First Draft

Who you callin' a bitch?

All the talk going around is that the McCain campaign didn't vet Palin because they're incompetent and full of fail. I bought into it for a minute too, after all, what other excuse could there be? You know, I've been at this five years and sometimes the sheer venality of it still takes my breath away. They didn't vet Palin not because they couldn't get it together to do so, but because they knew it wouldn't matter anyway.

Think about it. She's going around telling a bunch of bullshit lies about a jet and Ebay and earmarks and a bridge? Doesn't matter, just attack "the liberal media" and they'll shut right up, or even if they don't, people will be inclined to believe you and not the front pages. She's being investigated for illegally interfering in the operations of law enforcement? Doesn't matter, just get some Lesser Fuckstick on the phone to put out a nasty press release decrying the politics of one government official investigating another, with no sense of irony at all, because if you shock them into breathlessness, it's harder to formulate a response. All their problems are going to go away now, because this is how they do, and if this was the first time, I'd be more forgiving of myself for being caught off guard.

The thing is, it really pisses me off, because we should know better than this. I should have known better than this, and for the love of Christ the Democrats should have known better than this, to think they would have done anything else. For the last eight years at least all they've ever done is what they accuse us of doing: rampant spending, wild politically motivated illegal acts, unprovoked wars of nation-building gone horribly wrong, demeaning the troops, desecrating the flag, being ignorant as fuck about the country they purport to love (the Founding Fathers wrote the Pledge of Allegiance? Come on). The only things they're interested in accusing us of are the things they do themselves, and I should know better by now. So should the people who, you know, have actual positions in the party and don't just write about stuff that pisses them off on a web site.

It was completely predictable, that they would do this. It completely sucks, but it was predictable.

Schmucks.

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What is your earliest memory?

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Post away!

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Yes.

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Has anyone else noticed that all election season reporters have waited for "fact-checkers" to come out with lists of lies in political speeches? Example:

Because if all it takes is some Googling or a phone call or a records check, last I checked that kind of "fact-checking" was the realm of JOURNALISTS. Why are we relying on separate organizations to do this, and waiting on their reports? I thought the big networks sent hundreds of reporters to the conventions. Can't somebody have an intern look some shit up?

I know we're outsourcing and right-sizing in newsrooms these days, but this is ridiculous.

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Good Christ.

A fairly major point: The fact that it was supposed to have been Walter Reed Army Medical Center? That McCain would ACTUALLY have been speaking in front of a CGI backdrop of wounded veterans? Is fucking disgusting. Better that he win on the backs of some middle school kids than he electioneer in front of the place where his party's mendacity sent so many of our soldiers. If it really was a screwup, color me relieved.

As I say about so many stupid Republican tricks these days, the truth doesn't make it better, it makes it WORSE.

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Fall shedding season has begun. Puck is losing all his fur at once, poor thing, and Riot has started growing a new coat but just on his tail. They'll look raggedy for a couple of weeks and then be poofed out in no time.

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Don't let those coy looks fool you.  These are some tooth-chippers.

Say say, people in the Madison area.  Have some extra money laying around that you don't know what to do with?  Well, let me tell you.  First, hit the link for our tip jar.  Now that I'm through begging, there's something a lot more fun that I get to tell you about.

Guess what happens next month?

Derby in Dairyland, that's what!

Madison's own Mad Rollin' Dolls will be hosting the 2008 Women's Flat Track Derby Association Eastern Regional Tournament.  This three-day bonanza of ass-kicking goodness on wheels lasts from the tenth to the twelfth of October.  It'll be at the Alliant Energy Center, so buy a ticket!  Otherwise, I'm gonna send that goon squad in the picture above to come to your house and kick the crap out of you.  Come support the Dairyland Dolls, who will be skating against all-star teams from other cities in the Eastern US.

And I should disclose that I'm not getting paid anything for this.  The Dolls, like all WFTDA teams, are all-amateur.  Proceeds go to expenses and charities.  Let me tell you--this shit is awesome.  And the after parties are so kick-ass, they're actually illegal in 22 states and 3 territories.  You know, the lame-ass states and territories.

Here's what you're missing out on by not coming.

Dolls in action.

That blonde woman facing the camera?  That's Chop Suzzy.  She has a black belt in karate.  Buy a ticket, or she will whoop your ass.

