AntoineRJWright.com

A Difference Maker
I am getting used to being on a full computer once again. You see, I was getting ready to download the email off the server to my home computer when my Treo would not sync. In fact, the Treo itself would not even be recognized as a handheld via my computer. Just to be safe, I repaired the installation of Palm Desktop, but it is what I feared would happen in that my cable finally gave out on me. I am debating whether I will get a new one, considering how much I am debating whether to keep the 650, or move to the next Treo when it is released.

In the mean time, I need to get my Bluetooth adapter out and then use that to snc and transfer files. That won't be too much of an issue, but it will be a lot slower. I will need to do some tweaking of my schedule so that it does not become a hindrance in the morning or evening.

Something else about me and this Treo that I am noticing. I just don't like reading old news from a paper. Though sometimes I catch an eye of the entertainment stories while on the Metro, I really prefer to have my music and news all in one device. The fact that it can do phone calls and SMS is even better. Though I am seeing that I am stressing the battery with all this usage. I know that it is in its design, but probably was not in its funtionality for the Treo to be used like I am using it.

Shout out to Shane who is on his way to the American Idol tryouts in Memphis. I really would like to go but cannot see myself being any good doing that drive by myself and then standing in line/singing. At the same time, I want to know if I can do it. Here's hoping that next year will be it for me there.

A few days until me apt is solo again. Not that I am kicking folks out (I am) but it will be nice to have my space as MY space again. There is some freedom in that for sure. Maybe I can then start looking for some things to make life a bit more homely, and comfortable.
- sent from Treo Read More

Just wanted to say a really public congrats to Gail and Norman. Gail gave birth to Dominique Mia McMillian on Friday the 25th @ 4:41am (according to the text message I just recieved there were THREE DAYS of labor).

Dominique comes into the world at 6lbs., 1oz and at 19in long (she is already taller than Gail (LOL).

Congrats to them for their new addition. And I know that with a bit of a far reaching fam, Norm will have his hands full. Tis ok, I am pulling for you to be a great dad in both of your kid's lives. Read More

Gettin' It In Now
I am just leaving work and while today has been busy, I think that the more interesting side of what has been going oj is the different culture of work. It is in a lot of respects what I have wanted, but in a few more a bit harder to adjust to. I guess that part of this 'new pot' that I am getting used to is that of actually working and others thinking and doing the same (id not a whole lot more). No complaints on my end, just an admitance of adjusting.

Speaking of adjusting, outside of my wallet, I have adjusted fine so far to being a commuter once again. Though I have had thoughts of moving closer, I'd rather be a touch closer to Annapolios and Bay Area church than to work. Plus, I could not handle living on PG county. I did my time there with working and it does not feel the place for me.

Was just reading the Word. It is interesting how Paul stated in 2 Cor. 10:5 how we are to keep our minds in a constant state of being turned away from sinful thoughts, but the in the next verse how it brings retribution into our lives by being obedient to the Word. I don't know how far thus thought can go, but the Word most defintely has a hidden gem in those two verses (three if you count verse 9).

Yea, I am on the red line on the way home. It really is interesting how I can post and write after a day of good work. Not that I am not tired, but I am rested enough to write. Now off to catch up on Brighthand news and some good prayer and praise in the car.
- sent from Treo Read More

To Speak of A Gift
I was just reading this via the Worship Matters RSS feed and while my own saddness of lack of an intimate relationship is a constant battle., I couls sense and agree wirh the sincerity of this posting. Gos really does bless rel3onships and I would hope that my heart is healed to receive a gft just as this person has.
- sent from Treo Read More

I have been pretty much bored with this old new ocmputer that I have gotten because I am not able to play one of my favortite games on it. But, today I remembered that one of my other games would play: Starcraft. And so I loaded it up and decided to play it from the beginning and see what happens.

It's been a good while since I played it, and granted, I know some of the boards a bit too well, it was still quite fun. Looking forward to playing this one up for a while. It will make a good distraction on those days when I don't want to go out and just need something to preoccupy me that isn't too deep.

