David Shuster, how I love him
'Cause he read my poll on the TV
Now I'm famous 'cause I've been on MSNBC

David Shuster, how I heart him
With those steely eyes and teeth so white
I could make up endless polls for him both day and night

It was a crap poll, and the choices were lame
But David didn’t care, and read them on the air

Now I'm someone, and I owe it to him
But he still can't pronounce "Kos" (though sometimes he comes close)

So David Shuster...
You rule the roost, sir
of the tra-dish-uhn-al media
You're my onscreen wikipedia
Now plug my new poll!

David Shuster (doobie woobie)
My poll booster (doobie woobie)

Obama and Sec. of State Hillary Clinton (Scorpio): "Career match-ups are not favorable here, since the kinds of relaxed attitudes that are typical between these two rarely bring people forward in the professional and business worlds. Leo-Scorpio partners interested in making a success of their endeavors will have to push themselves a bit more."

Obama and Sec. of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano & Sec. of Commerce Bill Richardson & VP Joe Biden (Sagittarius): Working relationships between these two are seldom successful except at the highest executive levels, where innovation may be most appreciated.

Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder (Aquarius): Work relationships between these partners can work out in the short term, but will rarely succeed in establishing a lasting financial or ideological basis. Enterprises involving media, public relations, publishing and the arts are particularly favored here. In the long run, Aquarius business partners may demand too much attention for Leo's taste, and may have too little psychological understanding of their colleague to keep him or her happy.

Obama and Sec. of Defense Bob Gates (Libra): As boss-employee pairs or co-workers in a team effort, Libras are likely to give direction and purpose to projects that feature the near boundless energy of Leo. Efficiency and planning will figure prominently in such efforts, for these two tend to be well prepared when they go into battle.

Obama and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner (Uh oh...another Leo): Co-worker match-ups between two Leos are strong, dependable and therefore of great value to the company of which they form a part. Occasional battles are inevitable between them, however, with Leo fur flying in all directions. Little if any quarter is generally given in such combat; nor is it advisable to come between Leo adversaries---they must be left to settle things alone, whether physically or verbally.

[L]et's just say this as Barack Obama introduces his national security team and people huff and puff about whether they're hawks or not progressive enough or problem children or disappointing or what the fuck ever: Ultimately, the cabinet does the bidding of the president. Sure, they offer ideas and guide the departments. But they are policy implementers. Nothing less and nothing more. You have to be willing to go along with the boss to do the job, or you don't take it. And it's all a political game. If we know anything at all about Barack Obama, it's that he's one crafty motherfucker in the realm of politics.

If you wanted to, say, change the course of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and our strategic relationships around the globe, who's gonna do it without pissing people off? Secretary of Defense Dennis Kucinich? Fuck no. You get the guys and gals who were proponents of the war in at least some way or have cozy goddamn Capitol Hill relationships. If the great and glorious David Petraeus and the shiny Robert Gates are saying, "Bring the troops home," then you've defused your enemies. It ain't Clintonian triangulation, which involved embracing a watered-down version of your opponents' beliefs. It's just fuckin' smart. The same goes for economic policy and it will go for domestic.

Yeah, if Obama lets his hawks run the place and make him break his promises, then we can squawk. But for now, can we just take a breath and see how it all works out?

Cheers and Jeers: How long have you been blogging and what brought you to Daily Kos?
Nyceve: A long time, my User ID is 21195. I don't know exactly where that places me---maybe 2003 or 2004, but I'm an old-timer. I remember how I found Daily Kos, and I didn't lurk for ages, like some do, then register. I just registered. I read about Daily Kos in an article on the New York Times, this was during the early days of the Bush regime. I thought to myself, this sounds like a place I might find some equally horrified kindred spirits. So I ran up to my computer, (it was such a transformative moment in my life,  that I remember I was at my mother's house in Los Angeles), I turned on my computer, typed in "www.dailykos.com." got here and registered.

By the way, I made a fool of myself in some of those early diaries. This was in the days before we could save drafts.  And for those new people, in those early days, we could post two diaries a day.

