by Oswald Chambers

If we are going to live as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember that all efforts of worth and excellence are difficult. The Christian life is gloriously difficult, but it difficulty does not make us faint and cave in—it stirs us up to overcome. Do we appreciate the miraculous salvation of Jesus Christ enough to be our utmost for His highest—our best for His glory?

God saves people by His sovereign grace through the atonement of Jesus, and "it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure" ( Philippians 2:13 ). But we have to "work out" that salvation in our everyday, practical living (Philippians 2:12). If we will only start on the basis of His redemption to do what He commands, then we will find that we can do it. If we fail, it is because we have not yet put into practice what God has placed within us. But a crisis will reveal whether or not we have been putting it into practice. If we will obey the Spirit of God and practice in our physical life what God has placed within us by His Spirit, then when a crisis does come we will find that our own nature, as well as the grace of God, will stand by us.

Thank God that He does give us difficult things to do! His salvation is a joyous thing, but it is also something that requires bravery, courage, and holiness. It tests us for all we are worth. Jesus is "bringing many sons to glory" (Hebrews 2:10 , and God will not shield us from the requirements of sonship. God’s grace produces men and women with a strong family likeness to Jesus Christ, not pampered, spoiled weaklings. It takes a tremendous amount of discipline to live the worthy and excellent life of a disciple of Jesus in the realities of life. And it is always necessary for us to make an effort to live a life of worth and excellence.

Alan Redpath

I have struggled with something the Lord has asked me to do. Something I've done for a long time. Something I've even been asked to teach others to do. But when it doesn't have the end result I desire, I tend to not want to ever do it again.

At the same time I chafe against the attitude of this millenial generation that so often asks, "what's in it for me?" and if the answer is "nothing" they often don't listen any further. I hate that. I despise it. I rail against it. Yet now I realize it's exactly what I'm doing when God is asking me to do something once again that has absolutely not a whit of value for me at times, save the joy of knowing that I simply obeyed Him. Can that be enough? It has to be.

Lest I become exactly what I can't stand in others, I need to find joy in simply obeying God. There really is value in obedience to Christ alone.

I will do the hard thing Jesus has asked me to do again just because He asked.

I will invest even when it doesn't work out like I hoped it would.

I will give when I don't see the reward or value on earth.

I will do what He asks me to do.

I might, however, need counseling first...

or at least a brownie.

Thank you for your prayers and any donations of brownies you might want to send my way at:

Northside Assembly of God
16235 Lake Magdalene Blvd.
Tampa, FL 33613

Don't mark anything on your brownies and they will be acceptable as a tax deductible donation.

This picture is of Savanna (center) and her friends Britney (l) and Taylor (r) on their recent Mpact Girls STARS Retreat. They had a blast.

Today I slept in...Teeby made homemade waffles and brought me breakfast in bed, then I went right back to sleep for another hour or so.

I love to sleep, for anyone who hasn't figured that out yet. They say people need less sleep as they get older. Not that I'm ancient or anything but my love of sleep shows no signs of slowing down. On my day off sometimes I sleep into the afternoon (if the kids don't have school) and if my cell phone rings and it's not a true emergency, I hate it! If you've known me personally for very long you also know I hate my cell phone. It's a necessary evil of living in today's world. I'm not a lazy person by far - in fact I have workaholic tendencies, or sometimes, well...I guess I'd have to say I have been a full blown workaholic. I've balanced out a lot more in the last 10 years especially. I still work real hard but when I'm off I also relax real hard if that makes sense!

I originally had no plans for 4th of July other than sleeping in, doing quiet things around the house and then having the boys come home from youth camp --which automatically makes the house noiser. Say goodbye to the quiet peace Savanna and I have had all week, snuggling on my bed in the evenings after work, quietly watching shows like Big Bang Theory. Nope, goodbye to the peace and quiet. But that's alright - I love my three kids. It is so good to have the boys home! I have done a serious amount of snuggling with both of them today since they've been home. While watching fireworks I snuggled with Dustin outside and then inside while we were watching the Washington DC celebration on TV, I snuggled on the couch with Jordan and rubbed his back for a while. I am a serious snuggler if you also haven't figured that one out.

