[ http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=29280458

The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

Discussions on grieving infant death & stillbirth; only the strength of the Lord makes it possible to tell the tale...

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Half Way to Fifty

I'm 45 today. It's hard to believe that 45 years have gone by. They went so quickly. It's unlikely that I have 45 more waiting in the future. I'm trying to make the best out of what I have left--trying to salvage all the carelessness with which I pissed away the last 45 years. I don't expect to accomplish great things by the standards of the world, but I do so desperately want to hear God proclaim: "Well done thou good & faithful servant" when I inevitably come face to face with Him. He is my all & everything, and I want Him to shine through me. I want His presence to go before me. I want to do better at surrendering to His plan. I want Him to bless me and keep me; I want His face to shine on me and be gracious unto me; I want Him to lift up His countenance upon me and give me peace...

: Name: 2QTsInHeaven; Location: High Desert SW

Been married to Brian since June 21, 1985. He turned 46 in March; I turned 46 in July. We have a grown son, Ben, who was born in July, 1986. We were barren thereafter until 2003, when we had another miracle pregnancy. It was a wonderful time of recapturing youth & vigor, and we were very excited to be so blessed. But sadly, Abigail died in utero the week of her due date thanks to some very crappy medical providers masquerading as knowlegable professionals. Consequently, she was stillborn on December 6, 2003 after nearly 50 hours of sorrowed labor. She may have been born still, but she was still born and is still loved. Sixteen months later, we were blessed again with a third child. Anne came into the world after yet another wonderful pregnancy. She was born April 28, 2005 via c-section. Sadly, we discovered after her birth that she had a heart defect caused by trisomy 18. She died of congestive heart failure, at home in her mother's arms on June 28, 2005 at 61 days 10 hours and five minutes old. She was a wonderful sparkly child, who along with her siblings, are the subject of most of my writings.

View my complete profile