Radical Womanhood

In the fourth session of this year's single women's discipleship group, we looked at the topic of sanctification. Our homework was to memorize 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 and to read the following materials:

- "Gospel-Driven Sanctification" by Jerry Bridges

- "Watch Your Language" by E. Bradley Beevers

- Chapter four from Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?

We began by talking about the differences between justification and sanctification. Then we turned to Jerry Bridges' article to talk about why the process of progressive sanctification must rest on the gospel and not our own efforts. (If you haven't read it before, I highly recommend it you check it out. Thanks to Modern Reformation for posting it online.) As he writes, "We must always keep focused on the gospel because it is in the nature of sanctification that as we grow, we see more and more of our sinfulness. Instead of driving us to discouragement, though, this should drive us to the gospel. It is the gospel believed every day that is the only enduring motivation to pursue progressive sanctification even in those times when we don't seem to see progress."

From there, we progressed to "Watch Your Language." The premise of this article (from the Journal of Biblical Counseling) is how people use language to minimize responsibility for their behavior. In my opinion, the classic example of that is the politically-spun non-apology of "I'm sorry if I said something that offended you." There's nothing there of true repentance. The speaker is only belatedly sorry that you were offended. As Beevers writes:

Now let's tackle a slightly less obvious case: how people use language to minimize responsibility for their behavior. First, consider how the world speaks of obvious sins. We live in a society where excessive spending is common. Yet we rarely hear the word greed used to describe it. Such a lifestyle is merely "comfortable." Patterns of disobedience are "problems," not sins. Grumbling or complaining are "saying what I feel" or "being honest." Even in the church we sometimes call speaking evil of another "sharing" or "seeking counsel," rather than gossip or slander.

When you can describe the problem in biblical terms, it is so much easier to find and apply the biblical solutions. The goal of this article is not to institute the word police, but rather to help us understand how accurate words can help us accurately diagnosis sin, thereby leading us to the source of real change.

We concluded with looking at a chapter titled, "A Woman of Noble Character." It is a chapter that kicks off a study of the Proverbs 31 woman as seen through the eyes of single women. Verse 10 commends the noble character of a woman (ishshah in Hebrew) whose worth exceeds rare jewels. The King James Version says she is a "virtuous woman." The English Standard Version calls her "an excellent wife." The New International Version calls her "a wife of noble character." No matter how this Hebrew word for woman is translated (in the context of her wifely role or not), verse 30 says that a women who fears the Lord is to be commended. These and the qualities of all the verses in between are virtues for all Christian woman, no matter the season of life. Then we looked at how this chapter outlines noble character in a single woman's life: trust in God when your hopes are deferred; contentment while you are waiting; faithfulness to sow to the future even when you are in tears; graciousness when others receive what you would like; and humility to pray to be a blessing, rather than to receive a blessing.

I hope you are enjoying tagging along with d-group this year!

A few weeks ago, I was sitting with two young men who told me about their convictions regarding abortion. They said they often regard with judgment the previous generations who endured such wrongs as slavery or the Holocaust--how could they sit by and do nothing about such a great evil in their midst? Then one of them said to me, "But I wonder if my own children will one day ask me, 'Daddy, what did you do about abortion when a third of your generation was being slaughtered?'"

Conviction weighed heavily on us all after such a piercing question.

This is the root of the cultural disconnect on the topic of abortion. Since Roe v. Wade,  neonatal science has since progressed so remarkably that we can see amazing details in utero--facial features at eight weeks, fingernails at twelve weeks--and thus the viability argument was trumped by a woman's choice and her presumed right to privacy. But what is at the root of "choice"? It is the Darwinian choice of the strongest determining the survival of the weakest.

Here's where feminist thinking absolutely confounds me: Adult women have the choice to terminate the life of infant women. How is it that this promotes women's rights?! Yet, feminist activists continue to hold up the "coat hanger" as the supreme problem -- the threat of adult women dying due to botched, illegal abortions and/or the inability to easily obtain an abortion. That was the motivation behind feminist Linda Hirshman's latest leap into the public opinion fray with her abortion piece in this weekend's Washington Post. In "If Roe Goes, Our State Will Be Worse Than You Think," she presented a hypothesis of what would happen at the state level with various abortion laws:

How would state laws forbidding pregnant women to leave be enforced? The Hope Clinic in Granite City, Ill., is just 10 minutes from the Missouri border. Police from the prohibiting state can just take the license plates of local vehicles at the abortion clinics across the state lines and arrest the women when they re-enter the state. Or a traffic stop can produce a search. Tips from pharmacy workers, disapproving parents or disappointed boyfriends can alert the police to arrest the pregnant woman for intent to seek an abortion out of state. The state law may allow interested parties to seek injunctions to stop her from leaving.