I had absolutely no plans for today until I woke up this afteroon. I thought I was just going to have a slow day to do things like get up at noon, read or take a bike ride until the boys got home. But then Larry said, "Bernie and Lisa called...we're getting together with them for a barbeque today and you need to make a bunch of sides to go with the meat they are grilling..." My husband knows it's no big deal for me to whip up food at the last minute -- I often kid around with Lisa that if MacDill fires her and Northside gets rid of me, she and I will go into business together doing catering. :-) We have done so many events together, everything from church events to wedding receptions . So I got up and in a matter of about and hour and a half I had made a macaroni and shrimp salad, a baked bean casserole that is to die for, (although Pastor Trinity always says he would never die for any casserole - ha ha!), and some stuffed eggs. Yum, yum! Lisa made burgers and hotdogs on the grill, spinach artichoke dip, and a flag cake with ice cream. Truly a feast...one I need to work off of my body tomorrow by biking twice as much.

The boys came home saying it was their best year of camp. They were so excited. Casey received the baptism in the Holy Spirit and Dustin prayed for her! So cool. They loved the speaker. They played a million pranks and even got in trouble for childish pranks and had to stack chairs in the gym as a punishment. I never get upset about these things -- their father and I did the same things, and now look at us. :-) ha ha! Of course church vans are tempermental and ours is no exception. It broke down over on I-4 and Larry had to run over and get the kids. Oh well, such is life. Tom will figure out what's wrong with it and get it back and running.

At Bernie and Lisa's we did fireworks (it's legal to do your own here in FL) and we were lighting off all kinds of stuff. Dustin lit off two that he put in the wrong direction. They were aimed straight at us. We screamed our heads off and started running the opposite direction. I was upset and yelled, "Boys! Be careful! You've got to remember that fireworks are nothing to play with!!!!!!!" I was serious when I said it and everyone burst out laughing and said, "Um, yes...fireworks are actually to be played with...that's why people purchase them..." (LOL) I can't help it...I get a bit worked up about my boys lighting up these things and shooting them off like it's nothing. But it was a good night. Very enjoyable with our dear friends and family.

Speaking of the 4th of July, everyone needs to check out Mark Batterson's post about it. It's awesome. Hope everyone everywhere had a spectacular day.

Last night, Jenn picked me up from work and we went to Crispers for dinner (Southwest salad, yum yum!) followed by a night of rollerskating. Yep, I'm serious. It was the night they play 80's songs at the roller rink, and buddy we were THERE! Being children of the 70's and teens of the 80's, this is our element.

Oh, I wasn't mad at her. She seems to be a precious woman. She wrote a few things she wanted to share with everyone about the life of a pastor's wife.

She said things like, "sometimes mine is a very lonely life..." and "sometimes I bear burdens no one could ever imagine the weight of..." and "I just want everyone out there to know that your pastor's wife is probably dealing with some really heavy things you have no idea about..."

She was opening up with her readers and being transparent and she encouraged everyone to pray for their pastor's wife everyday, adding that few could ever understand or imagine the burdens upon a woman married to a minister.

Many comments from readers followed, all positive but one. It came from another pastor's wife, who left a comment saying, "Sister, it's evident that you are bitter and I will pray for you..." and then went on to chastise and rebuke and give her advice about the dangers of being transparent. What followed were a bunch of old school "words of wisdom" about how pastor's wives need to avoid any close relationships, keep all our feelings to ourselves, and whatever we do don't speak of these things aloud even with other ministers because talking about our hurts just breeds resentment and bitterness. (That's funny, I've always found that holding things in is what often breeds these negative emotions.)

Did the commenter actually think she was helping this woman? I feel strongly that if you're not going to help somebody, at least don't hurt them! When people become judgmental like this, God has a way of allowing them to go through experiences to understand the things they've been blabbing about but previously had no understanding or compassion about.

I would bet my closet of shoes that the commenter has never gone through some things that the pastor's wife blogger has! ***sigh***

In our first pastorate, Larry and I pastored an abusive church. Our son who was just a baby at the time was even thrown across the room by one of the nursery workers who was upset because he wouldn't stop crying. I. am. not. kidding.

It came to the point where we had to leave. It was so painful. It was one of the most depressing times of my life. All of our possessions that we did get to keep were sitting in a Sunday School classroom (couldn't afford a storage unit) and our life was headed nowhere as far as I could see. Pretty dang depressing if you ask me. I needed a case of Prozac but ended up just downing 1/2 gallons of "death by chocolate" ice cream and gaining 30 pounds to try to soothe away the pain.

