It has been a busy year for me so far.   An amazing year.  Things are moving forward at a fast pace as I make another record, continue performing, speaking and teaching, and begin some new projects in other arenas.

One of the great things about being self-employed and entrepreneurial is that you get to be your own boss. That can also be one of the bad things – cuz your boss never goes away!  In other words, before you know it - you can’t put the workahol down.

So, my boss is making me take a vacation.  And I’ll be taking the next week off from blogging so that I can rest and restore my energy and chill out on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

In the meantime, you can hear the next song on my upcoming record in its first round in the studio… click here to go to BeMyRecordLabel.com and listen to my song “I’ll be Your Angel.” 

Also – I’d love to get some suggestions for topics you’d like to read about in the coming months!  Leave them in the comments below or email them to me at christine@christinekane.com!

See you soon and thanks for reading!

As Ben (my new CD’s producer) and I spend day after day in the recording studio, we often share stories about our lives and the lessons we’ve learned along the way.

He shared a story that has become an inside joke between him and his partner, Gina. This story has now become part of the recording studio vernacular as well.

Ben and Gina run a yoga studio. They are both are gifted teachers with a devoted following.

One their students is a woman named Rhonda Brickman.

Ben and Gina became friends with Rhonda, and they often spent time after classes talking about their lives.

In these conversations, Rhonda talked about her husband often.  And Ben and Gina began to weave all kinds of stories about this man.  They made him into sort of a corporate giant, giving him all kinds of powerhouse personality traits.  They were even a little intimidated by all of their pre-conceptions about him.

Finally, they all went out to dinner together.  And as it turns out, Rhonda Brickman’s husband couldn’t have been more unlike their fabricated image of him.  All evening long, Ben and Gina glanced at each other in sheer amazement at how completely wrong they had been.

They’ve stayed friends with the couple – but Rhonda Brickman is now legendary in Ben and Gina’s relationship.  Any time either of them begins to obsess or weave pointless stories, the other one will look at the obsessive party and say in a sing-songy voice, “Rhonda Brickmaaaan.â€

This serves as an instant reminder of how completely wrong we are when we project our “stuff†onto the situations in our lives, or when we waste our energy telling tales about other people.

During our time in the studio, any time I obsessed about anything or took something personally, Ben would simply sing, “Rhonda Brickmaaaaan†to remind me to shut up and cut it out.

Last night as my husband and I were driving, we had several moments of getting upset with the drivers who weren’t turning off their bright lights as they drove by us.  We occasionally saw them as aggressive, thoughtless people who purposefully left their bright lights on just to create havoc in our lives.

Then, once or twice, I forgot to turn off my bright lights.

So, it was the perfect time to tell my husband about The Legend of Rhonda Brickman.

Today, it’s your turn.

What legends do you innocently spin throughout your day?

Note:  You will probably want to read the last post on tweaking before you read this post!

What’s a yammer?

A yammer is any old voice that speaks up when something, anything, gets a little challenging.   Or when a new twist enters a situation.

You know your yammers well.  They’re the voices that come yammering along, hooking you with their love of drama and anxiety.

So, here’s something to remember:

The tweak is the antidote to the yammer.

A yammer says, “Oh, it’ll never work!â€

The tweak says, “Hey, let’s try this one more time!â€

The yammer says, “Why does this happen to me?â€

The tweak says, “Okay, what would happen if I did this instead?â€

In fact, a “tweak,†by its very name, removes the drama from any situation.

So, from now on, imagine that old V-8 commercial. Only instead of saying, “Wow! I could’ve had a V-8!†you’ll say, “Wow. I can just tweak!â€

Here are the some common yammers  and the tweaks that heal them…

#1 - Taking life personally

This is the yammer that says things like, “Well, see? This must not be in the cards for me.â€Â  Or, “I’m just not cut out to reach my goals.â€Â  Or “Something must be wrong with me.â€

In the VA situation I wrote about in the last post, I could feel this very yammer coming around the bend. (“What did I do wrong? Why is she doing this to me?â€)

The tweak replies like this:

“Let’s not waste any more time on her. Sometimes people just flake out.  There are so many other people out there who would love to work with you! Let’s try calling a few!”

(”Wow! I can just tweak!”)

#2 – Outrage

“You pre-paid for her hours? Well, she owes you money! Go after her!â€

Or, “Do you know what that jerk did to me? Things were going fine until he…â€

Recognize these yammers?

Outrage is a yammer that can keep your wheels spinning for years.

I’m not saying that you won’t have occasional misgivings about certain events. I’m not saying that occasional venting isn’t okay, or that you shouldn’t stand up for yourself when the situation calls for it.

But I’d rather take all that energy and tweak the situation instead.

A tweak looks at outrage and says, “How much is your time worth?  If you spend three hours trying to get back at someone because you’re outraged, isn’t that three hours you could spend being creative – and perhaps creating something new?  And making even more money because of the new thing you created?â€

#3 – Failure shame

This yammer is always on the look out for reasons to feel embarrassed or ashamed.  In fact, I think that most people who fear failure don’t fear the actual failure. They fear the yammer.  The yammer is what convinces them that there’s even such a thing as failure!

A tweak, on the other hand, knows that the slightest tweak can make a failure into a success.  A tweak is a different way of looking at something that went wrong – and then re-purposing it in a different package. Or taking the lesson and making something out of it.

