Fark.com Logo
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

       more options... Create account
Stay logged in until from now
(CNN) Amusing Wearealladdictedtocaffeine (408)
Clicked 24093 times; posted to Main on Tue, 22 Jul 2008 at 3:57 PM
 (add to Favorites)

Comments


  
Tribbles [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 12:01:58 PM  
*jitters* No! No! Parakeet!

 
tnpir [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 12:30:39 PM  
SHUT UP DAMMIT I'M FINE GET OUTTA THE WAY THE HELLL IS YOUR PROBLEM ELEVENTY11!!!1

 
GAT_00 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 12:34:41 PM  
LIKEOHMYGODSUBBYINEVERWOULDHAVEKNOWNTHATIFYOUHADN'TTOLDMECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEE

 
Visualingo [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 12:37:54 PM  
As someone who knocks out a Rockstar daily (and 24 oz on Saturday), I resemble that remark.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 12:44:18 PM  
And sugar. And TV.

 
NikolaiFarkoff [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 12:54:19 PM  
I've switched to 85% ethanol instead.

 
EsteeFlwrPot [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 12:59:01 PM  
Coffee makes me poop a lot, especially at work. I try to avoid it but sometimes im so tired I need a cup and then I end up having to go. It sucks.

 
sterben [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 01:07:04 PM  
You can have my coffee when you pry it from my shaky, jittery hand!

/got a 4 cup coffee maker at work so I wouldn't make 8 cups and drink it all
//now I make coffee twice a day :(

 
The Icelander [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 01:08:54 PM  
WHYISTHISABADTHING?

\Has a coke and a red bull on his desk right now

 
Dynascape [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 01:15:00 PM  
Keep your hands off my Bawls.

 
MaxxLarge [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 01:19:17 PM  
To those who bemoan and abhor
The addicts of coffee galore
It's time to rejoice!
For their main drug of choice
Is closing its stores by the score.

 
The Onanist [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 01:29:10 PM  
I was able to wean myself off caffeine a couple years ago, although I enjoy a good cuppa Joe from time to time, I'm no longer addicted.

/I know, goody for me.

 
swingerhead [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 01:39:23 PM  
Its suprising how much energy you have, and even wake up with, when you eat correctly and go to sleep at a decent time. I dont drink coffee for any reason but because I feel like it, just like a coke or beer. I'm not old enough to say "Get off my lawn" yet but have learned from the old folks a few things.

 
Con_Authority [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 01:51:08 PM  
submitter: Wearealladdictedtocaffeine

I do not partake in the consumption of caffeine sir.

 
ThatGuyGreg [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 01:53:42 PM  
It's not an addiction, it's a dependency... sheesh.

 
Adman12 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 02:16:25 PM  
ThatGuyGreg: It's not an addiction, it's a dependency... sheesh.

Oh, I'm definitely addicted. Withdrawal is worse than a hangover.

 
SpeshilEdjukashin [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 02:17:02 PM  
Not me, I gave up my caffeine addiction years ago.

 
The Icelander [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 02:35:40 PM  
swingerhead: Its suprising how much energy you have, and even wake up with, when you eat correctly and go to sleep at a decent time. I dont drink coffee for any reason but because I feel like it, just like a coke or beer. I'm not old enough to say "Get off my lawn" yet but have learned from the old folks a few things.

Early to rise and early to bed make a man healthy but socially dead.

 
Canadian Canuck [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 02:52:58 PM  
Amazingly enough, I have never had a single cup of coffee in my entire life yet I live in Vancouver.

I know, I'm very awesome. Please, no autographs.

/I'm dead serious
//I also don't own a TV

 
Jubeebee [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 02:54:30 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: Coffee makes me poop a lot, especially at work. I try to avoid it but sometimes im so tired I need a cup and then I end up having to go. It sucks.

But then you're getting PAID to poop. I can't think of a better time to go than at work.

 
dogdaze [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 03:09:29 PM  
i219.photobucket.com

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 03:10:55 PM  
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion;
It is by the bean of java that thoughts acquire speed.
Caffine will cause the shakes; the shakes provide a warning:
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.

 
Daffydil [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 03:25:01 PM  
Jubeebee-But then you're getting PAID to poop. I can't think of a better time to go than at work.

This...

 
tweekster 2008-07-22 04:00:17 PM  
Tea is better

 
ObscureNameHere 2008-07-22 04:01:51 PM  
abb3w: It is by will alone I set my mind in motion;
It is by the bean of java that thoughts acquire speed.
Caffine will cause the shakes; the shakes provide a warning:
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.


The coffee must flow!

We have just folded space from Tim Hortons. Many machines on Tim Hortons.

 
Sarcastica75 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:01:55 PM  
Is that what we're calling it now?

/oh!
//um, yeah! Caffeine!

 
CygnusDarius 2008-07-22 04:02:20 PM  
Jubeebee: But then you're getting PAID to poop. I can't think of a better time to go than at work.

