and he loves me. Down with bridzillas, and gullible grooms, bring on the true romantics who realise what wedding days are truly about..........love not money!!!

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