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Not News Sports Business Geek Showbiz Politics Music Video All

Sat March 20, 2010

Source Fark Headline Comments

Officials change their mind, the Stripper Mobile - aka Skank Tank - is back on the streets after bannination. Tampa now officially dirtier than Vegas (wtsp.com) (21)

Just one more reason why subby prefers to stay on the couch (abcnews.go.com) (14)

What a bird's eye view of Google Street Map might look like (with pic) (thesun.co.uk) (27)

"Bees bees bees in the car! Bees everywhere! God, they're huge! They're ripping my flesh off! Run away, your firearms are useless against them!" (latimes.com) (55)

(Some Guy)

Photoshop this low-tech TV (bigpicture.ru) (18)

A short but handy guide to the historic pubs of the UK (orilliapacket.com) (22)

26 percent of the people in this country still have something called a "life" (news.yahoo.com) (44)

(Some Guy)

Steal a beer, go to prison for 5 years. Sounds about right (postbulletin.com) (43)

Court says grandmother can be jailed up to six months for "stunt driving" after she went too fast passing a big truck (thestar.com) (71)

Great news. Popular snack bar is renovated and reopened for business after being destroyed......1,921 years ago (dailymail.co.uk) (82)

Paramedic gives a lift to five drunken teenage girls. For some reason his superiors have a problem with this (mirror.co.uk) (39)

(Brantford Expositor)

When in Yellowstone Park you are most likely to be injured by (a) bear, (b) deer, (c) squirrels (brantfordexpositor.ca) (32)

U.S. Navy hospital ship Comfort returns to Baltimore after two months in Haiti. Obviously, all problems are solved there now, and we can stop sending money, right? (upi.com) (68)

Catcalling women turns them against all men. Even the white knights (news.yahoo.com) (294)

Where do God-fearing Real Americans most like to live? They would be in Mississippi, which leads the nation in religious belief. Where are the godless heathens hiding from the Lord? Head on up New Hampshire and Vermont (damn hippie commies) (news.yahoo.com) (155)

(The Pulse)

The tale of the life and times of a noble chicken. It's not news, it's... really not news (chattanoogapulse.com) (22)

Minnesota DOT and bridge inspector agree to settlement, avoiding lawsuit over I-35W bridge collapse that would have made both look like incompetent morons (startribune.com) (27)

(Some Guy)

"Several passersby called Boulder police Wednesday afternoon when Catharine Pierce, 52, tended to her front yard wearing only a yellow thong and pink gloves." With pic of strategically and wisely placed duct tape (dailycamera.com) (103)

It's like snoooooooooooooow on the first day of spring (qctimes.com) (86)

Six women hoping to be crowned Miss Scotland. Proving that they are not all fried mars bar eating ginger slappers. With pics (thescottishsun.co.uk) (84)

Not news: A car priced at $76,500. News: It's a 1970 Nissan. FARK: A 7.4 oz. platinum toy Nissan car (jalopnik.com) (37)

Man puts on a suit, takes a taxi to an office, and goes completely unnoticed while spending the next 18 hours looting the office entirely of computers (wtsp.com) (80)

Christ returns to Earth, is immediately tasered by city police (startribune.com) (49)

Ric Romero with this breaking news: Organic label misused on some foods (boston.com) (90)

(Some Chicken Named Junior)

Photoshop this prized poultry (bigpicture.ru) (26)

Dumb: Forgetting to clear your browser cache. Dumber: Calling in IT guy to upgrade your computer. Fark: IT guy's mom gets you arrested on child porn rap. Happy ending: Supreme Court tells cops to suck it (torontosun.com) (171)

Necessity is truly the mother of invention. Especially if you're a trainer at SeaWorld and your job is to brush the teeth of a whale who just ate a trainer (wtsp.com) (39)

A Siamese cat named Amanda nurses her two newborn kittens and an orphaned litter of puppies, highlighting that all are welcome to enjoy Caturday (weblogs.baltimoresun.com) (410)

Hundreds of people lined up before a giant toilet prop to bring awareness to World Water Day. Participants were asked to mind their pees in queue

(news.com.au) (46)

Curious what your 80's dream car would cost you today? Wonder no more, dude (editorial.autos.msn.com) (96)

(KPTV)

Worker develops unusual blister; authorities fear he may have been exposed to mustard gas or Lindsay Lohan (kptv.com) (28)

(Some Guy)

A Fark/Reddit Party in Armenia? Sure, why the hell not? (armeniadiaspora.com) (32)

69-year-old skydiver's parachute fails to open, and he survives....until he hit the ground (myfoxtampabay.com) (71)

