Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. Proverbs 25:28 (NIV)

This is definitely a big area of struggle for me. I am selfish, and want what I want, when I want. Awfully childish attitude (especially when I spell it out like that), but that's the truth. No, this attitude didn't magically go away when I became a wife and mom. It's getting better, but still much room for improvement. I lack discipline in many areas, and I'm seeing my poor habits manifest themselves in the kids, too.

A few thoughts from Naked Fruit by Elisa Morgan:

"Self-control hems us about, protecting us from losing ground to impatience, bitterness, greed and the like... Self-control is a healthy-mindedness that watches for the holes in the walls of our lives and keeps them patched...

It's never too late to repair the wall. It may seem so. In fact, that's one of the greatest lies in our days: It's too late, it's too big, it's too bad, forget it. But because the fruit of self-control, like all spiritual fruit, is a fruit grown by God in our lives, it's not too late today and it won't be too late tomorrow... He doesn't give up on us...

The holes in our wall are patched when we learn to think truthfully about our lives in a healthy-minded fashion. What's the truth about who I am and what I do and what I want to be? A life that matters is a life connected to God. If I'm connected, I'm growing in the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control - and that reality will grow in me and through me a life that matters."

Honestly, I think self-control is the most neglected fruit (particularly here in America). It's certainly the least fun - we all happily latch on to the ideas of love, joy, peace, etc... but denying our selfish impulses? Whoa!! But I also think it's really interesting to look at the order of the fruits. It all starts with love. Anyone read I Cor 13 lately? If we don't have love, everything else is pointless. And where does it end? With self-control. It's about balance, and it sort of "tempers" the other fruits, helping find the balance of being too stingy or going over the top. I've started thinking of it more along the lines of giving God control of myself. Because as already mentioned, my self is awfully weak. But when I turn it over, things get easier.

Thoughts? Anyone else struggle on this?

Ran across this article at New Attitude and thought I'd pass it along. Taken from the book What is a Healthy Church Member? by Thabiti Anyabwile

If churches are to be healthy, then pastors and teachers must be committed to discovering the meaning of Scripture and allowing that meaning to drive the agenda with their congregations... Just as the pastor’s preaching agenda should be determined by the meaning of Scripture, so too should the Christian’s listening agenda be driven by the meaning of Scripture. When we listen to the preaching of the Word, we should not listen primarily for “practical how-to advice,” though Scripture teaches us much about everyday matters. Nor should we listen for messages that bolster our self-esteem or that rouse us to political and social causes. Rather, as members of Christian churches we should listen primarily for the voice and message of God as revealed in his Word. We should listen to hear what he has written, in his omniscient love, for his glory and for our blessing.

So what exactly do I mean by “expositional listening”? Expositional listening is listening for the meaning of a passage of Scripture and accepting that meaning as the main idea to be grasped for our personal and corporate lives as Christians.

Expositional listening benefits us, first, by cultivating a hunger for God’s Word. As we tune our ears... we grow accustomed to listening to God... His Word, his voice, becomes sweet to us (Ps. 119:103–4); and as it does, we are better able to push to the background the many voices that rival God’s voice for control over our lives... God’s agenda for his people takes center stage, reorders our priorities, and directs us in the course that most honors him. The Lord himself proclaimed, “My sheep listen to my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27). Listening to the voice of Jesus as it is heard in his Word is critical to following him...

Expositional listening protects the gospel and our lives from corruption. The Scripture tells us “the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths” (2 Tim. 4:3–4). The failure to listen expositionally has disastrous effects. False teachers enter the church and hinder the gospel. Ultimately, the truth is displaced by myths and falsehoods. Where members cultivate the habit of expositional listening they guard themselves against “itching ears” and protect the gospel from corruption...

