Baseball
”Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams Ringing The NASDAQ Opening Bell Tomorrow
This is the most incongruous pairing of sports and the financial markets since Lenny Dykstra first emailed Jim Cramer. How did this happen? What in the world has the Wild Thing been up to since his baseball career ended? He started his own Wild Thing Southpaw Salsa. Well, of course he did. Mitch Williams—a Coen brothers character brought to life. More »
Through The Looking Glass With Nine-Year-Old Jericho Scott
The parents of Jericho Scott, the nine-year-old New Haven, Conn. pitcher who was banned from pitching because he is too good, are officially suing the youth league that is disbanding his team. In response, the league held a press conference to tell their side of the story, and a huge mob of reporters showed up. Meanwhile, David Letterman, Jay Leno and Ellen DeGeneres are all in a mad scramble to be the first to land Jericho as a guest. Well, at least no one is getting crazy over this. More »Common Sense Strikes Out: The Curious Case Of Jericho Scott
Nine-year-old Jericho Scott has been banned from pitching in a New Haven, Conn., youth baseball league because he throws so hard that he frightens the other players, according to league officials. But he took to the mound on Saturday anyway, so the other team simply dropped their bats and left the field, refusing to face him (San Diego Padres: "You can do that?"). Next logical step for all involved? Lawsuits! See, this is why I love you, America. More »Ten Reasons The Little League World Series Sucks
It was close, but Little League baseball did end before Labor Day this year. Waipahu, Hawaii beat Matamoros, Mexico, 12-3, in the title game of the Little League World Series on Sunday; meaning that the two teams were in contention two months longer than the Cleveland Indians. Congratulations, kids. Now go home and get ready for school (Nelson Munce: "Ha, ha!"). So it was fun for awhile, but haven't we just about had it with the LLWS? Here are 10 reasons it should go away. More »Sunday Night Baseball: Dodgers-Phillies
Philadelphia and Los Angeles have good chances at winning their divisions. Jon Miller and Joe Morgan have good chances at mentioning baseball players from the 80s we never heard of, but should be in the Hall of Fame. Your pitchers: Hiroki Kuroda for the Avoiders, and Joe Blanton for the Philbins. If you're jumpy and you know it, click your mouse. More »Barry Bonds Cannot Stop Destroying Sports All Over the World
Out here in the West, the third and final part of the Bob Costas-Jacques Rogge tête-à -tête has just wrapped up on NBC. In this section (loosely labeled "Etcetera"), Costas asked Rogge what killed softball and baseball for the 2012 Games. Rogge eventually mentioned the domination of both sports by a few countries (*cough cough* America *cough*), which Maggie Hendricks of Fourth Place Medal tore down yesterday. Before he did, though, he was sure to pick a proper villain. According to the head of the IOC, Barry Bonds killed softball. More »MLB Closer: Do Not Taunt Surly Third-Place Kitty
Zach Miner of Los Tigres Detroit committed regicide on the monarchs from Missouri, allowing only three singles in seven innings on the way to a 4-0 victory in Kansas City last night. How could he get away with such domination on a major league franchise while only striking out three? How could he know he would get away with allowing so much bat-on-ball violence without much damage? Let's look at the Royals lineup... Mike Aviles is the best hitter in the lineup? By, like, a lot? Sweet baby Rany. Let's move on. More »Country Music's Newest Star Looks Awfully Familiar, And Inexpensive
Jessica Simpson was a big deal just a short time ago, right? We thought so. We vaguely remember some kind of movie she was in and she was singing songs and then she dated a guy we all heard of... all of that happened, right? Because now she's reinventing herself in the easier-to-penetrate country music market and showing up at county fairs and playing a "free" concert at Chase Field after a Diamondbacks game. When did this happen? Did the high price of helium damage her ability to keep her talents well-developed? We're truly stumped. More »MLB Closer: The Girl with the Strong Arm
Neal Cotts loves The Dead Milkmen. Or so we assume. After all, he's a rural boy from a small town born between 27 years and 36 years ago. Also, he gave up a grand slam to Willie F. Harris in the fifth inning at Wrigley Field yesterday afternoon, tossing Jason Marquis under the El and leaving the Washington Nationals the proud owners of a 13-5 victory. Therefore, we assume he's a big fan of this song. More »Lawsuit Alleges Priest Molested Boy at 2005 White Sox Game
The lawsuit was filed against the Chicago Archdiocese yesterday. The alleged molester, priest Daniel McCormick, has already been the subject of a lawsuit settled on behalf of the archdiocese last week. In that case 11 priests were sued by 16 children. The alleged molestation occured in August of 2005 which was, of course, the year the Chicago White Sox finally won a World Series. More »
Reds Management Would Like To Apologize For All The Sucking
In an odd move even for them, the Cincinnati Reds front office has written an open letter to fans to apologize for being in last place. Of course, CEO Bob Castellini and GM Walt Jocketty don't admit to any wrongdoing — there were injuries! And the weather has been generally bad! — but they don't want too many fans jumping ship following the unloading of Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey Jr. amidst a 55-71 NL Central malaise. More »New White Sox Danger: Shaving Cream Pies to the Face
And you thought Ozzie Guillen was all the White Sox had to fear in the locker room. Backup catcher Toby Hall is recovering after Jermaine Dye blocked his attempted pie to the face. Does anyone ever wonder where all these pies come from in baseball locker rooms? How many times have you had extra pies sitting around at your work? Yet, in baseball stadiums they're everywhere. And it never gets old to hit someone in the face with one. We go to the Chicago Tribune blog for the details. More »
Oh, That Michael Phelps; He's Everywhere
Your Olympic highlights from only moments ago or yesterday, depending on your time zone ...
Chinese police guard the land events like dobermans on Red Bull, but evidently they consider 10 feet from shore international waters. No sooner had Marit Van Eupen and Kirsten Van Der Kolk of the Netherlands won gold in lightweight women's double sculls, than two fans stripped to their underwear and swam out to congratulate them. No one tried to stop them, and what's more, they swam back, got dressed, and rejoined the crowd. A shocking breach of security, considering that these guys could have been packing anything, from a Free Tibet sign to a torpedo. For his trouble, one of the fans got this lovely parting gift. Ha. Classic.
More »The Most Unimpressive Perfect Game Ever?
Does this pitcher look 13 to you? Mexico, once again I call shenanigans concerning your birth certificates. Anyway, Jesus Sauceda recorded the first perfect game in the Little League World Series in 29 years, although doing it in the least impressive way possible; in only four innings, and against Italy. The boot-shaped nation had to scour the entire country to find 12 kids who have even heard of baseball, and even then several of them still tried to kick ground balls to first. More »Sunday Night Baseball: Padres-Phillies
Will Cole Hamels keep the Phillies in the NL East race? Will Cha Seung Baek prevent San Diego from being the worst team in baseball? Will you even be able to see this live blog? These queries and few others will be answered once you jump to the rhythm. (Jump jump to the rhythm.) More »So Far, We're The NL West Of The Olympics
Notable Olympic happenings from Friday ...
The Cuban Dream Team rolled the U.S. in baseball, 5-4 in 11 innings on Friday, sending our friendly island neighbors well toward their way to a fourth gold medal in five years. We're now 0-2 1-2, but still alive, wishing that Bud Selig would have scheduled a two-week August break in the majors so that all of our Cubans could play theirs. Then we'd show 'em.







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