I'm in the adult industry and have recently given my life to Christ. I do not feel like I can turn my life around on my own. I am supporting a family of 5 and my husband can barely contribute since being in a bad car accident. I don't feel like I can instantly turn from this sin without God's help. To quit instantly would put me on the streets without a roof over the heads of my children. My question is, will God help me find another job that will pay enough to take care of my family? I don't think I can turn from this job on my own with my financial burdens, but I worry that my living in sin and being aware of God's law means that I would go to hell if something happened to me tomorrow. Does God give time to his new babies to grow and change their current life, or does he expect instant change from his children, no matter the situation? I hope this made sense. Thank you for your time.

Hello.

Thank you for the sincere question. You have spoken clearly and candidly. I believe that I understand the situation well enough. But as always, I turn to the Lord for help in answering.

There is a parable that comes to mind. I think I heard this from a taped sermon somewhere. I'll share it with you because I am interested in how it might apply to what you are going through.

In ancient times a King has his eyes set on a maiden to marry. He knows this woman and loves her more than his own life. He seeks to marry her, but she works as an illegal prostitute, and has (by her profession) been found guilty of a serious crime against the kingdom. What will the King do to fix the situation?

The King makes a royal decree and send word throughout the land, hereby granting amnesty to all criminal prostitutes. The maiden that is beloved by the King can hardly believe it, but she accepts the King's proposal to marry and they are joined. The maiden instantly went from criminal prostitute to queen, because of the great love of her King. So, what are the chances that the queen will wander out of the castle and go back to turning tricks on the streets? The chances are pretty slim, but yet one can imagine a return to the streets if old company and doubts and fears introduce the notion or feeling that she really isn't loved, and isn't set free from her crimes ... or that she really is no better off. The danger of returning relates to how steadfast she is in believing that she is loved and believing that she really is a queen and can start acting like one!

Romans 2:4
Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

Titus 2:11-12
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,

The two verses above would be good verses to memorize. His kindness leads us to repentance. His grace teaches us to say "no" to ungodliness. It isn't fear that keeps you improving as you grow, but love and rest. Grace and kindness are catalysts to growth and maturity. You might even say that fear of punishment has a growth inhibiting effect.

1Jo 4:18 - Show Context
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Lets talk a little bit about maturity and failures. Sometimes growth can be frustrating. My experience is like the queen that forgets from time to time that I am loved by the King and goes back to a lifestyle that no longer suits me. But, God's love is undaunted. So, when I catch a glimpse of His eyes I see a love that can save me and take me out of the vexation of sin. And so it goes. We can only start from where we are, and we have so far to go, it does us well to take it one step at a time beginning with the step right in front of us.

God doesn't exasperate believers by expecting them to grow to full maturity instantaneously. He gives us a plate just big enough for us to finish, and has a row of bigger plates to give us when we can handle eating more and more. We didn't get into the deep depravity of sin quickly, so we won't get out of it quickly either. Rather, our growth happens at an ever quickening pace if we submit ourselves to the daily and incremental improvements that He has brought to our attention. Lets not derail the program by refusing to finish the bits on the plate in front of us. Lets encourage one another, to trust the cook and welcome His nourishment into us. What He prepares for us is good and will benefit our lives if we get on with it and simply trust what He has brought us.

Sister, we don't enjoy sin like we used to, do we? It just doesn't suit us. We have tried it, and it is a dry feeling and distasteful to us? Is this not evidence that we have a new identity? We are betrothed to the Lord, and as His beloved bride ... those things simply don't suit us anymore. We don't quit sinning to be worthy to be His bride. Rather, we want to be rid of sin, because we already ARE worthy to be His bride ... as a gift for all those that accept His forgiveness and saving life within them.

I believe that God wants you to quit working in the adult industry. I believe that is why it is on your mind. I believe that the enemy will try to trap you in the rut by making it feel like God isn't there to help, and that He is a harsh and demanding God that might explode if you don't walk on eggshells. If you buy into that lie, then you won't invite His presence and without His presence we are all trapped in our way of life. We simply need Him to guide us and to remind us that we are loved so that we have no fear ... only kindness and grace with which to keep our path on course to maturity.