Repeatedly, the New Testament writers exhort local churches to be unified—to be of one mind. Paul writes to one local church, “I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree and that there may be no divisions among you, but that you may be united in the same mind and the same judgment” (1 Cor. 1:10; see also Rom. 12:16; 2 Cor. 13:11; 1 Pet. 3:8). As we gather together in our local churches and give ourselves to hearing the voice of God through his preached Word, we’re shaped into one body. We are united in understanding and purpose. And that unity testifies to the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ (John 17:21). But if we listen with our own interests and agendas in mind, if we develop “private interpretations” and idiosyncratic views, we risk shattering that unity, provoking disputes over doubtful matters, and weakening our corporate gospel witness.

Well, if expositional listening is so vital to the health of individual church members and the church as a whole, how does a person form such a habit?

...Instead of rushing off after the service is over, or talking about the latest news, develop the habit of talking about the sermon with people after church. Start spiritual conversations by asking, “How did the Scripture challenge or speak to you today?” Or, “What about God’s character most surprised or encouraged you?” Encourage others by sharing things you learned about God and his Word during the sermon. Make particular note of how your thinking has changed because of the meaning of Scripture itself. And pray with others that God would keep the congregation from becoming “dull of hearing” and that he would bless the congregation with an increasingly strong desire for the “solid food” of his Word (Isa. 6:9–10; Heb. 5:11–14)...

Choose one or two particular applications from the Scripture and prayerfully put them into practice over the coming week. If your church has an audio ministry or a website that posts recent summaries, take advantage of these opportunities to feed your soul with the click of a mouse. With your pastor’s support, establish small groups that review and apply the sermons. Or, use the sermons and your notes as a resource in one-on-one discipleship relationships. I know of several families that have a regular sermon-review time as their Sunday evening family devotional. There are a hundred ways to keep the sermon alive in your spiritual life by reviewing God’s Word throughout the week. Be creative. It’s well worth the planning... Moreover, don’t be passive in your private study; seek answers by searching the Scripture yourself and by talking with accountability partners or small groups. But don’t forget that the pastor has likely spent more time than most in thinking about that passage and is there to feed you God’s Word. Follow up the sermon with questions and comments that would be an encouragement to your pastor and a blessing to your soul...

As you dig into God’s Word, listening for his voice, you will no doubt begin to grow and discover many wonderful treasures. But as you grow, do not become a “professional sermon listener” who is always hearing but never learning. Beware of false knowledge that “puffs up” (1 Cor. 1:8; Col. 2:18) and tends to cause strife and dissension. Mortify any tendencies toward pride, the condemnation of others, and critical nitpicking. Instead, seek to meet Jesus each time you come to the Scripture; gather from the Word fuel for all-of-life worship. Instead of exalting ourselves, let us remember the apostle Peter’s words: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time” (1 Pet. 5:6).

It is hearing the message and the Word of God that leads to saving faith (Rom.10:17). Church members are healthy when they give themselves to hearing this message as a regular discipline. Expositional listening promotes such health for individual members and entire churches.

Yes, I'm back with a 2nd post!!

Our 5 YO was helping me clean the bathroom - we were singing "Friend of God" while he wiped down the wall and I scrubbed the toilet. Well, he asked why he was God's friend and I said that we become God's friend when we ask Jesus into our heart. He said that he shouldn't sing that song, because he hadn't asked Jesus to live in his heart... and I, of course, asked if He'd like to. And then I had the awesome privilege of putting down the toilet scrubber, walking to the couch, and praying with our son. (And yes, I'm tearing up as I type this). Now we're family in the most important sense of the word!!

Just thought I'd check in. Our family continues to be busy - but then what's new?! :)

It also seems as though every woman I know has recently commented that they're going through a "dry" time. Tasks are being accomplished, but without passion. The family is being cared for, but it's simply a matter of fulfilling duties. Not quite sure why this is the case, but it does seem that Satan is doing his best to drag us down... I know I've been writing quite often about the fruits of the spirit and being Christlike, but I'm struggling right now. As I was driving to MOPS this morning, I had on a Rich Mullins CD, and was singing right along with "Hold Me, Jesus."

Hold me, Jesus, cuz I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace

I need to cling to Him, and rest in His peace. Whether I'm up or down, He's my constant. Not my hubby or a family member or a good friend, but my Savior. I know He's provided some amazing people to minister to me, but that's not where I'll find my strength.