Where were you when the networks called the race for Barack Obama and how did you react?
I'll never forget. I went to my dear friend's home for dinner on Election night. She lives on the East Side of Manhattan and I live on the West Side. She had taken me as her guest to the 1992 Convention when Bill Clinton was nominated and we wanted to spend this historic night together. A little before 11, we all got tired and she had an early appointment the next morning so I decided to go home.  I was on the 66th Street crosstown bus in NYC and my phone rang, it was my sister she screamed,"we won!"  The bus was about half filled, I yelled out, "Oh my God we won!"  The whole bus started applauding and screaming. I went over to the bus driver who happened to be African American, there were tears streaming down his face. He looked at me and said, "Praise the Lord." I said, "Amen".

When did you first become focused on health care and why?
This is an easy one. It was early November, 2005. I came home from my office and had a letter from my insurance company. I went to my apartment and opened it---the bastards had canceled my insurance! I didn't know what to do. I was scared. I called my Democratic New York State assemblyman, who I had never in my life bothered for anything (he also happens to be the Chairman of the New York State Assembly Health Committee), and his office was essentially worthless. They couldn't help me. So in desperation I wrote a diary called, "My Health Insurance was Cancelled." About a week later I wrote another diary called, "Finding Insurance has Become My Full Time Job." The rest, as they say, is history. The bastards picked the wrong person to f*ck with.

Truthfully, I'm obsessed with this catastrophe. I'm a fairly logical person, and there is no nuance in this for me. Healthcare must be a right for every last one of us, not a privilege. Being able to afford to pay for health insurance has nothing in the world to do with the concept of delivering affordable and guaranteed cradle-to-grave healthcare to all Americans. No one should ever fear financial ruin due to an illness or accident. Period. No nuance. Let's just do it, and do it correctly.

On a scale of one to ten, how hopeful are you that significant changes will be made to our health care system during the Obama administration?
I'm very optimistic. I'm inclined to go with a 10, but I need a little wiggle room, so I'll say a 9.2. I've said many times, the U.S. political system was designed to respond to crisis. We have more than a crisis today, we have a catastrophe---it's now or never. But sadly, it won't be single payer healthcare on day one. I do believe we'll get to single payer, which is the gold standard for an advanced industrialized nation, such as ours, but it will take some time. The insurance industry is still too strong and throws too much money at politicians. I hope that President Obama really presses for a well funded public alternative which will compete with the for-profits. I also hope the playing field will be level---we can't put all the sick people in the public option. The for-profits must be required to take everyone. Let's see some real competition between the for-profits and a Medicare alternative. I think if President Obama establishes some inviolate ground rules, we will drain the life and the profits out of the for-profits. This would be ideal.

On a scale of one to ten, how cool is it to be able to say, "The Obama administration?"
It's a 20. We did our country proud. I think in a very profound sense, Mr. Bush gave us the courage as a nation to put aside any lingering racial issues and vote for Barack Obama. The corruption, incompetence, and catastrophic mismanagement of everything Bush and Co. touched, paved the way for President Obama. I'm able to sleep again.

It's hard to articulate how unmoored I felt as an American citizen these last eight years. I lived through Reagan, Nixon, etc. Nothing approached  the horror of thinking this was no longer my country. Trying to pick a low point from 2000 to now, is almost impossible---there were so many.  But I will say the images of Katrina are haunting and etched on my brain.

What kind of music makes you feel invincible to the GOP horde?
I'm very patriotic so I'd say the National Anthem. I also love Woody Guthrie's This Land is My Land, Bob Dylan Blowin in the Wind, John Lennon singing Imagine, Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven and Louis Armstrong, What a Wonderful World.

