Brutally Honest

I don’t know how I missed this story, but Siggy didn’t..

On one hand, the press is telling us that America is in terrible shape: she is economically depressed.

Bad Bush = tight spot.

But wait!  On the other hand, this NY Times feature on a woman’s pelvic fitness spa, suggests that tight spots may have absolutely nothing to do with bad old Bush at all; they may have everything to do with good Bush! And if women are paying $150.00 a pop to wrap their vaginal muscles around a doctor’s fingers then perhaps people are not feeling as squeezed as we’ve been led to believe!

My warrior vagina looks with disdain on these primping vacuous and self-obsessed vaginas of vulgar vanity, and she suggests their owners take themselves in hand before they get completely nipped and tucked and runned amok! She is willing to explore the vagaries of vaginal aging because she is secure in herself and valiant in vulvic fortitude; she bucks trends!

My vagina blows deep and incessant raspberries - from the cervix on down - at the clitoral crybabies who will resort to cunning stunts to maintain an illusion of youth. “Dry up! Be happy with yourselves the way you are,†she roars to her sister vaginas. “The way of the wise woman allows pit stops to whet the whistle, and tickle the tuner, but it’s never required an engine overhaul!â€

Are there not enough ways the beauty, fashion and medical industries make women feel inadequate? Must even the labia be labeled a “work in progress…�

Thank heavens for the NY Times - with their mediating editorial intelligences, we may not know about victories in a strengthened Iraq, but we know where to go for victories in a strengthened vulva, and that’s what really matters, isn’t it?