Integrity
Spring 1988

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Recently I spoke at a ministers' conference, and following one of the sessions, one pastor confessed, "You know, I've never had a best friend. I've been so busy working for the Lord that I've never found the time."

You could hear the lonely longing in his voice. I felt it inside, because ten years ago I'd felt the same way. I was considered a successful youth leader and teacher, I was trying to live the Christian life as best I understood it, and yet I felt lonely. Things weren't rotten; I wasn't in a state of desperation. But something inside me said, There's got to be more to the Christian life than this. I feel alone.

I didn't know what I was looking for. I certainly didn't think I was looking for a relationship of accountability. But such a friendship found me.

I was working with Young Life at the time and met a guy named Rob, a young, rising business executive from the right side of the tracks. I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. He was single; I was married. We didn't have a lot in common, but he began to drop by once in a while. At first I thought he was trying to recruit me for something, but gradually I realized he was coming by simply because he wanted to be with me. I'd done the same for many young people I'd ministered to, but it had never occurred to me that people would do that for me.

I discovered Rob's concept of life was similar to mine, focused on friendship with God and being himself with others. We started jogging together and playing racquetball together. I began to look at him as a friend, and after a while I started relying on him as a sounding board.

Eventually we began to talk about our spiritual journeys, some of our struggles, the dreams we had. We discovered that both ...

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