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Wednesday, October 08, 2008
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this sparse space (40)
(Some Mayor) Amusing Mayor of Maine to make series of sex tapes. "I wish that somebody had actually provided a place besides the back of a car." (8)
(AJC) Amusing Pentecostal pastor wants to make a reality show based upon his quest to find a God-fearing wife (25)
(SFGate) Amusing Nobody bothered to tell the new UC Davis band director about the "naked bus" tradition (47)
(News.com.au) Dumbass You've robbed a convenience store do you: a) steal dogfood; b) eat it; c) fall asleep on the store's roof; d) all of the above? (42)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Student who flashed a teacher said he was inspired by "That 70's Show" (40)
(Telegraph) Obvious The media tosses aside the less important issues of the day to focus on what matters: George Clooney has grown a moustache. A MOUSTACHE (86)

Tuesday, October 07, 2008
(London Times) Interesting Ewer kidding: 10th-Century Islamic carved crystal jug sells for $5.5 million (65)
(Some Girl) Photoshop Photoshop this heavy smoker (38)
(Stuff) Amusing Today's violent custody dispute is brought to you courtesy of a possum (32)
(Daily Mail) Obvious St. John's Wort plant is just as effective in treating depression as Prozac. But since it's a natural herb, instead of being embraced, the treatment will probably be made illegal (199)
(Reuters) Followup Obama/McCain 2: This Time It's Personal. Discussion Thread #2 (2689)
(divisibleby0.com) Amusing The eight phases of dating. Subby thinks it's real, but he's still trying to get past phase one (91)
(Local6) Florida Strip club offers free flu shots (34)
(CBS Philadelphia) Dumbass Self-titled "God" storms into New Jersey high school and begins stripping. Even times are tough for the Big Guy upstairs (37)
(Some Guy) Asinine Ten-year-old was doing 90 when the van he was driving crashed. Luckily, two adults were supervising; a man wearing a shirt that said "Buy this dad a beer" & a woman seen stuffing pills into her mouth at the scene (22)
(Dlisted) Followup Now we know what this guy was doing while his girlfriend was stuck to the toilet seat for a month: he was buying lottery tickets (35)
(Belmont University) PSA Obama/McCain 2: Talking Point Boogaloo Discussion Thread #1(Thread closed. See new debate thread above) (2590)
(Some Guy) Dumbass O.J. was so certain there would be a hung jury in his latest trial that he planned an "acquittal party", guess that will have to wait for a while (98)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Followup Second debate rules favor everyone except the voters (188)
(KnoxNews) Interesting Health officials are stumped as to why 40 students got sick while on a field trip to a Civil War re-enactment. Haven't yet ruled out terminal boredom (52)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Police chief shoots moose walking through town because people won't stop looking at it (96)
(Some Guy) Amusing Palin handles a heckler who is apparently zombie Jerry Garcia. (With video goodness.) (659)
(Cracked) Amusing Five retarded get-rich quick scams (People still fall for) (248)
(AP) Unlikely China is conducting its own probe of Chinese gymnasts' ages; say they won't rest until they find the real killers. Um--ages, l mean. The real ages (63)
(Yahoo) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Rejected cell phone features and accessories (58)
(Birmingham News) Obvious Alabama officials learn of this new rock song about the state by some band called Lynyrd Skynyrd, rush to get song's title onto state's license plates (122)
(Huffington Post) Amusing Anonymous package of bacon closes congressman's office, which marks the first time in history a politician ran away from pork (75)
(Slate) Followup The "dudes who own cats" article in the NY Times Styles section once again proves that "The section exists to advance the bogus" (124)
(Drew) FarkBlog Discussion of Fark's moderating system - Part I. How Fark is different and exactly what are the goals in moderating? (2184)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Dumbass International story of the day: Iraqi wife of Norwegian diplomat posted to Vietnam gets drunk in Australia, grabs cop's ass and says: "I love you guys. You look so farking hot with your 9 millimeters." Then it gets weird (with pic) (40)
