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Saturday, October 11, 2008
(VillageSoup.com) Cool I'll see your rare blue lobster and raise you one day-glo orange lobster. W/ hittable pic (6)
(I Heart Chaos) Strange Weedpunk literary genre? First cyberpunk, steampunk... now weedpunk? (6)
(TheMaineEdge.com) Spiffy "The show includes a cast of 77, including 32 Rockettes. They travel with two camels, a donkey and four sheep" (14)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these lil skeeters-to-be (13)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Spiffy Cars lined up 30 deep as two stations battle it out in gas war holding at $1.85 per gallon by Friday night (100)
(AP) Scary It's your weekly roundup of supermarket recalls: dried radishes, milk drinks, cookies. In other news, people actually eat dried radishes? (21)
(Daily Mail) Strange If you ever wanted to have a motorcycle shaped like a leaping jaguar, today's your lucky day (62)
(Yahoo) Followup A year later, Creation Museum still drawing big crowds. It's almost as if there was some intelligent design behind the whole project (196)
(Fox News) Unlikely Hurricane Norbert strengthens to category 3 storm. Should hit New Mexico by Sunday. Huh? (43)
(Boston Globe) Interesting Hundreds flock to Cape Cod harbor to see the huge manatee. Oh (48)
(AM New York) Spiffy All talented cats must get ready for the upcoming Cat Agility Championships in NYC. Caturday might be a good day to start (309)
(Some Guy) Ironic Joerg Haider, head of Austrian far-right political party, dies in car crash after trying to pass someone on the right (167)
(MSN) Caption What is Henry Paulson whispering to Ben Bernanke? (voting enabled) (134)
(SLO Tribune) Florida A traveling zoo is all fun and games until an allergic hotel maid meets lemur poop and spider monkey dander (bonus: plaintiff claims kidnappers took her to a cemetary so she'd drop case) (26)
(News.com.au) Strange Cop injured after being cold-cocked by a sex toy (50)
(SeattlePI) Weird Parents, when you feel like spanking your child, why not tickle them instead? (89)
(LA Times) Obvious Thinking of ending it all with a dive from the Golden Gate bridge? Well, now there's a catch (114)
(Hoopsa boyaboy hoopsa!) Photoshop Photoshop this proud paternal presentation (25)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this modular model (21)
(Statesman) Dumbass Austin cop forgot gun in courthouse bathroom. TX state judge suggests reasonable step of banning all cops from having guns in courthhouses (37)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Elderly man jailed because he can't afford to sod his lawn according to homeowners association decree (173)
(Sign On San Diego) Dumbass Insane man kills his mom claiming he was acting on CIA orders to kill this woman who he believed was draining so much money from banks that it would cause worldwide famine (66)

Friday, October 10, 2008
(Guardian.com) Interesting Latest counterinsurgency in Iraq is led by roaches who hitchhiked in with American troops. At least the roaches can win something there (61)
(Telegraph) Obvious Now's the time to invest in mackerel (69)
(MDN) Amusing 79-year-old big dummy arrested for blocking sidewalk with multi-ton garbage mountain (pic) (42)
(AP) Hero Dog dies saving owner from burning house (170)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this lakeside real estate (38)
(The Sun) Cool Chimp Anjana becomes surrogate mother to adorable white tiger cub twins (44)
(The Courier-Journal) Dumbass How many times have you heard this one and yet it still makes you just shake your head: Two arrested in robbery after stopping to ask cops for directions (21)
(Reuters) Amusing Toss another Marklar on the Marklar (75)
(AP) Unlikely Japanese nuclear complex starts smoking, officials say there's nothing to fear (64)
(MTV) Obvious Mark Wahlberg not a fan of "Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals" (78)
(Some Guy) NewsFlash Troopergate findings: Palin abused her power. Turns out she really does have executive experience (2162)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida How do real female fans support their Tampa Bay Devil Rays? By getting Rayhawk bikini waxes (82)
(Reuters) Unlikely Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega convinced that "God (is) punishing the United States with the financial crisis for trying to impose its economic principles on poor countries." Bet that makes his taco pop (118)
(Some Guy) Asinine With Massachusetts having solved all of its other problems... income tax, deteriorating roads, schools with no accreditation... they have decided to argue over what the state book should be (69)
(Wired) Weird We don't need to tell you that the next president of the United States is going to have a lot to do. He has to fix the economy, the environment, and Wall Street as well as reveal the truth about UFOs. Wait, what? (169)
(BBC) Obvious Family shares home with pet donkey, figuring why not have another lazy ass around the place? (pic) (18)
(Westword) Obvious The best beers in the US are brewed in Colorado, California, Alaska, Oregon and rest of the West (275)
(Variety) Cool Cast of "Family Guy" to present two nights of songs and masturbation jokes at Carnegie Hall next month (68)