Speaking of out, one of my friends just moved down here and I spent some of Sat evening showing her one of my favortite places to hang out. Not that I do too much hanging out, but when I worked in Largo, there was this excellent tea cafe called Infusions Tea Cafe that has some really good tea, and usually on Sat nights, live jazz. Granted, there was no jazz, but the tea was still good. It was good to cathc up with my friend too as we have not had a sit down in a good long time. Though, the next time we meet up, we might have to meet somewhere, she is wayyy aways and I am not always wanting to be in a driving mood when it is too late (like it is now).

Sleep and I got a nice date, so people can wait; until the work starts that is. Read More

Sunday to Rest Away
Truthfully, it Is kind of weird that I am able to blog so much more now. Not that I have not wanted to before, but it just seems that I have tose extra tought cycles where thinking and blogging just seem to be a good thing.

I had tried to update the CSS here via Dragon Edit and have been having some issues. I think that it is my FTP at this point, so I will have to see what I can do with those settings when I get a chance. until then, the mobile version of this site doesn't play so well in some mobile optimized browsers. They really just have too much fun with my code.

I have been outside on my deck since getting in from church today. I figured that it would be good to take a nap. And I was right, the breeze out there is really refershing, and it makes for a nice 'wind blanket' to sleep under. Granted, it's a bit on the noisy side with the cars and bugs, but I was able to get a nice nap in.

Church was good this morning. Though the messasage was great, I am probably going to remember the kids a bit more. They had a ball jumping on me and making sure that I was "in jail" or just flat out tired. Four and five year olds are a trip though, you never know what they will say, but all it is hat they really want is someone to listen to them and take interest in things they are interested in. There was one little girl who came in and she did not want to do much of anything, but then she semed to decide to join in with the rest of them in painting my head. She sure seemed like she had a great time after that point, and I am glad.

Well, I need to go upload a file and pull email from the server. Have good one, and I hope that if you are reading this, that you are able to take a moment or two and just rest in God a bit too.
- sent from Treo Read More

Of Soul Ties and Jelly Beans
Just came in from a breakfast with Kyera. I was pretty angry with her last night, but she spoke honestly, and so to that end I had to kind of admit that it is a blow that I have to take and run with it. It's hard being close with someone for a while, but then realizing that you are tired, and staying together means you both hurt that much deeper. I wish it were not the case, but I was never one who had a wish that came true.

I am still named Jelly Bean though. Weird how 'Bean' or some variation of the name has followed me throughout my life. Heck, I used to read Jack and the Beeanstalk a whole lot to just becasue I wanted to know what kinds of beans. To her I am a caramel jelly bean, to mom and others I am string bean or beany, and God only knows if there is any fruit being made in all of those beans that I am. I just know that it something that has stuck around for whatever reason, and it's just another place where this season (Vineland) has stuck its head out.

I am really thinking about whether to do my poems posted here or not. I want to do it, but I don't like the drop down menu. Vineland is the latest and has some of the more 'pruning' notes of prose in a good while. But there is probably poetry written here from almost every compliation that I have made. At some point, it would be nice if they could get back to having more pleasing titles (Candlefire was really good, as was Anointings, but other than that, not much to build on).

I wonder who reads these posts, or if I am really just doing the online journal. I know Google indexes them though, as they should, it is a Blogger thing you know. With their new beta of Blogger here, I wonder if I will feel like taking advantage of any of the new features. I don't know. Maybe I will consult the beans and see what they have to say :-)
- sent from Treo Read More

It's not mine, but dang is it in my heart right now:

Welcomed in to the courts of the King
I've been ushered in to Your presence
Lord, I stand on Your merciful ground
Yet with every step tread with reverence

And I'll fall facedown
As Your glory shines around
Yes, I'll fall facedown
As Your glory shines around

Who is there in the heavens like You?
And upon the earth, who's Your equal?
You are far above, You're the highest of heights
We are bowing down to exalt You

So let Your glory shine around
Let Your glory shine around
King of glory, here be found
King of glory

Facedown by Matt Redmond Read More

I was given a good Word today from my friend whom I haven't seen (still) in ages:

Deuteronomy 29:29
The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.