(MSN) NewsFlash Dow drops nearly 500 points, possibly to infinity and beyond. Not a repeat from yesterday (461)
(Reason Magazine) Obvious "Who knew that Europe, of all places, was so under-regulated? Or maybe de-regulation is not the chief cause for the outbreak of financial chaos?" (179)
(Hot Air) Interesting In addition to funneling money via earmarks to large campaign contributors, his wife's employer, and his pastor, Obama awarded $75,000 in government grants to his wife's cousin (365)
(Some Guy) Weird Woman dies after being trapped in freezer she was cleaning. Police thawt it was an open-and-shut case, but things were harder than expected. Family says they'll give her an ice funeral (55)
(BBC) Obvious China making noises about Nobel Peace Prize, hopes the "right person" is chosen for the honor--meaning, one assumes, anyone who isn't a dissident locked away in their prison system (40)
(Washington Post) Spiffy Study shows that if TV commercials are shorter, people watch them. It also shows that if you drill a hole in viewers' skulls and physically insert your ad, it works even better (69)
(New York Daily News) Sick Rabbi arrested for porking his daughter. That's not kosher (152)
(CNN) Obvious Fed Reserve Chair Ben Bernanke says his economic outlook is even weaker than previous estimates. That's for those of you who were getting tired of all the good business news (126)
(KC Star) Interesting College hosting the presidential debate has been dry for more than 50 years, but will allow alcohol the night of the debate, since the live audience will need it (64)
(BBC) Scary Qantas still unsuccessful in killing its first passenger. Although it's not for lack of trying (35)
(AP) Ironic State agency to promote economic development will close down on Fridays in order to save money (19)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Supreme Court to rule on FCC's ability to fine networks for "casual swearing". Dick Cheney expected to casually invite the court to go fine themselves (59)
(WLEX18) Dumbass Former Deputy accused of murder emails police to taunt them. Suspect: OMGWTFLOL U can't catch me LOL. Police: OMG ur in iowa? lol (30)
(CNBC) Scary USA isn't winning the "worst stock market performance of the year" award yet. China and Russia are - come on guys, we can't let those commies win (69)
(CNN) Interesting Tropical storm Marco expected to hit Mexico, unfazed by the Mexican Navy's efforts to lure it away from land by getting close to it and yelling "Polo" (37)
(CBS Boston) Dumbass Angry passenger takes out his frustrations with flight crew over delay by throwing foot powder around the plane. Buh-Bye (34)
(MSNBC) Florida You're a bus driver and want to make the kids shut up. Do you: C) park on a railroad tracks with a train coming and threaten to not move until the kids shut up? (69)
(Hot Air) Interesting What happens when SNL takes a break from the "Palin is stoopid" weekly segment and instead makes fun of George Soros and Nancy Pelosi? Next stop "memory hole" (296)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Sexagenerian threatens wife for sex (44)
(Some Guy) Interesting NJ Governor wants the state to be the world leader in wind power through an innovative wind-reclamation process whereby guido hairdryer blowback is recaptured and recycled (56)
(Some Guy) Stupid Double shooting at a nightclub was probably triggered by a conflict over a woman. Or maybe a hat. "I keep an AR-15 in my truck and if anyone (expletive) with me, that's the first place I run" (98)
(ABC News) Asinine Flush with taxpayer cash, AIG executives head to "conference" at expensive luxury resort (255)
(BBC) Dumbass If you're going to plead not-guilty don't tell police, "I'm glad I ripped his head off". Threatening to eat the corpse is also frowned upon (10)
(AP) Interesting Om mani padme hum. Om mani padme hum. Om mani padme hum. This is my rifle. This is my gun. This one's for fightin'. This one's for fun. Om mani padme hum (32)
(BBC) Fail If you're going to choose being a criminal as a career in a country filled with security cameras, it's probably not a good idea to get your name and date of birth tattooed on your neck (26)
