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Tuesday, October 07, 2008

What have nuns ever done for you? They proved that beer is healthy (9)

Monday, October 06, 2008

(Some Chick) Strange

Two vehicles heading in opposite directions collide in accident but never came in contact. They both hit a bull elk....cutting it in half (68)

Welcome to Baltimore, home of the $11,000 traffic ticket (40)

How to placate 74 terrified tourists stuck 500ft in the air: Unlock the vending machines (35)

Church welcomes dogs to services. Your dog wants to sleep in Sunday (31)

Not News dramatically redefined: Woman with bad hair to 'probably have haircut' next year sometime. Probably (76)

The first Mr Gay UK [not that there is anything wrong with that] ate a guy [there is something very wrong with that] (124)

Photoshop these kids hanging out with an Olympic gold medalist (49)

♪♪ Bra bra bra, bra bra bandit. Bra bra bra, bra bra bandit. Bra Bandiiiiiit, e-bay my C cup ♪♪ (62)

Artificial foreskin lets you keep your sensitivity AND the covenant of Abraham (w/pic) (187)

Good news: If you're over 75, you can stop getting those pesky colon cancer screenings (10)

Some people just want to spoil Halloween for the kiddies by giving out toys, stickers or pencils instead of candy. Egg sales to likely rise in retaliation (85)

He may be a mavrick, but "he's no Maverick," says patriarch of the orignal Maverick family. Adds, "now get off my lawn" (159)

College student sets dormitory fire, causes $10,000 damage, faces 90-month minimum sentence. Bonus: 31-year old dorm resident (49)

Roxey the tame barn owl found after four days in the wild. The whole story seems made for Disney, except for the leather strap bondage part. SAFWRD? (19)

The doom of Ham has been branded on the form and features of his African descendants. Fortunately the McCain Campaign has one man willing to show us the light of how dangerous a Black president would be. Lest we go against the word of god (153)

Report shows that female medical students aren't confident. Which is fine with men. "So.. you have an earache?" "Yes." "But you want me to give you a prostate exam..why?" "I just NEED one" (90)

(Some Chicken Little) Scary

Asteroid to impact Earth tonight over Northern Sudan. Well, that ought to solve that whole Darfur problem (150)

So the US was all like, "hey Taiwan, have this $6.5 billion of weapons," and they were all like "thanks bro" and it was all good until that China was like "you're totally not my BFF anymore." (64)

Market recovers from lows on news that infinity is an imaginary number (232)

(Some Guy) Amusing

She's not as dumb as you think she is. Look at all the things that Sarah Palin can name (587)

(Some Guy) Weird

With its world's tallest building nearing completion, Dubai, flush with money, now plans to build a structure taller than the length of 10 football fields (185)

Dow drops 800 points, possibly to infinity and beyond (lots)

News: Hot girl arrested for DUI. Bonus: She was stopped by police spike strips. FARK: Driving the wrong way down the highway for miles. (w/ video) (160)

(wrcb-tv)

Having a sex change does not constitute fraud if you run for city council later, GA supreme court rules (96)

Photoshop this bored gargoyle (62)

Delta to filter porn on planes until they can find a way to charge an extra fee for it (98)

News you can use: Where to find the best bacon (139)

The NY Times would like to reassure men everywhere, that it is perfectly straight to post pictures and video of you and your cats all over the Internet (178)

Couple, unable to afford honeymoon, scour streets looking for trash to convert into air miles, end up collecting enough to have dream honeymoon. "There was enough rubbish out there to fly us to the moon and back" (57)

Dalton Fury explains how he, Delta Force and his enormous beard got to within 2000 yards of Osama Bin Laden before the mission fell apart (186)

The pope, wearing a priceless crown and carrying staff made of solid gold, claims financial crisis is proof money is pointless, says people should instead base their lives on God (258)

77-year-old granny gets thirteen-year prison sentence for smuggling £1m worth of cocaine in vehicle adapted for disabled drivers. They saw her rollin' - they jailin' (33)

According to a poll, 59 percent of voters would have no problem with replacing the entire Congress with intelligent atheist otters or horses that communicate by stamping their hooves (148)

Oil falls below $90 on news that it's Monday (143)

Three people you've never heard of win a Nobel you didn't know existed (71)

Last week: 7-year-old feeds zoo animals to the zoo's croc. This week: "CHILD GOES ON VIOLENT RAMPAGE AT ZOO." Bonus: If the photo's to be believed, he forced the croc to eat at gunpoint. Is there a sweeps week in Australia? (81)

Russian government hosts primetime TV special on 9/11 conspiracy. Two panel members call bullshiat: Building expert and retired KGB analyst (257)

Organic food may actually be more unhealthy than non-organic (196)

(Some jealous guy) Cool

Old and busted: Sex with students. New hotness? Faculty sex ring (129)

Study suggests air pollution may increase the risk of appendicitis. That's silly, I live and work in China and AAAAGHHHHHHHHHH (41)