Lastly, I stumbled on a bit of encouragement in an unlikely place (an article about being "ready" for marriage) and wanted to share these words from Candice Watters:


Excellent reminder.

Good Mom vs. Me

Fun little read - I love her honesty and I can SO relate. I'm really feeling like the lousy wife/mother these days for a variety of reasons, and need to keep my eyes on Jesus so that I can move back up, rather than wallowing in my little self-made hole.

...Maybe instead of trying to be more like Good Mom, I could begin to let Jesus be Jesus in me...

Amen.

On a side note, I know that I'm trying too hard "on my own." That's not where I'll find the answers. I made a little door hanger this past week that you can see here. So far it's been a good reminder.

I'm teaching the 2-3 YO class this month at church, and am missing hearing the sermons. I came across this yesterday over at Blissfully Domestic, and I read it 3 or 4 times, just letting in sink in. I know these past few weeks I've felt pulled in many directions, and honestly I've been praying for strength to persevere and get it all done. While that is important (no, I can't just sit on the couch all day watching HGTV :), this served as a reminder that I need to rest in my Savior.

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matt 11:28 NLT

Rest from the burden of a small god. Why? Because I have found the Lord.
Rest from doing things my way. Why? Because the Lord is my Shepherd.
Rest from endless wants. Why? Because I shall not want.
Rest from weariness. Why? Because He makes me to lie down.
Rest from worry. Why? Because He leads me.
Rest from hopelessness. Why? Because He restores my soul.
Rest from guilt. Why? Because He leads me in the paths of righteousness.
Rest from arrogance. Why? Because of His name’s sake.
Rest from the valley of death. Why? Because He walks me through it.
Rest from the shadow of grief. Why? Because He guides me.
Rest from fear. Why? Because His presence comforts me.
Rest from loneliness. Why? Because He is with me.
Rest from shame. Why? Because He has prepared a place for me in the presence of my enemies.
Rest from my disappointments. Why? Because He anoints me.
Rest from envy. Why? Because my cup overflows.
Rest from doubt. Why? Because He follows me.
Rest from homesickness. Why? Because I will dwell in the house of my Lord forever.

From Traveling Light Copyright 2001, Max Lucado

Well, we kicked off our weekend by getting up at 4:30 Saturday morning to take hubby to the airport. I don't recommend that particular activity - it leaves you alone with cranky children.

Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say:
Blessed Be the Name of the Lord...

You give and take away,
You give and take away,
My heart will choose to say
Lord Blessed Be Your Name

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. Psalm 62:5

We're having an interesting couple days - the kids are being really mean to one another, and I'm pretty sure that our daughter is getting sick (she's currently napping, which is definitely out of the ordinary). Learned of another death in the family. Started the process of getting that crown (so my mouth is now really sore) and also discovered we'd have to pay out of pocket rather and get reimbursed rather than paying directly out of our FSA account.

Well, yesterday was our MOPS Spa Day. We all came in our jammies, and then we had a lovely time planned: a little ice breaker activity, and then four stations that allowed for some simple pampering and chatting. The moms all seemed to really enjoy it, and I'm thinking this may become an annual event. I was talking with a friend as we were milling around, and she shared that the day was really a blessing, and that part of her hadn't wanted to come to MOPS and "learn how to be better" - she didn't need to be challenged but simply refreshed. Seems that many of us are in the same place! Anyway, thought I'd share the little handout I prepared (it includes the recipes that I used to create several of the stations - and of course I'll be adding my 2 cents now :)

Personal Pampering

OK, we all know how crazy life gets… but taking just a few minutes for yourself can be a good thing. Here are a few ideas:

Exfoliating Hand Scrub (also great for feet!) – Combine 1 cup white sugar, 1/3 cup honey, 2 Tb brewed tea and 2 drops vanilla. Massage into hands, then rinse off. Follow up with a good lotion. This works best if your hands are just a bit wet first. The moms were really skeptical about this, but it really does work!! You don't need much, so you could store this in a covered container in the fridge and just nuke for a few seconds when you want to use it. And if you don't already have a great lotion, I'd highly recommend Neutrogena Hand Cream. That little tube lasts forever!