(BBC) Unlikely Scientists discover genetic link to premature ejacul--DAMMIT (124)
(NewsLite) Amusing UK Police taser runaway sheep. Or as it's known in Wales: "foreplay" (16)
(Telegraph) Cool Guy tours the world. Brings back excellent snapshots of a fridge magnet, a key ring and a money bank (34)
(The Edmonton Sun) Unlikely Guy refuses to pay child support, because he says he was asleep when the child was conceived (66)
(USA Today) Interesting Activists say the latest endangered species is ..... t........ t....... th.............. th....thth .....thth...... the neon sign (41)
(CantonRep.com) Weird "Hello 911? I'm calling from my son's trailer. It looks like he's in the bathroom, but his head's missing. I know it sounds really weird. Could you just dispatch an officer?" (82)
(Sign On San Diego) Amusing Boater injured. By a mullet (40)
(Some Guy) Interesting Lebanon and Israel go to war over the most pressing issue in the Middle East: who invented falafel (66)
(Metro) Amusing There are many places in the world where skinny dipping is acceptable, but the moat around the Imperial Palace in Tokyo does not feature on that list. Picture in link is funny, but Not safe for work (95)
(Google) Photoshop Theme: If the Amish ruled the world... (84)
(Some Guy) Strange Which is weirder: This woman's sketch for a project to cover an SUV in crochet, or that U.S. Customs detained her on suspicion of "copyright infringement" for posessing it? (pic) (131)
(Daily Camera) Amusing I bet you didn't know there was an International Association of Bloodstain Pattern Analysts. But there is, and they're having their annual convention. Par-tay (70)
(Telegraph) Cool Bacchus takes control over Italian plumbing (33)
(Newsday) Amusing Protip: When robbing someone, it's generally considered bad form to take a nap in their bed afterwards (33)
(Reuters) Unlikely Iran: US plane violated our airspace, was forced to land here. US: Where is it? Iran: Um, well, we later allowed it to leave 'cause we're just magnanimous and cool like that. US: Uh-huh, suuuuuuure you did (198)
(AP) Amusing Let's Learn Judo with Vladamir Putin (76)
(Reuters) Cool Right now, the monkeys just act as waiters, bringing hot towels to the restaurant patrons. But really, they're just waiting for their chance to round us up into camps any day now (54)
(The Local (Sweden)) Strange Medical board rules fellatio is not an acceptable treatment for kidney pain. Come on, guys, could it really hurt? (165)
(NY Observer) Interesting New York Times to consolidate sections in a cost-cutting move, enabling you to read about your tanking stocks and the drain-circling Knicks in the same section (48)
(Middle East Online) Spiffy Baghdad's first Chinese restaurant opens, will feature General Petraeus' Chicken (106)
(News.com.au) Scary Today's story of a teenage girl waking up to find a large snake eating her comes to you direct from Australia (285)
(Telegraph) Strange Is this the right building for the hostages? Here's your order: 20 Hawaiians and 22 Margaritas. The police will bring 'em in. Thanks for ordering with Dominos (29)
(Marketwatch) Stupid Seeing how well it worked out for the rest of the financial sector, the Federal government announces its own plans to expand into the exciting world of unsecured lending (171)
(USA Today) Interesting New airport bomb scanners will look for cold spots on your body as possible bombs. Subby expects his wife to be detained frequently (92)
(AP) Interesting "Authorities said (the driver) had the highest blood alcohol level ever recorded for anyone in Rhode Island who wasn't dead" (113)
(Seacoastonline.com) Obvious NH woman fined $200 for donating one sneaker, half a shutter, and a perfectly good cabinet door to a homeless shelter (61)
(CNN) Interesting Woman's bizarre phobia causes her to avoid putting wood in her mouth. Isn't that just called "marriage"? (138)
(The Local (Sweden)) Scary Woman upset ova appendix surgery mistake (66)
(Local6) Obvious Researchers at Cornell University determine that fatties sit closer to the food at buffets. It's not news, it's -- hey, is that braised? (104)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this silly stretch (61)