Fark-ready headline of the day: Shark-bitten crocodile poop fossils found (wired.com) (26)

(Some Guy)

Photoshop this low-flying airplane (prikol.ru) (58)

"The marijuana was for his pregnant goats." Wait, what? (ca.news.yahoo.com) (33)

Fri March 19, 2010

If your name is Calvin and you live in the Sacramento area, go ahead and commit all the crimes you want, cause they'll just keep arresting this one black guy instead of you (sacbee.com) (91)

Oh the perks of being a cop... Free coffee.. free donuts.. speed whenever you want... and getting naked men with mohawks off billboards (myfoxdfw.com) (36)

(Some Children with No Talent)

Proof that your special little snowflake is going to be an amazing artist some day (buzzfeed.com) (77)

Mosquitos to be genetically altered to CURE malaria, not cause it. Ironic tag opens door for spiffy tag in this case (cnn.com) (132)

If you're a lawyer, apparently you can be arrested for paying a homeless man to help find you clients (chron.com) (54)

(News Observer)

Congratulations, GlaxoSmithKline just bought your family business for $2.9 billion, what are you going to do now? "I'm going to donate it to atheism" (newsobserver.com) (273)

Out-of-control hugging leads to ban at middle school. 'Girls were using hugging as a game to see how fast boys could become aroused'. Principal: 'I was seeing evidence of it' (oregonlive.com) (137)

Former mayor and his family have been terrorized by the shirtless, swearing jogger. "My kids, then 2 and 4, were petrified," he said. "They're still scared of this guy" (seacoastonline.com) (46)

Man dies after catching on fire while trying to burn down his home so his estranged wife wouldn't get it (dailymail.co.uk) (50)

When 18-year-old "Marinesniper" meets 18-year-old "tallhotblond" on the Internet, you know one of them is lying (abcnews.go.com) (279)

(WLFI)

Good: Spending time with your mom. Bad: Spending time with your mom while in police custody (wlfi.com) (20)

(Some Guy)

Before you call authorities to say somebody is stranded in a river and needs help, ask yourself: "Could I be suffering hallucinations from the drugs I just took?" (kirotv.com) (31)

It's time to focus on this week's TSG Mugshot Roundup (thesmokinggun.com) (215)

Deerfield Beach High needs to add some anger-management classes to its curriculum (abcnews.go.com) (68)

What do you get when you cross a stoat with Jet Li? (life.com) (42)

(KCRG)

When committing armed robbery, it's best if you getaway vehicle is nondescript. A van covered with pictures of strippers and an ad for "Big Earl's Goldmine" is NOT nondescript (kcrg.com) (33)

Problem: city bans drinking on the beach. Solution: Floatopia (abcnews.go.com) (47)

(Some Guy)

Photoshop this tempting treat (animalpicture.ru) (50)

California's Bar Association has decided the joke is getting old (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (181)

Man sentenced to death for sorcery, apparently having failed his saving throw (cnn.com) (137)

Pentagon cyberattack takes down jihadist Internet forum used to plan attacks in Iraq. Unfortunately, it was a covert CIA-Saudi honeypot used to monitor extremists (washingtonpost.com) (54)

(Some Boogers)

Eighth grader Sarah Flickinger suspended from school for Flick-ing-er nose piercing. Of course, her crazy mom is Flick-ing-er finger at the school district. Why? Because a kindergarten teacher has one too (redbluffdailynews.com) (125)

(WFAA)

Kind of like dominoes, but with giant exploding oil tanks (wfaa.com) (39)

Turns out recording upskirt videos might be legal in Indiana. Barely legal, that is (indystar.com) (93)

Curious about how the health care vote will go this weekend? Want to see who already knows the outcome? (abcnews.go.com) (173)

Robbery suspect claims he has a "good heart"... unlike the hospitalized dying elderly woman from whom he stole $7,000 worth of jewelry (cbc.ca) (44)

(Some Supervillain)

Supervillain Smackdown: Mystique vs Catwoman (thecorrectness.com) (165)

(Bournemouth Echo)

Bizarre supermarket home delivery substitutions no. 3,750: "Sorry, we have no children's bubble bath in stock. Here's some sexual lubricant instead" (bournemouthecho.co.uk) (104)

(Guy with a flickering fog of color)

Millions of migrating monarch butterflies have gotten lost somewhere over Mexico (vancouversun.com) (82)

Oh, it's a banner farking day at the old Bender family; a new pill can halt the damage cigarettes cause to your lungs, so smoke up Johnny (io9.com) (126)

Hero teacher Mrs Q eats the same food AS THE STUDENTS (with anti food-porn pics of what a student might eat) (abcnews.go.com) (186)