While this is something that I can understand, it perplexes me that in the mist of those things that I shared with her about what has been going on with me lately, that there are still so many things yet to be revealed, yet to be known.

There was a time when all I wanted to do was seek out the solution to all the problems, all the codes. To just know was a goal, and really was enough. But, I find that as I end my first week here at work, that I really don't need to know and can just let those things go that I don't understand (at least for now I don't understand, God does and they are His playground if you will).

I do know that the second part is really worth holding on to. I have learned a lot this summer that will translate into good wisdom for my children (gotta get a wife first) and children's chlidren. To me, leaving a legacy is something that I want to do as not just so they can be proud of me, but so that my kids would have no reason why they would not want to carry the family name as a note of honor.

I wonder now, having typed that last piece, if whether some of the decsions that I have recently made in light of some family would even figure well/not well into that. I don't know. But I know that I am growing in a different way than where I was before. To that end, I am just content with secrets being secrets and spending time in prayer and worship when I can. There is a lot spoken in those times (both ways) that is a may remain a mystery forever, or just until I grow out a little bit more in this pot. Read More

Taking My Thoughts Captive
I figured that since I am sitting here and just trying not to battle my thoughts so much, that it would be a good thing to write some.

Oh, I should kind of fill in the blanks of sorts,...lately, I have been trying to do the right thing of taking captive my thoughts and submitting them to God by not carrying on with "imagined" conversations in my head. You know, those conversations that happen in your head based upon a situation or on that you wish would happen. And for me they can get really deep, but usually lead ot anger or misperception of reality. And so to that end, this is something that I am really trying to work on by (1) denouncing those thoughts, and then (2) praying about someone whom I know wants or needs prayer. In that way, I am taking the focus off of myself and onto someone who really would like God's attention in some way.

So yea, I am sitting here and just kinda chillin the night away. I mean, I could have went to the office party for one of the guys that is leaving tomorrow, but I just got there and don't really know him. Add to that it would mean going back into DC and spending some funds where I am scant as it is. So yea, I am making this for the most part a solo night. Nothing wrong with that, its been quiet here in the apartment, and aside from getting my seat stolen by the cat, things have been pretty chill.

Ever have those feelings that someone you know is reading your journal...lol
- sent from Treo Read More

Upon the Metro
While taking the Metro after work, I seem to want to post just a bit. It us not like I won't have time later, but it is like I have had the dat to think and then I can just post some of those away.

I do admit that working is better than not. I wish my healrh were better, but even with it not, I am in a sense havimg to practice in not trying to do everything. I rhink that I will feel better if I can rest some this weekend.

I found some headphone for my Treo via a Philly Treo user from MyTreo.net. He was really cool and gave me a reduced price being that I too am originally from Philly. I guess now I should claim Laurel, since that is where I am for now.

Out of being underground and I have a signal now. Hopefully this won't be like the last time where my post was in limbo. Gotta love this stuff sometimes.

I am called the mobile guy at work. Man does that mean some work coming my way. At the same time, I hope no one is offended by me. I am trying to learn where my place is in this large teamand just work from there.

Got a neat link from Demetri. It is about tech overseas being better than here. Not that I mind the mobile tech here, but in some/most respects, it really is bettwr over there. Really, the Treo is nice enoughm just not enough features. And so far, nothing is enough tomake me switch. Not really a convincimg article if the good stuff hasn't made me switch, but then again, I am stubborn.

Off the Metro, gotta get home and rest now.
- sent from Treo Read More

I figured that I will soon get rid of my other blog, and so that is something that will be going pretty quickly. I also figure that since BLogger is undergoing a beta, I can wait things out and then when things update, I can go ahead and do another page update.

I have also downloaded and installed Opera on my desktop. I like it, even though it does not get the press on desktops that it should. I am wanting to see what kinds of differences there are in browsing from Firefox (which I usually use) and IE (which I usually have to test in. Already, the fact that I need to figure out something for the rounded corners that Opera can support for my site will be a thing. It's just too blocky of a site without the curves.

Already, I can tell that Opera is kinda not good in that I have to write out my link HTML codes.