So, you work in german porn, do you?.

 
iollow 2008-07-22 04:02:35 PM  
"I can definitely say without a doubt that I am addicted to caffeine," said Sarah Kripal, mother of two from Lincoln, Nebraska. "I need about four energy drinks, three cups of coffee and a six-pack of soda every day."

Dear god.

 
Wareq 2008-07-22 04:02:36 PM  
No contest here
/on my 3rd cup of tea

 
FriarReb98 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:02:39 PM  
The three can's worth of Mountain Dew in me say for you TO SHUT UP!!!!

 
robisfunky [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:03:18 PM  
users.planetmadtv.com
approves

 
satanorsanta 2008-07-22 04:03:20 PM  
users.planetmadtv.com
/approves

 
AR55 2008-07-22 04:03:24 PM  
Is this the thread where we compare caffeine to heroine?

 
Lizard 2008-07-22 04:03:51 PM  
I used to do a Monster:Chaos in the morning & two Arizona Energy with lunch. The crash around 4pm was scary!

 
satanorsanta 2008-07-22 04:03:55 PM  
damn

 
tinyarena 2008-07-22 04:04:11 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot
Coffee makes me poop a lot, especially at work. I try to avoid it but sometimes im so tired I need a cup and then I end up having to go. It sucks.

The Aristocrats!

 
Necropenguin 2008-07-22 04:04:20 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: Coffee makes me poop a lot, especially at work. I try to avoid it but sometimes im so tired I need a cup and then I end up having to go. It sucks.

Damn, that would explain it. I should reduce my intake from my normal 4 pots a day.

 
ultraholland [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:04:35 PM  
I started making my own mochas with good coca powder and whipped cream. It's like making crack in your kitchen and smoking it.

 
rib246 2008-07-22 04:04:59 PM  
The Icelander 2008-07-22 01:08:54 PM
WHYISTHISABADTHING?

\Has a coke and a red bullnose on his desk mirror right now


fixed that for you...

 
digitalpcp 2008-07-22 04:05:18 PM  
FTA: "I'm just waiting for someone to invent a caffeine patch that we hit in the morning and we say, 'Time to wake the kids. We're ready to go!'"

Don't they already have caffeine pills, and wouldn't pills be more efficient than a patch anyway?

 
EsteeFlwrPot [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:05:38 PM  
Jubeebee: But then you're getting PAID to poop. I can't think of a better time to go than at work.

True. Also, I fark at work. We all get paid to poop and fark at work.

tweekster: Tea is better

I dont feel shiat when I drink tea. In fact, I drink tea when I want to go to sleep.

 
robisfunky [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:05:49 PM  
satanorsanta: /approves

Beat ya by 2 seconds!

 
Isuldirs 2008-07-22 04:06:14 PM  
Proud to say I have had only a SIP of coffee in my entire life.

/Smell makes me sick
//Had a sip for $100

 
Epiphany 2008-07-22 04:06:24 PM  
Coffee is not my drug of choice. I would rather smoke cigarettes while drinking and rocking the gange.

When I do take caffeine to be "awake" I drink RockStars, and then feel like shiat as soon as it wears off

 
RQB1018 2008-07-22 04:06:29 PM  
HOLY CRAP!! Two Seconds. That's some kind of record.

 
Bartleby the Scrivener 2008-07-22 04:06:33 PM  
i support a ban. caffeine drinks contribute to death. i don't want to pay. this why the chinese are beating us and children are our precious resources.

wake up america!

 
Arkanaut 2008-07-22 04:06:51 PM  
Did anyone else read the first few words of the article and see "douche latte in the morning"?

/Friggin' Starbucks
//need coffee

 
hockeychick 2008-07-22 04:07:08 PM  
I miss coffee. Had to give it up when I got pregnant again. It's just not worth getting out of bed in the morning without a steaming cup of wake the fark up stupid.

Best coffee I ever had was what I like to refer to as radio station sludge. I worked the overnight shift and it was the dregs left in the pot after about 16 hours. So solid you practically had to cut through it with a knife. That crap will keep you up all night. God I miss that stuff...

 
Lizard 2008-07-22 04:07:13 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot 2008-07-22 12:59:01 PM
Coffee makes me poop a lot, especially at work. I try to avoid it but sometimes im so tired I need a cup and then I end up having to go. It sucks.

The thing that I found out about my coffee intake wasn't the taste of it as much as the sugar. Have you looked at that?

 
CygnusDarius 2008-07-22 04:07:28 PM  

 
Xenow 2008-07-22 04:07:32 PM  
I have a pot (12 cups) of coffee in the morning that I chug down in about an hour, a 24 ounce Monster energy and 250mg caffeine pill at lunch at work, and then another pot (12 cups) of coffee at night that I drink from about 10pm until 2 am.

/not addicted to caffeine at all, no way, not possible

 
emocomputerjock [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:08:04 PM  
robisfunky: approves

Came for this, can leave happy now.