Up to this time our closest friends (another couple in ministry) had not gone through anything like this. Pastoring for them had actually been pretty even keel. A few bumps in the road here and there and normal pressures of the ministry, but nothing colossal. No church splits. No forced resignations. No business meetings from hell. No leaving with no where to go. Nothing like that. So when we went through our issues and ended up losing everything, it was hard for them to comprehend what we were going through. When our friends would call and talk to us we let them know the reality of what we were going through. We would just dump out all our feelings on the table and emotionally we were a mess. Instead of what I expected to receive from our best friends, what we actually got were preachy platitudes, and cliches, and sort of a condescending attitude. Several times I said to them, "you just don't understand." Then there would be silence on the phone. Things were strained with us during that time, but we remained friends.

I realized they had no idea where we were coming from and I hoped they never would. Because I wouldn't have wished it on my worst enemy let alone my best friend.

Larry and I got back on our feet again ministerially about a year later, and things started looking up. We started pastoring another church and went into some of our best years in the ministry the next few years. About five years later we got a call from our best friends, who had still through it all remained our closest friends. The same thing that happened to us five years prior had now happened to them! They were devastated as you can imagine.

Nothing made sense for them. Life was crazy. Their world turned upside down. Supposedly "Godly" people in the church doing amazingly unGodly things. They lost their home. Lost their church. Lost their livelihood. Lost their kids school. (Their kids were enrolled in their previous church's school.) Where to from here? Life was absolutely a fog of depression for them for about a year. They never imagined any of this would happen to them. Like many of us in ministry, they had started out believing, if you just go to a church and you love God and love the people, everything will always work out. No. That's not the way it always works. Sometimes you love God, you love the people, and they eat you for lunch. Really.

From the first phone call I never had anything but compassion for them. Never once did I ever think of saying, "I told you so" or "now you understand". I didn't have to try to imagine what they were going through - I knew. I could feel their pain in such a strong way, although we were separated by many miles in my heart I was by their side each day.

I decided to give my friends what I would have wanted back when it happened to me.

I called them every single day. For months and months. Just to say, "how are you feeling today?" Just to listen. Not to talk, just to listen.

I let them vent their feelings in a safe place. I knew pouring out their feelings unedited and raw didn't mean they were bitter, resentful or unspiritual. They were simply hurting and needed a friend.

I reminded them they were still God's called and anointed. I often told them, "remember, one church's trash is another church's treasure!" I encouraged them -- their abusive church did not determine their future. God has the last word.

I sent a card or note by regular mail every single day. Sometimes I'd enclose a tea bag with a note that said,"get a cup of hot water...make this tea and sit down and relax and read my note" and then proceeded to encourage them through the letter and speak life into their spirits. It was my goal everyday to give them a call, a card, some kind of meaningful touch to let them know somebody out there felt their pain and they weren't alone.

I sent a packages with small "love gifts" of encouragement for them and their kids .

I prepared a letter of reference from Larry and myself to try to help them get a new pastorate. I told everyone I knew in ministry about my friends, that they were looking for a new pastorate and would be an incredible answer to some church's prayer.

I made it my mission to be a part of their healing process and get back on their feet again.

Most of all I prayed for them every single day.

It wasn't long into this whole journey that one day on the phone with my friend, they said, "Deanna, I'm sorry. We had NO IDEA."

I said, "what do you mean?"

They said, "when you went through your ordeal, we had no idea what it was like. We had no idea this is what happens to some people. We didn't understand or comprehend what you were going through, but now we do."

I said, "that's okay, I understand. But thank you."

The fires we went through have bonded us and our friends much more. We both have an understanding now and a compassion for ministers that runs deep. My friend confessed to me that they had a lot of repenting to do for the judgmental attitude of their past when they would look at other ministers who seemed to be hurting and would think, "what are they whining or crying about? Are they just getting bitter? They need to just get over it. Their situation can't be that bad..."

Now upon having this life experience, they realize in some cases it is that bad! And also, in some cases it may be even worse - for people can go through things we have never experienced yet nor could understand.

It's easy to judge when you haven't been there. My prayer is that those who haven't been there would be quiet, and for those who have to reach out and give others what they need. I think that's the God thing to do, know what I mean?