Work is passing by not too badly. I sometimes have thoughts if whether I should have waited for the Baltimore position, but I don't know. God can and has used me everywhere. I guess part of that thought comes from the level of work being a lot higher than what I was used to. Granted, I felt the same way at IDI, but here is a lot higher of a step up, and a ton more work.

Shout's out to my friend Angel whom I got to chat with this morning. She is a cool ladi yall, she most def gets the award for being a morning person (LOL).

That is all for me at this point, its near 11 and I need rest like a bad man. Read More

Man, it has been like forever since I have had to commute into work on the Metro. I have to say that it felt weird and good at the same time. But I am so not in walking shape. I am glad that I went biking tonight. Maybe I can translate this new job into a reason to exercise a bit after work. God knows that I will need to do something

The new job is a bit tough in that there are a lot of projects. As I talked to different people, all that they could really say is that in the past months there has been so many new people because there is so much work. No complaints there, but man, it's really a lot of work.

I could have sworn that I posted from the Metro, I even got a confirmation message that the publish had been made. I need to check the queue on that one. There was some good stuff in that message.

Funny note, when I went to write my post while on the Metro, I saw that I had an unfinished post from last Friday. It just so happened that last Friday, I was writing to post here when I got the call for getting the job. Tis a really neat things ain't it. Sad that I cannot keep track of this stuff though LOL

I figure that I will have some more time on my hands with my commute. I need to find a good place in the Word to read up on while I ride. I can read RSS feeds of the news, but I really want to start the ride out with the Word. I had a great session in prayer and praise after work, and I believe that is something that I will need to continue, especially in this season of transistion.

So here's to a first day, and the fact that I need to ask God to expand the abilities of the resources He has given. There is much to do, but even more so, I got to be pointed at Him so that I can reflect Him as He truely is.

PS: Thanks to Chipmunk Scripts for the smiley face. Read More

A New First Day
Firsy day at my new job was today. It hass certainly been full. This should surely bean adventure, as well as a stretching. I have one project now and from the sound of things, three or four could come really soon.

I had a post here on my palm but that must have been the one where I was sitting down after the interview then found out I got the job. I could have posted it, but instead I delete the potent part to say this:

my cousin gave me an earful for sending to his wife a prayer that spoke asgainst the demonic oppression and spiritual junk of FreeMasonry. He took it as I rejected him. That is not the case as I care more about his daugther than him doing 'good' and hiding rituals from the knowledge of his wife (much of which she would probably disagree with). He asked (my word) for me to stay away and that I nearly plan to do. But I fear that trying to explain what God has shown me in the Spirit would be quite hard to hear (it is hasrder to know and be shown).

So my prayer now is that they would hear me despite any anger or malice and forgive me for any misunderstanding. For I believe very much that while his anger has been tempered by masonry, my cousin doesn't see the fear of thise who live with him. I am going to pray now as I have half a trip home

Ain't this a heck of a first day.
- sent from Treo Read More

I got a job. Two interviews yesterday and both went well. Both jobs I wanted. The >second one called first, 20 minutes after the interview. And so I start Monday. If you are in IT and looking for work, shoot me a message and I can hook you up with the excellent recruiter that was a great help to me.

Going to a crab feast today in PA. Should be great. Hope there is some left considering that I have not even left now. I have been here at home resting since I was up early at the men's breakfast going on at my church.

The breakfast was a good time and I got to speak with some men that I know and others that I did not. I was talking to one guy who does forensics and that was just amazing what he told me...there are a ton of child porn cases in the military. I never would have thought. But he gave the numbers and just how the process happens. I tell you from experience, porn is a hard thing to get into and even harder to let go of, but child porn is just another level. I dont understand it and pray for those who are in that bondage.

Other than that, I am just trying my best to make sure that my mind thinks on the right things. I have many times in the past had imagined conversations about situations that have or could happen. I see now how destructive those are and do my best now to pray for someone when I get those thoughts. And then just even more to ask God to renew my mind. I do believe that He can do so, and He already is in many cases.

