Wacky Gadgets for Those Who Like to Play By Themselves.

Posted November 13th, 2008 by Luke in Mobile Technology

We’ve all seen people walk into each other/poles/traffic because they thought their phone was more interesting than politeness/spatial awareness/survival, but some devices are even more intent on cutting you off from the world. Here we see gadgets that make the average person phoning in the cinema look like a Buddhist monk at one with the universe.

1. One person karaoke

In what can only be a first strike in a War Against Humanity, Tomy have unveiled the “One person Karaoke system“. So either they don’t understand that karaoke is a group activity, or we don’t understand how much they hate us.

A small, portable device which enables people to inflict karaoke at any location with no warning: … continue reading "Wacky Gadgets for Those Who Like to Play By Themselves."

Crazy Cranium Creations

Posted November 11th, 2008 by Luke in Mobile Phone News

Your phone isn’t the only cool thing you can press against your head. It might sound odd for a phone site to tell you that, but all manner of wonderful things have been built to press against your face and some are so awesome or terrible that we just have to tell you. Here we look at some gaming gadgets that really put your head into a different world.

1. The Atari Mindlink System

As far back as 1983 Atari were trying to project gaming brains into the screen. If you just said “Wait a minute, there wasn’t any mind reading technology in the 80s” the congratulations - you know more than Atari did. There was nothing even like mind-reading technology back then. In fact, even getting a computer to notice you via buttons was considered … continue reading "Crazy Cranium Creations"

Cellphone Society Shifts

Posted October 24th, 2008 by Luke in Mobile Phones and Society Funny Mobile Stuff

The mobile phone has drastically affected society; a hand-portable device capable of transmitting your voice around the globe will do that sort of thing. With 50% of EVERYBODY ON THE PLANET owning one at the end of last year, handsets now outnumber most species. Not just the pansy endangered ones, either, but major classes of fish and mammal which have evolved for millions of years but carelessly forgot to develop numeric keypads. But some other effects of these proliferating phones were less expected:

1. Movie Flops

Hollywood executives are blaming texters for making failures out of their carefully advertised masterpieces, which is kind of like smallpox blaming penicillin for ruining its mortality track record. This should tell you everything you need to know about big studios - why bother making a good movie when it turns out that the people “just going to see what it’s like” have to pay the same admission fee? But now the first unfortunate cinematic canaries to see a movie can text their friends, telling them to stick rusted tin-openers into their eyes rather than … continue reading "Cellphone Society Shifts"

Peculiar Power Packs - Ingenious Ways to Charge Your Phone

Posted October 13th, 2008 by Luke in Mobile Technology

Every mobile phone user has attempted to harness their psychic powers: staring intensely at that flashing empty battery symbol, focusing their mental energies to keep those last few electrons struggling out of their lithium-ion container long enough to receive that vital call. There are times you’d give up the electricity in your own brain to get in touch with work or, far more importantly, not-work. Here are some less extreme options:

1. Coin op charger

The fine folks at Metro Charger realised that where there are people in desperate need, there are ways to make money from them. The coin-operated Metro Charger is a big rack of cables and connectors - the thing could likely charge a porcupine if it had to, though that’s probably not the sort of thing you should do in public. You pervert. … continue reading "Peculiar Power Packs - Ingenious Ways to Charge Your Phone"

iPhone iNsanity 2.0

Posted September 17th, 2008 by Luke in Funny Mobile Stuff

The iPhone 3G is a true exemplar of modern geekery - the systems get shinier, the apps get sillier, and memories get shorter than an ADD infant in a sugar factory filled with laughing gas. Only recently released and the white-shell addicted hordes have replayed the iPhone-insanity-fest of 2007 in almost perfect detail. Here we look at five of the worst cases.

1. Queuing a week early

Yes, people were queuing for iPhone 3Gs a full week early in New York, in a true testament to worthless lives coupled to credit cards sure to make any marketing executive weep. If any were deterred by the fact that the shop contained barely twelve month old iPhones which were already obsolete and Apple had, in fact, stopped making, they didn’t show it. Ask these people wat irony is and they’ll say they didn’t even know there was a rony, let alone that Apple had made a version, before offering to buy it.

The demented icing on the crazy cake … continue reading "iPhone iNsanity 2.0"

Cellphone Psychosis

Posted September 16th, 2008 by Luke in Funny Mobile Stuff

Some people care about mobile phones a lot.  That’s cool, because you’re one of them - we can tell from the fact you’re reading the Dial-a-Phone blog.  (We can also tell that you have excellent taste, appreciate the finer things in life, and while we can’t see what you’re wearing it quite probably looks great on you).  But some shows of dedication are so severe they’d make Steve Jobs throw up his hands and cry “Chrissakes, it’s just a phone!”