Why hasn’t there been more of a push by private employers to turn the health insurance system over to the government?
I think it's finally happening before our eyes. We're losing our competitiveness. Healthcare costs are unsustainable---employers are shifting healthcare costs onto the shoulders of already heavily cash-strapped workers. The only way employers are able to continue providing benefits is to increase deductibles, co-pays, etc. So we all have what amounts to junk insurance---insurance in name only. Americans are delaying medical treatment because they know that even if they have so-called "insurance", they could be left with huge bills, so they don't get care. And these are people with insurance! The effects of  policy makers ignoring the healthcare crisis for so long are finally coming home to roost in a big and ugly way.

What's the one book every Kossack must read?
I'd say anything by Frances Fox Piven and Richard A. Cloward.

Finish this sentence: In the kitchen I make a mean...
I'm going to give you a long list because I like to cook. Brisket, lasagna, grilled salmon, French Toast with Challah, an old Jewish recipe--egg noodles and cottage cheese, tuna salad, pesto sauce, chocolate Mousse (out of this world), lentils and brown rice, fettucine with ripe, raw tomatoes, basil, capers and calamata olives, with a little grated Pecorino Romano. I would say turkey but after seeing the Palin slaughter, I'll never eat or cook turkey again. Moving along, I'm a pasta addict and my best friend is Italian and he says for a Jewish girl I make one insanely delicious bowl of perfectly al dente spaghetti. I also love tofu and I've just done a new recipe with fresh chopped garlic, ginger, sesame oil,  scallions, low sodium soy sauce and a dash of seasoned Japanese vinegar.

Tom Daschle has been nominated to be Secretary of Health and Human Services. Good choice?
Better than Mr. Leavitt. Truthfully, Daschle is committed to reform...now we have to be sure the Obama Administration delivers something big, bold and what's in the best interests of the American people, not the insurance industry.

No waffling here: dogs or cats?
Both. Love 'em all. Grew up in a not huge, but not tiny New York City apartment with three cats, a large collie, black lab mix, two parakeets and three turtles. This is true.

I have one question left, but it's time for me to go over and massage Old Man McGillicutty's goiter. Please ask and answer the final question yourself...

Will healthcare reform include dental care?
It better. Last time I was at a dentist I was charged $650.00 for a filling. One filling! Then I had to pay extra for the sedation gas. If this isn't the definition of catastrophe, then I don't know what is.

"I am going to destroy you.

Huckabee, I mean you. Romney, you, too also. Jindal and Pawlenty, you pencil-neck lightweights, get on your knees and beg for mercy. Yeah, Newt, I'm lookin' at you, too, also---if you value your wattle you'll go back into hiding. And Rudy: don’t even think about runnin' again also---just don't. That goes for all 'o ya! Because I can see ya from my house and I know where to find ya.

You see those turkeys behind me? That's you, guys, if you dare to challenge me in 2012. That election is mine, you hear? Mine! You betcha, also."

Cheers and Jeers: How long have you been blogging and what brought you to Daily Kos?
Jeffrey Feldman: Late 2004 I was writing 5 LTEs per day---caught in a permanent state of derangement because of the media. Then I saw a brief TV spot that mentioned Daily Kos and thought, Hey! A website that's all LT and no E---perfect!

Where were you when the networks called the race for Barack Obama and how did you react?
I was three sheets to the wind by that point---we popped corks when they called Ohio and I was trying to juggle booze, pizza and large pink rabbits while liveblogging for Huffington Post. When Blitzer called it at 11:01pm, I jumped up and hugged my wife, which turned out to be a lamp.

You have a Ph.D. in cultural anthropology. How would you describe cultural anthropology in terms that someone like, say, Sarah Palin could understand?
The Cultural Anthropology is a game where great U.S. Americans like Joe the Plumber stand on their porches and watch witches in other countries shop at Neiman's.

What kind of music makes you feel invincible to the GOP horde?
Eddie Vedder could floss his teeth and the sound would make me feel invincible to the GOP horde.

What is your favorite presidential speech of all time? What would be the runner up?
Dubya's 2003 'Yellow Cake' SOTU is my favorite, even though I'm really a chocolate cake guy (unless there's pumpkin pie, in which case, I'll have that). I also love Lincoln's Gettysburg Address because I once saw a copy of it written on a grain of rice.