(Leaf Chronicle) Amusing Protip: Make sure the fox you just ran over is dead before putting it in the back of your SUV (84)
(SFGate) Unlikely With the economy floundering, 12 counties on the California-Oregon border are considering seceding from the Union. "Those liberal people down south don't understand us at all." (213)
(BBC) Obvious Putin frowns on Russians putting up statues of his likeness, presumably to save the trouble of toppling them over after hanging his bullet-riddled corpse by the heels in revolution of 2017 (34)
(ABC News) Stupid Today's "news to scare the crap out of you" article: A runny nose can be the sign of a killer illness. EVERYBODY KLEENEX (53)
(CBS News) Sad Ten years ago, Matt Shepard was kidnapped and brutally beaten and left to die (lots)
(News.com.au) Amusing Unusual: musical written about Tasmanian fatal gold mine collapse. Fark: "In A flat minor." Who could possibly be offended by that? (80)
(Canoe) Obvious New law makes it easier to say sorry without getting your ass handed to you. Admin, when I said you wouldn't know a funny headline if it was three stories tall and kicked you in the ass, well, although it's true, I apologize (44)
(Click On Detroit) Dumbass When a 7th grade girl loses $42 at school, do you: C) Send her friends to the principals office for a strip search (110)
(Guardian.com) Spiffy What have nuns ever done for you? They proved that beer is healthy (52)

Monday, October 06, 2008
(Some Chick) Strange Two vehicles heading in opposite directions collide in accident but never came in contact. They both hit a bull elk....cutting it in half (120)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Interesting Welcome to Baltimore, home of the $11,000 traffic ticket (80)
(Daily Star) Amusing How to placate 74 terrified tourists stuck 500ft in the air: Unlock the vending machines (50)
(Boston Globe) Amusing Church welcomes dogs to services. Your dog wants to sleep in Sunday (44)
(New! Magazine) Dumbass Not News dramatically redefined: Woman with bad hair to 'probably have haircut' next year sometime. Probably (88)
(The Scotsman) Sick The first Mr Gay UK [not that there is anything wrong with that] ate a guy [there is something very wrong with that] (158)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop these kids hanging out with an Olympic gold medalist (58)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Florida ♪♪ Bra bra bra, bra bra bandit. Bra bra bra, bra bra bandit. Bra Bandiiiiiit, e-bay my C cup ♪♪ (80)
(Boing Boing) Spiffy Artificial foreskin lets you keep your sensitivity AND the covenant of Abraham (w/pic) (245)
(AP) Misc Good news: If you're over 75, you can stop getting those pesky colon cancer screenings (18)
(AP) Asinine Some people just want to spoil Halloween for the kiddies by giving out toys, stickers or pencils instead of candy. Egg sales to likely rise in retaliation (115)
(Reuters) Hero He may be a mavrick, but "he's no Maverick," says patriarch of the orignal Maverick family. Adds, "now get off my lawn" (184)
(Oregon Live) Dumbass College student sets dormitory fire, causes $10,000 damage, faces 90-month minimum sentence. Bonus: 31-year old dorm resident (64)
(London Times) Sappy Roxey the tame barn owl found after four days in the wild. The whole story seems made for Disney, except for the leather strap bondage part. SAFWRD? (23)
(LA Times) Asinine The doom of Ham has been branded on the form and features of his African descendants. Fortunately the McCain Campaign has one man willing to show us the light of how dangerous a Black president would be. Lest we go against the word of god (186)
(UPI) Interesting Report shows that female medical students aren't confident. Which is fine with men. "So.. you have an earache?" "Yes." "But you want me to give you a prostate exam..why?" "I just NEED one" (97)
(Some Chicken Little) Scary Asteroid to impact Earth tonight over Northern Sudan. Well, that ought to solve that whole Darfur problem (187)
(Breitbart.com) Asinine So the US was all like, "hey Taiwan, have this $6.5 billion of weapons," and they were all like "thanks bro" and it was all good until that China was like "you're totally not my BFF anymore." (83)

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