God has opened the cell door, and rattled the cage but you stay inside for the fear that what lies beyond the open door is something unfamiliar. Have you grown attached to the cell? Doesn't your heart ache for a better life?

Sister, there may be valleys and deserts beyond this job that you will need to walk through. I don't know. It may be really tough. But, if you knew the pastures that He is taking you to, and if you trust in the Good Shepherd, than you will go. Sometimes the oasis is only found after going across a hot desert for a while. Sometimes the quickest way to a mountain top is through a valley. Sometimes God strips us of everything to make us fit for a royal robe and all better things that He wants us to have.

I don't make a habit of telling people what they should do. But you asked me, and I've prayed about it, and now the choice is yours. I don't think it is a resistance because of your husband or kids. I believe the resistance is between doing what YOU want to do or doing what God would want to do through you if you were only willing to let Him.

The Lord is crazy about us and loves us more than we could ever imagine! And sometimes we can show our love for Him by trusting and obeying. If you wait for that to always make perfect financial sense, how long do you think you will need to wait?

http://trumpetcallofgodonline.com/index.php5?title=Those%2C_of_Steadfast_Faith_in_Christ%2C_are_Free_From_Doubt...In_Them%2C_Sin_Has_Also_Vanished

The above link is also something that came to mind to share with you. I think it is a balanced perspective on our war against sin and how we eventually turn the tide. There are more fantastic resources on that site if you look around.

Also, consider going to http://xxxchurch.com ... I've heard they have a ministry specializing in helping folk escape the adult entertainment world.

I trust that you will finish well. For "faithful is He, who called you, who will also do it" ... and He is the "Author and Finisher of our faith." One day, you will see that you are really acting like a queen, and you will be amazed at the impact of God's love in your life. This little decision in front of you will be all but forgotten as you will have moved on to bigger and better things by then.

1Co 2:9 -
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"--

Ripening for the harvest,
Trent - www.GraceHead.com

So, I had been dating this guy for two years, until we both felt God was telling us to be apart for a while. It was mainly him that God was telling but I understood too. So now, we are talking again and I'm wondering if it's in God's will.

I am a person with a lot of self doubt and when i'm with him it feels right and where i'm supposed to be, but how do I know that's God or just MY desires. This boy is a Christian, but is only 18 so he isn't as deep as I would like my husband to be. Should I just be patient with him and see how God shapes him when he goes to college? He has so much potential!!

Also, I've never really dated anyone else. I don't really have a desire to though. Even when we weren't together, I didn't want to date anyone else. But when Christian guys pursue me or start talking to me, I start comparing them to the guy I'm sort of dating. Is that bad? I don't have feelings for them at all...I think it's just the fact that they are older and more mature.

Is waiting a bad idea? He already has God in him and I can see him changing a lot when he goes to college because that is when I changed the most in my spiritual life. I love him a lot but I want to make sure that everything is in God's will, not my own.

Hello, there. Thank you for your sincere question of faith.

I think what you are asking is a common question. In fact, a friend of mine says he constantly hears this type of question when in America, but as a speaker spending most of his time out of the states, he NEVER hears it anywhere else. Usually, it comes from married folk wondering if their spouse was God's will for them. But there are other similar questions ... such as "Is this God's will for my job?" .. "place to live?" etc.

I said that he never hears anything of the sorts in other countries. Instead, he hears things like, "How can I get this marriage on track?" and "How can I renew my interest in work?" The difference is worth looking at, but I can only guess what the reasons are for the culture difference in America.

Since I am an American, too ... I don't mind sharing my experience with similar doubts, see if there is some similarity with what you are going through. I think we tend to think of life like one of those line mazes with 100 dead-ends and 1 correct exit. As we go along we are asked to go left or right, and we imagine that had we gone one way and not the other, that we end up either at a dead-end or at a point closer to the correct exit point. We are convinced that making the correct decision means a freedom from regret ... at least until we make a wrong decision, right? But, like those puzzles it is nearly impossible to make it to the end without making a few wrong choices, so we are always doubting and questioning whether our latest decision was the right one or whether we should go back and undo it.