What's the one book every Kossack must read?
Books are for elitists--write them, burn them, but never, under any circumstances read them. Movies! The court scene in the Coen Brother's Intolerable Cruelty is the best writing of the past 100 years.

You're the curator of the popular Frameshop blog at frameshopisopenn.com. What grade would you give the Obama and McCain campaigns for their framing prowess during the 2008 presidential campaign?
McCain gets an A+++ for reframing the GOP as "We stabbed it with a stake, but OMG it's still alive!" The Obama campaign---losers. They get a "See me after class...and bring your mom." But they did successfully reframe Will.i.am as Yoda by beaming him to CNN from the Jedi Temple to talk with Anakin Cooper.

Finish this sentence: In the kitchen I make a mean...
...dirty dish badass clean, but I do it without a dishwasher because our co-op won't allow them. And fried eggs.

You’re the author of two books, Framing the Debate and Outright Barbarous. Do you have a routine when you write, and how do you deal with writer's block?
My routine involves fretting and procrastinating and annoying my wife for 6 months, until she threatens to beat me senseless with a blunt object---at which point I make coffee, take out my crayons, and start "writing."

No waffling here: dogs or cats?
Cats, then waffles.

I have one question left, but President-elect Obama needs me to help him decide on a PIN for the nuclear launch codes. What, like Sasha and Malia are too busy to do it? Please ask and answer the final question yourself...

What's your perfect Sunday?
January 18, 2009.

"A new study says that unhappy people watch more TV. I just want to say, Helllllooo, Republicans!"
---Jay Leno
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"It was so cold today, I was shaking like Sarah Palin taking a geography test."
---David Letterman
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"Yesterday in Georgia, John McCain was campaigning for a Republican congressman who is facing a runoff election. You can tell McCain is a little bitter about his defeat because instead of saying 'My friends,' he now says, 'My ungrateful bastards.'"
---Conan O'Brien
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"Barack Obama met with Hillary Clinton on Friday to see if she would be interested in a role in his administration. 'Of course,' said Hillary. 'I'll take president.'"
---Seth Meyers
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"I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say things are not going well for the Republicans. Two years ago they controlled both the White House and the Congress. Soon they'll be controlling both the Coke machine and the fry station."
---Stephen Colbert

Fox News announcer: Vice President Dick Cheney and former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales have been indicted. The South Texas indictment says there's a---quote---"money trail" of Cheney's prison-related businesses.

Jon Stewart: Dick Cheney has prison-related business. Is there any unpleasant aspect of our society that Dick Cheney isn’t making money off of?

Support for the LGBT Community---The Obama-Biden Plan:

Expand Hate Crimes Statutes
Fight Workplace Discrimination
Support Full Civil Unions and Federal Rights for LGBT Couples
Oppose a Constitutional Ban on Same-Sex Marriage
Repeal Don't Ask-Don't Tell
Expand Adoption Rights
Promote AIDS Prevention
Empower Women to Prevent HIV/AIDS

More than 100 retired generals and admirals called Monday for repeal of the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy on gays so they can serve openly, according to a statement obtained by The Associated Press.

The list of 104 former officers who signed the statement appears to signal growing support for resolving the status of gays in the military. Last year, 28 former generals and admirals signed a similar statement. ... The officers' statement points to data showing there are about 1 million gay and lesbian veterans in the United States, and about 65,000 gays and lesbians currently serving in the military.

Projected amount that same-sex weddings would add to California's economy during the next three years (well, if the Mormons hadn’t screwed it up): $684 million

Average percentage change in median home values when the proportion of same-sex couples nearby goes up by 1 percent: +9%

Fortune 500 companies with written anti-discrimination policies protecting GLBT employees in 2003: 323
In 2008: 471
(Equality Forum)

Online dating service eHarmony has agreed to create a new website for gays and lesbians as part of a settlement with a gay man in New Jersey, the New Jersey Office of the Attorney General said on Wednesday. The website will provide a dating service with "male seeking a male" or "female seeking a female" options, the Attorney General's office said in a statement. ... eHarmony was founded in 2000 by evangelical Christian Dr. Neil Clark Warren and had ties with the influential religious conservative group Focus on the Family.