/Death to America

 
Mucha Cerveza 2008-07-22 04:08:06 PM  
My daily Cuban coffe intake

img297.imageshack.us
img297.imageshack.us

 
robisfunky [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:08:11 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: I dont feel shiat when I drink tea. In fact, I drink tea when I want to go to sleep.

durham21.co.uk

 
Feldspar Q. Walrustitty 2008-07-22 04:08:21 PM  
Bullshiat.

Here in Ogden I only know a few people who drink ANY caffeine.

 
Quantum Apostrophe 2008-07-22 04:08:45 PM  
You know, you can get caffeine pills at the pharmacy. The store brand is quite cheap. Why bother paying for over-priced sugar water?

 
lukelightning 2008-07-22 04:08:45 PM  
Proud to say I have had only a SIP of coffee in my entire life.

What do you want, a farking medal?

 
shavethewhales 2008-07-22 04:09:16 PM  
Been off caffeine for 8 years...

/I'm significant
//screamed the dust speck

 
retarded [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:09:24 PM  
Today makes four days without a cigarette, can I please get a what what up in here.

/I want one so bad

 
ga362 2008-07-22 04:09:30 PM  
Next time two mormons (ya know, white shirts, narrow ties, riding bicycle with dippy looking helmets) approach you, tell them you'll listen to their speel over a good cup of coffee. They'll split like you have ringworm.

 
FunkOut 2008-07-22 04:09:41 PM  
I used to be a caffeine addict. No coffee, just energy drinks, Jolt, and Barq's. I ran on 5 hours of sleep a day. Around 25 I started to lose tolerance for the caffeine. Today I had Dr. Pepper and thought I was having a heart attack. Wish I could get decaf Dr. Pepper.

/Jolt and Skittles remind me of university.

 
Global Citizen 2008-07-22 04:10:25 PM  
i don't drink coffee. if i'm sleepy at work i just take a nap.

getting paid to sleep ftw

 
Sarcastica75 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:10:27 PM  
I'm Colombian, so I am getting heart palpitations from this thread.

 
fizzix_is_fun 2008-07-22 04:10:40 PM  
I cut caffeine out of my diet when I had bad insomnia in college. It was one of about 4 things I changed because getting 8 hours of sleep a week doesn't make you feel all that great.

 
Did I spell this correctly 2008-07-22 04:10:47 PM  
"I can definitely say without a doubt that I am addicted to caffeine," said Sarah Kripal, mother of two from Lincoln, Nebraska. "I need about four energy drinks, three cups of coffee and a six-pack of soda every day."

Great Zombie Jesus! She should switch to coke, it might be healthier.

 
Isuldirs 2008-07-22 04:10:53 PM  
lukelightning: What do you want, a farking medal?

Dude, I live most my year in Vancouver BC. I deserve one.

/So many coffee shops up here

 
Xenow 2008-07-22 04:10:58 PM  
So lets see, if a cup of coffee is 150mg, then I'm having at least:

24*150 = 3600mg from coffee
About 500mg from the extra large monster
250mg from the pill

A good solid 4350mg of caffeine a day, although I take an extra caffeine pill before I go to the gym too on days I go, putting me at a solid 4600mg.

 
TheLittleLemon 2008-07-22 04:11:46 PM  
TYPO!!!!!
FTFA: "We work full time, our kids our busier than ever,"

should be "our kids are busier"

 
Blues Drive Monster 2008-07-22 04:11:48 PM  
i28.photobucket.com
How about 100 CUPS?!?

 
EsteeFlwrPot [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:12:02 PM  
ultraholland: I started making my own mochas with good coca powder and whipped cream.

COFFEE SNOB THREAD!!!

I have my coffee roasted by virgin monks in Tibet with beans from the backyard of quadriplegic Spanish flamenco dancers.

 
catzies 2008-07-22 04:12:12 PM  
Adman12

Oh, I'm definitely addicted. Withdrawal is worse than a hangover.

This. So very this. I'll never give up coffee because the headaches are unbearable.

Note to caffeine-loving farkers having surgery: ask for caffeine in your IV. No withdrawal-related headaches in post-op. It's brilliant, I tells ya.

 
tweekster 2008-07-22 04:13:06 PM  
It is amazing how much better you feel when you go from heavy dependence on coffee (any more than 1 cup a day) to nothing a day.

If you need coffee to get going in the morning you feel like shiat and don't even realize it because it has been so long since you have felt good.

Take a month off and you will realize just what a drain coffee really is.

I still love a good cup of joe but it will never be a part of my routine again.

 
Sarcastica75 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:13:30 PM  
Well, time for me to get a cup.

/Guatemala Antigua beans... so farking good.

 
Bag-o-Nugs [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:13:32 PM  
I can gladly say that I am not addicted to caffeine. I can shamefully add that I am addicted to all sorts of other crap.

 
Single White Male 2008-07-22 04:13:32 PM  
Why is it okay to drink coffee while on the job, but not okay to do a couple lines while on my break? It's senseless, I tell you.