Buy tickets.  Do it!  Like I said, I don't get any money from this, and neither do the skaters.  But many of them are my friends, and they love this shit.  So let's fill some seats!

You know you want one.

Oh, you know you do.  Instead of a harsh, buzzing alarm, you could wake up to the delicious smell of bacon.  This little box might just be the greatest thing ever invented.

Jeebus bless those nerds who dreamed it up.

Obama, St. Paul:

McCain, St. Paul:

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Now let's get back to business:

Video by Scout, who PWNS all things.

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Posts in the van belong to their authors, and not to Athenae, Jude, Scout or the guests. Don't feed the crackheads after midnight. Stay frosty.

Update: Van closed. Thanks to all 45 of you who piled in, ignored the smell and went along for the ride!

I heard some tired old dude was talking but I couldn't hear him over the kitten noises.

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No longer necessary for crazy right-wingers.

Well, they've started pulling out the big guns.  US Rep. Lynn Westmoreland (R-Klan) went and called Barack and Michelle Obama "uppity."

That's right.  In the words of a GOP Congressman, Obama is now officially an Uppity Negro.

They've already called him "Boy," and I think it's only a matter of time before somebody drops an n-bomb on a live mic.  Hopefully, there will be a public backlash, a la George Allen's "macaca" bullshit from 2006.

'Cause this shit is tired and played out.

Later in that bullshit article, we see this:

What the fuck?  Why not, as Aaron Neville admonishes us, tell it like it is:  The Republican Party is having a problem because it is full of, and caters to, a bunch of racist motherfuckers.  Oh, the poor, hate-filled babies.  They're not allowed their full range of vitriolic expression because, and this is a great thing, that shit doesn't actually play with the majority of the white folks in this country anymore.  It ain't 1908, bitches.  So they're having problems because they're out of touch with America.  Fine.  Fuck 'em.  When you're that out of touch, you deserve to lose elections, because you're not representing the people.

Thus endeth the motherfucking sermon.  Go in peace, brothers and sisters.

This is some important news:

To read the rest

Rudolf "Benito" Giuliani, undated file photo.

That's right, peoples.  In case you weren't aware, Giuliani's still an asshole.

An attention-whoring asshole, at that:

Emphasis mine.

Yeah.  What a shithead.  The RNC goons went out of their way to give him space to talk on TV, since he got cut on Monday.  And this is how he pays them back.  Look at me!  Look at me!

Tool.

The Quad on LSU's campus.

Morning, y'all...to be honest, I wish I could offer my .000002 cents worth on Sarah Palin's acceptance speech, the GOP hatefest in general, or even what I read or watched on tv last night. But instead, the cat and I did our best to not expend too much energy--you see, it's still a Louisiana summer, and, high ceilings or not, it's pretty hot and humid without fans or electricity.

And dear leader actually gets it, for once: "One of the key things that needs to happen is that they've got to get electricity up here in Louisiana," Bush said.

What genius, eh? Next thing you know, he'll suggest clearing debris from the road will assist in transportation and general commerce.

Interestingly, the visit itself was barely noted--maybe the media finally realized that the public's had quite enough of this creep.

But I digress--mostly, I wanted to note the rapidity with which the story--or perhaps I should say the narrative--of Gustav has disappeared from the national media's radar screen. And, from the looks of it, it seems to have disappeared because, well, it didn't follow the script.

No, New Orleans didn't drown--thank heavens--however, the floodwall along the Industrial Canal was overtopped...by surge from a Category 2 hurricane that missed the city (though NOLA was on the northeast, or bad, side of the storm, which definitely affected local conditions.) Once it became clear that New Orleans didn't drown, well...so much for what actually happened. Instead, the media skittered about looking for a new shiny object, which as best as I can tell is this week's GOP convention, back ON script following a Monday evening show of concern, which seemed to be more 'contractual obligation' in spirit than anything else.

I guess the show's over...for everyone else. But, for those who might be concerned, here are some examples (photos here, here, and here, stories here and here, plus don't forget First Draft's blogroll) of what we're dealing with in the aftermath of what was maybe not The Big One, but was the Plenty Big Enough One.

No, it's not as bad as what happened in 2005, but I'd like to think that underscores just how bad it WAS three years ago as opposed to how easy we've got it in 2008.