Sometimes, when you are pruned and replanted into a newer pot, you have memories of old attachments. They are not there, but if you treat them like they are, then you end up with the same lack of growth and maturity. I see that God has pruned some things in me and wants me no longer remembering those things that were pruned and walking towards a place where I live thru His renewal, not thru memories. Read More

Today's Minutes
I know that there is more to today than the gamut of emotions that I have been feeling. Really, there is a lot more. But I will not go too far into those. Maybe one day, when all of the poems that have written are published, maybe that day will reveal everything. But now, just for now, I will remain in the Light just a little bit longer.

Today, God finally spoke and I finally heard. Maybe there is life for me yet to live.
- sent from Treo Read More

I only say maybe because things still have to happen. But what I do know is that the season named Maryland in my life has been nothing more than a setup. For what, I have no idea. But I do know that this season is a setup. In my book, knowing this means that it is about time to go. It would mean leaving a ton of folks that I have met, and a church and a few other things, but I'd consider leaving at this point as there is bluer skies where I have wanted to go.

Next step, applying for work in NC. That is where I wanna be, and that is where I wanna get to asap.

Did this thingy a bit ago, its pretty accurate, and you know what; that's a good thing for those reading this.



Last thoughts;
Kyera and I broke up. While that hurt, I realize that things that I saw some months ago were on point and I am just letting go now. She has been held back a bit too long and apparently I am a big cause of that. So for me, gotta kick her out of my place (well, not kick but she does have to go), and then for me I need to find the reason that I used to have for living and breathing. Because the last few days of mid-day siestas are fun, but not the way I want to spend the rest of my days. Read More

Time and season
Gripes of mine
I speak into the air and yet it does not speak back
I hear words
From people
Asking me to smile and tell them what is going on
No one seems to understand
Their ears and hearts don’t itch like mine
I am again in a lonely place
Far be it from me to further complain
This is my caste
This time
This season
I speak into the air and receive no Water.

Labels: poem

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Promises Are Made. To Be...
I have had to sit down the past week and really evaluate this whole idea of making vow and promises. For a long time, it has been my own opinion that decisions that require vows/promises should not be made lightly, but given full knowledge and prayer, be made accordingly. To that end there has always been very few things that I make promises towards.

So as I sit now with a memory of a promise in front of me, I really have to ask myself if I really value promises and vows because that thing that I made the promise towards is now broken. In that, I broke my vow, and technically there are both legal and spiritual onsequences to that.

But I have to also ask, do we make promises for a moment, in order to comfort ourselves and never really follow thru on those promises. If so, then what really are we standing on as proof of that promise. If it is faith, then to break a promise would say essentially that you no longer have faith for that (and did you really have faith for it to begin with). If it were a promise made on a duty, if the duty has passed or no longer applies, does the promise also no longer apply?

In my heart and mind, that last paragraph was a bunch of nonsense. If we make promises, they are made to be kept and not broken. So I do ask myself now with the rememberance of a promise in front of me, did I fight enough to keep my end of this vow, and if I did not, did I vow in error?
- sent from Treo Read More

Hey, Yea, Nope
Part of the fun of a blog is coming up with new post titles. Sometimes, I have no idea where to go with them, but many of them are just quite silly.

Congrats to my bro Jamie C. for being ordained a pastor. He will be starting a new church in N. Philly in the next few weeks and it will be an exciting and building time for him and his family. I attended the after-ordination party last night and it was just a good time of food and fellowship.

Before I made it there, I visited one of the many churches I used to frequent, Charis Cathedrial, in York, PA. It was a good time just sitting and listning to Pastor B. break the word and then catching up with folks whom I haven't either seen or talked to in a good while. Some of them have jobs in the Baltimore area and so I just may be able to once again fellowship with them or play a game of hoops.

Props to Amber for getting me out there, I didn't want her wrath if I came out there and didn't stay a while again :P

The day before that I was in York, PA where I gave Pastor Tembula the Treo 650 donated by Brighthand. Read more about that at MMM.

Other than that, I still am not workin, but working my heart around to find peace in the mist of this. I just moved a ton of things out of my bedroom, making it once again a place of rest (not a place of work and rest). I also rearranged my living room a bit to account for my computer being there, and that should make for some adjusting, but a bit more clarity and peace while at home.

