Archives
Categories
Our Blogroll
Meta
![[image]](http://mowser.com/img?url=http%3A%2F%2Fworld-o-crap.com%2Fshoppingcenter1bsm.JPG)
Ah, The Idealism of Youth!
Posted by s.z. on October 10th, 2008Ben Shapiro has learned what Macaulay Culkin found out some years ago: the world has little use for a child star who just isn’t young and cute anymore.Â
Ben, the former wunderkind of the Reagan set, has fallen into his role as the far-right’s twenty-something bitter and dyspeptic coot without a lot of notice. But he is now advising today’s college students on why they too should give up and accept John McCain as their destiny, so let’s give him a moment of our time.
Here’s Ben! Â An Open Letter to College Students
We’ll skip the part about how Ben knows that today’s kids are only supporting Obama because their professors brainwashed them into it since they are obviously a bunch of twits who can’t think for themselves, and we’ll start with the REALLY patronizing material.
There are probably a lot of good-looking Obama students out there. And I’m sure that it’s tempting to go sign up to phone bank next to that student wearing the “I Heart Abortion Rights” T-shirt.But there is no reason in the world why you should vote for Barack Obama.Â
Because that hottie would never give you the time of day, no matter how many womb humans you voted to kill.  Trust Ben, he knows about the bitter sting of rejection.
Behind the misty words about hope and change, there’s an agenda you will have to pay for. Yes, you. That is, when you get a job.
Because of course you don’t have one now, you freeloading whippersnapper! Oh, wait, neither does Ben.
Here, then, are the top four reasons for you to vote McCain-Palin in November.
1. Health care. You’ve heard all the pretty phrases from Obama and Biden about how health care should be universal. And we all feel bad for the uninsured guy with a bad hip, emphysema and diabetes. But here’s the problem: He’s not you.
Wow, just wow. That is pretty much the whole conservative position boiled down to one phrase: “Other people aren’t you, so screw them!”
You’re not going to be that guy for another fifty years. If Obama’s plan goes into action, however, you’re going to be paying for that guy, and a lot of guys just like him. Then when you’re old, you’ll pay for those same surgeries yourself. That’s ridiculous. Here’s a better solution: Let people pay for their own health care. That way you can get the cheap health care plan — you’re not going to need that pacemaker for a few decades — and save up for that Wii.
Yeah, let the old and sick just die, so YOU can buy a new video game system. (I realize this sounds like parody, but unless Tina Fey hacked into Town Hall, this really is Ben’s work.)
2. Social Security. Democrats constantly talk about how Republicans are going to take away everyone’s Social Security and leave the elderly on the streets to eat cat food. There’s only one problem: Nobody’s Social Security actually exists.
The elderly are going to have to live on the streets and eat cat food anyway, so why should any of YOUR money be deducted to help them?
There is no giant Social Security fund where your parents’ taxes went — that money went to the crappy public school down the block. Your parents’ Social Security will be paid for by you.
And that is bogus, man! After all, what did your parents ever do for you?
That is, unless you’re allowed to keep some of your own money and invest it. While the stock market looks risky and volatile today, over the course of decades it invariably rises. Always. In 1980, the stock market was 891. In 1990, it was 2,678. Today, it’s still well above 9,000. It’s far smarter to bet on your own stock market picks than on future taxes.
And remember, the purpose of government is to help YOU, so who cares what happens to other people, particularly old people who weren’t smart enough to be born into affluence? After all. other people aren’t you, so you don’t need to be concerned about them in the slightest. Just try not to get your shoes dirty as you step over their bodies in the streets.
3. Taxes. You’re just starting out in life. The last thing you need is the government taking all your hard-earned cash.
Yes, you’re young and full of life, and you need your money — you have that Wii system to buy.  So why should you pay taxes at all? Let that old guy with diabetes and emphysema pay — he would just waste his money on oxygen tanks if he was allowed to keep any of it anyway.Â
And Ben does bring up important point: if Obama becomes President, the government will take ALL of the hard-earned cash of those making less than $50,000 year, in order to give subsidies to the rich. Keep that in mind on election day, young college student. (There’s no need to verify this — you can trust Ben, because he’s young like you!)
Plus, you’re not going to be able to find a job in a market where small-business owners are getting smoked by Barack Obama’s fiscal irresponsibility.
Yes, if Obama is elected, you will not only have to give him all your money, you will never get a job, will have to take care of old people, and will never get that Wii you want. You are doomed, DOOMED!