That said, and while, yeah, I'm carping a bit (c'mon, it's hot, humid, and there's no electricity) I nonetheless still take some comfort in the fact that this is still quite fleeting and temporary compared to what New Orleans went through and is still going through...or what Baghdad experiences daily thanks to George W. Bush's military intelligence. No, I don't have electricity (I'm posting from work, which has generator power, although the cooling is reserved for the equipment), but I've got my little house, which only lost a few roof shingles...I've still got food, and was able to obtain some ice. Maybe by the weekend things will return to a semblence of normal.

And I would've far more preferred carping about Sarah Palin's speech, to be honest...

The Pain Train's comin' for you, GOP!  Whoo whoo!

There's something I'm really, really hoping for tonight.

I hope that the football game runs long.  Really long.  So long that NBC has to cut away from it to show McCain's speech in Minnesota.

Will there be a repetition of the infamous Heidi incident?  Not in New York or DC, as NFL contracts now require that broadcasters show games to their conclusions in their home markets.  But what about the rest of the country?  Wouldn't it be great if NBC (the network, by the way, responsible for the aforementioned incident) cut away from the final few minutes of tonight's NFL season opener to cover Oldy McBoring's speech to the moribund GOP?  Wouldn't that be great?  Man, lots of people would be pissed at McCain!  In addition to the NBC switchboards being melted by overuse, the RNC would see a lot of heat, as well.  It's been a long year without football, as far as NFL fans are concerned, and they'd probably despise missing even a minute of the season opener.

Also, I'd be delighted because, no matter what happens, it's gonna piss off the NFL team owners.  They want McCain to win, for sure.  But they also want maximum exposure for their product, with no negative attention from cutting the broadcast short.  So, whenever NFL team owners are unhappy, I'm delighted.  NFL owners are some of the biggest shitheads in the country. 

Especially you, Tom Benson.  You dancin' douche.

So come on, Giants and Washington.  Play dirty.  Get lots of penalties.  Have a 20-minute brawl in the third quarter.  Dive like fuckin' soccer players, so that they have to bring out the cart to take your healthy, faking ass off the field.  And Jeebus, if you're listening, we'd appreciate some technical difficulties to delay the start of the game--satellite linkup problems or the like, alright?  Nothing that would cause any harm to people or their homes. 

It'll be great.

And it's the only thing they have:

This is in fact EXACTLY what they think. All of it. I knew the RNC this year would be a pessimistic shitfest that would give me flashbacks to 2004, when I and all my friends and most of my family were traitors who deserved to hang, but even I didn't think they'd be quite so blatant about what they're offering. They get that people are pissed, and what they're offering is someone to be pissed AT.

Liberals. People in cities and suburbs. Jews. Gays. Women. Young people. And most of all, anybody who has the temerity to NOT be catastrophically depressed and actually do something to get off his or her ass, because those people shame the frustrated and the apathetically angry and the directionlessly annoyed. Those people say to you, "Why aren't YOU doing more?" Those people put the responsibility for changing the world back on YOU, those people show you up for the couch-sitting, bitchface-making, Cheeto-eating dickhead you've become, and their example says to you, "YOU could be something amazing if you wanted to be." It shames them, and they feel it and don't know what to do with that feeling.

And what the GOP says back to them is, easier to stay where you are, and blame "cultural elites" (more on this later) and affirmative action and "the media" (one wonders if Fox News and the Washington Times are considered media, or something else, like pals) and community organizers who are intruding in your very special pain and solitude with their pesky insistence that you stop being such a selfish jackass and go pick up some litter or register voters. Easier to stay where you are, and vote for us because at least we'll tell you who you can be pissed at, and you barely have to move to be pissed. You barely have to do anything at all.

The reason I was freaking out last night during Palin's speech is that I know how seductive this is. Think of every time you've ever given up on something only to be sucked back in; whether it's the Cubs or the Democratic Party, isn't your first thought, "Oh, man, don't make me do this again, I'm just gonna get hurt." I know how seductive pessimism is; after all, you're never gonna be disappointed. I know how close it is to absolution: If it's all just one big stupid joke, then you don't have to feel bad about not participating.