 
DIGITALgimpus 2008-07-22 04:13:34 PM  
I pretty much gave it up. Used to drink soft drinks, and iced/hot tea quite a bit...

Then realized one day I was drinking it not because I wanted to, but because I didn't want a headache.

Now I'll have something every so often... but I can go weeks without anything containing caffeine. SOOO much better.

I found with less caffeine I'm actually more alert and need less sleep. Ends up the highs bring about even worse lows. Running level all day is far superior to a half intoxicated state.

 
Finger51 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:14:12 PM  
iollow: "I can definitely say without a doubt that I am addicted to caffeine," said Sarah Kripal, mother of two from Lincoln, Nebraska. "I need about four energy drinks, three cups of coffee and a six-pack of soda every day."

Dear god.


Yeah no doubt. She should really keep an eye on her bone density and teeth. the soda (phosphoric acid) alone is really bad for your bones.
I love coffee but I never drink soda. Too much sugar.

 
Compulsive Liar 1986 2008-07-22 04:14:20 PM  
i can spot rockstar addicts here at work from a mile away. thanks to the rockstar exclusive vending machine in the cafeteria, people i once knew and enjoyed the company of now seem to suffer from some borderline personality disorder.

 
Monkeypillow 2008-07-22 04:14:25 PM  
Bartleby the Scrivener: i support a ban. caffeine drinks contribute to death. i don't want to pay. this why the chinese are beating us and children are our precious resources.

wake up america!


THAT'S THE PROBLEM!

WE NEED CAFFEINE TO WAKE UP.

 
Lt. Cheese Weasel 2008-07-22 04:14:26 PM  
Only 2 cups of joe a day. That is all. I have all of my habits and vices under complete control and can quit at any time. But I don't so I can continue to demonstrate my mastery over myself. I can't hear you for the sound of how awesome I am. That and my loud cubicle mate is screaming at somebody about their email problem. It's very funny.

 
thelordofcheese 2008-07-22 04:15:10 PM  
Try alcohol, subby!
/whyrya lukin ah meh?

 
Bf+ 2008-07-22 04:15:21 PM  
Lizard: The thing that I found out about my coffee intake wasn't the taste of it as much as the sugar. Have you looked at that?

Ditto-- Switched to caffeine-water and accidentally weaned myself off of caffeine. Turns out it was the sugar I craved mostly.
/mostly

FunkOut: I had Dr. Pepper and thought I was having a heart attack.

ditto.

Wish I could get decaf Dr. Pepper.

Here you go:
academic.marion.ohio-state.edu

 
youngandstupid [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:15:23 PM  
I know I'm not addictied to that farking shiat. Cigarettes and alcohol all the way baby.

 
JuanValdeez 2008-07-22 04:15:24 PM  
she goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper...

what a drag it is getting old

/if you know the song, you're old
//like me

 
mrkowz 2008-07-22 04:15:50 PM  
Mother nature will be like S l o o o o o o w w w w w d o o o o w w w n n n... and you'll be like farkYOU and kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS!

 
EsteeFlwrPot [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:15:59 PM  
The thing that I found out about my coffee intake wasn't the taste of it as much as the sugar. Have you looked at that?

What?

robisfunky

I laughed so hard at that I got serious dirty looks from my coworkers. They can all kiss my overcaffinared brown ass. This place sucks dick.

 
Daffydil [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:16:03 PM  
tweekster-Take a month off and you will realize just what a drain coffee really is.

I still love a good cup of joe but it will never be a part of my routine again.


Foshizzle? You didn't change anything else in your routine?

 
ultraholland [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:17:01 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: COFFEE SNOB THREAD!!!

I have my coffee roasted by virgin monks in Tibet with beans from the backyard of quadriplegic Spanish flamenco dancers.


You also poop uncontrollably :P

 
databit [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:17:02 PM  
Once you are dependent on caffeine (nicotine), you no longer drink (smoke) to get ahead, you drink (smoke) to get back to normality. Your body stops certain functions that caffeine (nicotine) take the place of and if you do not drink (smoke) then your body does not do it itself because it is expecting caffeine (nicotine) to do it for it, thus you get sleepy (cranky), headaches (phlegmy), etcoontil it is deprived of caffeine (nicotine) long enough for the body's normal systems to kick in.

That said, I quit caffeine cold turkey some years back because I was having regular migraines. Following my release from caffeine, I had a migraine for a week solid that had me barely able to move. Since then I have stopped having migraines. I am now no longer dependant on caffeine and I am able to enjoy an occasional coke or coffee and actually get some buzz out of it instead of just putting me back to normality.

 
riffrafff 2008-07-22 04:17:11 PM  
"Java java java java java java java java java java java java java java..."

thecia.com.au

 
SlothB77 2008-07-22 04:17:20 PM  
"I can definitely say without a doubt that I am addicted to caffeine," said Sarah Kripal, mother of two from Lincoln, Nebraska. "I need about four energy drinks, three cups of coffee and a six-pack of soda every day."

if we are addicted to caffeine, why is starbucks closing all those stores?