4. The War on Terror. You’ve heard all of the idiotic rumors about re-institution of a draft. Three words: Ain’t. Gonna. Happen. You’ve heard about how Obama will bring flowers and posies and rainbow ponies to Afghanistan as soon as we pull out of Iraq. Three words: Ain’t. Gonna. Happen. You may have thought that the war in Iraq wasn’t a good idea, probably because you were 15 and MTV was telling you that war is bad.
You are such an idiot, college student. Man, I can’t believe I waste my time writing open letters to such a gullible stooge as you!
But whether you disagreed with the origins of the war or not, Islamist terrorists are now in Iraq. And if we don’t kill them there, they’ll take over that country and turn it into another terrorist state. If we keep surrendering countries to terrorists, then it won’t be long before we will have to institute a draft — because it won’t be long before someone hits L.A. with a suitcase nuke.
So, vote for McCain, so somebody else (someobdy who is not you) will have to spend 8 years in the Middle East fighting Islamist terrorists, while you stay home and play video games. After all, Isn’t that the Republican way?
In conclusion, young college student, vote for self-interest, greed, and narcissism: vote for John McCain.
How Martians Probed My Anus And Won The Election, By Hugh Hewitt
Posted by scott on October 9th, 2008Yesterday at lunch a friend was talking about David Foster Wallace, and how people whose work shows a tremendous breadth of mind are sometimes overwhelmed by “the finitude of life.” I remembered his words this morning when I encountered a startling example of this finitude: an event horizon of idiocy beyond which even companies like Regnery will not, or cannot pass (and these are the people who willingly published America’s Biggest Problems Are No Match for Black Belt Patriotism, and Buckle Up America, Ted Nugent Is Driving). It seems that Hugh Hewitt, author of Painting the Map Red: The Fight to Create a Permanent Republican Majority, and If It’s Not Close They Can’t Cheat: Crushing the Democrats in Every Election and Why Your Life Depends on It, has written another stunning work of Nostradamian prognostication: How Sarah Palin Won the Election…And Saved America. But despite his obvious clairvoyance, he failed to predict that no publisher would touch it without oven mitts and a pair of ice tongs.
One campaign book that has already bitten the dust is right-wing radio host Hugh Hewitt’s How Sarah Palin Won the Election … and Saved America, which the literary agent Curtis Yates sent to publishers in New York last week.
When Media Mob reached Mr. Yates by phone on Monday, he’d already given up on trying to sell the book.
“The idea was to tell the story behind the effect that Sarah Palin has had on this election and how it is and why it is that she has basically turned the election around for McCain and why it is that she is resonating with so many people in the country,” he said. “The intent was to finish the book by a week after the election, and to have it out before the inauguration.” […]
“If they were to lose the election it would have just been How Sarah Palin Saved America,” Mr. Yates said.
I agree that McCain-Palin losing the election would likely be regarded by future generations as the salvation of America, but I wouldn’t want to read a whole book about it. Just her Turn Ons and Turn Offs on the back of the gatefold.
The title of the book, Mr. Yates said, “went through a couple of different iterations.”
At one point it was How Sarah Palin Won the Election…
At another point it was Wink! Heels, Lipstick, and Rick Lowry’s Moist Underpants: The Story of America’s Most Erotic Vice Presendential Debate. Other suggestions included, Sarah T: Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic; Erection ‘08: How Sarah Palin Made the Right Wing See Shooting Stars, and There’s a Girl in My Soup. It’s rumored that Hugh has also failed to find a publisher for his next proposed project, an authorized biography entitled, C*NT! The Cindy McCain Story.
BONUS:Â Baby Palin!
The Periwig Is Back
Posted by scott on October 9th, 2008Reasonable Conservative Jon Swift is back with some insightful musings on how McCain can turn bat-shit insanity into ballots!
Many conservatives were disappointed that McCain didn’t call his opponent a “terrorist†or threaten to kill him as some of his supporters at rallies have done. I know I wasn’t alone in thinking that McCain just wasn’t mean or angry enough during the debates. So with one more debate and less than a month to go before the election, it’s time his handlers let McCain be McCain. It may be the only chance we have to keep That One from winning the election.
You would think the McCain campaign had already learned its lesson when it excessively coached Sarah Palin. Trying to get her to read newspapers and study the issues of the day was a disaster. Americans saw right through their attempts to make her seem like someone she was not. But once she was free to be herself and no longer constrained by the idea that she actually had to answer questions posed to her, Palin was able to wink herself into the hearts of the American people. Americans love the unleashed Palin and I’m sure they would love an unhinged McCain, too.