(Telegraph) Obvious Actual headline: "Talkin' Bout My Boring Generation." Welcome to old farthood, Baby Boomers (73)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Man builds a life-sized replica of Fred Flintstone's car for his yard (49)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing It's League Championship Week over at The Smoking Gun mugshot roundup (197)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Mother-of-the-year candidate buys her 13-year-old daughter and her two friends a bottle of vodak, three bottles of wine, and two alcopops before charity walk, because walking is hard when you're sober. w/OMG MY EYES pic (148)
(Some Guy) Stupid Comcast gives ultimate in crappy service to homeowner (103)
(Yahoo) Interesting Forbes recalculates list of wealthiest Americans in wake of financial crisis and stock market collapse, reveals that Buffett has overtaken Gates as USA's richest man, breaking 15-year deathgrip (77)
(BBC) Strange Gas prices in Britain are now so high that terrorists have taken to escaping after planting their bombs by rickshaw (29)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious Report: Jose Canseco detained at Mexican border for possession of steroid that "maintains and restores testicular size" (57)
(Some Crazy Guy) Florida Live in Key West and have a check from Mexico you need cashed? Do you c) Walk to Chicago with three bike trains full of crap (83)
(The Local (Germany)) Spiffy The numbers are in from Oktoberfest - Only 6.6 million liters of beer and 104 oxen, however condom sales are bursting at 1.5 million (44)
(Wordpress) Obvious McCain's tracking numbers against the S&P 500 over the past two weeks. It's the economy, stupid (232)
(Live Science) Interesting Stress from difficult economic times does not cause more suicides. Actually, it causes people to eat like Michael Moore at a free Vegas buffet (40)
(Canoe) Interesting Canada has universal healthcare, a budget surplus, no war, and financially sound banks, not to mention Canadian Bacon. Who's the moron now, America, eh? (353)
(The Register Citizen) Dumbass Student brings fake gun to school during visit by presidential candidate Ralph Nader. In other news, Nader qualifies for Secret Service protection? (59)
(Cracked) Amusing 6 horrible lessons Hollywood loves to teach kids (112)
(ClusterStock) Obvious Another thing your $700 billion bailout package is buying for Wall Street: $1000 lap dances (122)
(CBS News) Hero Vladimir Putin gets rare tiger cub for his birthday. PETA upset because he HUNTS tigers with his JUDO (84)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass BBC radio presenters suspended after referring to the disabled as "window-lickers", now wish they hadn't gone full retard (66)
(Canoe) Followup Georgia requests complete Russian pullout, Russia claims it feels too good to stop (27)
(The Moscow Times) Amusing Russia's parliamentarians are off their meds, but still have access to a liquor store at work (14)
(Political Wire) Cool Sarah Palin confirmed to appear on Saturday Night Live on October 25th (376)
(BBC) Scary France pulls tainted Chinese food. And by tainted, they mean not soaked in butter or containing snails (58)
(FARK) Cool REMINDER - Fark Party tonight in Petaluma. 8pm at Dempsyes. DIT, LGTprevious thread (42)
(CNN) NewsFlash Following Massachusetts' lead, Connecticut goes for the reacharound of justice. Bunch of Nutmeggers (633)
(CNN) Dumbass This just in: Venezuela shuts down all McDonald's restaurants for 48 hours. When asked for comment Hugo Chavez said, "Robble robble." (118)
(Telegraph) Scary Topless model Jodie Marsh follows in Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama's footsteps, on the debating platform at the Oxford Union (95)
(MSNBC) Amusing "Stupid": It's not just a Fark tag, it's a sentencing option (40)
(Some Guy) Obvious AT&T turns user agreement into a 2,500 page mess of legal jargon, then sends it to your junk mail folder (100)
(Seacoastonline.com) Followup Palin on the way to New Hampshire, probably dispatched to deal with Ford-humping moose (85)
(TBO) Florida Not news: Boy gets Mohawk haircut to support team. News: School suspends boy. Fark: Boy sidesteps suspension by changing to Mohawk-friendly school. Daniel Day-Lewis approves (63)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this hungry hungry hippo (39)
(Reuters) Stupid Making math "uncool" is hurting American competitiveness researchers say. Unlike before, when being able to quote binomial theorems from memory was guaranteed to get you laid (274)
(Peter Pumpkinhead) Dumbass Man attacks Pumpkin People, presumably trying to squash them (19)
(The Local (Germany)) Scary Wild boar vs. hunters ends 1-1 after overtime (53)
(Some Guy) Cool Coolest collection of high speed photographs you will see until the next time someone posts a cool collection of high speed photographs (53)
(webn) Dumbass List of things you shouldn't bring to the airport: Gun, nail clippers, human skull (29)
(Albany Times Union) Scary Obama called Osama on absentee ballots. Bonus: "So far three people have called to point it out" (297)
(BusinessWeek) Scary So, can we hit 6,000 today? It's the official "AHHHH OH GOD MY RETIREMENT" stock market thread. EVERYBODY PANIC (835)