 
DeathByGeekSquad 2008-07-22 04:17:22 PM  
swingerhead: Its suprising how much energy you have, and even wake up with, when you eat correctly and go to sleep at a decent time. I dont drink coffee for any reason but because I feel like it, just like a coke or beer. I'm not old enough to say "Get off my lawn" yet but have learned from the old folks a few things.

Once you identify your natural sleep cycle, things are pretty groovy. Mine is 3-5AM to Noon, no joke. If I try to fall asleep earlier, I wake up after 8-13 hours confused, befuddled, and generally still asleep.

Long story short, I used to literally survive each day off of Caffiene. Nothing but riding the wave of shortlived energy, refueling when I began to crash, until a 'coordinated' crash to make me fall asleep. Wasn't fun, wasn't too healthy at all, and I'm glad to be out of it.

/TMI!

 
give me doughnuts [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:17:24 PM  
Wow. Thanks for the scoop, Romero.

/addicted to coffee and Diet Mt. Dew.

 
neritz 2008-07-22 04:17:28 PM  
Bartleby the Scrivener: wake up america!

I'm trying to, but the 8th cup of coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

 
hockeychick 2008-07-22 04:17:31 PM  
mrkowz: Mother nature will be like S l o o o o o o w w w w w d o o o o w w w n n n... and you'll be like farkYOU and kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS!

But will you be good at sports? How about running as fast as Kenyans?

 
ValkyrieIsAboutToDie 2008-07-22 04:17:59 PM  
THE WAR ON DRUGS IS FAILING.

 
red5ish 2008-07-22 04:18:23 PM  
Am I the only one to notice the Starbucks server in the photo?
That would keep me awake.

 
Rozinante 2008-07-22 04:18:29 PM  
Coffee is for closers!

 
Huracan1 2008-07-22 04:19:27 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: Coffee makes me poop a lot, especially at work. I try to avoid it but sometimes im so tired I need a cup and then I end up having to go. It sucks.

I'm dissapointed to have you acknowledge that women use their assh*le's for biological purposes.

/had always assumed that a woman's assh*le was designed by god to give men sexual pleasure.

 
mr iso [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:19:27 PM  
I gave up coffee for 5 days, couldn't sleep, I finally gave in and had a double espresso last night at 9pm and slept like a log.

/i think that's my third time posting that today
//srsly

 
STFU_and_RTFM [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:19:27 PM  
retarded: Today makes four days without a cigarette, can I please get a what what up in here.

I feel your pain. My trick: Always think about how you're going to not smoke, never, ever think about why you're not going to smoke. Rationalization occurs quickly.

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:19:30 PM  
It is by coffee alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of java that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by coffee alone I set my mind in motion.

 
Admiral_Halsey 2008-07-22 04:19:32 PM  
I noticed when I quit smoking for a while, that I didn't feel like a dead animal upon waking each morning. I wonder if it's the same with coffee?

/smokes
//Drinks insane amounts of coffee
///Systems Admin. We aren't "normal"

 
boatman 2008-07-22 04:19:33 PM  
In February this year I woke up one day and literally thought to myself "I am going to give up pop".

I also switched from the "brand name" coffee in the local customer's cafeteria to the "no-name" coffee. It was $1 vs $2/cup. I can't tell the difference.

Before that I was a 6-pack of diet coke a day drinker + 2-3 coffees.

I had a headache for a week - now I do not miss pop at all and I figure I've saved about $1000 since then.

 
emocomputerjock [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:19:58 PM  
red5ish: Am I the only one to notice the Starbucks server in the photo?
That would keep me awake.


Yeah, her 18head would force you to sleep at an awkward angle.

 
impaler [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:20:19 PM  
Addict?

deus-ex-machinima.net

 
Five Tails of Fury 2008-07-22 04:20:26 PM  
Canadian Canuck: Amazingly enough, I have never had a single cup of coffee in my entire life yet I live in Vancouver.

I know, I'm very awesome. Please, no autographs.

/I'm dead serious
//I also don't own a TV


The Starbucks police would like to speak with you. They won't be long, there's one on every corner...

/vancouverite
//decaf plz

 
Wendy's Chili 2008-07-22 04:20:26 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: ultraholland: I started making my own mochas with good coca powder and whipped cream.

COFFEE SNOB THREAD!!!

I have my coffee roasted by virgin monks in Tibet with beans from the backyard of quadriplegic Spanish flamenco dancers.


I almost forgot why I love you after the poop comment, but now I remember.

 
CruJones 2008-07-22 04:20:47 PM  
all I know is I get angry when I see parents buying iced coffee or some such stuff for their little kids. That's just farking wrong.

 
EsteeFlwrPot [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:20:53 PM  
boatman: In February this year I woke up one day and literally thought to myself "I am going to give up pop".

Why would you want to give up your parents?

/coffee ftw!