It seems a long way from McCain's bold statement that life begins at conception to police cars waiting on an abortion clinic side street in Granite City. But it's not. If the law were to take this post- Roe course, Americans' lives would be determined by their state citizenship in ways unseen since the Civil War. Professional legal scholars have traced the developments step by step. As constitutional scholar Richard Fallon of Harvard said recently, "If Roe were to go, it would not go gently."

But a botched illegal abortion means that two lives have been ended, not just one. Feminists only see the one and lament that one life. I lament them both.

Now that a generation has come of age since Roe v. Wade, some can speak up for themselves. That's the case of Gianna Jessen, a saline abortion survivor. She has one powerful testimony! She says at one point, "Now I am just compelled to say this: If abortion is merely about women's rights, ladies and gentlemen, then what were mine? There was not a radical feminist standing up and yelling about how my rights were being violated that day. In fact, my life was being snuffed out in the name of women's rights." Yet she bears no ill will because she knows she is an object of mercy, a trophy of God's grace as a follower of Jesus Christ.

Here is Gianna's testimony. I strongly encourage you to watch it. Part One is her life story, which is one of the best investments of ten minutes you will make:

Part Two is just as good. If you are a man, you need to hear her challenge to protect the vulnerable:

The blogosphere is well-populated with summaries and links to materials from this weekend's Desiring God conference, "The Power of Words and the Wonder of God." But I want to add my two cents because I think the topic of words is an important one for women. Though I'm not sure the old adage of women using twice as many words in a day than men is entirely accurate, I do think our words carry a lot of weight. They either build up or tear down the relationships we are commanded to nurture. That's why I want to highlight some of this weekend's messages for you.

Sinclair Ferguson mined James 3 for us in "The Tongue, the Bridle, and the Blessing." There were so many well-crafted gems in his message that I couldn't keep up with my notes. One sentence that stood out to me was when he said that the misuse of the tongue can render all of the other graces of life negligible. That's not a direct quote, but the essence of it. He also gave us twenty Jonathan Edwards-style resolutions that can be developed from the book of James. I wrote down about a third and got hopelessly behind in doing so. Fortunately, Justin Taylor posted them all on his blog. In the end, Dr. Ferguson wrapped it up with the simple plea, "Be merciful to me, a tongue-using sinner." Amen and amen.

Mark Driscoll's message was no doubt startling on several levels to people, which it was intended to be. He spoke on "Christ, Controversy and Cutting Words." But toward the end of his message, he spoke candidly on the atmosphere and opposition of the city in which he ministers. I was stunned at what his church is enduring right now. (You'll have to listen -- it's in point five.) In that context, he reminded us to pray for our shepherds. He told us to pray for our shepherds more than we criticize them, or email them, or blog about them. And pray for their wives to endure the criticism and to be steadfast encouragers to their husbands. Amen and amen.

Finally, I want to highlight Paul Tripp's message, "War of Words." If you've never read his book by the same name, this message is a must. You can read it, listen to it, or watch it (and I highly recommend watching it because Paul's physical comedy won't be as meaningful without it). The take-home point is important: I am my greatest communication problem. For the single ladies, I also want to point out a hilarious riff on dating toward the end of the message. Paul said, "Western culture dating, in my opinion, is just a step above used-car sales."

This is just a sample of the wonderful material presented at this weekend's conference. Thanks to the generosity of Desiring God, you can read, watch, or listen to all of the messages and panel discussions that are now posted on their website. There's also a goldmine of information in the speaker interview videos that were created to promote the conference.

(Photo: Paul Tripp at the conference.)

I'm headed today to Minneapolis for the Desiring God 2008 National Conference. I have the immense privilege of doing my first book-signing there for the debut of Radical Womanhood. I just received my advance copies of the book -- I can't believe it's finally here!

As exciting as it is to see the book in print, I am equally excited to announce what its sales will support. My first book, Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?, supports both Shared Hope International and Covenant Mercies from a portion of the sales proceeds. This time, a portion of the proceeds from Radical Womanhood will go to the Jubilee Campaign USA.

Jubilee Campaign USA promotes the human rights and religious liberty of ethnic and religious minorities in countries which imprison, terrorize or otherwise oppress them. Jubilee also advocates against the exploitation of children, paying particular attention to the sex industry in Asia. It was founded in the early '90s by a friend of mine, Ann Buwalda. Ann is a dedicated, talented, and hard-working lawyer who makes Jubilee her personal ministry. Jubilee works to free child slaves in India, to aid victims of religious persecution in Pakistan, to advocate for freedom in North Korea, to care for orphans of religious violence in Indonesia, and lobbies at the United Nations and Capitol Hill for human rights and religious freedom.