If You Can’t Deliver Ridiculous Smears, What Good Are You?
Posted by scott on October 7th, 2008Andy McCarthy tells his fellow Cornerites that they’re all insane, then levels his gimlet-eyed, prosecutorial gaze at McCain, and shouts, J’accuse!
We have a disaster here — which is what you should expect when you delegate a non-conservative to make the conservative (nay, the American) case. […]
Now, as the night went along, did you get the impression that Obama comes from the radical Left? Did you sense that he funded Leftist causes to the tune of tens of millions of dollars? Would you have guessed that he’s pals with a guy who brags about bombing the Pentagon? Would you have guessed that he helped underwrite raging anti-Semites? Would you come away thinking, “Gee, he’s proposing to transfer nearly a trillion dollars of wealth to third-world dictators through the UN”? […]
Great. Memo to McCain Campaign: Someone is either a terrorist sympathizer or he isn’t; someone is either disqualified as a terrorist sympathizer or he’s qualified for public office. You helped portray Obama as a clealy qualified presidential candidate who would fight terrorists.If that’s what the public thinks, good luck trying to win this thing.
With due respect, I think tonight was a disaster for our side. I’m dumbfounded that no one else seems to think so. Obama did everything he needed to do, McCain did nothing he needed to do. What am I missing?
I think it’s your soul, Andy. You might want to check Lost and Found in the morning.
A Focus Group In The Woodpile
Posted by scott on October 7th, 2008At the Corner, Jonah blinks in wide-eyed wonder like Alfalfa, and asks in a voice of pure childlike innocence whether all those Buckwheats weren’t tainting the He-Man Obama Haters Club:
This is purely a methodological question. If the reporting on blacks said they were torn between the candidates I wouldn’t be asking this question. But his focus group is allegedly a collection of “swing voters” from Virginia. And it appears there are a relatively large number of blacks in the focus group. I keep reading that blacks are supporting Obama somewhere between 95 and 99 percent. So, purely as a statistical matter, how do you explain having — by my very rough guestimate — 10% of Luntz’s swing voters being black? I’m just curious.
Just wondering. Just puzzlin’ a wee bit. Don’t mean anything by it. I’m sure they’re all very nice people, taken on an individual basis, but the blacks, they do have a hive mind, so really those cable news folks might as well have given their response-o-meters to the Borg.
He Thought Of The Perfect Putdown. On The Bus Home
Posted by scott on October 7th, 2008
Over at WorldNetDaily, Dennis Prager, “one of America’s most respected and popular nationally syndicated radio talk-show hosts,” conducts a probing, if imaginary interview with Katie Couric, and by the end of it she’s a quivery, sobbing, mascara-streaked mess. Now I’m no fan of Couric, but the way Prager dominates, even humiliates, her during their fictional colloquy makes it extremely difficult to watch, and I was tempted more than once to turn away. And yet, these are serious times, voters are confronted by serious issues, and no matter how uncomfortable or strenuous it may prove, we owe it to ourselves and our country to face the fake truth.
Gotcha questions for Katie Couric
Just as Charlie Gibson did in his interview with Sarah Palin, Katie Couric set out to humiliate the Republican vice-presidential candidate with a series of “gotcha” questions.
Like, “What’s your zip code?” “Name three members of your immediate family.” And, “if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you like to see Senator Obama lynched from after you’ve worked your supporters into a bloodthirsty rage?”
This tactic – rarely employed with major liberal candidates – could be used equally effectively against Couric, or most any other liberal member of the television news media. It would be highly instructive to have Couric asked questions in the same way in which she (and Gibson) asked questions of Palin.
Before we enter the voting booth this November 4th, it’s important that we all know exactly what kind of vice president Katie Couric would make.
Q: Critics of the war in Iraq argue that prior to the invasion of Iraq, America had never attacked a country that had no plans to attack it. How, then, do you explain the Korean War?
Wait, wait, I’ve got a better one…You say man evolved from apes. Well then, how come we still have monkeys? Explain that!
On my radio show, I have asked this question of some of the most celebrated names among liberal intellectuals, and they had little or nothing to say.
“Some would look at me pityingly, or glance at their watch, but most just sighed heavily and reached for a blunt object…”
Q: Many Americans believe that the most important way of understanding the effects of taxation on government revenues is the Laffer Curve. What is your opinion about this?