“Wow! There is no failure! Just new ways to tweak!”

#4 – Event-Mindedness

“Event-minded†yammers are everywhere.

That’s because by the time we hear a “success story,†the process (and the tweaks) are no longer a part of the story.

By the time a fitness guru reports it, the story IS the 85 pounds lost.  By the time a marketer blogs about it, the story IS the $4million created.  By the time New York Times writes about it, the story IS 5 million copies sold.

Everyone loves an event.  But if you’re not careful, event-mindedness can fuel the yammers.

For instance, people have asked me what I’ll do if Be My Record Label doesn’t “work.â€Â  (Read: If it doesn’t become a marketing story, or raise at least the budget of the CD.)  That’s event-mindedness.

Right now, I listen to the tweak voices.

I keep tweaking and playing with it and coming up with new ideas here and there.  Part of what inspires me is to show people how much of creating anything is trying new stuff – lots of which doesn’t work!

After all, the person who lost 85 pounds had many days where she felt stuck and had to re-inspire herself. The product that created $4 million had to be marketed and new ideas had to happen over and over again. The best-selling book had to be written sentence by sentence – and then get ripped apart by editors – and re-written again.

Every successful person tweaks more than she yammers!

#5 – Belief in lack

This is the core yammer of all yammers.  This yammer’s mantra is, “There’s not enough.â€

Tweaking, on the other hand, is all about abundance.

Tweaking teaches you that life is never stuck or static or stale.  Tweaking says, “There are plenty of people who can support my work.†“There are plenty of new ideas and ways of doing this.â€Â  “There are so many people who would buy this.†“There are lots of resources!â€

Every time you tweak, rather than collapse into a heap of yammers, you learn that life is abundant and that there’s always another choice to make.  Sometimes it’s good to take a nap first and clear your head of the yammer.  Or even take a break for a day or two.

But soon, you’ll get used to saying “Wow! I can always tweak!â€

A few weeks ago, you decided to get support in your business.  Things are growing steadily, and you know you can’t continue at this pace.

So, you hired a Virtual Assistant to help in your growing business.  At first, she was fabulous.  She jumped in and did stuff to create better systems for all of your ventures.

Then she missed one of your scheduled phone calls. After that, she didn’t return emails for days.  Tasks weren’t getting done on time. You finally let her know that this behavior was unacceptable and that if she missed another scheduled phone call without advance notice, you’d have to let her go.

Then in the middle of a big project, she disappeared again.  Also, she didn’t show up for your scheduled call.
As promised, you wrote her an email and let her go.  You still haven’t heard back, and you had paid her in advance for several hours of work.

You start to feel deflated at this disappointing situation.  You might even want to tell yourself that you just weren’t meant to have a support team.  So, now what?

Enter the power of the tweak.

What’s a tweak?

A tweak is nothing more than trying again.  Trying a new thing.  Asking, “What’s next?” And most importantly, the word “tweak†contains within it the permission to let something go so that you can move on to the next thing.  Sometimes, moving forward is more about tweaks than it is about anything else.

Now, a tweak might sound similar to the idea of “persistence.â€Â  But it’s a better motivator for two solid reasons…

#1 – Tweak is a fun word.

#2 – Persistence is not a fun word.

Tweaking is about knowing that your intention is powerful and that the whole process is about finding the perfect and right path/people/projects that take you there.  It’s also about knowing you don’t have to do it perfectly the first time. (Or ever!)  In fact, the best thing about tweaks is that they require that you accept imperfection.

This sounds simple and logical, of course. But for many of us, it’s a huge challenge.

Tweak Means Keep Moving

You may have guessed that the story above actually happened to me.

So, what did I do?

I got on the web and started interviewing people again.  I’m now working with a new VA.  She has already given me a level of attention and productivity that far surpasses the last one.

I was telling my friend Joy about my new VA.  She said, “Wait a minute. I thought you already had a VA.â€

I explained the situation, telling her that I didn’t really want to spend much time talking about it because it wasn’t worth the breath it took to tell the story.

And she stopped me and said, “Whoa! That’s huge for you!  And you’re already working with someone else??â€

Translation: “Hey! Usually we go through about two weeks (or years) of good hard drama when this kind of thing happens!â€

Not anymore.

And here’s why:  I’m mastering the power of the tweak.   It’s the most liberating success principle I’ve discovered in a while.  When you remember that success is all about tweaks, then you are less likely to get bogged down in self-sabotage.

Stay tuned!  More on tweaks in the next post!

————

P.S.   I went through a massive tweak at BeMyRecordLabel.com. After many people sent me suggestions for how to make the site better, I tweaked it. Let me know your thoughts on the new design!

One of my first Web-Marketing mentors was Stephanie Diamond.

Stephanie helped me re-think my website and begin re-defining my whole approach to the online part of my music and writing.  I was lucky enough to be in a 4-week course that she offered.  And now, after applying the principles she taught me, I get regular requests to mentor people build their own on-line success.

Obviously, I don’t have much time for this. (And there are MANY other people who know lots more than I do!)

So, here’s some great news…

Stephanie is offering a free e-Course on Web Marketing for Small Businesses.

Now, here’s the thing:

Don’t let the “small businesses” thing scare you off if you’re an artist or service professional.  These principles can be applied to anyone.  And Stephanie is clear and grounded and gentle in her teaching style. Perfect for my readers!

Click here to read more.