As I write all of that out, it seems kindof silly and depressing, doesn't it? Is life really navigated like a puzzle-maze? I sure hope there is more to it than that.

Heb 11:8
By faith Abraham, when he was called, ... he went out, not knowing where he was going.

What if faith runs contrary to all this managing decisions and knowing what we are getting into before we get into it? Abraham went by faith without knowing where he was going! Maybe we just aren't meant to know so that we can exercise faith in the absence of knowing.

The moment that we know God's will for our lives, sister, ... guess what? We are unbelievers, no longer walking by faith.

I've learned to escape the constant second-guessing and regretful worry about decisions. How? By adopting a new attitude: "Thy will be done."

So, I don't want to have plans for anyone, and how to wind up at the exit of the maze. I am not particularly concerned about all of that, because I don't know. I don't need a plan, because my plan is to welcome God's will. So going left or going right is not the question for me. My question is to abide or to not abide, and what difference does it make if while abiding I go right or I go left? The point is that I am abiding, so it will go great if I go either way. How can I take a bad step when my steps are wrought in God? How can I think that you can take a bad step if your steps are wrought in God? So I don't want you to follow my steps nor anyone else's! I want you to abide in Him and let Him direct your path. You'll wind up somewhere scratching your head, and muttering, "I don't know how I got here, but it must be God." ... is that much different than the place you currently are right now, or did you plan it and bring it about in years gone by?

Some will say that a life like that won't work, but my answer is "Fine! Alright, but don't drag me into your unbelief." Maybe that is true for you, and the God that you have wouldn't let that work, but I don't want that kind of God.

With plans and goals come all kinds of manipulation, because we have to see that our plan is brought about. But, without a plan, I am free from an unbelieving mindset. As I remain restfully available, I don't need to fix the world around me, and fix the problems that come against me. Rather I can let problems fix me, and the problems drive me into God's presence.

It is a matter of what our goal really is, sister. Is our goal to succeed by the world's standard? Or is our goal the expression of the life of God manifest by the Spirit through us? If it is the first goal, than we have to know everything. If it is the second goal, then we get to be free and know nothing and just listen as we walk ... because our eyes are not on whether to go right our left, but our eyes are on the Lord.

Lets maximize our faith ... we have His promise that we are going to end well ... He is the Author and the Finisher of our faith ... so we can release our cares and just depend on our Shepherd.

This may seem out of reach and not really pertinent to what you were asking, but I am trying to see if you are ready to shift up a gear. You know what that is like in a car, to shift up a gear ... it is when your engine does less work, but the car is going faster. The gear is called faith, and it is demonstrated by Abraham ... it involves going and knowing not ... and it is shear delight for all those that shift into that gear. I pray you take this as encouragement.

Ripening for the harvest,

Trent

What are "good works"? I am sure that I have read it somewhere but can't find it again.

Acts 2:22"Men of Israel, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through Him, as you yourselves know."

God did the good works through Jesus. *THROUGH* Him.
God was in Him, and one with Him, and though Jesus did everything, He really did nothing.
He lived as a servant, transparent vessel of the Father's will to show us what good works really are ... they are Divine works caused by God, worked through us as though it is us, but it is NOT us ... He does it all!

John 8:28
So Jesus said, "When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be and that *I do nothing on my own* but speak just what the Father has taught me. ..."

He claims to do nothing over a dozen times in the Gospel of John alone. ... and as that first verse above says, it was known that God did everything though Him. All that Jesus ever did, is all that Jesus never did. And that principle applies to us:

John 15:5
"I am the Vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; *apart from me you can do nothing*."

As we walk in the manner in which Jesus walks, we will do good works that are wrought in Him. But we are NOT doing it. And yet we ARE doing it. We are, but we aren't. We aren't, but we are.

John 3:21
"But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that *his deeds* may be manifested as having *been wrought in God*."

When we are involved in good work there is NO reasonable explanation for our activity EXCEPT to say that it isn't us at all, ... it MUST be God doing it.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ and *I no longer live, but Christ lives in me*. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

You will know when you are doing good works, because you are not doing anything. It is a miracle, and gift! It is the Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ!
Oh, YES!!!