Post script: about a year into their ordeal, our friends ended up getting voted into a church across the country in a new place of ministry where they never imagined they'd end up! They have been absolutely wildly successful there and are thriving! The church has exploded in every way possible under their leadership. They are leaders in their district. The church treasures them! Their family is healthy and happy. God is amazing!!! We are still best friends, continue to talk on the phone and by e-mail all the time and usually preach in each other's churches every year when we can get away to do so.

Tonight people had come into the sanctuary and church was about to start and about 5 minutes before the start of service, it started hail storming like mad! It was crazy! Everyone ran outside to see it, in awe and wonder -- and some were bringing pieces of hail back into the sanctuary. Yep, we're a different kind of church, I know. :-)

So I allowed about 5 extra minutes for this craziness hail watching and then started the service. Part of the issue with starting on time was the hailstorm was so loud it was hard to hear even with the volume up on the sound system. But it was fine. Made for another interesting night at Northside.

All of the worship songs were focused on preparing ourselves as a sanctuary and the holiness of God. It was a good night in worship and then I brought a teaching on, "The Seven Habits of Highly Holy People." (SMILE) The teaching was sorta a play on words from Stephen Covey's "The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People". Anyway, the issue of holiness has been really on my heart lately and I enjoyed our teaching and discussion tonight. Good comments from many people and interesting insight into purity, holiness, sanctification, etc. I love teaching God's Word and seeing it practically applied and lives changed! Nothing like it!

We really do have special people in our church. I love them! They are so loving toward each other, of the unchurched, of everybody in general. And it becomes more so every day. As my husband often says, "Mean people just don't do well at our church." Nope, they don't seem to last, because love abounds too much.

Two weeks ago we had a lady named Annie who walked to church for 2 and 1/2 miles in the rain with no shoes on to come to church. She was homeless and had nothing. When she got there Rob and Gayle gave her shoes and got her a change of clothes (to keep) from the clothing bank. At the close of the service she prayed the prayer to accept Christ. This past Sunday when I got to the church at 7:45 am, Annie was already sitting on the bench outside the sanctuary waiting to come in. She couldn't wait for service. Tonight it was hailstorming and about 7:15 as worship was going on I noticed Annie come in the back doors. She was late tonight but had walked all the way in the rain to get there in the hailstorm. She was soaking wet but so happy to be there.

My worship was mixed with tears, not only because I love Jesus, but because I love people like Annie.

Last Tuesday night I was going to sleep and was praying beforehand. Suddenly in the midst of my prayers, I sensed a voice say some really harsh things to me. The things were all about my personal relationship with God. It was very specific and left me feeling like I'd been punched in the stomach. Rehearsing shortcomings in our relationship was the point of the exchange and I went to sleep feeling filled with shame even though I repented. No, not shame as in shame for having done anything colossally (is that a word?) sinful lately, but just general shame for not being more diligent in my personal walk with the Lord.

Suffice it to say, I took a few deep breaths, stared into the darkness of the room and asked for forgiveness.

I determined to do better.

I committed to work harder still on my personal relationship with God.

I apologized for my lack of diligence in some areas, when in fact I knew I was capable of more.

Even with asking forgiveness, still I felt bad. Shameful.

When I woke up Wednesday morning I got ready for work and as I was walking out to the car to get in, I grabbed my Bible as I always do on the way to work (Larry drives - while I read the Word each day -- it's my habit, as I don't like to waste a minute of my day, and we have a 15 minute drive both ways during which I can read God's Word).

Before I even opened the Bible, while I still had one hand on the car door and one hand on my Bible, I heard the gentle voice of the Lord say to me, "Did you think I was talking to you last night?"

Instantly I recognized the true voice of the Lord as He said to me, "no, it wasn't me...remember, I come to bring conviction, not condemnation. And if it WAS me, then after you repented you sure wouldn't end up STILL feeling shameful!"

I am reminded of a verse I recently preached on about six months ago, in a series on shame...our key text was:

"Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs." Isaiah 61:7

God comes to cleanse us and release us from shame, not fill us with it.

The other thing I realize is, even after you've known the Lord many years, it's easy to be deceived into thinking you are hearing His voice sometimes when the enemy comes at you masquerading. He is the FATHER OF LIES, and he can put on a good impersonation sometimes and make you think what you are hearing is Godly when in fact it's from the pits of hell! Does it make you feel like a piece of dirt? It's probably not God. Does it make you feel convicted and after you repent you feel like a ton of weight has been lifted off of you? Then it probably is God.

