:: Photo - MrGordon –> aka –> Cognitive.Evolution ::

“Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.”
— Terry Pratchett

:: Taxes! via Email {Thanks Chloe!) ::

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I’ve been slacking hardcore on posting lately, sorry. There are several reasons for this. A. Finals B. Moving C. Starting at Google D. Not having internet access except for at work and keeping my work computer habits 99% relevant to my job. whoa!

Regular blogging should return soon, expect a day in which i make like 10 posts soon.

:: Hilarious via Email {thanks Chloe!} ::

I am macabre.

This mixes interestingly with my fascination with waste.

It also reminds me of the story told to me by my friend, who heard it from his ex-girlfriend, who heard it from her friend, whose friend the story describes: guy plunges into hole in a construction site, only to be trapped in there alive and is killed when construction crews unknowingly drill through his body with an industrial auger hours later. Once you hear that, you can’t un-know its horrible gruesomeness. I’m also still looking for the DailyRotten.com link to it, as it seems like it should exist.

Gurning: Competitive Face Making dating back to the 13th Century.

::: Seriously! via NYTimes :::

There is life after your 20s…
Chill…

::: Seriously via Cafe Pergolesi :::

Here’s to the crazy ones.

The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.

They’re not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo.

You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.

About the only thing that you can’t do is ignore them.

Because they change things.

They invent. They imagine. They heal.
They explore. They create. They inspire.

They push the human race forward.

Maybe they have to be crazy.

How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?

Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?

Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

We make tools for these kinds of people.

While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.

Because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.

This is from an okay article in salon (a surprisingly common occurence), I think it would be easier to just let the empire subside. I am at least reasonably happy that waterboarding is no longer considered reasonable. Long time readers of voodoo knickers will recall that I’ve been railing against that and strappado for years. although not like i can really claim “i told you so” props for hating on torture techniques….

Delicious News: I’ll be working at Google over the summer doing usability stuff. I can’t tell you what unless you sign a Non Disclosure Agreement. Benefits: Interesting and gainful employment, brilliant people to have memorable conversations with, lots of good food.

::: Big Times to Ian for the Hook Up =) :::

There are times when we can feel destiny close around us like a fist around a doorknob. Sure, we can resist. But a knob that won’t turn, a door that sticks and never budges, is a nuisance to the gods. The gods may kick in the jamb. Worse, they may walk away in disgust, leaving us to hang dumbly from our tight hinges, deprived of any other chance in life to swing open into unnecessary risk and thus into enchantment.
~ Tom Robbins

So, I was supposed to be home in Denver right now…The land of heat and running water. Argentina during the winter is experiencing a nice run without either. I was really looking forward to going home…

But, it seems that things will be delayed, as I am stuck in Miami until 5:30 EST. Here’s what happened:

My flight was supposed to leave at 10 pm last night; however, due to some bullshit about Argentina being perhaps the most inept country institutionally, we didn’t leave until after 11 pm. This means that I miss my connecting flight in Miami, which left at 8 am. United Airlines offered to book me on their next flight, at 5 pm. I asked if there was an earlier option. They said yes, but not with United, and to book with a different airline company, I would have to ask LAN to book the flight, because that is who I originally booked my ticket with. United says that if I hurry theres a flight that leaves for Dallas and connects to Denver, and I’d be home by 1:30.

The LAN office is like a mile away. Seriously, this airport is fucking huge. So, I drag all my luggage down to the LAN side of the airport, and at some point, I lose my paper ticket (because LAN does not believe in issuing e-tickets for people who live in Colorado). I get to the LAN side of the airtport, discover I lost my ticket, freak out, and run off to go find it. Before I leave, I frantically explain what is going on.

I see a janitor around the area where I decided to put my ticket in my pocket. He speaks no English, and thankfully I now speak Spanish. He tells me that someone found it and they were taking it to the United office. Ugh. I go to the LAN office, to explain that Im going to the other side of the airport to get my tickets (again). They insist I take my luggage with me.

I “run” (aka walk slowly pulling a cart that weighs over 40 kilos) over to United; they have the ticket. I “run” back to LAN….And the OFFICE IS FUCKING CLOSED. I check the ticket counter…No one there. I flip out. I call LAN’s toll free number, and talk to someone who puts me on hold for like 20 minutes. She says that I’ll have to talk to someone at the airport, but no one is answering the phones in Miami. I start crying. She assures me that there is a flight soon, so the LAN staff should be there at the ticket counter. I hang up. And shes WRONG. The counters are empty. And of course, by now, I’ve missed the 9:30 flight.

I walk by TSA, and one of the guys starts talking to me, and I start crying and I told him I missed my “fucking flight” and he says to “calm down.” But he does go knock on the door of LAN. Of course, no one’s there. I call LAN again, and Im hold for 30 min. I use two different pay phones, and because one is taking forever, I actually call someone to make a reservation, because I need to talk to someone. That woman was thoroughly unhelpful, and said that because I had a paper ticket there was nothing she could do. LIKE IT WAS MY CHOICE.

I wait outside the door where Im told the LAN people go. I start speaking to all the cleaning people, who all speak Spanish. A man comes out and motions for me to come over, and he goes over to the door, and tells someone behind the door something. He assures me that someone will help me. Of course, I dont trust him because LAN has been far from helpful, but I suck it up because these people control where Im going and when.

I wait and wait. A girl walks out, sees me, and turns around and goes back inside. She comes out a few minutes later and asks for my passport and tickets. Its probably 10:30, and Im hungry and tired and crying and wish death upon everyone who has ever associated with LAN as a company. She takes me passport and shit, and I wait again. Seriously, something like 25 minutes later, a guy comes out and tells me that the “only” option is a flight at 5:30. I start crying. I tell him there was a flight at 9:30, but they closed the office, even though they knew that I was coming back. He sort of shrugs. I want to punch him in the face. I say that the people at United told me there was a flight at 1-ish from Ft. Lauderdale, and the least they could do is book that flight for me and take me over there (Ft. Lauderdale is about an hour away). He says they can’t do that. He says that if they could help me more, they absolutely would.

Which is clearly, total bullshit.

So, it’s 11:43, and I fucking hate LAN. And I dont actually know at what time Im supposed to be home. And I advise anyone going to Argentina to skip the hassle of using the national company.