Acting? Porn?

Bowling?

getting tossed?

Marcus approves.

A dwarf burglar has defended his life of crime claiming that it is the only career open to a man his size.


Apparently he had little recourse.

I tend to make halflings into thieves, not dwarves.

oh ... I saw "dwarf burglar" and thought someone was stealing dwarves.

I call shenanigans.

There's no such thing as dwarves.

Doesn't he know dwarves can be clerics too?

dillenger69: oh ... I saw "dwarf burglar" and thought someone was stealing dwarves.

it's a step up from garden gnomes.

Mexican wrestling is very lucrative. Don't sell yourself short.

Does that dwarf have heart like Pee Wee Grogan?

/Obscure?

Belt Buckle Inspector
Ultra mini sub operator
Daleks driver

"People come to me for help with burglaries because I'm small and can get through small holes.," he said.

"But they are not taking advantage of me. I'm well-known and well-liked and no one picks on me."

Golden quote of the article.

There was a little delinquent who lived behind me (I was pretty good friends with him for a while). After being put under house arrest for some criminal activity, he took off, stealing a purse and retrofitted van from a midget who lived in an adjacent neighborhood. Funniest crime I've ever heard of being committed.

/his uncle shot some guy in the head at a nearby rec center, too
//live in the MD suburbs

He needs to overlook his shortcomings.

He looked totally badass



until the bit about living with his mother.

Alex: Are you keeping Anton on because he's disabled?
David: Anton's not disabled.
Alex: He's a midget, David.
David: Yeah, but you're not disabled if you're a midget are you? That's not a disability. That's just small.
Alex: Yeah, I know...
David: Ronnie Corbett doesn't get special treatment, does he?
Alex: Ronnie Corbett's five foot. Anton's three foot four.
David: So are some children. Children don't get special favours. Children aren't disabled, are they?
Alex: Children don't work in warehouses.
David: Look, whether or not Anton is indeed a midget or a dwarf -
Alex: No, he's a midget.
David: What's the difference?
Alex: Well, a dwarf is someone who has disproportionately short arms and legs.
David: Oh, I know the ones. (Does a crass impersonation of a dwarf)
Alex: It's caused by a hormone deficiency.
David: Bloody hormones.
Alex: A midget is still a dwarf, but their arms and legs are in proportion.
David: Sure.
Gareth: So, what's an elf?
David: Do you wanna answer that?
Alex: (sighs) An elf is a supernatural being. Sometimes they're invisible. They're like fairies.
David: But they don't actually exist, do they? In real life...

Ya should of gone into poRn, ya pip-squeak.

Dwarf burglar? Everyone knows only Men and Hobbits can be burglars. Duh.

/lotro
//geek
///slashies, precious!

For real! This is a dwarf we might be able to one day follow to a pot o' gold! Free the Newcastle 1/2!!!!

getting robbed by a dwarf? man, talk about being short changed.
/kinda makes sense
//not really

cyber_slacker: Doesn't he know dwarves can be clerics too?

Pfft. I'd put my Dwarf Rogue up against that and stomp it.

Professional knee-capper?
1/2 story guy?
Small time crook?
Big Figure!

It's just Matt Damon when he was a kid playing around with his time machine. What's the problem?

Never send a dwarf to do the job!

tothekor: It's just Matt Damon when he was a kid playing around with his time machine. What's the problem?

I think it's Affleck's Shrink Ray.

Harry Freakstorm: Belt Buckle Inspector
Ultra mini sub operator
Daleks driver

Lets not forget court jester.

struggled to get a normal job in a "tall human's world".

Go to hell, mutant

mistrmind: Harry Freakstorm: Belt Buckle Inspector
Ultra mini sub operator
Daleks driver

Lets not forget court jester.

Cat herder.

As a level 60 Dwarven thief, i'm getting a kick out of these replies

tothekor: It's just Matt Damon when he was a kid playing around with his time machine. What's the problem?

No, it's a clone of Matt Damon. 1/4th his size. and evil.

Begs to differ

Markoff Chaney unavailable for comment?

/The Mgmt.

What do you call a psychic dwarf who escapes from prison?

A small medium at large....

I'd say about 80% of office jobs are open to dwarves of all types. Way back when I worked in an office they had a graphic designer who was also a dwarf.

But that one in the article... yeah, he should start a career as mini-me to Matt Damon.

/Tom Cruise is his own mini-me

Oakland A's FTW!: mistrmind: Harry Freakstorm: Belt Buckle Inspector
Ultra mini sub operator
Daleks driver

Lets not forget court jester.

Cat herder.

Rodeo clown

is he holdin an ipod in that pic? lmao

dwarves use ipods? lmao

/not racist
//i mean sizeist
///whatever the damn word is

wildcardjack: yeah, he should start a career as mini-me to Matt Damon.

Mini-Sarah Silverman will be pleased.

/+.5 Subby

Everybody knows you have to be a midget dwarf to pose for trophies.

Getting a kick out of these replies.

If I could harness the power of the dwarves. A tiny Army that wouldn't have to crawl under barb wire. They'd just walk. You want to go hand to hand combat with a dwarf? You're swinging the rifle butt for a normies' chest and they're bayonetting you in the crouch.

A tiny air force of planes too small to show up on radar. Can't shoot them down. They're too small and fast.

A navy of little submarines that look like big fish on the sonar screen. Wrecking havok on the maritine seas.

My dwarf army would fight and win under the battle cry of "More room for us!"

Gotta run down to Kids R Us and get some brown shirts.

freetomato: What do you call a psychic dwarf who escapes from prison?

A small medium at large....

Takin' that one to work!

"For the last time, I don't have "Short People" on my Ipod!"

With a little shoe polish, he could be a lawn jockey.

Special Unit 2 has dibs.

he could get a job with Lady Au Pair

TheSwizz: freetomato: What do you call a psychic dwarf who escapes from prison?

A small medium at large....

Takin' that one to work!

Yup. Highlight/right-click/paste.

Innocent until proven guilty I say.

Raging Thespian: wildcardjack: yeah, he should start a career as mini-me to Matt Damon.

Mini-Sarah Silverman will be pleased.

Okay, your predictions on who will win.

1984 Chicago Bears vs. 11 mini-Ditkas.

Discuss.

Ditka would never play a team he coaches, let alone 11 mini versions of him.

He could easily do my old job of working for a call center.

eph3k: He looked totally badass

until the bit about living with his mother.

The picture on the right, is that the dwarf door?

I bet he'd get some serious air, launched from a trebuchet.

Robble robble.

Rubbble rubble!

/and I see someone already took care of the Bilbo reference

What about Austin Powers films?

caperbear: he could get a job with Lady Au Pair

She's Dr. Mrs. The Monarch now, and those are her grubs/larvae.

I'm going to assume he's a shield dwarf, rather than a gold dwarf.

That way, he gets -2 to his charisma rather than -2 to his dexterity.

Constitution's not normally a good stat for a thief, though.

Tyrion?

reillan: I'm going to assume he's a shield dwarf, rather than a gold dwarf.

That way, he gets -2 to his charisma rather than -2 to his dexterity.

Are you suggesting that there are other games than WoW? Lies!

I always thought drwarfs would make great butlers. They're small enough to as to not be obtrusive, and wouldn't require large living spaces or large amounts of food to feed. Plus they smell better than Mexicans (although this is debatable).