It's not about me "doing better." It's not about me "trying harder". Make no mistake, I'm a huge proponent of spiritual disciplines and I know we need to be holy and we need to prioritize time with God, but with that said -- it's about His grace, not formulas. It's about relationship, not ritual. It's not about how long I was in the Word today versus yesterday. It's not about whether I talked to God for 30 minutes on the bike today or whether I laid on the floor in my office and spoke in my prayer language. God isn't keeping score, He's just delighted to spend time with me. It's like Bob Sorge, author of Secrets of the Secret Place says...when you miss your time with God, He's not mad at you, He's sad for you!

If you're a person like me who was raised in a legalistic atmosphere sometimes it's hard to keep in mind that God isn't up there gleefully waiting to bang you over the head and punish you every five seconds. Just enjoying my walk with him takes work sometimes to strip myself of all those old mindsets.

He spoke to me on my way to work Wedesday morning and let me know, He was not the person talking to me in my bed last Tuesday night. That was the enemy.

The Word says in John 10:27 "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." I've known the Lord for many years and I do know His voice. I follow it day to day and make my everyday and life's decisions based on it. But my point is that the Word says that even the elect can/will be deceived. Satan is a good impersonator and he can pull a fast one even on His faithful servants especially if you are tired and weak or your defenses worn down. It can happen in a minute.

Whew oh me oh my. I'm still re-cooping from wee-hour-of-the-morning talk-fest with Pastor T and Misty the other night. :-) But it was worth it. I just love them to pieces. This was two nights ago but I guess I am just slower to bounce back in the mornings these days. I did get a ton of work done today...it's just that I am slower getting started and it takes me longer to finish.

Sunday night was newcomer's and a late night as forementioned. Then yesterday I worked from home but met the staff for lunch. We were all absolutely exhausted but agreed it had been a great weekend. In the midst of my day Joy called and said she and Keith wanted to do dinner. We quickly made plans for Savanna to go to Morgan's and we met them. We were overdue for a Keith and Joy talk-fest. :-) We would have stayed much later and talked however, Keith had to host America's Prayer Meeting last night on CTN and had to get to the station. So we went over to pick Savanna up and ended up staying a few more hours having a talk-fest with the Harts. (Notice theme here: talk fests. There's nothing I love more than connecting with those dear to me.) We laughed and shared and Jenn and I made plans for a few upcoming outings we're doing together, among them a kayaking trip. Yep, seriously. I'm doing this. And I can't wait. (Don't laugh.) This is after we go on our upcoming hike to Brooker Creek Preserve. Jenn is what's known as a Master Naturalist.

In other late breaking news, I just finished riding my bike at dusk, which you already know if you follow me on Twitter (lol) and I'm doing laundry. Anybody wanna come fold it?

People have often asked me, "what is your favorite scripture verse?" I'm sure everyone who is a Christian has been asked that question before, and especially those who are in pastors or pastor's wives.

My favorite book of the Bible is Romans, and specifically chapters 6-8, and if I had to narrow it down further, chapter 8.

But lately I have been thinking of a favorite scripture I lean on and live by and it would probably be II Corinthians 9, verse 8:

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

Good stuff, huh? And the runner up would be...

II Peter 1:3 "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."

Particularly regarding ministry these are two verses I lean on all the time.

Here are some photos from our anniversary dinner at Roy's.

When making the reservation Larry told them it was our 21st anniversary. Upon receiving menus from the host, we opened them to find they had printed, "Happy Anniversary" at the top of the menu. That reminded me of Hyatt. (They do that too...so cool!) Nothing like the personal touch...

The waiter remarked he was amazed we had been married for 21 years. He said, "you look so young..." followed by a comment about hair club for men or something like that. (ha ha! Actually Teeb has all his own hair...) Anyway we just explained we started young...actually married when Larry was still a teenager if you can believe that! Seriously. He was 19. We were just young'uns who somehow not only married but basically raised each other to adulthood, actually.

So at Roy's, I ordered their special trio of fish ~ Hawaiian butterfish, salmon and tuna. It came on little plates and each had a special sauce. I also had risotto with asparagus. Larry got a steak. We split it and shared it all. Really good!