 
FairyFacade 2008-07-22 04:21:08 PM  
Unfortunately I don't like the taste of coffee (I have tried!), and I don't drink cokes.
But I love caffeine, so I take caffeine pills. Nom nom nom.

 
Rakishi 2008-07-22 04:21:10 PM  
I go into mild withdrawal without caffeine however I don't need particularly much of it. If you need 10 cups a day because otherwise you're dead tired then you're probably just horribly sleep deprived. If you need 10 cups because otherwise you get headaches and so on then you may be addicted.

 
Sabalo 2008-07-22 04:21:16 PM  
RetiredTroll: Caffeine is mostly for lazy people who don't know how to sleep and eat right and exercise. Not that I really care, everyone should go out there and do whatever their drug of choice happens to be. Those people drinking 8 cups a day...don't think you're any better than any other junky.

I eat right and exercise, but sleep requires time, and time is a precious commodity.

Besides, everyone knows that coffee cures cancer and whatnot.

 
Cubicle Convict 2008-07-22 04:21:49 PM  
Adderall FTW.

/does not have ADHD.

 
Hack Patooey 2008-07-22 04:22:01 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: Coffee makes me poop a lot, especially at work. I try to avoid it but sometimes im so tired I need a cup and then I end up having to go. It sucks.

Giggity

 
que.guero 2008-07-22 04:22:09 PM  
oregonmag.com

Coffee is proof that if there was a God, it would love us.

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:22:43 PM  
CruJones: That's just farking wrong.

Only to Americans really.

 
tweekster 2008-07-22 04:22:47 PM  
Daffydil: Foshizzle? You didn't change anything else in your routine?

At the time I did exercise regularly and eat pretty healthy. But I was also in college and drank, alot, frequently.

I was pretty much always beat and the caffeine hardly even helped and I was having a lot of it, 2 shots of espresso in the morning and repeat that a couple of times during the day.

The quality of sleep I was getting was pretty marginal (because of the caffeine) too.

Basically I cut out the coffee and drank more water and felt a hell of a lot better all around.

 
techmom [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:23:13 PM  
FTA: Author and parenting expert Stacy DeBroff says today's moms are the busiest ever. "We have crammed lives. We work full time, our kids our busier than ever, and we are finding ourselves always on the go."

Shut up, shut up SHUTUP. Today's mom's do different things. They don't have to milk the cow while the bread is rising so they can churn the butter as the bread bakes so their enormous brood of children can have some farking toast with breakfast. And that's before 7AM.

Entitled, caffeine-addicted apologist beeyotch; you don't know how good you've got it.

/dear God, I need a vacation

 
FarkinHostile 2008-07-22 04:23:34 PM  
I make my coffee strong, so strong I call it "Crack coffee".

"Every sip is like a hit off the pipe."

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:23:49 PM  
techmom: dear God, I need a vacation

sounds ot me like you need some coffee ;)

 
AngryWhiteMale 2008-07-22 04:23:54 PM  
Only because caffeine is socially acceptable and meth can't be found on every friggin' corner in this country.

 
dragonfly56 2008-07-22 04:23:55 PM  
tweekster: Tea is better

THIS.

 
EsteeFlwrPot [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:24:04 PM  
Wendy's Chili: I almost forgot why I love you after the poop comment, but now I remember.

I thought it was because I said I would let you put the tip in my butt.

/boooo decaf!

 
riffrafff 2008-07-22 04:24:15 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: ultraholland: I started making my own mochas with good coca powder and whipped cream.

COFFEE SNOB THREAD!!!

I have my coffee roasted by virgin monks in Tibet with beans from the backyard of quadriplegic Spanish flamenco dancers.


Meh. Noob. Roast it yourself.

Link (new window)

 
Huck Chaser 2008-07-22 04:24:26 PM  
FunkOut: Wish I could get decaf Dr. Pepper

This!!

shavethewhales: Been off caffeine for 8 years...

/I'm significant
//screamed the dust speck


10 points for the Calvin and Hobbes reference.

/so the score is not Q to 12

 
NuclearWinter [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:24:35 PM  
I'm trying. I really am...

/Drink Sprite Zero and water mainly.
//But Mountain Dew calls to me from the vending machines.
///DAMN YOU YOU GREEN BOTTLE OF TACHYCARDIA!

 
Daffydil [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:25:11 PM  
i201.photobucket.com

The best part of waking up....

tweekster

I drink two cups of coffee in the morning and drink about 10 glasses of water per day...that's how I justify my coffee. I should probably stop all together as well.

 
WalMartian 2008-07-22 04:25:34 PM  
Xenow: I have a pot (12 cups) of coffee in the morning that I chug down in about an hour, a 24 ounce Monster energy and 250mg caffeine pill at lunch at work, and then another pot (12 cups) of coffee at night that I drink from about 10pm until 2 am.