I’d say “many Americans” couldn’t tell a Laffer Curve from Kim Kardashian’s ass.
Anyway, Dennis has other hard-hitting Queries for Katie, like “Q: Is there any point in a woman’s pregnancy at which you would call an abortion immoral?” because with constitutional government now a quaint and obsolete concept, power belongs to whoever can grab it, and for all we know, by this time next year Supreme Court justices will be nominated by a conclave of former morning show hosts and confirmed by a two thirds majority of the judges on American Idol. He also wants to know what Katie’s favorite Federalist Paper is (personally, Dennis likes “the Cute One,” but Charlie Gibson likes “the Quiet One”).
Q: In a question to Palin, you said that “women make 77 cents for every dollar a man makes.” If that is so, why don’t employers only hire women whenever possible?
“A prostitute standing on a street corner charges 50 dollars for a blowjob. A man, whose manufacturing job has been recently outsourced to India, opens his own business on the opposite corner, offering blowjobs for 30 dollars. Now, my mastery of economic theory, as expressed in crude line drawings, demonstrates that any rational consumer would buy sexual services from the man, because the lower cost per blowjob translates into increased purchasing power, and thus more blowjobs!
I defy you to prove me wrong.”
Q: What did you think of any articles in the most recent issues of Commentary, The Weekly Standard, National Review or any other conservative journal? Or do you only read liberal writing?
Because believe you me, there’s nothing funnier than William Kristol expounding on military strategy like Sun Tzu with a disabling head wound.
So, now that the mainstream media has gotten a taste of their own Gotcha!, which questions would you like to ask Dennis?
A 10.5 On The Goldberg Scale Of Scumbaggery
Posted by scott on October 7th, 2008Just as countless spermatozoa are wasted in the process of fertilization, Jonah Goldberg spends most of his current piece in the LA Times spewing a multitude of superfluous — yet energetically wriggling — words about Joe Biden’s “gasbaggery,” and how the Senator from Delaware “makes stuff up.” But just like the bundle of joy which arrives nine months later, more adorable than you could possibly have anticipated, Jonah surprises and delights the reader by delivering a concluding statement of such transcendent imbecility, that it can serve as a coda to both his column and career:
Palin “lost” because she’s bad at being a dishonest politician.
I honestly don’t know how even Jonah could top this. But on a totally unrelated note, I’ve heard that if you commit suicide immediately after completing your masterpiece, it really boosts the resale value.
Civility Be Damned!
Posted by s.z. on October 7th, 2008David “I Was the Smarter Brother, and Look Where It Got Me” Limbaugh has a new Town Hall column out today: “Don’t Go Wobbly; Follow Sarah.”  In it, he applauds Sarah Palin for fighting dirty, and urges other Republicans to do more of the same, basically to pay back liberals for criticizing Bush and Cheney.
But while cheering for Sarah’s slimy “Omana palls around with terrorists” attacks, the lesser Limbaugh seems to go even lower. Note the following passages regarding Obama’s dealings with 60’s Weatherman/current college professor William Ayers (emphasis added).
Democrats are crying foul because she’s confronting Barack Obama for his worrisome attitudes about America and his way-more-than-casual association with unrepentant domestic terrorist William Ayers. Some squeamish conservatives are counseling that we ignore this issue either because it is unpleasant and unfair or that it’s a distraction from the “substantive” issues.
Nonsense. This issue is neither unfair nor a diversion. It is imperative that we learn the extent of Obama’s intimacy with this man. […]
Indeed, we must applaud Sarah Palin for standing up to her opponents and returning hostile fire.Â
We’re ready for her to lead the charge, not only on Obama’s sordid relationships but also in articulating the monumental differences between the liberal and conservative approaches to governance.
Doesn’t it sound like Davey is suggesting that Obama not only attended a few board meetings that Ayers was also present for, but had an affair with him? Is that how David is suggesting that conservatives “fight back” against Democrats: by starting the rumor that Obama had a interracial homosexual affair with a domestic terrorist? Wow, get Pastor Swank on this one STAT!
Anyway, Davey then goes on to state that the Democratic candidates don’t deserve any civility from the McCain/Palin campaign because liberals were mean to Bush.  He then goes so far as to criticize McCain for exhibiting “collegiality” and for believing in global warming. Or does he go a little further there too???
