Even though I'm freed in Christ from self and sin, and rejoice in my new identity in Him, my healing hasn't come easily or instantly. Maybe because I've been a bit of an artful dodger instead of living out of my union with Him.

If we're only able to trust to the extent we intimately know someone, I'm afraid for many years I didn't know Jesus very well. I belonged to Him, and my salvation was secure. But I had only begun the knowing. 

Funny, but the more I know Him, the more I sense my need. To my relief, the only thing grace requires is a need. "The bigger the hole, the more grace there is to fill it," someone once said. True. And so this same grace reveals through pain and troubles, just how broken I really am. 

This is not something the unwounded life, the self-sufficient life, can relate to. Only the broken heart cries for healing, not ashamed to admit sheer need of the One who loves and gives, protects and heals.

Yet we're slow to wait on Him, distracted by many things.  I, for one, have turned to others for remedies before I ever let Him feed me the mystery of His hidden manna. 
                 
But in turning back, I find that He works in quiet, little by little, revealing Himself, dissolving self-focus, increasing His vision; healing and satisfying need where the heart is surrendered. This is my one-day-at-a-time healing, where I'm conscious of His presence, His Spirit drawing me to the written Word, to worship and offer up my need. There in the quiet, I'm nourished. There too, I'm baffled at any prior resistance, knowing full well the need is too great to ignore Him.

All these years I collected quite a library of truths in my head from the Bible, desiring to change; eager not only to escape any trifle or pain - but to cover it up, and appear oh-so-spiritual and do for others. I certainly believed (and still do) that "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free," but a cerebral study of truths couldn't heal me, only Jesus.  

My healing comes the more I know and experience Him as my life. No shortcuts. The regurgitated spiritual food of others can't sustain me, only His manna will do. And in my brokenness, powerlessness, and weakness... Jesus rises up strong in me. 

Through the Lord, I'm learning to stop 'jerking' from crisis to crisis, and rest in radical trust. Underneath are the Everlasting Arms. Amen!

 

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away... Oh, wait a minute - that's another article:-)

 Let's start again. 

Once, when I thought I understood the Christian life, I wrote a lot of devotionals about dying to self.  I encouraged others to keep dying to self, which probably triggered some misconceptions, if not downright confusion. People got frustrated.  I got frustrated!  After all, we all thought (and had been taught) that dying to self is the key to victorious Christian living.

But is that what the bible really says?  

I don't think so, and I'll tell you why.

As believers in Christ, we've already been crucified with Christ (see Galatians 2:20; Romans 6:6).  Yet we keep struggling to do what He's already done. I think it's because we don't understand our new identity. Why else would we continue to lament, berate, and beat up something's that already dead?  

Old things have passed away, y'all. Would Jesus die for us, only to abandon us in a struggle to decrease or improve self in our own strength?  Self can't be improved... Jesus didn't die to improve mankind. He saved us from our sickness and sin by transplanting NEW life into us.  I love this, because it means I don't have to patch myself up anymore - just let His life generate in me. 

Some may still ask, so what are we to do then? 

Believe!  Receive!  Because He's done everything for us. 

Romans 6:7 tells us to count ourselves dead to sin... and alive to God. ""

This new life we live ... is Christ.  

We live with Him, in Him, and through Him. And He lives with us, in us, and through us.  We don't have to wait until Heaven to experience this reality. What we struggle with may be old thinking patterns, but even so, He renews our minds through the Scriptures, if we let Him.

I don't really have to understand how He does it, but I trust Him, and rest in Him ... like a branch draws sap from the tree. ♥

 Happy March, dear friends. I'm posting a widget for Grace Walk Radio to see if it works okay on this site. Will also place it on the sidebar. Let me know what you think. Blessings! 

I used to think that if I read my bible, attended church, and avoided "big" sins, I was a good little Christian, prepared for the worst. All the while, I was clinging to myself without realizing it.

Fast forward some years later, and I have to admit...at times I am still clinging to myself.

But God is faithful.

He brings me to a peculiar place where I have to stop everything until I'm calm and yielded again. I know better than congratulate myself for even realizing this, because my flesh runs contrary to all His ways. It is His Spirit that gives me light... and Life.

Be thankful for the path that leads to brokenness, for only then will we discover who God truly is...in our darkest hour...when we feel hemmed in.  

I think about recent losses and stumbling through grief. Two friends have died, one expected, and the other a complete shock. One has gone silent on me, one is preaching to me, one needs me, and my own three sisters are habitually preoccupied just as I need a tender word. But in God's providence, all these things serve me well. Very well. So I dare not complain. You see, I'm learning who the Lord is... in my loneliness.  He sends blessings from unexpected places, not always the places and people we seek.

My moods do change, and they say there's a pill for this, but only God's love pierces my heart's darkness. Where before I felt abandoned, neglected, and totally misunderstood, today I woke up like a little bird whose cage doors were flung wide open!  I'm captured by His love, and free to soar above all that ails me. He refuels me just as the need increases, and reminds me - the door to this cage of mine was open all along. 

I am better off this way.

You know, when I finally turned to the Lord in my twenties, it wasn't because someone threatened me with fire and brimstone. Nobody said God was angry, or that He  'had it in for me' if I didn't change my selfish ways. Nope. The message I heard was simple: Jesus loved me so much that He stretched His arms out on a Cross and let them crucify His flesh, so He could spill His blood for my sin. Not only did He die for me, He rose from the grave...for me.