Yesterday I got stopped for speeding. I told the cop he was a terrorist sympathizer who wants America to fail. He let me off with a warning. I complained. He took back the warning and let me go after giving me his handcuffs as a gift.

Yesterday my neighbor loaned me his leafblower. When I was done with it he asked for it back. I told him to go screw himself. He said I could keep the leafblower forever and apologized for bothering me.

Yesterday I told a friend I'd pick her up after her outpatient surgery and drive her home, but I blew her off so I could go see a movie. Afterward I called her up to tell her how great it was. She laughed and said the walk home wasn't too bad because only one of her feet was operated on and besides it was only ten miles and she had a cane.

Yesterday my landlord stopped by to fix the basement door. I poured hot coffee down his pants. He screamed. I expressed regret. He lowered the rent.

Yesterday I appeared at the trial of my uncle to defend him as a character witness against false charges of pedophilia. I decided instead to tell the jury that, yeah, he probably was a pedophile because sometimes he gets that look in his eye. As he was led off to jail to begin his 20-year sentence, he waved and said I could have his Ferrari.

Cheers and Jeers: How long have you been blogging and what brought you to Daily Kos?
Teacherken: I started on educational listservs and bulletin boards about a decade back. During 2003 I was posting on Dean's Blog for America. The weekend after Thanksgiving that year I was in New Hampshire on Dean’s behalf and someone introduced me to Daily Kos, which fascinated me with the mix of the political and the personal, and the interactive nature of the virtual community. I began reading, posting comments, and posted my first diary in January of 2004.

Where were you when the networks called the race for Barack Obama and how did you react?
I was at National Democratic Club in Washington DC, with my wife and a lot of Democratic activists. The actual call at 11 was somewhat anticlimactic, because there was no doubt in my mind that Obama would win, the only question was the size of the victory.  And when Pennsylvania was called as soon as it closed, we all knew. Still, when it was "official" we were all exuberant, and we all celebrated with a glass of champagne.

What must one do to receive detention from teacherken?
Why should I be punished by the misbehavior of a student? I don’t hold detention. A student has to be deliberately disruptive for me to have her removed from my class by the administration and put in in-school suspension or sent home, and that it is an admission on my part that I have not been able to reach that student. Since often students misbehave because they don’t understand the work and are embarrassed to admit it, I am likely to have the student come to me for extra help---thus it is supportive, not punitive, which is how I would view detention.

What kind of music makes you feel invincible to the GOP horde...a horde, we would note, that now consists of Sarah Palin, Karl Rove and a plumber?
I like a broad range of genres of music. I was trained as a classical musician (piano, cello and singing), have made money doing rock, folk, cocktail, and have conducted a capella church choirs. Depending upon my mood, it could be Anne Murray, Willie Nelson, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Chanticleer, Sviatislav Richter playing Brahms, Andras Schiff playing Bach or Schubert. I suppose if I really wanted to feel invincible, it would be listening to the final three piano sonatas by Beethoven, Opus 109, Opus 110, and Opus 111.

If you had the president's ear, who would you demand he nominate for Education Secretary before you gave it back?
I know that some of the names I am hearing I would strongly oppose---Arne Duncan from Chicago, Joel Klein from New York, Roy Romer from LA. I shudder to think what they might mean for the future of public education. But the issue is less the "who" than it is the vision---what is the purpose of our public school system? And how willing are we to radically reexamine how we do schooling in order to achieve meaningful education for all of our students? Professor Linda Darling-Hammond of Stanford is a favorite of many in the educational community. Two former state commissioners, Doug Christensen of Nebraska---who was on a panel at Yearly Kos in Chicago---and Peter McWalters of Rhode Island both have demonstrated that it is possible to have high levels of achievement without reducing everything to tests. I would hope that whoever is in charge, that we move away from our obsession with testing and refocus on the learning needs of the individual students.