It's otherwise a Monday. Man the weekend was good to have, but I am so tired.
- sent from Treo Read More

You know how you get to some points in your life and then realize that things are a lot different than what they looked like when you were going thru them. I have had that feell ing very much so this morning and am not happy one bit about it.

I don't like to have been used. It's no plesant.
I don't care about being lied to, there is a lot of wasted time when you walk towards a lie (let's just call it empty faith)
I don't care to be in lack - being used and lied to tends to make that happen

So in a sense, I realize some big things, and frankly, the One who can answer these charges speaks none. Gotta love it. Read More

Just Here
I have spent a lot of time at the library this summer. Even now, I have been here doing some items online that are a bit easier to do here than on my home computer. Not that my computer is any worse, but sometimes a faster connection can make "search and learn" times a bit more fruitful.

Had a good conversation via IM with my bro LaRosa Johnson. It is always good to have folks that you can sit online and offline to just chat with. He is a goodman and you just have to see what he has coming down the pipe.

I spent some time online thinking about whether or how long it should be before taking the bulk omy computing mobile. Not that I can just go mobile everywhere with the Treo (even now I cannot use the free wifi here and have to connect online via my data plan), but I can do almost anything. And for that, i'd rather be mobile than stuck at a desk. I still need to figure out the issue of testing websites in multiple browsers, but once I get past that one, I will be just fine.

So yea, just here and about to head to B-More Harbor to meet with my bro and chill some It shold be a good time, and I need to get out. Getting out is better than being just here you know?
- sent from Treo Read More

I have finally gotten around to fixing the PGC Portal Page that I did last week. Granted, the fix was simple once I centered in on what code was causing an issue in IE, but once that happened, it looked better.

Take a look at something that got lost in the shuffle at my last job in the mist of explainations and decide for yourself if it is better than the current site's portal page. Read More

Ok, so I should never go to an interview and not have some links working in the browser they are using. Another slight change to the site, I dropped the archives and previous posts, as they are good when you have a lot of visitors, but not so much when you just journal.

Many thanks to the folks at IEP-MPG whom showed me a really kool company. Hopefully they don't get too out of shape seeing that my site has changed from what they saw with me a few short hours ago ;)

The other thing that has also changed with this page is that it is a lot smaller in code (thanks to no archives and previous posts) and there is some simpler HTML, making rendering on more web browsers a lot better.

Tis all for now, but you know me, I tend to change things as soon as I think about them. Read More

Just a note about this site (i'll add the link to the page just so that others can catch this later on):

The website was designed in (mostly) correct XHTML/HTML/CSS. unfortunately, this means that if you are using a browser such as Internet Explorer (basically any before version 7) that there is a whole lot that will just flat out not look right because of the lack of support for web standards and a different "model" for showing content.

Where usually a designer would take the time to design for IE and then fix for other platforms; for me that has always been a fustrating end of website development. I, instead, write my code for standard's compliant browsers, and then where appropriate I will fix for IE. There has been some in this site that is a fixed for IE, but there is a lot more that has not. Mainly because it takes a long time to do, and much of it is in my mind worthless to fix if a browser that is used by all people doesn't support the rules its company helped to create.

So if you are viewing this site, and notice that the side menu doesn't work for the Favorites and Portfolio (that is because I use CSS to make the links come out) or that the bottom of the page is a bit off (there is some of that in Firefox, but in IE its way off becasue of measurement differences), please do not think it is because I do not want you to view my website, on the contrary, it's because I want you to view a website that works because it just does, not because it was hacked up to work a particular way.

Having said all of that, I really do like Firefox more than IE, and don't care that IE shows things wrong. If you have a problem with that, just leave a comment, someone is sure to hear about it, but I ain't hacking a fix for it. Read More

I am that I am supported to be careful at what it is that I write on here. Shoot, I have an interview in about an hour and will have to reference this page in order to speak about what's left of my portfolio that is accessible (the rest, aka most, sits on my Dell laptop with its "needing to be replaced" motherboard).