But in the cold wet light of an early September morning, I have to believe that we are finally past this. That no matter what that drooling crowd of 150 people or so in Minneapolis thinks, we are finally realizing that even with someone to blame, what you end up with is ... someone to blame. That for the past eight years we've had blame aplenty, all kinds of directions offered for our anger, and the reasons for our anger are still there. That we're done with it, that we'd rather lift our voices in hope than in rage.

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Can somebody please get these people away from the Internet before they hurt themselves?

Who does this? Seriously, who in 20effing06 doesn't know that e-mails can be found and read by anyone ever? Also, I mean, I have a Yahoo account. But I'm a chick with a web site, not the GOVERNOR OF ALASKA. People of the great north state, can you not spring for an AOL account for her or something? A quality sockpuppet? Good Lord.

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Posts in the van belong to their posters. Not to any of us, unless they do belong to us.

Update: Van Closed! Thanks to all for stopping by!

What a truly epic crapfest that was. Between hating on the "liberal media" and "eastern elites" which we all know is code for Jews, they've basically proven they've got nothing left. Well, nothing but fetishizing small towns and wine-dine-sixty-nining America without hearing a damn word She says, to paraphrase Alanis Morisette, not that I do that lightly. Jesus Christ. For the FORMER MAYOR OF NEW YORK to talk about elites like they're other people just proves how morally bankrupt and embarrassing this party has become.

Since Sarah Palin didn't actually drool on herself or trip on the way to the podium tonight, I look forward to the wave of stories coming forward about how she exceeded expectations. One of the best lines of the night was Rudy Giuliani asking how dare we question her ability to be a mom and be VP. I say "best lines" because it was so splendidly divorced from reality as to hang there in the air like a Michael Jordan jump shot, impossibly perfect and suspended in nothingness.

Let me just say this for any of the media and cultural elites dropping by. This election cannot be about Sarah Palin being a nice person and a good mother. If we let them make it about that, about this stupid faux-scandal made-up bullshit, for the umpteenth time, we will lose the argument. So do not for one minute back down because you're afraid they'll make shit up about you. THEY ARE DOING IT RIGHT NOW ANYWAY. Make them eat that goddamn Koho, to put it in terms the hockey mom might understand. Hit 'em again, harder, harder.

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A week or so ago, one of A's weekend questions was about favorite movies.  Among my suggestions was Robert Altman's Nashville, which I think is a must for any political movie buff. The film has a huge cast of characters, their stories intertwining around a series of shared events.  Central to the film is the presidential primary campaign of the always-unseen candidate Hal Phillip Walker.

Ooopsy.

Peggy Noonan, Mike Murphy and Chuck Todd with mic live say what they really think of the choice of Palin:

UPDATE: TPM has the transcript here.

UPDATE: Compare and contrast to Noonan's WSJ column today

It's the only reason he sticks around:

And you know, I do get it in a pragmatic sense. The only way for a Democrat to get any face time during the first seven years of the Bush presidency was to diss his own party and praise the president, so that other TV commetators who felt guilty for falling for Bush's weasel show would be able to point to "even the liberal senator X" in order to justify how icky their skin felt after he slimed all over it. I do get that if you've got a message, and it's mostly "aren't I awesome?" then the only way to get that out there was to append "and other Democrats suck" on to the end of it.

But it's not 2002 anymore. Nor 2004 nor 2006. It's time to stop treating these people like it was ever okay for them to sell out their principles just to be able to make love to the microphones. Joe's not a proud Democrat. He's not, in fact, a proud anything, not anything at all.

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This is how I dress when I log on to Teh Interwebz.

So, here I am, poking around at the Crack Den, lookin' for something interesting.

You know, just being the virtual equivalent of an innocent bystander.  Then, I see the following:

Which, of course, is a good point, but did Atrios have to mention "Byron York," "Hair," and "nut" in the same sentence?  I'm gonna wake up screaming every night for a month.

Thanks, pal.

Quick!  To the BongCave!

Hey hey, peeps.

So, you all saw Athenae's post below about the bullshit goings on in Minneapolis.

Here's something you can do.

Remember: If you choose to call, keep it civil.  But don't take any shit, either.  Light up some switchboards, okay?

Brilliance from the Daily Show:

Republicans, I mean:

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Jesus H in a peanut butter pie.

Photo: Matt Rourke/AP

Hat tip: Doc.

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Romney sticks the fork in:

Damn, at least wait until the convention's over. Sheesh.

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