/not addicted to caffeine at all, no way, not possible


I can haz defibrillator?

 
farkMcFark 2008-07-22 04:26:36 PM  
There's nothing wrong with caffeine I like caffeine caffeine is great it makes you productive i drink coffee I drink tea I drink all the energy drinks it makes me feel good it keeps me awake I like caffeine the jitters it gives me feel good I get goosebumps I like caffeine when I feel like I need that fix I take this

images.thinkgeek.com

 
Daffydil [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:26:41 PM  
techmom-Entitled, caffeine-addicted apologist beeyotch; you don't know how good you've got it.

/dear God, I need a vacation


Agreed...we've got it pretty good. ;)

 
dragonfly56 2008-07-22 04:26:51 PM  
Bartleby the Scrivener: i support a ban. caffeine drinks contribute to death. i don't want to pay. this why the chinese are beating us and children are our precious resources.

wake up america!


Yup right after my first cup of tea.

 
tweekster 2008-07-22 04:26:58 PM  
Daffydil: tweekster

I drink two cups of coffee in the morning and drink about 10 glasses of water per day...that's how I justify my coffee. I should probably stop all together as well.


I know quite a few people that take down about a pot a day easily.

Give tea try, a bit of caffeine plus all sorts of health benefits.

 
Bartleby the Scrivener 2008-07-22 04:27:08 PM  
i like my women like i like my coffee: hand-picked by itinerant workers, put in a burlap sack, and slung over the back end of a burro.

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:27:23 PM  
If you really need a lot of caffeine and you're in Chicago, go to The Fixx Coffee Bar. They have drinks that will keep you awake for a month or so.

 
magicalOne 2008-07-22 04:27:26 PM  
no coffee for me either - 43 yrs and counting

/tastes like dirt

 
WalMartian 2008-07-22 04:27:52 PM  
shavethewhales: Been off caffeine for 8 years...

/I'm significant
//screamed the dust speck


Yay, Calvin and Hobbes!

 
FairyFacade 2008-07-22 04:28:22 PM  
farkMcFark: There's nothing wrong with caffeine I like caffeine caffeine is great it makes you productive i drink coffee I drink tea I drink all the energy drinks it makes me feel good it keeps me awake I like caffeine the jitters it gives me feel good I get goosebumps I like caffeine when I feel like I need that fix I take this

I like what you did there, I LOL'd.

 
riffrafff 2008-07-22 04:28:37 PM  
impaler: Addict?

I'll be in my bunk...

 
amq 2008-07-22 04:28:38 PM  
i was able to decrease my caffeine dependency by adding vyvanse to the mix. not sure that was wise but i feel like a million bucks.

 
Daffydil [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:29:04 PM  
tweekster-Give tea try, a bit of caffeine plus all sorts of health benefits.

You're saying drinking tea has health benefits? What type tea you drinkin' there Mister?

 
DIGITALgimpus 2008-07-22 04:29:17 PM  
My problem with coffee is the smell.

People who drink it insist when they brush their teeth it's gone... but in reality, they are in denial like smokers. Steam gets in your hair and clothing... not to mention home if you make it in your home. Just get used to it.

 
emocomputerjock [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:30:22 PM  
Daffydil: tweekster-Give tea try, a bit of caffeine plus all sorts of health benefits.

You're saying drinking tea has health benefits? What type tea you drinkin' there Mister?


I'm putting 5 on mescaline.

 
busy chillin' 2008-07-22 04:31:02 PM  
I like my women like I like my coffee...hot and creamy

I like my women like I like my coffee....cold and bitter

 
Daffydil [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:31:18 PM  
emocomputerjock-I'm putting 5 on mescaline.

*snicker*

 
tweekster 2008-07-22 04:31:19 PM  
Daffydil: tweekster-Give tea try, a bit of caffeine plus all sorts of health benefits.

You're saying drinking tea has health benefits? What type tea you drinkin' there Mister?


Green tea, white, black, red.
Tea has lots of antioxidants among other healthy properties.
Including the amount of caffeine it does have (caffeine is good for you after all, just not over doing it.

 
EsteeFlwrPot [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:31:20 PM  
DIGITALgimpus: People who drink it insist when they brush their teeth it's gone... but in reality, they are in denial like smokers. Steam gets in your hair and clothing... not to mention home if you make it in your home. Just get used to it.

Coffee smells awesome and if I ever met someone that smelled like coffee I would kidnap them and hang them in my room as an air freshener.

/what

 
enemigo_de_pepe 2008-07-22 04:31:27 PM  
I used to be a caffeine addict. No coffee, just energy drinks, Jolt, and Barq's. I ran on 5 hours of sleep a day. Around 25 I started to lose tolerance for the caffeine. Today I had Dr. Pepper and thought I was having a heart attack. Wish I could get decaf Dr. Pepper.

Isn't Barq's non-caffeinated?

 
basehitter10 2008-07-22 04:31:32 PM  
JuanValdeez: she goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper...

what a drag it is getting old

/if you know the song, you're old
//like me


I resemble that remark.

/knows every word

 
EsteeFlwrPot [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:32:27 PM  
I like my men like I like my coffee... half white with a big dick.