1.  Padding Poles

The converts of the texting god “OMGLOL!!” can be seen in every major city in the world - heads bowed in supplication to their holy keypads as they trudge blindly through the streets.  The faithful outnumber scientology - hell, they probably outnumber Christianity - but nowhere is their devotion so hilarious as Brick Lane, London.  So many people have injured themselves by running head-first into telephone poles that the charity “Living Streets” is padding them.

Which goes to show why they’re a charity and we’re not: we’d set up webcams and register “watchstupidpeoplehurtthemselves.com”

2.  Keeping Clean and Connected

In news sure to delight Asian mobile phone manufacturers, a survey has found that 40% of Japanese urbanites don’t want … continue reading "Cellphone Psychosis"

Sony Cellphone Strangeness

Posted September 15th, 2008 by Luke in Funny Mobile Stuff

Sony Ericsson definitely know a thing or two about phones -  since 2001 they’ve made so many mobile phones they’ve run out of nouns and started on the alphabet, from the Cybershot C-series to the designer Zs.  Here we look at five phones that should be filed under S for Strange.

1. Sony Mousephone

With increasing pressure to stand out (translation: “For the love of god, do something the iPhone can’t do”) companies are cramming everything they can into their phones - but some combinations just don’t make sense.  Behold the Sony concept mousephone, the exact opposite of hands-free, and while it was never commercially released it should never have been built or, ideally, even thought of. Combining gadgets is meant to make things more convenient.  You might have worked out that this thing makes it impossible to actually move your mouse while … continue reading "Sony Cellphone Strangeness"

Original iPhone iNsanity

Posted September 4th, 2008 by Luke in Apple iPhone

With the launch of the iPhone 3G, we’ve learned that the average Apple fan loves shiny new toys, trusts Apple to deliver them, and has absolutely no sense of pattern recognition. People queued up for days to get their hands on the new product, just like they did last year. For the one that’s already obsolete. What better time to review the lunatic lengths some people went to with the first white box, just in time to watch them do it all over again!

1. Made One Even More Expensive

Somebody, somewhere looked at an iPhone and thought “That just isn’t pointlessly expensive enough”. Worse, this person isn’t safely restrained somewhere with stern orderlies; they have access to precious metals and a machining lab which they used to coat an iPhone in … continue reading "Original iPhone iNsanity"

iPhone Application iDiocy

Posted September 3rd, 2008 by Luke in Apple iPhone

Since the release of the iPhone software development kit, everyone’s second favorite small cute white thing (after Blofeld’s cat) has had a slew of amazing widgets that show how much can be done with well-engineered personal technology. Then there were the stupid ones:

1. Roulette Helper

Roulette Helper is a program that’ll tell you which numbers to bet on at the gambling table, but please note: if you need electronic assistance to choose a number between one and thirty six you shouldn’t be gambling. Or have an iPhone. Or be outside without trained handlers. The roulette helper operates on the fairly safe assumption that people who play roulette don’t understand how math works and are prepared to throw money away on the flimsiest of excuses. So it’s really the best marketed random number generator in the history of the world.

2. iMilk

Yes, the iPhone screen is slick. Yes, it’s cool that the iPhone has a tilt sensor. But combining those awesome portable gadgets to simulate a glass of milk is the most tragic misuse … continue reading "iPhone Application iDiocy"

Seven Cellphone Segways: Bold Experiments in Design which Failed Miserably

Posted August 27th, 2008 by Luke in Mobile Phone Handsets

The power of style is a dangerous thing.  To harness it you have to leap out of the safe camoflague patterns of the masses and look striking, which is difficult when you’re just a small grey box with some buttons on it.  Fer every design triumph, there are twenty gadgets that go the Seg-way with even the most impressive engineering sunk under the simple phrase “That looks stupid.”

1.  Givori Serendipity

Sometimes you need to know when to stop - getting a nice haircut is good, paying a stranger to hack your scalp off is not.  That’s the level of mistake made by the Givori Serendipity.  The Nokia 8800 Arte team created a beautifully sleek handset, then the Givori team (who can only be the Evil Universe antimatter twins of the … continue reading "Seven Cellphone Segways: Bold Experiments in Design which Failed Miserably"