(Yorkshire Evening Post) Obvious "Transvestite Rambo arsonist sent to jail." So few words, so much hilarity (pic) (51)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Asinine Why is the city of Chicago backing off its law against using cell phones while driving? If you said, "Because an alderman was caught doing it," you win the prize (51)
(Fox News) Scary Your girl refuses to give you oral sex, that's a shooting... in the crotch (141)
(CBS 46) Cool Man barricaded in his home is brought into custody when Atlanta police try an experimental new tactic: Waiting for him to fall asleep (28)
(USA Today) Interesting Dalai Lama's gall stone successfully removed. Stone will now ascend to its higher purpose (50)
(MSNBC) Cool Martti Ahtisaari has won the Nobel Peace prize. The committee said his work was the bomb, even though it's still not Finnished (23)
(USA Today) Asinine Walgreen drugstores forced to pull Talking Obama, McCain and Clinton dolls off shelves after receiving a couple of complaints from ass-wookies with no sense of humor (122)
(The Local (Sweden)) Hero Ryanair "defends right of Swedish women to take their clothes off," earning nomination for title of World's Favourite Airline (84)
(STLToday) Dumbass Federal employee in charge of ordering office supplies still thinks the stripper was really interested in him, not his government-issued credit card they used to process $280,000 in phony charges (30)
(Examiner) Cool Obama to hold four rallies in Philly tomorrow. Secret Service detail on heightened alert for suspicious individuals bitterly clinging to guns, religion (396)
(UPI) Sad X + y = infinity. Former head of MIT Math department, and author of seminal algebra text dies (48)
(London Times) Silly You're through to Islamic chat: Dial 1 for a fatwa... Dial 2 for 40 virgins... Dial 3 if you require a stoning... (42)
(The Local (Sweden)) Amusing Parking attendant slaps ticket on police car -- while the police are busy responding to an armed robbery (28)
(Reuters) Interesting Academic finds evidence that Bach's wife wrote some of his music. Mostly the pieces that seem to go on and on forever without ever really getting to the point (110)
(SLTrib) Sick Your girlfriend breaks up with you. Do you: A) Have a few beers and good cry? B) Seek out some revenge sex? Or C) Burn down her grandparents' house? (64)
(Seacoastonline.com) Followup Ford-humping moose is back and horny as ever (63)
(Daily Mail) Interesting UK treasury officials flying to Iceland to get back the money their citizens had in Icelandic banks, will take Bjork hostage if they have to (104)
(CBC) Scary Somali pirates release Filipino seamen. Oh, so they were THAT kind of pirate (42)
(Daily Express) Dumbass Dumbass special: British government loses personal details... of the entire British Army (36)
(Star-News) Stupid Need for soda causes pilot to crash shrimp boat into pier (52)
(The Local (Germany)) Dumbass Boat slip: €585 per year. Luxury yacht: €19,500. Selling your yacht for €22.50 on eBay because you neglected to set a minimum bid: Priceless (102)
(BBC) Interesting Are you a slubberdegullion, a termagent or a frippet? We already know you're a scrimshanker (62)
(Some Guy) Florida Old bingo hall introduces "strip poker" to list of legal gaming (with pic) (15)
(fmr shac 1st lt) Interesting "911, what is your emergency?" "Man, we really need a large pepperoni and mushroom pizza, like, immediately" (25)
(Bloomberg) Scary President Bush to announce martial law at 10:25 a.m. Just kidding, it's a public statement to calm the nation, followed by panicked selling at 10:30 and THEN martial law at 10:45 (578)
(Daily Mail) Sad Father of two crushed to death after falling into printing press. This story is continued on Pages 3, 4, 9 and 10 (135)
(Daily Mail) Cool Nanny State bans Marmite from school, and not just because it tastes like ass. Bonus: Even British papers have started using 'Nanny State' in headlines, just like us (201)
(Marketwatch) Asinine New website offers guide to canine medical conditions. Now you can annoy your vet with asinine Internet self diagnoses, just like you do your own doctor (83)
(Mr. and Mrs. Kramer) Strange You think your divorce was messy? At least you didn't have to saw your house in half (61)
(MSNBC) Scary NSA supports our troops, by monitoring their phone calls for quality assurance (172)
(SFGate) Interesting Brazil discovers massive oil reserves deep under the ocean. Will tap reserves by coating ocean floor with wax, then ripping oil out of the earth's crust (89)
(Wired) Photoshop Star Trek movie writers say we have to bring more Star Wars into Star Trek. Fark photoshoppers on the case (118)
(Reuters) Cool Oil approaches $80 on news that you need gas to drive to the unemployment office (143)
(National Geographic) Photoshop Photoshop this marine maw (32)
(Newsday) Stupid Schools to ban processed meats from cafeterias. Your crotchfruit wants tubesteak (95)
(News.com.au) Dumbass The art of pulling a successful sicky lies in not claiming to be so ill that your boss decides to try and visit you in hospital (41)
(News.com.au) Obvious Richard Pryor's "Superman III" computer bug plays hell with the Commonwealth Bank of Australia (39)
(Lincoln Journal Star) Scary Woman finds a homeless man sleeping on her porch and wakes him up by kicking his shoe. Since this is Fark, you can probably guess what happened next (177)

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