During our last Saturday night service of 2006 at Healing Place Church, I made such a discovery about myself that I have always felt and sensed but never would put words to. It was during an awesome time of reflection and soul-searching at the end of the service, when I invited many to come to the altar just to be with Jesus. Right then and there, God showed me something about myself - that many times it is hard to preach and communicate to others when you yourself feel tremendously in need also. It is like I wanted to stop and say to everyone up there, “Hey this is hard for me because I don’t have a lot of this down either.” It jolted me - I suddenly felt such an awareness of how much His grace covers and collides with my many inadequacies. I just wandered off the stage to let another staff guy close up in prayer.
In John 15 Jesus says, “Without Me you can do nothing.” What a truth for me! I hope it will be an awareness that stays with me in 2007. I just can’t do anything without Jesus.
The other day I added up that I spoke 272 times in 2006 - probably more opportunities in 2007 - I will need every single one of them just as much as the next person.
Thank you, John Newton for your perspective on grace that has so described me.
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