Man demands $66,283.85 compensation for the year he spent in jail after police stopped him for driving with his headlights off in the daytime (136)

Reminder: Cleveland Fark Party Next weekend October 11th. Link goes to previous thread (38)

Twenty-five percent of the world's mammals facing extinction, which isn't surprising when you let Sarah Palin go around shooting at them from helicopters (143)

FBI file details Evel Knievel's dark side, including the time he beat a movie studio executive with a baseball bat in the parking lot of 20th Century Fox (71)

When taunting your boyfriend with a snake, always be sure to pick one that's not poisonous (62)

Chelsea FC Tsar and secretive Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich orders an armored yacht half the size of the Bismark (82)

The top 100 books of all time. Get ready to punch your monitor (535)

Female skydiver dives onto the biggest peak in the world. Wearing rubber underwear. Giggity (46)

Britain is set to become the only European country allowing motorists to drink alcohol and still be able to drive legally, bouncing from kerb to kerb (68)

Venezuelans can give up their gas guzzlers and get a free car and a year of free fuel (51)

"There's way too many goats. Why are there so many goats? The brochure said there would only be a few goats. This is a terrible vacation" (53)

Dow drops below 10,000. If you run the ticker in reverse, it looks better (535)

(Level 12 Dwarf) Amusing

Two men on trial for attempted murder with battle axe. Unfortunately, the "they failed to roll initiative" defense probably won't work (87)

A strong earthquake measuring 6.6 on the Richter scale has hit a remote village in Kyrgyzstan. At least 70 people are reported dead and the local bank has slid into default (70)

(Some Bard) Dumbass

High school principal in Texas compares cheerleaders' pep rally skit (featuring mob-like execution of rivals) to Shakespeare (96)

Scientists discover huge, ancient pyramid in Peru buried under tons of earth. Let's just let them dig it up and go rushing in there. Not our fault they haven't seen the movie (142)

LSD first became illegal 42 years ago today. Star Trek debuted only a month earlier, so the two couldn't co-exist for long. Or could they? Return to a more innocent and trippier time, courtesy of musical legend William Shatner (113)

Not news: Man steals 15 newspaper vending machines. News: He takes the change and papers and leaves the machines in a motel room. Fark: He checked into the motel using his real name (20)

"Lord, we thank you for these tasty waves and righteous bros. Thanks for weed too, Dude. We also thank you for, uh... OH, Jim's Burrito Big As Your Head, for their biatchin' sustenance. Peace out" (30)

Woman convicted of her milkshake bringing all the boys to the graveyard (51)

New Zealander Rob Thomson says wanting to go outside his comfort zone was the motivation for a 12,000-km unassisted skateboard journey across three continents (27)

(Some Guy) Sad

Economic crisis finds people abandoning their pets due to tighter budgets. Your dog just wants his best friend back (235)

(Some Guy) Photoshop

Photoshop this jazzy drawing (51)

Doctors: Hamsters and gerbils are not appropriate pets for young children, Richard Gere (55)

Man runs into buddy at party. Then backs up, runs into him again (12)

Tradition of sworn virgins dying out. You don't say? (126)

"It just unfolded like that: 'We like zombies. Let's find a way to make real zombies at college.' It was alcohol-induced, I'm sure" (98)

Welcome to Britain: Just don't make a phone call, send an email or text anybody (137)

(ksdk.com) Amusing

Adult coach of junior football team caught on tape shoving 11-year-old in the face during post-game congratulation line (with video) (209)

Jewish man sues Frito-Lay for religious persecution. When will the suffering end? (131)

Obama = ? Biden = ? McCain = ? Palin = ? You've seen the meme, here's the thread (voting enabled) (892)

Guy pays £1,950 for cab ride from Portsmouth to Munich. Yes, beer is involved (38)

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Today's kids are more worried about their parents taking drugs than the other way round (67)

(Some Guy) Photoshop

Photoshop these researchers and their radiated rats (38)

(kare11.com) Sad

Man spends 2 months in jail due to his deodorant being mistaken for cocaine. That stinks (58)

Never piss off your wife if you've stolen 16 million dollars worth of equipment from the US Navy (85)

Mom drops baby from malfunctioning carnival ride while hanging by one leg; crowd catches her. TaDahhhh (100)

New law kicks in, raising speeding fines from $250 up to $5000 (186)

92-year-old woman pulls gun on paramedics, saying "I'm not dead. I feel happy" (65)

Japanese cat stationmaster has singlehandedly contributed 1.1 billion yen to the local economy (86)

Redneck recipe: Mix equal parts booze and firearms in a trailer park, and BAM (39)

Police are investigating a violent, suburban gang formed on an up-scale high school campus called The Fluffy Bunny Crew (119)

I would like a layover in Denver, a near miss in Miami, a meal in Minneapolis, and a cancellation in Toledo. Oh, and can I get my bags lost somewhere over North Dakota? Thanks (71)