What's your weirdest not-so-dirty little secret?

I was watching a commercial last night for the iphone. After I mopped the puddle of drool off the couch with a Sham-wow... the reality of my not-so-dirty little secret began to ring through my mind like the beating of the tell-tale heart.

If Poe has taught me anything it's... OK I'm not sure if Poe's taught me anything. But here's my weirdest not-so-dirty little secret:

I've never had a cell phone.

It's true. I think it's a combination of not being able to afford one when we got married a decade ago, and then realizing that everyone else has one if we ever really NEEDED one. Weird eh?

So there. My question is...

What's YOUR not-so-dirty little secret?
Do tell

A flavorful stew of the semi-interesting and somewhat offensive

Let's play a game... I've got a flavorful stew of the semi-interesting and somewhat offensive things that have piqued my interest lately. I challenge you to give me your thoughts on each point using 3 words or less... OK? And go.

1. Anne Jackson from FlowerDust.net and her church called Crosspoint in Nashville have been blogging their way through a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. A few days ago she posed a question that I have asked each time I've left North America...


2. Did you realize that at the time John Lennon made the "bigger than Jesus" quote... he thought of the Beatles as a Christian band? (Whole story here)

“It’s just an expression meaning the Beatles seem to me to have more influence over youth than Christ,” he says. “Now I wasn’t saying that was a good idea, ‘cos I’m one of Christ’s biggest fans. And if I can turn the focus on the Beatles on to Christ’s message, then that’s what we’re here to do.”

3. This is a quote from Jack Nicklaus at the British open about the differences in life for him as a golfer and the way it is today.

"When we played golf, it wasn't to make a living," Nicklaus said. "It was to make a name for yourself so you could make a living."

4. One more "the state of sports" quote. This is from new (and old) Toronto Blue Jays hitting coach Gene Tenace about his relationship with his wife.

"You know, when I proposed to her, I told her I was going to give her an out. I told her she could have my heart but that baseball would always have my soul. She said she'd take the heart."

5. This is from my sister Jenn's blog written about leaving Liberia. On her way to the airport, her transport was mobbed and jostled by a crowd demanding to have one the passengers thrown to the mob! (whole blog here)

"...deep down, I live with the attitude that 'it will all work itself out'. I guess most people would call this naivety. I have had too many experiences convincing me that it is God.

Because, I am too lucky to be lucky."

6. Amazing story about the 10 most racist toys ever... times MAY have changed a touch.

7. I love hearing where songs come from. Here's the story behind Chris Tomlin's "God of the City" song from Passion's new album. It was written by a band called "Bluetree". The story reminds me of my 3 days on the island of Puerto Galera in the South China Sea.

It was just simply heart breaking seeing young Philippino girl after girl hanging off the arms of old dirty white guys. I kept thinking... "it really wouldn't be THAT hard with a little work to see this whole island saved".

“We got asked to go and be part of an event called Pattaya Praise. Pattaya is a seaside town/resort place, and physically, it looks to be like the darkest place you’ll ever go to. And spiritually, it is THE darkest place we have ever been to. You just feel the evil...

......and we got to play for two hours. And just the way the band set up, we like using loops, and at one point I just started singing out. I started singing “Greater Things”, something along those lines, almost prophesying over the city."

8. SUCH a cool anti racism ad from South Africa (putting the darkey in the Watermelon to shame)

OK... so let's hear some 3 word comments.
Here's mine...

1. God's got plans
2. John wavered lots
3. People are soft
4. That's really dumb
5. My sister's cool
6. Hard to believe
7. Come save Brantford
8. Mandela was amazing

If I knew then what I know now

I heard myself say those words last night. And in typical "Dave fashion", I spent the next 3 waking hours thinking about it. The context of my discussion was about leadership and time. As a 20 year old, I always suspected that the adult life I wanted began at 30. And that's just about how it happened. My teens and 20's annoyed me. I've always wanted to be older than I am. I alway want to have more responsibility than I currently have. Right now, I look at how much influence I should be able to have when I'm 40 and I look forward to that. I'm a freak that way.

But now that I have what I wanted, it also means that I have to less time for the things that I'm beginning to appreciate about life. Like art, books, writing, family, prayer, real church, seeing the world. In fact, I spend more time doing those things today than I did ten years ago... but if I had known how important they were ten years ago, I would have spent more time doing them when I had the time!

I'm not a real big life planner. There are too many twists and turns along to the way for that to make a whole lot of sense. But I also don't have much patience for those who chose to live their lives randomly. You have a certain amount of time in life... and time is currency. You are given only so much to invest... and make no mistake... when you choose to do one thing, you're saying no to others. Either knowingly or unknowingly.

My pastor has a saying,

"Sow where you want to go"

Beautiful rhyme isn't it? He truly is the last of the great white rappers. I believe it's a terrific principle for giving... but also for time. I love watching baseball. But would I ever turn down a meeting to watch baseball. Nope.

I watch people fight battles in their head over how to be a leader. They stand in room with the name tag "leader" on but wonder why nobody reads their sticker. I was lucky that as a 20 year old to have had some wonderful teachers who taught me to be a leader by spending time with me. They encouraged me to go up to teenagers and say, "hey... how are ya?" My pastor, who's ministry I got saved under, was a time-sacrificial dude. Every night his small house was full of his family, teenagers and youth leaders. Playing cards, watching movies, and staying up until 2am talking about God. He CHOSE to invest that time in people with potential to be fruitful. And many are today.

If I knew then what I know now...

I wouldn't have watched so much TV.
I would have realized that time isn't mine.
I would have given more.
I wouldn't wasted energy being angry about old wineskin thinking.
I would have just been the new wineskin.
I would have read more books.
I would have been at peace with my giftings a decade ago.
I would have been kinder to people.
I wouldn't have eaten at so many restaurants.
I would have gotten into the habit of getting up early to pray long ago so it wasn't so hard today.