Then we topped it off with a chocolate lava cake. Look...they even wrote Happy Anniversary in chocolate sauce on it. The waiter also came out and took our photo with both our camera and the restaurant camera. They gave us a framed photo to take home.

Good times.

We came home and Savanna had been really hard at work cleaning. No kidding, she did about 20 jobs around the house. I was UH-MAYZED!!! She had been working on laundry, mopping, cleaning, even straightened up our bedroom and left a special card she made us on the bed. Her card said this:

Mommy & Daddy

I L-O-V-E You!!!
Happy 21st Anniversary
You guys rock! D + L = 21 years!
I hope you had a great day! I know you did. Thank you for letting me live and providing me with food, shelter and money. You are so awesome. Happy anniversary. I love you.
Much Love,
Savanna xoxo

I was really touched by her work and her little card although the "thank you for letting me live" part really threw me a little. I mean, we never thought about not letting her live. I guess she is just thanking us for cooperating with the Lord to plan to bring her into this world and nurture and raise her? (GRIN)

It was a good night...and the best is yet to come.

I shared this story in my Sunday School class this past week. I wish I could take credit for it but I can't. I'm not sure who originally wrote it, but I did not. I got it from a sermon illustration site. Wow, did this ever hit home with quite a few people! Thought I would share it here. One young lady came to me after class and said, "I am Dove. I need help." Another couple said, "our daughter was Dove." This story hits very close to home for many reasons. (None having to do with my husband and I and our relationship, however we have helped many Dove's.)

The story is told of a wise owl and a beautiful little dove.

Dove had wonderful parents that provided for her. They taught Dove how to fly, and how important it is to keep a good clean nest. They taught Dove a good healthy diet and what was good and what was bad. The Wise Old Owl had often preached and taught Dove many lessons of life. The wise old Owl had seen many other birds associate with the wrong crowd and seen the scars they had incurred. Dove was taught properly and knew what was right.

Dove noticed this Buzzard flying around. She saw Buzzard who was always around rotten, maggot infested meat.

But Dove was attracted to Buzzard. He was different. Different appealed to Dove.

Dove started getting closer and closer to Buzzard. She would come into church after being with Buzzard and everyone could see the deterioration of Dove's life. She was quickly getting fleas and lice. The wise old Owl tried to warn the young beautiful Dove. Owl saw Dove’s potential and wanted to help her develop within God’s plan. Owl also could see the motive of Buzzard. Buzzard was a bird who had been around.

Dove got very mad at Owl. Why couldn’t Owl see that no one had ever given Buzzard a chance? All the Wise Old Owl and her parents saw was Buzzard’s past! Buzzard never had a chance. Everybody at school had picked on Buzzard; if only he was just given a fair chance. Dove knew her love could change Buzzard! Dove knew she could teach him to change, she could clean him up. She could make him rise to his full potential! His old habits weren’t his fault. It was his environment. The young and beautiful Dove thought, “ I will make a "Love Nest" and he will become a new Buzzard.”

Dove set out to show her parents and the Wise Old Owl how wrong they were! Meanwhile, Buzzard just laughed at everything.

So, one day Dove ran away with Buzzard. To show her love and commitment she got a tattoo proclaiming their love. Dove set about building a nest just like momma had taught her. It wasn’t too long until there were some new eggs in the nest. Dove warmed the eggs with love. She knew that Buzzard would change now that there were some babies to make Buzzard responsible. Buzzard started flying farther and farther from the nest. When Buzzard would come home, his breath smelled rotten. Dove asked “Buzzard, where have you been?” He got very defensive and said, “you are just like all the other birds and you don’t trust me!”

So Dove just sat there in lonely silence.The baby birds hatched, and poor Dove was left alone to feed and care for the babies. Buzzard was flying around, as he didn’t want to be tied down. The Wise Old Owl came by the nest to help Dove and told her, “Dove, you are precious – you are special and, you don’t need to allow this to continue.”Again, Buzzard flew off and was gone.

When Buzzard came home after being with his other birds, he smelled of fleas and lice. Poor little Dove soon got a disease from Buzzard. Dove wanted to make things work at all costs. She got a baby sitter and went out with Buzzard, trying to do whatever to change things. She decided…”I’ll try to become like Buzzard. I'll try to understand him and get into his world.” Dove sat high on her perch and looked on a decaying carcass, and got sick to her stomach. She thought, “I am better than this. How did I ever get myself into this mess?”