What's the one book every Kossack must read?
I am going to suggest a book about teaching. It is called The Courage to Teach by Parker Palmer. It won’t take you that long, and Palmer is a very clear writer. Hopefully it will stretch your mind about the nature of the educational process, and what teaching really involves.

What tips do you have for Kossacks who really really really really really want to make it on the Recommended Diaries list?
Change your name to Jerome a Paris or nyceve?

Finish this sentence: In the kitchen I make a mean...
Pile of dirty pots and pans? I do pretty well with an orange beef, and my wife loves my gazpacho. Rarely have time to cook during the school year.

As a Quaker, what's been your reaction to the way the Bush administration has blurred the line between church and state? Do you think Obama will make that line more distinct again?
I would quibble a bit. First, my reaction is independent of my being a Quaker. Second, I have no problem with religion having a role in the public square---after all, it was religious people advocating for Civil Rights and before that for Abolition. I see the Bush administration manipulating religion for political purposes, and the blurring to which the question refers is thus more a political stratagem than an explicit theological position. As for Obama, I think he will attempt to affirm the role religions plays in the lives of individuals, and how it shapes their responses. He will certainly acknowledge that people can have a moral basis independent of religious belief or affiliation. And as a former professor of Constitutional Law, I expect he will insist upon his administration maintaining both prongs of religious freedom, no establishment and free expression. And I would also suspect that this area would be of interest in considering appointments to the Supreme and other Federal Courts.

No waffling here: dogs or cats?
By background and preference I am a dog person. When I was six months old my sister was given a six-week old black cocker spaniel, and Charcoal and I shared everything.  Since then my orientation has been more canine than feline. If how I live and work allowed, what I really want is a large black Newfoundland---and Leaves on the Current (spouse) rightly notes that the relative proportion of a Newf to my current size is an attempt to return to those halcyon days of my early childhood.  I did for more than a decade have a brilliant and wonderful Sheltie named Elspeth. Until I give up teaching, however, I am away from home for too many hours to be fair to a dog.

I have become somewhat bispecial---and we are delighted with our five rescued felines, who are the true owners of our household.  

I have one question left, but I have to go tutor Sarah Palin on the difference between a country and a continent. Please ask and answer the final question yourself...

Name one person from American History with whom you would like to have dinner, and explain why.
I go back and forth on this, but I think nowadays it would be Bobby Kennedy, because he grew so much as a person during his adulthood. He started in public life as a staffer to Joe McCarthy, and yet at the end of his life he had become a healer, as we can see in the remarks he made in Indianapolis, informing the crowd of King’s assassination. He was transformed by tragedy, and turned into something special, something that gave hope to many until his own tragic death. It was a sense of hope, of change, illustrated by the changes in his own life. I’d like to learn from that.

Gee it’s been great, but if I don’t get the papers graded and returned to my students, perhaps they will give me detention?

Peace.

Our friends at the Democratic National Committee laid it all on the line to bring change this year. The DNC's 50-state field strategy was crucial to our campaign's success, as well as victories for Democrats up and down the ballot. Their organizing infrastructure allowed us to compete---and win---in states that seemed insurmountable just four years ago.

They took out substantial loans to make it happen. The DNC didn't hold back, and now, neither can we. You were there for this campaign when we needed to reach out to more voters and compete in more states. Now we're relying on grassroots supporters like you to come through for this movement once again. We'll get to work transforming this country. But first, we need to take care of the DNC.

"WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS...what in the world so many Democrats are doing supporting the President's unilateral intervention in Iraq!

What I want to know is why the Democrats in Congress aren't standing up for us, joining every other industrialized country on the face of the Earth in providing health insurance for every man, woman and child in America.

What I want to know is why so many folks in Congress are voting for the President's Education Bill---The "No School Board Left Standing Bill"---the largest unfunded mandate in the history of our educational system.