Who can reject a love that fierce?  Many will, and do. But He offers complete forgiveness, unconditional love, new Life in His Spirit, and a Royal invitation into the Kingdom of God as His sons and daughters. Nothing can snatch us out of His hand. I repeat, nothing.

I didn't realize I'd stepped into Eternity the moment I first believed.

Did you?   

Most of us think eternity begins the moment we reach heaven. Eternity is being with Jesus and experiencing His indwelling life right now. To have life everlasting is to live and move and have our being in Him now and forever, knowing we'll never be separated.

Contrary to what we hear, we don't have to 'wing' it until we get Home. We have His indwelling Spirit, and all His love. His Spirit causes us to forfeit the fear that's paralyzed us, to put away our false identities, and to walk in joyful intimacy. But this life won't flow from steps and formulas and self-help Christianity. This life is Jesus Himself whom we receive by faith. How cool is that?  I don't deserve Him, neither do you. But His good Kingdom is always about getting what we don't deserve.

It's humbling, yes, amazing - this life of grace. What are you waiting for?  Receive and open your Royal Invitation.  It's not just for salvation, but real Life by His Spirit... day to day.

"For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace" (John 1:16).

Happy February! A new blog post is in the works. Until then, all bloggers and writers can find me over at Light for the Writer's Soul today for some writing reflections. 

Nellie met me at a favorite spot to talk about a few things. It had been awhile; I was happy to see her. Interestingly enough, she'd just returned from an all-day teaching on grace. We decided to kick it around over a couple of spicy tea lattes. I asked about the seminar.

"It was good. But . . .I dunno. A lot of the message seems to clash with what I've been taught, you know?  Not sure the teacher was right about everything."

"Really?" I said.  

"Well, all this talk about grace sounds good. I'm just worried that if we go overboard with it, we might as well..."

"...give folks a license to sin?"

"Yeah, don't you think?" she said, smiling. "The gospel has to be kept balanced, you know. That's what Pastor Jiles used to say."

"Balanced with what, Nellie?" I asked. 

"Well, we're saved by grace and we're forgiven - I realize that - but what about obedience?" she said. "We need to follow His commands and live according to His Word, or we can't expect to be blessed. That's what I'm reading in my bible, and what I've been taught all my adult life. Sounds to me like those grace preachers put far more emphasis on grace than anything else!  I'm just not comfortable with it." 

I choked, spewed my tea, and chuckled. She handed me a napkin and laughed a little, too. "What?  Did I say something funny?"  

"Naw, it's just that you sound like me not too long ago," I said. "Can you hear the irony in your own words?  You said on the phone that the whole reason for going to that teaching was because you're tired of trying to measure up and felt like a crappy Christian -  how is that anymore comfortable?"

She grew quiet, sipped her latte, and sighed. 

"Jesus is Grace and Truth," I said. "And grace and truth are inseparable. It may be that you just haven't understood how grace really works, that's all."

"I'm trying," she said.

For the next couple hours Nellie poured her heart out. It was good, sharing the Lord. We went over some teachings that conflicted with the truths of the gospel. Deep down, Nellie needed a revelation into these things, something I couldn't give her, but the desire was there, and so was He. As a Christian, she was tired of feeling like a failure. Boy, I knew the feeling. The bud of her surrender had opened; I encouraged her confession of need. 

Do we understand the essence of grace?  I used to think grace is a doctrine. Grace is a Person. And anyone who tells us that the gospel is Jesus PLUS anything else we have to do, is gravely mistaken. The gospel means "good news," not "beat down and over-committed."  The Lord not only forgives us of all sin and assures us of heaven, but He gives us His indwelling Spirit right now to empower us. This is His life, not a Christian code to follow.     

So I wonder: Are we living under the old covenant (law), the new covenant (grace), or some mixture of both? One covenant causes us to strive harder to do right, get hung up on behavior, and feel miserable when we fail. The other covenant leads us into rest, security, and a quiet trust as the Lord works in us to accomplish and enable. Many of us, because of mixed messages or misunderstanding, tend to vascillate between two covenants.

Nellie, though, is finding relief from her spiritual fatigue and the stress of religious expectation. She's learning to understand how God really sees her, to live in relationship with Him, and - by revelation of His Spirit - to hear His language of grace in the Scriptures. After years of living between tension and regret, she's letting the Lord breathe life into her as she relaxes in His mercy. Just the other day she wrote to say this:

"You know, I used to think it was up to me to develop this kind of spiritual life. I was wrong. All I have to do is receive from Him."

That's powerful. That's grace!  It's all about receiving. We can't earn it, or work it up. But as we understand the workings of grace, we realize that everything we need for life and godliness comes directly from Him; we receive it by faith. No use getting sidetracked with behavior and rules anymore. With Christ residing within us, it's now about relationship. His values become our values; His desires become our desires. What we couldn't do in our flesh, we do by His Spirit.

The only requirement for grace is the need, and He gives grace to the humble. When we give up the striving, we're ready to receive.

Please join me again for a little tea and therapy as we explore this life of grace.

(*Nellie is a fictitious name. So is *Pastor Jiles).