Are You on a Short Leash?
SharePosted on 05. Jun, 2008 by Gallivanter in Relationship
There will come a time in a man’s life when we need to be serious about a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you have to submit to the ways of a dominant and controlling woman, and have your tail caught between your legs.
If going for a beer, or some trivial excursion requires her permission, you’re on a short leash. Your bossy girlfriend thinks that this is a NO NO. Suddenly, you just can’t pop into a pub for a quick booze at the end of a day without facing loads of rubbish questions and harassment. That makes you stop doing it. Don’t give in to her and let her control you.
Sharing e-mail account and passwords is insane. I used to inadvertently share my passwords with my ex-girlfriend, that was a major mistake because you suffer a loss of independence. I changed my passwords, she asked, and I told her to f**k off and give me my privacy. I subsequently dumped her.
It’s a definite sign that you’re on a leash when you get some piece of news (good or bad) and your thoughts immediately turn to how she will respond when she hears it. Thoughts start running to your head and you brace yourself for her dramatic accusations and moaning. Get her a dog for Christmas and let her channel her drama towards it.
You used to get calls and text messages from friends wondering about your plans. Now, it’s no longer the case, everyone stops contacting you, assuming that you’re kept under lock and key all weekend, and they’ve given up on you. Bullshit to that. Just keep this going. They’re your friends, if your woman thinks your intention is to bonk all female friends that you come in contact with, dump your girlfriend. She’s got issues.
You don’t have to ask her permission to live your life. Tell her, but don’t ask her permission. Always defend your rights and dignity from the start. If she continues, break up with her or your life will be ruined.
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Xander
Jun 5th, 2008
true to every word dude. Being too apologetic for even the smallest of things is also a sign of being on a short leash. Its like an axis/balance of power. Just make sure the balance tilts more on your side. Not too much and definitely no lesser unless you like being ‘whipped’ around your whole life.
Olie
Jun 7th, 2008
My case is terbalik. He always ask me permission to go out and his sentence would be “I am going out with my friends to play pool at…. Boleh kah?”
This really irritates me alot and I was like telling him time and again “If you wanna go out, just go out, there’s no need to ask for my permission kapish?” eiii just go lah.
Why need to bother me with your irritating permission question?? grrrr..
THANKFULLY he changed his approach.. he would always tell me at the very last minute regardless of what time is it.. he would simply bath, get dressed and tell me where he is going and with whom, just as he is picking up his mobile and car keys.. *phew* now I am glad! ha,ha,ha.. my usual response will be “Ok, drive safe”. I won’t ask the hour he’ll be back coz I know how guys can be when they are hanging out for a drink… Let your man have fun.. so when its your turn to have fun.. he won’t bising either *winks* ;-b
Flo
Jun 7th, 2008
hey friend, i sense your fury. Men are no less controlling than women. They’ve got issues, too.
Olie
Jun 7th, 2008
yeah.. true Flo..
my closest gal pal is on a short leash by the bf too… pity her..
she can’t go anywhere without him knowing… and he even prevented her to even go out makan-makan or even have a quick drink at any restaurant with us.. duh! She can’t even look at or even talk with a guy friend. shish! how sick is that??
Gallivanter
Jun 8th, 2008
Xander Indeed.
Olie The reason that he could’ve been asking for your permission, either it’s something he’s done in the past or he wants you to do the same.
Flo Of course, then by all means go blog about it.
Olie He’s insecure.
sherry
Jun 9th, 2008
As a woman, I could not agree more. My husband is a musician. To this day other women in our circle of friends still ask me how it doesn’t bother me that he goes out and plays in bars.
Uh, because I knew he was a musician from the start and that actually PLAYING said music is part of it?
They all micromanage their husbands and wonder why all they do is bitch about their wives. All the others have told me my husband doesn’t moan and complain about me – and it’s because we have OUR life but he still has his and I still have mine. It isn’t that hard to figure out but they just don’t get it and all their husbands have to “Check with the wife” before they can decide if they can go out to do something.
I don’t expect to need permission to do what I do, why should he need mine?
Gallivanter
Jun 22nd, 2008
sherry Thank you for sharing.
Flo
Jun 27th, 2008
Olie: I got a close girl friend got the exactly same case as your friend as well. I think sometimes guys are just too insecure, and they come out with crazy things which normal people don’t understand.