I encourage you to take a moment to read further about Jubilee and consider how you can get involved.

When I visited Cornwall, England, in 2003, I was all about the cream tea. I was with friends who knew my penchant for tea and they had arranged for a special tea on my birthday. However, every time I saw a sign for tea in a shop window, I stopped immediately and went in. Why wait for just one special experience when you can have a variety of them?!

That's why I knew I had encountered a kindred spirit when I came across an article in the Washington Post travel section titled "Getting Creamed in Cornwall:"

I had fallen madly in love. With clotted cream.

Yes, I swooned over something that sounds like you should put a Band-Aid on it rather than eat it. But, oh, the stuff was glorious: unctuous, buttery, rich. Every afternoon of my trip, I slathered it on scones snatched from tiered silver trays in hushed hotel tearooms.

And, like most of those smitten with a new love, I didn't bother to ask for details. I vaguely assumed it was heavy cream, whipped almost into butter but stopped just short of that transformation.

Returning home to the United States, I pined for clotted cream. It wasn't to be found at even the swankiest hotel tea services, where whipped cream was foisted on me instead. That started the questions: What, actually, is this rich, golden goo? How is it made? And why are the Brits keeping it all for themselves?

As it says in the sub-headline: "A search for the best clotted cream is the perfect excuse to explore the English countryside." The rest of the high-calorie expedition can be read online.

Photo By R. Paul Herman, courtesy of The Washington Post

i am proud to announce that it is national punctuation day a day in which we celebrate those little marks that help us communicate with punctuation we know the difference between a plural and a possessive for example however apostrophe abuse is making that distinction nearly impossible these days as people routinely use apostrophes for plural words and other things i can rant about anyway i found it took me nearly twice as long to type this because i keep having to go back and erase the punctuation that inherently longs to participate in such a blog post nonetheless heres to national punctuation day

and heres a shoutout to the man who gave us a modern form of punctuation the beloved emoticon ha ha without punctuation you have no idea if i mean that or not

:-)

happy national punctuation day may you never ever abuse the poor apostrophe

cheers

A few years ago, my church developed a nine-month discipleship course for single women. The twice-monthly, two-hour sessions are designed to provide a basic overview of Christian issues from a feminine perspective. Although we are mentoring single women in this course, the materials really are useful for every woman. Since many of our homework materials are available online for free, I thought I would post these materials for anyone who might be interested in using them, too. We're three sessions into the course, so I'll post those sessions now and, Lord willing, update them each week as we go along.

First Week: Introduction
This meeting is an administrative meeting, where we go over the purposes of the course, the commitment expected from each member, and the schedule. Then we get to know each other, sharing brief introductions. This is also where the course notebooks are handed out and the homework for each session is outlined. The notebook contains the audio material and articles that supplement the two core texts for the program, Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney and Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? by yours truly. (If you decide to organize one of these courses, feel free to poke fun at my book title. I do, too, and it helps women relax about reading such an ominously titled text! I make sure they understand that though the title expresses a common fear among women, the substance of the book is really about how to apply Proverbs 31 to a single woman's life.) Then we note the homework for the following week, making sure everyone knows to have these materials read before our next meeting and highlighting the Scripture memory verse.

Second Week: The Gospel
In this session, we focus on the gospel as the foundation for change. Many of us can assume the gospel, but we really don't apply it on a daily basis. During our discussion, we talk about why we need to remind ourselves daily about the gospel, what it means to preach to yourself instead of listening to yourself, and what is looks like to finish well in light of the gospel. At the conclusion of the meeting, we also write down a spiritual goal for the course, to be reviewed nine months later. Our homework that formed the basis of our discussion was:
-Living the Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney, intro, chs. 1 & 2
-Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Ch. 1 and Afterword
-Memory verse: John 3:16-17

Third Session: Spiritual Disciplines
In this meeting, we look at why we need to pursue spiritual disciplines for growth. We look at each of the disciplines in an in-depth manner, including meditation, personal worship solitude/retreats, journaling, prayer, Scripture memory, fasting, and confession. Then we look at Titus 2 and why this chapter calls women (and men!) to certain practices--it's all to make the gospel attractive. If women don't have prayer or accountability partners currently, we encourage them to develop this practice during this course. Finally, we introduce the quiet time accountability sheets in this session. Each of the women is to write down the duration of her personal devotions and the spiritual disciplines pursued, and even the topics studied, if desired. The goal of this accountability is not to point to performance (or solicit condemnation), but to use these sheets to reveal the ways we do (or do not) pursue the Lord for growth. Our homework for this discussion was:
-"Pursuing a Passion for God through Spiritual Disciplines: Learning from Jonathan Edwards" by Donald Whitney, chapter 5  of A God-Entranced Vision of All Things
-"Confession: Doorway to Life" by John Loftness, Disciplines for Life, ch. 6
- Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney, chapters 1 & 9
- Memory verse: 1 Timothy 4:7-8

The headlines these days are quite sobering. With major companies failing, with Wall Street panicking, and with international economies reacting to our financial tailspin, fear seems to loom large. All the problems that contributed to our current situation were in place when everything seem prosperous and happy -- we're just reaping the consequences now. But those consequences are immediate and tangible, for sure. Though I claim no special financial or economic insight, I do know two things we Christians are supposed to do in nervous times like these: 1) fear not, and 2) Intercede in prayer.