Despite this admission, I am not too happy. I really do not see me fairing very well in this interview either (I was denied a second interview yesterday from a position I went for). This breakup has been really hard. I cannot sleep till I still my mind, and there is nothing but happy memories, anger, and prayers that fill my mind and heart. Needless to say, this is not exactly my best position for going into interviews, let alone a living arrangement where it is that I still see her all the time.

I don't blame her for anything. Honestly, much of this is most probably because of me to a greater degree than it would be her. This is not the forum to spill all of that, but I write pretty loud when I do poetry, and so most things are able to be figured out.

The clock is ticking and this place I am to interview is within walking distance, yet because of the lay of the land, I have to drive. Not that I am really happy about that either, it just seems that in this very hard summer, I have been dealt just one more thing that makes me wish for something better, wonder what the heck is going on. Read More

Changes....That's Just the Way It Is
There are some changes that will be coming quickly in a few ways to the site. For one, there will not be so many techie posts here. Not that I cannot stand it or anything, but the new Wordpress Blog (under the same AntoineRJWright.com name) will be where most of that is happening.

That will be to give pause to some ramblings, and to keep this side of things a journal.

The other change is a bit more drastic, and has happened already. Kyera and I are no longer seeing each other. While we are still friends (something I do appreciate), the romantic side of things has ended. It was a faithfilled, happy and sad ride. She is a good ladi and most definitely will give some guy pause enough to change his life and the world around him.

Other change has me finding spot things to do here and there. While it is that I do feel that my time onlin is that of a worship mode. Reading a recent article at Think Christian most definitely has me looking at worship in a different light, especially the corporate worship setting. I understand the view presented there, and dang near agree.

I spent the last night arguing with myself and not letting God jump in (too much). Not that I understand all the reasons for the changes that have been going on, but that is just the way that it is. Apparently, there is a lot at steak in terms of my life, and losing two of the biggest things (hopefully no more is lost) is only the beginning of something good.
- sent from Treo Read More

...I thought that I might more of what is in me.

Something that I realized this past Sunday night is that when I serve God with technology, I am worshipping. Basically, when I am taking "me" out of tech and using and doing things with technology so that He would be glorified, this is my act of worship to Him.

I cannot say that any other way. But to have had that come thru Sunday night makes a lot of a difference even now in being online. While there is some me here, those things that I do that are made to bring Him glory are those things I savor online and offline. Read More

This one I will speak out loud
Basically because it merits a scholar or two
Broken by job this month plus more
Broken in relationship makes this number two
Broken in car means I will need a fix soon
Else what I feel is just foot gitters
This truth bugs me all the more
This is for my development in Him to be pure.

This one I will speak out loud
Make nary a mention of any claim to fame
I shall speak when spoken about worship or the King
But never more than just a vision Isaiah would bring
I would sing even to be a fan
The greatest hour of my life is yet to come
But if the words of a friend are very true
The Lord needs this time from me to with Him be one.

My minutes fifteen are just about over
I will just make a pleasant plea in the next few breaks
Mind my speech
It's mines to have
Venus no longer rises
There is no Princess Peach
I stand amongst something next
Something soon or something later
I don't know now or later
I do know I am not directed by anything but His Spirit
And from that I seek only His shelter.

Labels: poem

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I have been debating something for a while now concerning my Treo. I use this software from Chapura called KeySuite because it is probably the closest thing to Outlook on my Treo that I can get without being killed with that dreded Outlook interface. I have been using Keysuite since 2003, and have loved it. Literally. It's one of the first programs that I install on any computer that I use Outlook on so that I am able to sync my related information and keep it categorized easily.

The only problem comes when I am looking to cut the fat or use a different program and that program relies on the built in PIM applications (cal, contacts, memos, tasks) to do things. Since KeySuite is a seperate application, most programs cannot talk nice with it. And that's a problem, because to try those programs, I have to move to the built-in apps, and for a long time now, I have not been able to do that.

So what makes me think that I can do that now. I dunno. Not like there is an extra $50 hanging around either to purchase the "next best thing" named Pocket Mirror XT, also by Chapura. But man, if you have seen some of the really slick programs out there for your Palm, it does make for a heck of an interesting wonder on my part.