(Some Guy)

For sale: 840-acre island. Amenities include miles of private shoreline, 140-year old lighthouse and private research facility for highly infectous animal diseases (theday.com) (102)

Jon Stewart does his best Glenn Beck impersonation, somehow linking Jesus to the Ayatollah and both of them to Bert. The last one wasn't that much of a stretch (thedailyshow.com) (205)

Who is the stripper who is the painter who is the pizza maker? It's TSGs Friday Photo Fun. Contest ends at 6pm Eastern (thesmokinggun.com) (75)

California police department subjected to deadly booby-traps, allegedly set by a criminally inclined biker gang. And you thought Steven Seagal's movies were far-fetched (aolnews.com) (108)

The ladies and gentlemen at the Crufts Dog Show show us all about proper English decorum, tradition, dog scrotum tickling (w/video) (blogs.telegraph.co.uk) (40)

Items the RCMP seized from eco-terrorist Wiebo Ludwig's farm included a book called Disruptive Terrorism, a crossbow, and a Lord of the Dance cassette tape (edmontonjournal.com) (53)

Swedish court rules that faking it is illegal. Your wife is now a hardened criminal (thelocal.se) (77)

Here's a tip, just because you have coin operated booths that show 'movies' doesn't make you a cinema. Oh, and here's a bill for all those back taxes you owe, please drive through (news.yahoo.com) (17)

Maryland secedes from the South (news.yahoo.com) (227)

Town planning new museum to mark the 200th anniversary of the Luddite uprising. Museum to feature interactive, multi-media exhibits which can also be accessed via live video over the Internet (news.yahoo.com) (37)

Photoshop this Afghani youth (telegram.com) (41)

After a week of bad Publicity about found e-mails and federal grand juries, Sheriff Joe has apparently decided it's time for another Brown People Round-up in Maricopa County (abcnews.go.com) (336)

Having her gowns worn by Michelle Obama gave Chicago-based designer Maria Pinto such a career boost that, well, she's going out of business (aolnews.com) (108)

Burglar exhibits efficient time management, breaking into store and using its computer to try and sell the items he was in the process of stealing...all from his own MySpace account (abcnews.go.com) (15)

Actual headline: Woman is living proof that she's not dead (sfgate.com) (30)

I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a picture of a skateboarding owl (telegraph.co.uk) (75)

Joe Sarno, founder of the Chicago Comic-Con, is no longer mint (chicagobreakingnews.com) (40)

Thousands of marauding animals eating their way through the countryside, severely damaging the local ecosystem. Who is responsible for this environmental disaster? Animal activists (thelocal.de) (116)

The strangest chandelier ever. Period (techeblog.com) (99)

(Some Guy)

You know it's a good after-school girl-fight when an AK-47 was fired (thepittsburghchannel.com) (101)

When your 42-year old parrot is diagnosed with cancer, let it go (dailymail.co.uk) (119)

Most little kids are curious about where babies come from. Not all of them get to learn first hand by delivering their own brother (sfgate.com) (112)

(Some Guy)

Okay, this time I DID shoot the deputy (kptv.com) (40)

Universities starting to offer mixed gender dorm rooms, mixed species dorms rooms can only be next (articles.latimes.com) (217)

Ugly-ass baby squirrel monkey born at Edmonton's Valley Zoo. (With "awwww" pic) (cbc.ca) (25)

You know it's a good after-school girl-fight when Mom and "a slew of deputies on horseback, motorcycle, on foot and in cars" arrive (orlandosentinel.com) (49)

Man arrested for attacking neighbors' door with hoe because he believed they stole his cookies. (w/ pic of hoe beater) (upi.com) (34)

(Some Guy)

You know it's a weird story when the least strange part is a man eating a squirrel's eyeballs (bransondailynews.com) (51)

(Some Guy)

Photoshop this guinea pig posing for a portrait (bigpicture.ru) (54)

Bernie Madoff's dizziness and hypertension that sent him to a prison hospital last Dec. turned out to be a broken nose, fractured ribs and cuts to his head and face. Shylock sought for questioning (online.wsj.com) (254)

(Some Guy)

Having solved all other problems, undercover cops in Florida are now busting stores for letting people buy condoms with food stamps (970wfla.com) (122)

Head off to France for their new guillotine exhibit (dailymail.co.uk) (66)

Think your commute is bad? It takes just as long to drive the LA Marathon route during rush hour as it does to run it (latimes.com) (80)

(Albany Times Union)

Day after day / Alone on a hill / The naked old man with the camera is keeping perfectly still (timesunion.com) (35)

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