I really want to be right with God and I have no idea how to approach it. Any advice at all will help. I really just want to feel God's love and to know that I am in good hands and that I let God take care of everything in my life. Is there some feeling you get when you know that you are walking in Jesus's footsteps? Thank you for your time. Have a great day.

Essentially, you are asking how you are going to get to the point of peace, when you are personally, and emotionally intimate with God … what is going to take you there, and what can you be doing to bring that about? You want to be rid of doubts, be firm in your understanding of spiritual realities, and have a healthy appetite for the things of God, right? Meanwhile, you want with great eagerness to be close to the Lord, but you are not seeing how to get there.

However, before I can answer your question, I have to know something first. In fact, if you can answer this question, I know many, many people that can take the information and have a quantum leap in their spiritual growth. I mean this, your answer will help a lot of people.

Not so long ago you didn’t care about Jesus, and God … and going to church made your hair stand on end. Only a short while ago you went from a gag reflex to God to now “[you] cannot begin to explain how eager [you are] to be right with the Lord.”

How?

There are people with that gag reflex their whole life, and I just need to know what you did, that made that shift to hunger for righteousness. What was your practice? Was it a morning study of the Bible? Was it watching or listening to Christian programming? Was it learning Greek, or Hebrew? Was it pouring your life into ministry?

Now, if we were sitting together, I would really press you for this answer right now. How did you get to where you now want to be right with God with your whole being?

What is the first thing that comes to mind? What would you tell me if we sat together?

Well, actually I deceived you, sister. I know the answer, because it is the same for all of God’s children: “I don’t know.” And sometimes I hear this also, “I guess God just changed me.” Right? There is no answer to that question, where you are concerned. It has to be Him.

He must have made the difference not anything you did.

And now you know the answer to your question. The same God that changed you to the point that you now “cannot begin to explain how eager [you are] to be right with the Lord” will the be God that takes you deeper and deeper into the spiritual walk.

What does all of this mean? Well first of all, rest!

Spiritual rest is like physical rest. It is required for growth. Did you know that children have a growth hormone that causes growth, and that this hormone is only active during sleep? It is true. I am 6-5” tall, but if I was deprived of sleep as I was growing, then I would not be as tall. Rest will accelerate your spiritual growth more then anything else.

As a churchgoer, you will encounter people that give you a formula for stuff you can do that will help you get spiritually mature. In fact, most of what you hear in church will be along those lines. All of that is fine and good. I am not saying anything about it, except to say that if there is a list of 10 things that we can do that help me grow, then there are 100000000 things that GOD IS ALREADY doing to help us grow, and improve us spiritually. You are a testimony to this reality, because He changed your desires without anything special you did. In fact, I would not be surprised if God has allowed your disinterest in the Bible to persist ONLY because you might credit your study as the reason for your change of wants. But, as it stands you cannot credit your Bible study because you were totally disinterested in it. You have nobody to credit but God.

Your interest and disinterest in things will change because God is now in charge of your will. He is at the helm. You don’t have to make Him Lord, because that is what He is. Whatever little effort that you make will be eclipsed a million times over by God’s efforts to reform you and make you new, and present you holy and blameless. Just rest in that. You asked Him in, and now just thank Him that you have already given your life to Him, with no take-backs.

What if you fall tomorrow? Well, rest. Rest, because you have already given your life to God, and what more could anyone expect of you? There isn’t much more that you can do. But, when you fall, you will see that it is because you did something that you really did not want to do, or you did not do something that you really wanted to do. If Jesus lives in your heart, then He will first impact your wants. Resting in Him, means acting like you WANT to feel, even when you don’t feel that way. Trust your wants before your feelings, because that is where God lives, now. He lives in your heart, not emotions.

How do I know that He lives in your wants/heart … well, you said it yourself, “. I really want to be right with God …”

How do I know that He does not live in your emotions? Well, you said that also.

I’m not worried, because the same God that took you this far will complete the work that He began in you. You have a Shepherd.

Rest.

Ripening for the harvest,

Trent Fuller

John 21:4-7b
4Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
5He called out to them, "Friends, haven't you any fish?"
"No," they answered.
6He said, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some." When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.
7Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!"