As Paul Wellstone said---as Sheila Kuehl said when she endorsed me---I am Howard Dean, and I'm here to represent the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party! ...

We are not going to beat George Bush by voting with the President 85 percent of the time. The only way that we're going to beat George Bush is to say what we mean, to stand up for who we are, [and] to lift up a Democratic agenda against the Republican agenda. Because if you do that, the Democratic agenda wins every time.

Conservative radio hosts accuse Dems of "trying to steal" MN Senate election---but there's no evidence, according to GOP governor
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Women, minorities, autistic children: Conservative radio's vitriol not reserved for Obama
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Hannity, Limbaugh promote myth of an "Obama recession"
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Liddy: Obama concentration camp will serve "ham hocks and turnip greens"
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Politico advances GOP's communist smear against MN secretary of state
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O'Reilly falsely accused ACLU of remaining silent on government check of Wurzelbacher's records
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Cunningham alleged that "Obama wants to gas the Jews"
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Hasselbeck, Shepherd suggest clergy could have been jailed without Prop 8
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Quinn: "Gay sex produces AIDS"; "They should charge homosexuals more for their ... health insurance"
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Savage asked why Obama visited grandmother "who suddenly and suspiciously died virtually the night before the election"

The Supreme Court needs to intervene in the 2008 post-election process. As in, Chief Justice John Roberts needs to march into the Oval Office this afternoon with Barack Obama and a Bible in tow, and say to George Bush: "Out!"

A good way for Sarah Palin to learn the countries in NAFTA would be flash cards.

The thing I'll miss most about the campaign season is watching Joe Lieberman and Lindsay Graham standing behind John McCain, nervously waiting to swoop in and correct him when he screws up. I've never seen senators hold their breath so long.

Prediction: To revive his political career, Jeb Bush will change his last name to McGillicutty.

Democrats need a majority of 60 seats in the Senate to pass their progressive agenda, but Republicans didn't need 60 seats in the Senate to pass their conservative agenda.

Darth Vader says we don’t know the power of the dark side. After the last eight years I think we kinda do.

I'm not really interested in John McCain's medical records anymore.

Whatever kind of dog Sasha and Malia get, they shouldn’t feed it too much or it'll get fat and die of some kind of thrombosis.

Ralph Nader hasn't returned the fifty dollars worth of Aquaman boxers his handlers bought for him during the campaign.

If the youth vote is so important, how come they weren't represented on any panels during the election coverage? Because the adults didn’t want to be upstaged, that's why.

I say we turn the country back over to the Native Americans. They never trashed the place. In fact, they kinda respected it.

A good way for Sarah Palin to learn about Africa would be listening to President Bush, who once said: "We spent a lot of time talkin' about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." Learnin's fun!

One of the first things Barack Obama should do is appoint a task force to find out where Dick Cheney hid the Bill of Rights. Unfortunately, this may involve a vice-presidential full body cavity search.

51 percent voted before election day, 48 percent voted on election day. (21,292)
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43 percent think the Obamas should get a mutt, while 20 percent say they should get a retriever. (25,778)
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Will Sarah Palin become a prominent leader in the Republican party? 34 percent say definitely or probably. 62 percent don’t think so. (28,793)
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In terms of robocalls, 28 percent received a few or a lot, and 64 percent received none. (16,385)
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Out of GA, ND, IN, VA, MO, NV, WV and NC, 32 percent wanted Obama to win Georgia purely for bragging rights. North Carolina and Virginia tied for second with 14 percent each.  Hey, two outta three ain't bad. (31,247)
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In the battle of nighttime TV hosts, 57 percent would prefer to watch Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert back to back, versus 37 percent who'd rather watch Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow. (14,783)
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As the Large Hadron Collider went online in Switzerland, 41 percent said it would lead to a greater understanding of how our universe was formed. 14 percent thought it would lead to an entire population of super-magnetic Swiss people. (7,577)
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And of the 10 percent who have eaten a mooseburger, 90 percent thought it t'wer pretty tasty, thank ya. (13,117)