Facial – Mash up a banana and spread over clean face. Allow to sit for ten minutes, then wash off.

Foot Massage – Cover the bottom of a basin with marbles, smooth stones, or even golf balls. Cover with approx 2-3 inches of warm water, then soak your feet. Roll your feet across the bottom for a gentle massage. For an extra special touch, add a drop or two of essential oil, tea, or fresh herbs (mint is great!).

Chocolate Milk Bath – Combine 1/2 cup powdered milk, 1 Tb unsweetened cocoa powder, 1/2 tsp cornstarch, and 1/4 tsp cinnamon. Sprinkle into your bath – bonus points for bathing by candlelight! (This also makes a very nice gift – make a large batch and package it up into small bags or jars) This supposedly is used at the Hershey Spa - I'm not sure whether that's true, but I will say that it smells heavenly. This seriously would be a great gift for a friend: baby food jars or frappucino bottles make great containers!

Hot Oil Hair Treatment – Combine 2 Tb olive oil and 1 Tb honey in small plastic sandwich bag. Warm bag by placing in a mug of nearly boiling water for 30 seconds. Apply warm oil to DRY hair, working it all through your hair. Cover your head with a shower cap or damp warm towel & leave for 15 minutes, then wash hair as usual.

And the best way to rejuvenate? Take some time to read your Bible and pray. Your Heavenly Father does not want you to be stressed out!

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls. Matthew 11:28 (Amplified)
- - - - -
We also made lip balm using the base from Majestic Mountain Sage. We used the vegan one, and it feels so rich and creamy. Love it! In fact, I may make up some more of it to use as Christmas gifts. We finished off the day with our Mentor Mom sharing from Psalm 61:1-2:
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer
From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

What a blessing to have that rock to cling to. It's so easy to become overwhelmed by life's circumstances, but thankfully the Lord is so much bigger than all of that. He is unchanging, unaffected by pounding rain or battering waves.

EDITED TO ADD:
I just received word that one of our MOPS moms had a fire (electrical issue in their basement) last night - thankfully their home was not completely destroyed, but they did lose all their kids' toys as well as other precious things, and they'll have to stay in a hotel for at least a month while the damage is repaired. A very vivid reminder that nothing in this life is certain. Please pray for the K family.

I came across this quote last week:

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed,
The wrong side of the room,
The wrong side of the world.
Can’t put my finger on the mood.
It’s not melancholy, anger or the blues.
I love my husband, my house, my job.
Couldn’t be any better, and really what else is there?
Then I realize I’m forgetting God, and that’s the root of all my misery.
Lord first of all, how is it between you and me?

Chorus:
How is it between us?
How is it between us?
When did I talk to you last, and what has happened since?
How is it between us?
How is it between us?
When did I talk to you last, and what has happened?

When I wake up I am on my way, reinventing the wheel and saving the day.
I have learned this lesson a thousand times, I am the branch and you are the vine.
Apart from you we are mice and men,
With our fancy dreams of grandeur and no way to get there.
Oh I can think about you now and then, or I can make a mark on eternity.
Lord first of all, how is it between you and me?

Chorus

So let the wicked prosper,
Let the oceans roar,
Let the mountains crumble,
And fall into the sea.
There’s something more important weighing on my mind.
Lord first of all, how is it between you and me?

Chorus

The song “How is it between us” by Sara Groves (off the album Conversations) is always a good reminder for me. I so often go about my day, crossing off things on my mental to do list, but don't stop to pray until things start unraveling. When will I ever learn?!?

Hear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.
Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long.
Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.
Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my cry for mercy.
For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.
Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth;
Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart.
I will glorify your name forever.
Psalm 86:1,3-6, 10-12

(originally posted on my Y!360 blog May 19, 2006. Why rewrite something that I'd already expressed?)