Now, in response to this plea from a couple he did not know, Bob went to see them. He led them both to Christ, and he fully understood what that means. He did not just invite them to join his church or even simply to make a decision for Jesus so they could head toward heaven instead of hell. He led them to Christ. He invited them to receive Somebody, so that Somebody could live in them, Somebody living in somebody.

Such truth was revolutionary for this couple. From the moment of their genuine conversion, they fully grasped the implication of being born from above and becoming the recipients of the resurrection Life of the One who was crucified and then rose from the dead to share His Life with them on earth on their way to heaven. Life has held this same excitement for them ever since.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Jn 3:16

Question: Many people when they hear of an elderly person, think of someone sweet and someone you should tolerate alot from because of their age. In the case of my mother, she is in a nursing home right now and I have reviewed many of her medical records with permission. She has been abusive to staff and even in the records it says she has been "cruel" to them making personal insults. She has been very verbally and emotionally abusive to me. Foul language directed at me in a manner intended to injure. She has been disrepsectful and mean spirited. I have found alot of people try to dismiss this behavior because of a person's age (80) however this is not fair. I am 54 years old and my health, both physically and mentally is suffering because of the constant abuse. Again, I find people try to "make excuses" because the aged person is in a nursing home. The nursing home has said she doesn't have to be there if she would only cooperate and do her share of what she needs to do in order to get discharged. But she sabatouges herself and makes unreasonable demands. A neurologist and psychiatrist have evaluated her and said she is not psychotic and knows what she is doing. I am on numerous medications because of the strain in dealing her verbal abuse, emotional abuse and disrespect. Ex: Could not go visit her (she is 20 miles away) due to ice storm here in NY. She says "tough! don't bull** me". called and asked what she is doing and she says "you bast*". Blames me for the fact she is in the nursing home when in fact if she would do what they tell her, she could be discharge but she is not compliant. Do I as a Christian have to take mental, verbal and emotional abuse? I am on the verge of suicide and am seeing a counselor because of this. I want to be a good Christian and feel being a Christian means I have to take, accept and tolerate cruelty. Yet is is bringing me to the breaking point. I am having crying fits but thank God I am under medical care. Is this what God expects of me? To be torn apart like this? I have family responsibilities otherwise would ask for a brief hospitalization because of the stress. Am I a bad Christian for wanting to distance myself from my mother until she makes a decision that her behavior is alientaing others? I tried to talk to her nicely, very nicely this evening about it and she was mocking me. I don't get rude or nasty back but being exposed to this cruelty is injuring me greatly to the point where I can't enjoy life any longer and it has caused me to quit my job. Is this what God wants me to do none the less? To expose myself to cruel behavior? I read about turning the other cheek and honor thy father and thy mother. So I have taken the abuse and my health is failing me. Please advise. I am at wits end and suicidal over it but I do have a counselor. Suicidal because no matter what I do which is anything she wants, I get abused verbally and emotionally. And the doctors say this is not dementia doing it. It is her actual anger. Thank you.

You are beloved of the Lord. Your mother won't remind you of that, but it is true ... and I don't mind telling you.

Remember in the Gospels, when Jesus was baptized? Heaven opened to Him and a Voice spoke saying, "This is my beloved Son, in Whom I am well pleased." Shortly after satan marches over to Jesus and tempts Him three times saying, "If you really are the son ..."

Guess what was missing! The Father says "beloved son" ... and satan says "son" ... without the beloved ... Satan knows that while trying to steal, kill, and destroy he must NOT under any circumstance remind anybody of the truth of God's love for them. Reminding them that they are beloved, ruins satan's trickery and plans.

So, I am reminding you that you are loved to make that fresh again in your ears, and I believe that we cannot hear that enough. We need, at all times, to be reminded of it. We are that weak and fragile. I need a fresh revelation of God's Love and Acceptance just to get by. Don't you?

