Guys, you have to believe me! I have a REAL date with a REAL fashion model! I met her online. I checked her name with the agency, and she’s genuine.

I’m sure she’s drop-dead gorgeous. I thought it would be cool to see her for the first time like this, working at a fancy show. I brought you guys along so you can spread the word about how lucky I am. Earl, you capture all the magic on this video camera, so my ex will die from envy.

After this show, I’m taking this chick straight to the poshest place in town. She’ll be coming down the runway soon, and she’s gonna flash a V-sign. She’s supposed to be wearing something yellow. Man, I can’t wait! Are you rolling, Earl?

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A model poses during the show of the label “Anglomania” of British designer Vivienne Westwood during the ‘Fashionweek Berlin Spring Summer 2009′ in Berlin, July 20, 2008. REUTERS/Hannibal Hanschke

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Hey, Blog Guy, did you know Barack Obama is out of the country?

Yes. It’s been in the news.

So, I hear he got into a bare-knuckle throw-down with some German guy. Is that right?

These things get blown out of proportion. Look, Obama and the Mayor of Berlin were discussing the best way to drink Jagermeister, and things got a bit heated. The mayor made fists and said, “My friends will settle this!”

Whoa! Then what?

Then Obama reached into his pocket and pulled out this heavy bear statue he takes everywhere, and said, “Maybe your friends should meet Mr. Bear!” That pretty much ended it. But don’t hold me to that version, because I’m just guessing based on a couple of pictures.

Okay, that sounds fair enough.

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Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama receives a statuette of a bear, symbol of the capital, from Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit during their meeting in Hotel Adlon in Berlin, July 24, 2008.  REUTERS/ Michael Kappeler/Pool

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Chad Ruble, our collector of strange video clips, is back today in his state-of-the-art studio in leafy Times Square.

One of today’s clips is about a Santa Claus convention.

Speaking of which, can any sharp-eyed viewers guess where the Ruble kids will be getting their toys this holiday season?

Here’s Chad and here is Chad’s And Finally archive…

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Folks, we got a wedding to plan! Who’s giving away the bride? The proud father?

No, Salvatore’s in prison.

How about the bride’s Uncle Leoluca or her brother Gianni?

Prison.

Um, her brother Giuseppe?

Prison. No, wait! I think Giuseppe got out! HE can give her away!

Welcome to the tribulations of planning a wedding in Sicily for the daughter of a former “boss of bosses.” And it only gets worse.

Now, what town are they getting married in?

Corleone.

Corleone? You’re freakin’ kidding me, right? Why don’t you just shoot me now?

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Lucia Riina, daughter of the most feared Sicilian Mafia boss Salvatore “Toto” Riina, marries Vincenzo Bellomo in Corleone, Sicily, July 23, 2008. REUTERS/Stringer

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Blog Guy, I see a lot of pictures of President Bush wearing various baseball caps. I was wondering, where does he get those?

Right. Whenever Air Force One lands, there’s a designated “basket lady.” She’s allowed through security with assorted small items to sell to the President. Baseball caps, tangerines, meat products…

Sometimes, as you can see in this photo, if he has enough small bills he’ll just buy the whole basket. After take-off he wears the hat and eats the food.

That’s not true! I think you’re just making up moronic horse-poopy again!

Oh yeah? Where ELSE would the President of the United States get a baseball cap?

President George W. Bush poses with Freedom Corps volunteer Sherri Goggin upon his arrival at Dobbins Air Reserve Base in Atlanta, GA, July 22, 2008. Bush is on a daytrip to Georgia to attend a Republican party fundraiser. REUTERS/Jason Reed

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Blog Guy, I love your What Beats What? feature, and I have one for you. Which kind of bicycle is faster - racing, or stationary?

Good question! To find out, we entered a stationary exercise bike in the Tour de France. As you can see here, our bike was leading the pack when we last checked in.

But this is HUGE! Could your rider really win?

We may never know. Do you think the powerful tire makers will want it to get out if a stationary bike beats their high-priced racing tires?

Look, I’m in danger just running this photo. You need to send it to everyone you know, so the whole world will be watching. If you’re on Facebook, join the Oddly Enough blog network and even more people will see it!

Pack of riders cycles past woman on a stationary bicycle during the thirteenth stage of the Tour de France cycling race, July 18, 2008. REUTERS/ Bogdan Cristel

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I’ve posted items recently on the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona. And while I don’t think there is anything very macho about that activity - unless by macho you mean pathetic - I admit it does have some cachet when compared with another event this week.

Toro de Cuerda!! In English, that is “Bull on rope.” Yes. A bull restrained by a rope is allowed to “run” through the mean streets of Grazalema, Spain, while folks hide on handy structures above him. 

I’m not sure, but I believe the participants wear gore-proof clothing and have four-inch-thick safety glass between them and the animal, who for all I know may just be two guys in a bull costume.

Go ahead, try saying this in your most MACHO voice: “Oh, Si! I climbed above the tethered old arthritic bull who wears bifocal glasses!” Not exactly straight out of Hemingway, is it?

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People hold on to a window to avoid a bull during an event entitled ‘Toro de Cuerda’ (Bull on Rope) where a bull restrained by a rope is allowed to run through the streets in Grazalema, southern Spain July 21, 2008. REUTERS/Jon Nazca

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“So, you girls come here often? What’s yer sign? Hot enough fer ya in DC?

“What do I DO? Doncha recanize me?

“I’ll give ya a hint. I’m on TV EVERY day!

“Naw, I’m not Regis, but that’s a good guess. Does the name President Bush ring a bell?

“Well, right, but see that one was my daddy. We’re BOTH presidents! I’m really serious! I have photo ID here somewhere….”

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President George W. Bush sits with Olympians, including Jackie Joyner Kersee (L), at a dinner in honor of U.S. past and present Olympians in the White House, July 21, 2008. REUTERS/ Joshua Roberts

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Blog Guy, my car got stolen last week and I’m furious! Is there any real progress on theft-prevention?

For sure. Have you seen the new Mercedes-Benz MS (Maximum Security) model in this photo? It is SO cool! The new security system tracks a would-be thief, snags him around the legs, hoists him upside-down on a retractable pole and holds him until police arrive.

Awesome! And is there anything, you know, beyond that?

Yes, another car maker is working on an MSV (Maximum Security Vigilante) model. It’s similar to the MS, except for the addition of boiling wax, electricity and flames. The police don’t even need to bother showing up, if you take my meaning.

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An acrobat performs above Mercedes-Benz CLS 350 during its unveiling ceremony in Seoul July 21, 2008.  REUTERS/Ben Weller

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Blog Guy, will you help settle some bar bets about what beats what if you match them against each other?

Sure. I can set up any kind of test match for you. My budget is huge.

Okay, a guy leaping like a frog, against a Yamaha motorcycle. Who wins?

As you can see in this photo, the Yamaha creamed the leaping frog guy.

Cool! A race horse against a massive container ship. Who wins?

Surprisingly in our test match the container ship beat three horses.

Lastly, two young punks with hammers against an older woman with a broom?

I even shot video of this one. The broom-lady creamed the punks.

Wow! This is the best online service I’ve ever seen. I’m joining your Oddly Enough Blog Facebook network.

Welcome, italic-font stranger. Lots of others are doing likewise.

(above) Yamaha MotoGP rider Valentino Rossi of Italy (L) celebrates after winning the 2008 U.S. Grand Prix in California July 20, 2008. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

(below) Jockeys race horses as a container ship and a ferry pass by during traditional horse and trotter race meeting in Duhnen on the German North Sea coast, July 13, 2008. REUTERS/Christian Charisius

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