I don’t know about you, but I’m not particularly interested in some bipartisan love fest in which Joe Biden tells us he loves John McCain or John McCain lavishes high praise on global warming fearmonger Al Gore.
So there you have it: John McCain has participated in a gay threesome with Biden and Gore. I guess that means that Sarah Palin is the only candidate fit to be President.
So keep it up, Sarah, and maybe others will follow your courageous example.
You know, I bet the National Enquirer will, even if nobody else has the courage.
Anway, it’s nice for the wingnuts that they have found a candidate who resonates with them. The rest of America should really think about whether they want someone with those kind of credentials a heartbeat away from the presidency.
Glass Houses/Stones
Posted by s.z. on October 6th, 2008What is this country coming to? Why, I just learned that one of the Vice Presidential candidates has been palling around with traitors, and working with those who consider America so imperfect that they would secede from this great land. In fact, this candidate has even been sleeping with at least one of them!
Yes, I am shocked and alarmed to hear that Sarah Palin has been closely associated with one Todd Palin, an America-hater who was a card-carrying member of the Alaska Independence Party (AIP) from 1995 to 2002.
And just what is the AIP? Well, let’s ask their official web site:
Q: What is the Alaskan Independence Party?
A: An Alaskan political party whose members advocate a range of solutions to the conflicts between federal and local authority; from advocacy for state’s rights, through a return to territorial status, all the way to complete independence and nationhood status for Alaska.
And if they did become an independent nation, I guess Sarah Palin would be their queen. And then it would be lese majesty for Tina Fey to make fun of her!
And what did AIP founder, Joe Vogler, have to say about America (the country that Sarah claims to believe is so exceptional)? Well, here’s a quote from that AIP web site:
“I’m an Alaskan, not an American. I’ve got no use for America or her damned institutions.”
As we know, a candidate should be judged by the people with whom they are tangentially associated. So, I think it’s pretty obvious that Sarah is an America-hater who would nuke Washington if she ever got the keys to our atomic weapons,
Interestingly enough, Lynette Clark, chairwoman of the AIP, had this to say about Sarah Palin herself:
“I’ve admired Sarah from the first time I met her at the 2006 (AIP) convention,” which Palin also addressed. […] “I thought to myself, ‘My God, she sounds just like Joe Vogler.’”
So, quiz time: who said the following, Joe or Sarah?
![[image]](http://mowser.com/img?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.akip.org%2Fimages%2Fjoe.jpg)
    
 Volger                     Palin, addressing AIP convention
1. “The fires of Hell are glaciers compared to my hate for the American government, and I won’t be buried under their damn flag.â€
2. “There is more Justice in a whorehouse than in the Supreme Court. And if they don’t like they know where they can go.”
3. “The problem with you John Birchers’ is that you are too damn liberal.â€Â Â
4. “As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.”
Yes, it was a trick: Sarah said all of the above.
Anyway, as you go about your business today, here’s another quote to think about — it comes from a San Francisco Chronicle story (” Palin swings through state - and at Obama“) about Sarah’s appearances in Northern CA.
Palin was introduced to the adoring crowd Sunday by prominent Silicon Valley financier Tom Siebel as “the embodiment of pure, unadulterated good.”
I bet that good took a major nosedive in the market after THAT announcment!
Effort-Free Blogging, The NRO Corner Way
Posted by scott on October 4th, 2008With all this talk during the debates of Main Street Versus Wall Street, I thought I would pass along this email from my friend [Name Redacted], who has witnessed for herself the triumph of conservative economic principles at the grass roots level. And while I realize that Jonah Goldberg, K-Lo and the other members of their Day Care group also stoop to padding out their posts with emails, this one at least has the virtue of being real.
As you may have heard, my mom is the chairman of the Ways and Means Committee in the Republican Womens group she belongs to.
However, there’s a problem, because whenever she organizes fundraising events, no one wants to contribute anything above what the event actually costs. Â So for a trip to Knott’s Berry Farm (to see the replica of Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell because they are SuperPatriotsâ„¢) everyone insists on paying only what the trip actually costs.
This means the organization makes no money for next year because no one will put in anything that is not for themselves.
I know you must be astonished by a Republican group who will not spend any money for the benefit of anyone else, or for the future. Â So they will have no money next year and won’t be able to do anything or donate any money to any causes (lapel pins?)
It’s shocking. Â I hope you were sitting down during that.
You are viewing a mobilized version of this site...
View original page here