Then there is the fact that KeySuite is a huge program. I could use the extra space for other applications or just to run programs easier in general. Man, this is a tough one.

I can download a trial, but that only gets me so far. What do you think? Am I just too organized and need to simplify, or do I just need to step back and chill? Read More

I am attending a spiritual gifts and ministry function at church in the morning today. It should be quite interesting. They had us go online and take a spiritual gifts test. I have taken many of these before and they are alwyas interesting, most often because the results are never the cookie-cutter kind for me. There is just a bit too much I am "somewhat" strong in.

So this time I took the test three times, just from three different sites. Clearly with different methodologies and weights, and it was interesting. There was only one thing really in common with them, and that was the weight I place on tongues. Other than that, the results are quite interesting and will be nice to discuss on tomorrow :-) (and yes, I will be good for a little while)

Then today also, I worked on something that I worked on at my old job. The idea then was to redesign the front page of the County site to make more room for things they wanted to add, as well as to freshen the look some and add accessiblity and usability to it. Here is the current site and here is the one that I did. Granted, I worked on both, but I am partial to the one just created. It's just a lot cleaner and simpler than what is there now. There would need to be a good deal of work to break down mine to get the functionality in the current one, but that is moot. A good design can do that, it was built into it so to speak.

Tis kinda kool that I was able to spend the time and do this today. It has been a plesant week in the respect that I have been a lot more refreshed in doing sites and just in general. Granted, the blessing from mom helps there a whole lot, but in general, after getting past the 1st of the month, I tend to feel a bit better and more refreshed. Read More

Hey Folks, I did say that I would have a new site design done by the 1st and for the most part that did hold true. The only real missing piece was the Wordpress integration. That is something that I was not able to get done, and while I don't feel bad about it. I do feel like something else could have been done.

Check out the Wordpress side of me. There is not much there yet, but that will transistion to the web design side of me speaking (maybe, new thoughts are curtailing that move).

Also today was supposed to be the release of Issue 4 for MMM. That too has not happened, but more because I have not worked on that side of things as hard. I tell you, there are so many pieces to MMM that sometimes I feel overwhelmed. And at the same time there has been nothing done, and so much more needs to get accomplished. It's coming though.

There should be one or two more new sites in the portfolio soon. One was spoken about in the last post, and then there is another that I was working on today. I thought that I might as well do something while I am here, and doing a number on my portfolio just happens to be a good thing. The second one is based on something that I was working on while at my previous job and just had the urge to get at it again. What I will do will be close to, if not somewhat better than what is there now. Read More

This is what happens when I am up late and find that I have something that I like to do. I have been up working on this since somewhere near 10pm and now its nearing 3am and I am done working on it for the night.

This thing that I am speaking of is a new website for my friend James Tembula and his ministry called Light of Hope Ministries.

One of the more impressive things about this site is that it is really simple. The HTML and CSS are all on the page (for now) and there is simple yet effective functionality to the site. Plans are for it to get some kind of CMS behind it, and then maybe the pieces such as news and calendar, and the integration with mobile phones and email could work really well.

In the area where he is fron in Kenya, more people have mobile phones than regular computers. The idea for the site was to design something that was simple for a phone or smartphone to view, but at the same time didn't degrade when put on a desktop for those who would come from another area and have a dekstop/laptop view.

I think that I will pitch it to him once I nail out the CMS and a few graphic kinks. It looks like it would work pretty well. What do you think? Read More

Today is that day that I have not at all wanted to come. You see, today is the day where I have absoutley nothing left to pay bills (actually in the negative in savings) and still no job to be had. I called my credit union to see if I can secure a loan and need to do that so I will be up in Philly tomorrow dealing with that end of things. I really wish that God would come thru with a job right now, but all of this waiitng and nothing has happened yet. It's difficult.

Then this is also the 6 year anniversary of my father passing. Up until last night, it was a quiet meditation/thought. I miss him still, and wish that he was here in some respects, but have not one iota of an idea as to how he would advise me right now.

Today is just one of those days, I want to be able to say that it's the best day since sliced bread, but I need a miracle in the worst way right now. Read More