Dove thought of Owl and her parents, and of returning home. But in her mind she was convinced that they would laugh and mock her. She couldn't bear to hear the words, “I told you so!"

So Dove’s nest became nasty and infested. She hurt desperately. Buzzard told Dove, “It is your fault I fly around! If you were a better bird this wouldn’t happen. If you were just different, I could accept you. If you just cooked better. If you just provided better for me, I wouldn’t have to fly around like I do…”

Now Dove was broken. She accepted his words. She felt like a complete failure. She actually becomes convinced that she is the one who needs to change! She takes all the responsibility on herself. All of this is evidently her fault. Dove’s children now begin flying around to the maggot piles. She sheds many tears, now she sees WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN. If her choices were only different! If she just had listened to the Owl.

She now sees, Owl and her parents weren’t dumb. They weren’t picking on Buzzard. They only loved Dove and wanted her to be all she could be.

One night Dove’s oldest bird never came home, Dove paced the floor. Dove quit hiding Buzzard’s behavior from Owl and her parents. Dove brought the broken pieces of her nest to the altar and asked everyone to help her.

Failure is not final. You can fail and not be a failure. Dove might be used now to be able to warn others.

Experience is a very costly teacher.

Today is 21 years for Teeby and me.

We've made it!

Here's a pic of us the first month we were married...

Tonight we are headed out to celebrate with dinner for two at Roy's in Tampa...... a really nice place. One of our wonderful Northsiders gave us a gift certificate to enjoy this night together. The cool thing is, it's Hawaiian fusion cuisine and 21 years ago we went on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Good memories.

Dustin will hold down the home front and take care of things so Momma and Daddy can celebrate our night.

Thanks Teeb, (and thanks Lord...) for another year. Here's to at least another 21......

Just a reminder to all you wonderful women who are pastor's wives, missionaries, pastors, evangelists or wanna be...........

Early bird pre-registration for the Unstoppable Conference is coming to an end on Monday, June 30th.

Of course you can still register during the regular registration or even late registration but just thought I'd give a gentle reminder to register now and save!

I can't wait to spend this time with the most wonderful women in the world. Pastor Tara Sloan is also one of the speakers for this year's conference! You are going to be SO BLESSED. Do not miss this incredible time. I would encourage you to register and don't come alone if you can help it! Bring a friend or two...three would be ideal -- the four of you can share a room and experience the conference together here in beautiful Tampa Bay! Go here for all the details and a registration form that you can download.

Please note if you bring a friend who registers, you can also have a product/ministry table at no charge, and advertise and share your ministry with those present. It's a great place to NETWORK! Most of all a great place to find those who UNDERSTAND. Relationships are formed at Unstoppable that will last forever! Just today, I spent time talking to Jennifer, a youth pastor I met at Unstoppable last year. We are now helping one another in our respective ministries. In fact, Jennifer is hosting a conference for youth girls that I am helping her to promote. I know other women who have made connections through the conference last year who have linked together to help one another. It's my joy and my vision to provide a place for women to meet and support one another.

We have some surprises this year up our sleeve and I can't wait to unveil them!!! The women who attend are going to be so refreshed, renewed, restored, refocused, and ready for the next level!!!!

Can't wait to share coffee and our hearts.....in person!

When I first started blogging publicly, I said I would blog about things I'm learning, and some stuff I haven't figured out yet and am not sure I ever will. Along my life's journey, I have learned a few things to be definitely true so far. Here are a few:

I just came back from my daily bike ride. How exhiliarating. I thought I'd share with you 10 reasons I love doing this everyday and make time for it. (If I don't bike, I walk.) Okeey dokey, here we go...

1) Fat loves to stick to me. I have to ride it off. No kidding if I eat a piece of candy I might as well tape it to my butt because that's where it's going to show up anyway. If I didn't ride my bike I'd be twice as big.

2) I love to feel the wind on my face.

3) I love to be by myself and ride and think.

4) God meets me on the bike. We talk.

5) I love to pedal fast but I also like to coast and just check out the sights. Trees. Flowers. Lakes. The Sky. Sprinklers. Clouds. The Sunset. Rain. You name it, I love it!

6) I love to work my legs and make them stronger. Might come in handy if I have to kick any unruly people. LOL Just kidding. Honestly,