/sorry

 
tweekster 2008-07-22 04:32:38 PM  
DIGITALgimpus: My problem with coffee is the smell.

People who drink it insist when they brush their teeth it's gone... but in reality, they are in denial like smokers. Steam gets in your hair and clothing... not to mention home if you make it in your home. Just get used to it.


Try working at a coffee shop. It gets in your skin, and your piss smells like coffee.

 
StandsWithAFist 2008-07-22 04:33:06 PM  
Mucha Cerveza: My daily Cuban coffe intake

I used to survive on that stuff in college. Just a thimbleful of concentrated caffeine - with its fine espresso-colored foam of whipped sugar - was like the nectar of the gods.

Now the only caffeine I can do is a couple Excedrin before my real migraine meds kick in.

/really miss Cuban coffee
//no, really

 
Lt. Cheese Weasel 2008-07-22 04:33:29 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: I like my men like I like my coffee... half white with a big dick.

/sorry


THIS is why we can't have nice things.

 
Daffydil [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:33:39 PM  
tweekster

I understand oolong is supposed to be better for you than green, but I've not tried it yet.

Link (new window)

 
impaler [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:33:52 PM  
I really like caffeine and coffee especially when I get up in the morning and my eyes are hanging heavy but I need to put in my contacts and its hard to make coffee as the machine is blurry and I can't tell how much coffee is in the scoop so maybe I overload it oh well but then I get to work with the thermos full and I make another pot in the early afternoon and I drink that too because I always want to take nap after lunch but I don't because of my coffee.

 
Dance 2008-07-22 04:34:06 PM  
Isuldirs: Proud to say I have had only a SIP of coffee in my entire life.

/Smell makes me sick
//Had a sip for $100


I've never had coffee, not even a sip.

I drink 2-3 pops a day though.

 
Nathan Brazil 2008-07-22 04:34:11 PM  
I've never been a coffee drinker. I just don't get what makes people like that stuff so much, especially when they put in so much other stuff that completely smothers the original flavor. But there was a time about 16 years ago I was drinking way too much caffeinated soft drinks. Then my supply got cut off and I thought I'd caught some really nasty virus or something. I felt awful and barely drag myself through the day. But after a couple of days I was fine and realized what had happened.

Now I save caffeine for when I really need it. It's a lot more effective that way.

 
Daffydil [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:34:32 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot-I like my men like I like my coffee... half white with a big dick.

/sorry


Gah! Dammit!! That made me laugh! Kinda squished the air through my nose.

 
Cubicle Convict 2008-07-22 04:34:49 PM  
busy chillin': I like my women like I like my coffee...hot and creamy

I like my women like I like my coffee....cold and bitter


I like my women like I like my coffee....ground up and in the freezer.

 
EsteeFlwrPot [TotalFark] 2008-07-22 04:34:54 PM  
tweekster: It gets in your skin, and your piss smells like coffee.

That is the funniest thing i've ever heard in my life. I dont know if it was the word piss that made me laugh so hard or picturing what you posted. I'm so getting fired today.

/yay coffee

 
almejita 2008-07-22 04:34:59 PM  
Caffeine wrecks my stomach, so I avoid it.

Seriously HURTS when I accidentally drink it in soda or some shiat.

 
tokinGLX 2008-07-22 04:35:00 PM  
i stopped drinking soda and cut back DRASTICALLY on my coffee consumption after i started smoking/vaporizing marijuana. yay pot.

nowdays it is weird...2 cups of coffee will get me wired for a couple hours.

 
MrNiX 2008-07-22 04:35:02 PM  
Daffydil: tweekster-Give tea try, a bit of caffeine plus all sorts of health benefits.

You're saying drinking tea has health benefits? What type tea you drinkin' there Mister?


Green?

/ coffee in the mornings, tea in the afternoons

 
permaculture 2008-07-22 04:35:19 PM  

 
nakedthursday 2008-07-22 04:35:42 PM  
I'm shocked at the lack of mention of Yerba Mate in this thread.

 
tweekster 2008-07-22 04:36:01 PM  
Daffydil: tweekster

I understand oolong is supposed to be better for you than green, but I've not tried it yet.

Link (new window)


It may be wikipedia but here is a good bit of basic info and a starting place

Green teas are typically the "best" for you but I have seen studies on pretty much all kinds of teas have various benefits.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potential_effects_of_tea_on_health

 
KeatingFive 2008-07-22 04:36:07 PM  
I GOTTA start cutting back.

 
safeinsane 2008-07-22 04:36:28 PM  
TFA: Double latte in the morning, soda with lunch, energy drink at midday. Sound familiar?

No. No, it doesn't.

/loves the smell of coffee
//doesn't drink it
///hell, i don't even drink milk or sodas anymore

 
tinyarena 2008-07-22 04:36:39 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot
Coffee makes me poop a lot, especially at work. I try to avoid it but sometimes im so tired I need a cup and then I end up havi