I count 34 instances of the command to "fear not" in the ESV translation of the Bible. Sometimes this phrase was directed to individuals, as to Abram ("After these things the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: 'Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great'" in Gen. 15:1) or to the shepherds in Bethlehem ("And the angel said to them, 'Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord'" in Luke 2:10-11). But many more such exhortations are directed to the people of God, either in a historical connotation, such as Moses to the Israelites, or a prophetic connotation, as in the many exhortations in the book of Isaiah to fear not. ("For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.'"--Isaiah 41:13.)

All of these "fear not" commands have one very important element in common: they are all based in the character or work of God. We are not commanded to avoid fear because there were relief measures offered by our government, or a rally on Wall Street, or any other man-made solution. We are to avoid succumbing to fear because our God holds us in His right hand. It is His great pleasure to give us the kingdom. He is the first and the last, and He holds the keys to death. He is our Rock and upon His Word, we can rest in confidence.

Knowing that, I want to be like the widow with two copper coins, who gave all she had to live on to the purposes of Christ. I want to be like the widow who trusted Elijah and gave him food from her last meal. Faced with personal loss, these two women decided to be a blessing to others. There may be some tough times upon us now and in the immediate future, but I pray we Christians will demonstrate remarkable faith in God by avoiding hoarding and giving generously to the glory of God. May we stand out from our culture because of our trust in the Lord.

In the meantime, let us intercede for our leaders. Romans 13 says government leaders are God's servants for our good --a blessing of His common grace to restrain evil and promote good. We need to pray for righteous leaders, for wisdom to make sound decisions, and for their self-control to rule for the common good and not personal benefit. Certainly some very hard decisions are being made right now. Let us fear not the short-term consequences, but keep our eyes fixed on the eternal truths about God and His kingdom purposes.

While I was in the Dallas area this weekend, I attended Grace Church of Frisco, TX. This past Sunday, senior pastor Craig Cabaniss kicked off a series on the atonement. He began the series in Exodus 12, explaining that we can see the concept of substitutionary atonement even in the Old Testament. As he taught, he addressed two points I had never considered and/or noticed before.

The first point was that the lamb's blood on the doorways of the Israelite homes in Egypt was not to signal that God's favorite people lived there or something so flattering to the Israelites. It was to show who was covered by the blood of the sacrificial lamb. In fact, in Ezekiel 20:5-11, the Bible makes it clear that the Israelites were idolaters, just as the Egyptians were. But for the sake of His holy name before the watching nations, God acted on their behalf. I had not noticed that commentary on Exodus from Ezekiel before.

The second point was that when Jesus celebrated the Passover supper with His disciples, there is no mention of the meal's centerpiece -- the Passover lamb. There's only the Lord Jesus, breaking the bread and sharing the wine and declaring how this meal is to be done in His memory, the memory of the true Passover Lamb. I guess it's possible to get so familiar with a story that you neglect to notice obvious points like this, but it was a fresh insight for me.

 It's an outstanding message, which you can download for free from Grace Church's website.

This weekend, approximately 150 women braved the weather forecasts to attend the Radical Womanhood conference at Southwestern Seminary, hosted by Redeemer Church of Fort Worth. We were fortunate -- the storm passed well to the east of the event so all we had was a mildly rainy day. However, our thoughts and prayers remained with those in the path of tropical storm Ike.

The conference organizers took my book cover as a decorating theme for the weekend, even down to including shoes as a table centerpiece! It was a treat to get to know more sisters in the Lord.

I'm spending a few more days in the area so I can collect hugs and kisses from my nieces. One of the highlights of my weekend was taking my niece, Stephanie, for her first double-digit birthday tea. The owners of Lavender House in McKinney, Texas, were willing to extend their schedule so we could enjoy a leisurely afternoon together. Stephanie has been looking forward to this event ever since her older sister turned ten two years ago. I can't believe my "niblings" are growing up so fast! Really, if children didn't grow up seemingly overnight, we could all kid ourselves that we haven't aged at all!

(Photos: The worship team for Redeemer's Radical Womanhood conference; the post-conference lunch with the event organizers; and the Lavender House.)