If you knew then what you know now, what would you do?

What can't you say around Christians?

Anne Jackson has a very cool blog called FlowerDust. She asked a very interesting question yesterday in this post.

"What is something you feel you can’t say in church, or around other Christians?"

Ironic that in a faith that so values honesty, it's excruciatingly difficult to be real with each other.

Here are few of the responses she got:

• "I’d rather look like a good Christian than put in the time and effort to actually be one."
• I currently feel NO connection to God when I pray or read the bible.
• When I say “I’ll pray for you.” I don’t usually mean it. I have been a Christian for 27 years and I still don’t understand the point of praying.
• I like to swear. It makes me feel better.
• Most people I know who claim to follow God are really sucky people who don’t care about anything but themselves and their comfort. It makes me not want to follow their rules.
• I’m a socialist…and I hate the worship industry.
• When I’m leading worship, I sometimes think of all 31 flavors of ice cream at Baskin Robbins.
• “Your 14/15/16/17/18 year old daughter looks like a SLUT in those Abercrombie shirts & jeans. They are too tight & low & her boobs are falling out and her pubic hair is peaking out from the top of her jeans. All the young teenage boys are going crazy and probably older men are lusting after your child - CHILD. Get a Frick’n clue & teach her some modesty or perhaps you yourself are so caught up in the latest fashion that you don’t care if your daughter dresses like a SLUT”
  and no - i’m not an old ugly women that is clueless about life, and yes, this is a good battle to pick.
• …”stop whining about your awful life and DO something about it - kill yourself, I don’t care, I’m tired of listening to you and taking care of you and being a ’supportive Christian friend’” That’s really bad isn’t it? Yeh, it is.
• Stop making Christianity a scapegoat for not developing a personality. Quit being judgmental, flaky, egotistical, mean, rude, fake in the name of a God who was none of those things.
  

Mine?

Mine is... why won't my friend with his cornucopia of physical problems get healed already? I'm tired of praying for him and he's tired of getting prayed for.

There really are a lot things that we don't understand about how our flesh interacts with the Holy. Sometimes, we're flat out in the wrong. Sometimes God's answer is on the way and should contend for it to come. Sometimes our answer is already looking us square in the eye.

But this song from Paul Coleman has been burning in my head

Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour my heart out to a listening ear?
I see this life
Its valley's and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here

I've questioned my reasons
The life I'm living
I've questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I've questioned all the things that I've ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind

But the one thing I don't question is you
You really love me like you say you do

What won't you say around Christians?

So a guy comes up to me and asks, "Can married Christians be "total freaks" in the bedroom?"

I had an excellent MSN chat yesterday with a friend of mine. He's a great guy who does some wonderful work investing in our community and we've developed a pretty good relationship over the last couple of years. He's not a Christian but every now and again we get to have some really cool chats about it.

(He gave me permission to shat our chat BTW)

Dude says:
I've always had a question and never really knew anyone I could ask without sounding bad.. about Christianity..

Dave at Work says:
shoot...I've heard em all

Dude says:
ok, how is sexuality dealt with.. I just can't picture 2 married Christians being total freaks in the bedroom.. I've always been kinda curious about that

Dave at Work says:
really eh? well it's an area that Christians rarely used to speak about

Dude says:
exactly.

Dave at Work says:
I actually talk about sex quite often when i preach... ha
it shocks some people but it's actually totally liberating sexually in marriage... because you know the other person is not gonna leave you so you've got the perfect context for freedom and sexual exploration

Dude says:
interesting...
but come on man, can you honestly tell me when some 19 year old girl in a short jean skirt and boobs hanging out walks past you, there is nothing in your head that says "I'd hit it" (for lack of a better phrase.. ) lol

Dave at Work says:
ha

Dude says:
i mean no disrespect

Dave at Work says:
none taken

Dude says:
but we're guys.. we're human.. you know how guys can talk, i think? lol

Dave at Work says:
yeah it's something that's in there... but I also don't think that it's right to act just on impulses. Ya know? Like I alway say (or at least think) "thump thump" when I drive past a pedestrian
i don't' want to hit them... but some twisted thing in my head says it.

Now I'm not saying that this is true for all Christians. Many are pretty repressed folks (because of a messed up Christian culture for alot of years), but marriage is the best context for sexual freedom because you can delve deeper than the surface impulses.

Dude says:
gotcha
well thanks for answering
I've always been curious

you're the coolest Christian I have met
I'll be the first to admit that I am not a big fan of most Christian's I've met -- no disrespect, but a lot of them seem close minded in some aspects

Dave at Work says:
and MANY are... and it's just as frustrating for me... I'll bet more so
because I'm around them a lot

Dude says:
yeah, i could see that!

There have been people who have posed the question, "are we (the church) answering questions that nobody is asking?". And that's a legit question to ask ourselves. But I think the issue is even a bit deeper.

I think the question is... "are we talking to anyone?" Ha. Are Christians even just being normal people and having real conversations? I'm not sure that even IF WE WERE answering the questions that people were asking... we wouldn't be heard at all! Ha.

Just be normal. Of course Christians have great sex, but there is something that is so anal retentive about the way we handle ourselves that we're (rightfully based on the evidence) thought of as prudes. I don't like being a part of THAT club. God's big, wild and free... THAT'S my God.

And by the way... I'm over-the-moon excited to be a part of a Christian Community that is NOT like that. Freedom House, and the amazing people in it, have taught me something wonderful over the years. I wrote this on the wall in our prayer room.

Church is at 10:30 Sunday. You should come.