Do you ever have those days when you feel as though anything is possible?  Those days that not even money or bad fortune could ruin your plans?  I have those days that I can look forward and see my potential and I have all the confidence in the world, but they are balanced out by those days that I don't feel I'm going to even get out of college.  As I am wrapping up my freshman year, I think to myself...I am meant to do something great.  I am not the mediocre/average person.  No, I do not think I'm superwoman, nor do I have grandiose delusions.  I simply see my potential and I'm sure about it.  Why not?  Why not believe in myself?  Confidence has worked for me in the past and it isn't unwarranted. 

I decided I'd be a computer tech, and with a few years of learning...I was.  I decided that I wanted to top that and be a network administrator for a small company...and I did that with a few years of learning.  I decided that I would have my paintings in a public place for sale...and I did that and it was appreciated in its own way.  I decided that I was going to get a second chance at college after failing & dropping out ten years ago...and I'm doing that.  I decided that I would follow my heart/dream and pursue medicine...and I'm Pre-Med now. Decided that I wanted to be able to play the guitar...learned and play for a church for two years. I decided that I wanted to be able to bench press 200 pounds...and I did that last year (I'm female by the way).  I decided that I was going to make up my mind on what I believed for myself in regards to religion and spirituality...and I came to the realization that I was an atheist and have found TRUE happiness.  I decided last year that I was going to do what made ME happy...and accepted myself as the gay woman that I am. 

What I am yet to do...and will...

Be involved in something entirely selfless.  Graduate undergraduate school.  Get accepted into a medical school.  Begin painting again and get in a gallery.  Finish my book and get published.  Sing in public.  Buy another guitar and master it.  Get in the best shape of my life....atleast once.  Move to New York city.  Live in London. See Paris.  Travel to Japan.  Leave a huge mark on the world before my time is gone.  Find the love of my life and make her the happiest woman and she make me the happiest woman...on the planet.  Help my daughter to become accomplished and successful in her own rite. 

There is no specific person alive today that I would want to meet (as in...would "make my life").  There are countless that are dead now.  I do not want fame...as in entertainer fame.  I love my privacy too much.  Fame turns those people into psychotic monsters.  I'm happy with "knowing" them from afar....they are much too scary close-up and personal.  The kind of fame I would not mind...is the kind after I'm gone.  You know, the countless authors, scientists, artists who were nobodies when they were alive, but after they left this earth...well, everyone know there name and they will be forever apart of human history.  And they aren't known because they were people with personable personalities, they were known because of there intelligence...there ideas. 

When I look at the entertainers who are always in the media...well, I try not to.  I enjoy there music, there acting, etc...but I know that if I learn too much about there personal lives, I will be greatly dissapointed.  So, I stay ignorant intentionally and pretend they are the people that I think they should be so that I can still enjoy their work.  I almost ruined it for myself with John Mayer.  I absolutely love his music.  He is extremely talented and his songs are brilliant.  But, he was in the media a lot after he began dating Simpson.  Ugh.  His face was everywhere.  Then, I saw this awful picture of him in this hideous bathing suit on a boat and it took me weeks to even listen to his music again without thinking of that nasty thing.  I just do not want to know too much about these people.  Once upon a time, they were probably great people...intelligent people...but fame has cheapened them and stripped away there altruistic tendencies and made them mechanical news props.  This is why I am not a subscriber to magazines such as US weekly or People.  I just can't...

Well, I have went on and on long enough. Until next time....

Peace.

-Day & Nite