There's just a lot going on right now. And so many of my close friends are hurting. My heart aches, but there's nothing I can DO except pray. I know that's a lot, but there's still a part of me that wants to somehow make it better, to ease the pain. But that's just not going to happen.

Plus our little family has quite a bit going on, and I'm really trying to watch my attitude. But sometimes there's a fine line between being realistic and being negative, and I'm definitely walking it right now.

I've mentioned a couple times that I have a "deep" post coming. It's still brewing, getting ready to serve :) But what it all boils down to is my identity. Who exactly am I? We've all seen the long lists of titles - wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend... not to mention chef, janitor, secretary, taxi driver... But what is most important? I am a child of God. But frankly I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job of demonstrating that on a daily basis. I tend to say I'm human, and use that as a blanket excuse for my many shortcomings. But I also can't get caught up in guilt.

I'm tired.

One of my all-time favorite worship songs. More thoughts on this later...

It's been a whirlwind, I tell ya!! We officially kicked off our third year of MOPS on Tuesday. I must say that I'm particularly excited to see what's in store now, as it was a rather horrible morning. So why does that excite me? Each and every steering team member had a lousy morning, and the meeting itself ended up being a bit chaotic - which means that Satan is throwing up some serious opposition because God is moving! I'll spare you the bad sitcom-like details, but suffice to say we were all just thankful to have made it through. I don't know the exact numbers, but we had over 25 women, and somewhere around 40 kiddos. And I'm thrilled to say a number of the ladies are not from our church. Now I know that MOPS groups are run differently everywhere, but we definitely see ours as a ministry, not just mommy activity time. I'm so excited to see that we're reaching our community!! Please pray that we can continue to minister to these women, and specifically pray for more (and dependable) child care workers.

Other activities over the past few days include meal delivery for a family with a new baby, haircuts (not just mine, but I finally got my two guys trimmed up last night, too!), and just general household maintenance. Both kids have dental check-ups this afternoon, and I have a huge list of errands to take care of tomorrow. My folks arrive in a week and our guest room is still piled up with my craft stuff. I really need to kick it into high gear for these next few days. To top things off, our son is going through a bit of a rough patch - he's being super whiny and not listening well at all - which of course irritates me and makes it even more difficult to respond in a Godly fashion.

Our pastor has just started preaching on I Corinthians, and two weeks ago talked about our status as saints. The phrase that is constantly playing in the back of my mind: "It is one thing to be made a saint, it is another thing to act like one." When we come to Christ, we are redeemed. Sanctified, and set apart for His service. But I fall short daily, and I'm feeling particularly convicted of that on the home front. I want to be a Godly woman - not just a mask I slip on when I'm around "church friends," but modeling the fruits of the spirit to those who see me the most: my husband and children. And honestly they see my impatient, lazy, snarly side far too often. But that's me. And I need to be more about HIM. I need to lean on my Savior each and every moment, not relying on myself. Because when I do it on my own strength, I get overwhelmed and blow up at those I love the most. We have a lot going on this month, and it's only going to get worse if I try to make it on my own steam.

He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful. I Corinthians 1:8-9

I just came across this marvelous idea of tracking prayer requests on The Sparrow's Nest.. We'll definitely be implementing this idea in our house soon!!

"You can do more than pray after you have prayed, but you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed." ~A.J. Gordon

"Falling asleep in prayer is no problem. You can rest in God's presence. Besides, next to the heart of God is a good place, a safe place, for sleeping." ~Richard J. Foster

"God's greatest concern is not the length of our prayers, nor the correctness of our language, but the attitude of our hearts." ~Leighton Ford

"As children hear their parents praying for wisdom and direction, they learn that parents can't fix everything. I believe God designed it this way. After all, if parents were perfect, children would never sense their need for God." ~Paul Meier

Check out this news story: Bishop proposes calling God "Allah" to ease tension

I don't even know where to start...

Or perhaps we could try this approach:

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (II Chronicles 7:14)

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.
Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?
Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.
Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"?
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:8, 12, 26-31