Lets say that a woman is drowning and kicking and splashing. A boy goes to help her and drag her to shore, but the moments slip by and the boy gets exhausted and fatigued. Now they are both in danger because the woman won't submit to the help, so both may be drown. The very instance that the boy notices that he is taking on water in his lungs, is a critical moment. Will he let go of the woman or will he forfeit her life and his own in an attempt to do something that everyone on the shore can see is dangerous? The boy must decide to let go, and live. The boy must trust the lifeguard on duty.

Of course, I am talking about you, beloved brother in the Lord. Will you drown with the flailing woman, or will you let go? Will you trust the lifeguard, which is the Lord Jesus - the Good Shepherd, who promises to not loose a single sheep?

This moment is critical for you. Will you trust the Lord?

I know there are symptoms to lack of trust. These symptoms are warning signs, like the lights on the dashboard of a car, telling us to stop and check the engine. So, the light that flashes at me is summed up in one word "STRESS" or "WORRY."

Worry and stress are the natural outcome of any person saying to God: "Hands off, Lord. I got this one! LET ME handle it! I can do it!" ... as we grasp the problem and try to fix it. So naturally we are stressed and worried, because (whether we readily accept it or not) we really don't offer much to help the problem on our own, and we really DO need the Lord to do it and help us fix what is broken.

We need to trust the Lord - the remedy for all worries and all stresses.

I'm not here to say that I have arrived, But, I can tell you that I am much further along than I have been before, and it is worth the time and effort that I have put into trusting the Lord and worrying less and stressing less. It has gone well with me.

Would you be willing, brother, to do it, if Jesus tells you, "Beloved, go into the room and hang a sign that says "nasty bitch" in a banner over her bed." Would you be willing to obey, if the Lord says to you "Beloved, don't call her back, nor answer her calls ... let her eat silence." Would you be willing if He said, "OK, beloved, now she is ready for your help again." See? We don't know what to do. We can pray. We can be willing. But we MUST hear from the Lord and do as He says. His sheep hear His voice, so you have been hearing it ... just stop and listen to the subtle and quiet voice that insists within you for you to do what He would have His beloved do.

"Apart from me you can do nothing." - Jesus

You have proven that statement by now, right? I know I have proven it.

Here are some things that the Lord has put on my heart to share with you:

http://trumpetcallofgodonline.com/index.php5?title=Be_Separate_From_This_World_and_Become_Joined_to_the_Father_Through_Christ

and

http://trumpetcallofgodonline.com/index.php5?title=Abide_in_the_Doctrine_of_Christ

Please. The time is short. No longer are we fit to do as we plan it. We need to hear from the Lord ... the One that constantly tells us of now much we are loved. And hearing, we will know what to do. The results will be miraculous and no energy will be wasted.

We can run and not grow weary. We can renew our strength as we wait and remain in Him. We will soar and sing and do exploits, but it will not be us doing them ... We will say with a loud voice, "It is the LORD! Give Him glory!" Are you ready to start, beloved of the Lord? It starts with listening and quieting your heart and being willing to do as He says. He is already standing at the door and knocking ... but because you are already His, He is not knocking to get in your heart, but knocking to get out.

Will you let Jesus come out and play (through you?)

Ripening for the harvest,

Trent

you are a genius. and i might be wrong but i believe you have been used as an angel today. i needed badly what you have said, so badly i am saving it for future use. my mouth is hanging open in awe. i am delighted to have gotten this reply. it is awesome, eloquent and helpful to a very desperate person. your time was not a waste of time. i needed to hear i was loved. you are a person who is sensitive to the Lord because I was glued to the computer reading your reply. it was resonating with me each step along the way. i am saving it for future use. i want jesus. i am amazed at your insight both practical and spiritual. you have a real gift and if being on all experts was a whim on your part when you joined (which i doubt) please note that your reply has helped save my life, and something like that does not happen on a whim. I am intensely changed by your reply. i am stunned right now. never would i have expected such a helpful, insightful reply in a million years. even my therapist hasn't reached me like this. i am dumbfounded with mouth still hanging open. i am printing this out and saving for future reference. i can't pay you but i would if i had to for this. i can pray for you though. you are an agent of the Lord. this could not have been a mistake, the condition i am in and all. I am stunned and can't even talk. Thank you.