Nancy, I have been married almost 28 years and my husband sounds a lot like yours about color choices or what goes where, but he is now having some opinions and I'm not sure I like it. It's been pretty much what I say goes. Now he wants to give input, not just about a room color but other things and I am learning to listen and really hear what he has to say. After all these years we are still changing, adapting and in love. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'll read this article to my husband and see what he says. Thanks.

thank you Nancy, for reminding me that really in the big scheme of things during this lifetime, how hard is it to let my spouse have what makes him happiest, if it's no big deal for me "). For instance my husband prefers a clutter free environment and as few as possible photos and memorabilia (dust collectors) in our living area. I have to admit that leaving small piles of things like magazines, books, lists, or even clothes is something I've always done and didn't think anything of it-in fact it felt downright "homey", But being married to someone who prefers NO clutter has changed me to where I pick up after myself - for the most part - laugh - and he helps - he puts my shoes away and my earrings back in their 'place'. I love making my husband happy this way and he appreciates that I do it - he knows it's a challenge for me. I ask myself - will it really matter one week from now or one year or ten years? I love my marriage and thank God for my husband and a chance to build my character.

Wow - I really needed to hear that today. We are a military family who moves every couple of years, and oh, how I struggle with my desire for new things as our own belongings show the wear and tear of multiple moves combined with young children... but the Lord has blessed (yes, I have to force myself to say blessed!) me with a husband who believes that as long as the couch doesn't fall aprt when you sit on it, we don't need to replace it... and as long as you can hammer the bookcase back together every time you move it an inch, then we have no need for another one... and as much as it may drive me crazy at time, and I am so tempted to wallow in the "But I'm ready for grown-up furniture!" tantrum, I have to stop and thank God for a frugal husband... indeed, we have money to go and visit family (all the way across the country), and we can put our children in sports and music lessons, and most importantly, we can tithe and give to special needs in the church all as a result of my husband's frugalness. And who knows... maybe God will bless us some day with a newer couch!

This is absolutely brilliant, thanks for sharing this and making me think!

It's hard to die to yourself - take it from a hard headed woman who loves to get her way. I still struggle from time to time. But in every situation, I've noticed that when I do die to myself, it's not the end of the world and as you point out, it's such a little thing in the end.

Next time, however, I suggest you and Barry compromise - especially now that he's starting to care a lot more *grin*

Blessings

this was a great article nancy,and and even better and more practical reminder... that it is in the every day, nitty gritty, in which our love is tested. i am afraid i fail, all too often. praying for myself in this...

and what a great reminder that it is in yielding, surrendering, that we find joy, and not in getting our own way...

but it is a struggle!

Great article Nancy! I am divorced, learning to love "GOD's" way for the first time in my life! Your article encouraged me with a very special friendship that is evolving with a man in my life. Since we've both been hurt by previous marriages, both wanting to seek God's will, and both of us have asked God to be in the middle of our relationship, your article reminds me that LOVE and LOVING, yes, even in the little things. That's what God wants ALL of us to learn, while letting go of our preconceived ideas and messages we've learned to tell ourselves in the past! In closing, the examples you shared to LOVE your husband as it related to decorating reminded me of Proverbs 31. Her husband was blessed by his wife (a P31 woman) who HONORED HIM (her husband.) Thankx for raising the bar for ALL of us as we strive to learn to LOVE and become EVERYTHING God wants us to be!

I always imagined I would marry someone who wouldn't care much and let me do what pleased me around the house. Instead God blessed me with an amazing husband who is genuinely interested and concerned for making our house a place that is clean, comfortable, welcoming and lovely to be in. Nancy, your message is a reminder to me of all that I am learning in my marriage about the joy of 'little loving', allowing every decision, every act and word bring us closer to each other and closer to God. Thanks for sharing!

This is a wonderful article... Although I am a single woman - never been married... I like to read articles like this and learn what it really takes to make a marriage work on a daily basis... It's very practical and I intend to start practising with my family and friends before God sends a wonderful, loving, God-fearing and handsome man my way! Thanks for sharing...

Thanks a lot Nancy, for making me a change person.

I'm just starting off my married life and it's good to know that I'll not always be agreeing with my hubby on everything. I've found the information to be very insightful given that I look forward to many years with my new hubby.

Be blessed!

Thank you for reaffirming what I am learning at this point in my marriage. My husband and I bought and moved into a new condo 2 yrs ago. His tastes are rustic, outdoorsy, mounted dead animals and fishing lores. I am more traditional, tidy and like things clean looking and yet colorful and tasteful. Two complete opposites. He recently protested that nothing in the house made him feel like it was his also. I felt badly and after much prayer I have given in to re doing a room with "his things" in it. The "MAN" room if you will. Big leather rocker recliner, rustic table, wildlife pictures, and various treasures from our barn that he loves. I even relented to a mounted set of antlers...not the whole head...I still have my sense of style. It is going to be a surprise for his birthday coming soon. I think he will be very happy about it and it may have saved many years of arguments or bad feelings. After all, marriage is about giving and treasuring our spouses as God treasurers us!
Thank you for sharing your story!!
Rose from PA

I have not yet started my marriage life but am so particular w ith colors. I have learnt alot from the article. Thank you for sharing and God bless you.

Re-arranging the garage my husband wanted to hang cross country skis & tennis rackets criscrossed on the wall! Ugh, I thought, so 70's. I wanted to discourage him. I felt it would bother me everytime I drove in to park--such tacky decorating, and did it even make sense? But then I considered the cost of complaining against his potential for joy in figuring out how to get them to crisscross and stay on the wall, his fun in putting his mark on the garage, his pride at accomplishing his little project...and I recalled this was probably the only area of the house he would be decorating, so I just smiled and let him carry on.

Now that its up, I'm gonna try to ignore this fancy artwork, even if it is directly in front of where I park my car every day.

We just married last year. We have already had to work out a few decorating issues. I was so disappointed not to have a black and white swirl bedroom with red accents. (We ended up with powder blue and brown - before it was all the rage).

This makes me wonder...is this what I have to look forward to???

:D