Stray Thoughts

For some people, the thought of being hooked up to a machine in order to live is daunting. No, more than daunting…more like being the living dead.

This was the view of my brother’s fiancee when my father was found unconscious in his apartment after suffering what was apparently a small stroke several years ago. She had worked in a nursing home and had seen many people put on a ventilator for the rest of their lives. She felt if he needed a machine to live it was his time to go.

I believe she was wrong, though well-intentioned. Thankfully she was over-ruled.

My father was on a ventilator for about a week. We were called in from out of state, and thankfully he improved. Unfortunately he was taken off the ventilator only the day we had to leave, so we were only able to talk that one day, but we had been able to communicate through notes, eye contact, holding hands.

That last day in the hospital was the last we saw of him. He lived another six months before passing away in his sleep.

Some would say, “Well, the ventilator only bought him six more months. Was it worth it for so short a time?”

Yes, it was. A lot of good things happened in those six months. He lived with his son, who had often lived with him. Their relationship had not always been smooth, and I think it did my brother a world of good to give back to his dad in that way in his last months. My dad was able to attend his son’s wedding. He had lost a leg while in the hospital, but even with his physical limitations, he had an enjoyable final six months.

There are some people who actually live active lives on a ventilator full time for years. One of my heroes, Jim Lubin, has been on a portable ventilator for about ten years, since being diagnosed with transverse myelitis. He began the Transverse Myelitis Internet Club, which has been one of my lifelines since my own diagnosis. He set up and maintains the disABILITY Information and Resources site, a Quad List Discussion Group, a Vent-Users Support Page, the Transverse Myelitis Association’s web site and others, all with a sip-and-puff method of using the computer, which you can see here (Jim is the second man speaking and later demonstrates how he uses the computer):

Some years ago I read a book called Charlie’s Victory by Charlie Wedemeyer, a coach who develops ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s disease. When his disease began to impact his breathing, his wife took him to a hospital, where the doctor told her it was time to let him go. A nurse told her about portable ventilators, and the doctor was actually angry when Mrs. Wedemeyer told him she wanted to try the portable ventilator. But she insisted, and Charlie left the hospital having many more years…in public motivational speaking!

Living on a ventilator would not be anyone’s first choice of lifestyle, of course. But these and many others are proof that being on a ventilator is not living death.

I know there are complicated situations, and I don’t presume to have pat answers to them. Joni Eareckson Tada very ably wrestles with such questions in her book When Is It Right To Die? She discusses there the difference between sustaining life and prolonging death.

But for this particular moment, the main point I want to make is that, if the time comes when someone suggests a ventilator or other machine for yourself or a loved one, don’t immediately dismiss it. Machines can be a great aid to many more enjoyable and productive years.

PhotoHunt

Theme: What IS that?| Become a Photo Hunter

This was an interesting one! I drew a complete blank until this morning when this caught my eye:

Any ideas? Parched ground during a drought? A close-up of my dry skin? Dried cookie dough?

Click –>here<– to see what it is.

Updated: I am sorry the link isn’t working!! My settings are for public viewing. I tested it and it worked fine for me, but when I tried it in Internet Explorer it came back “Private.” Grr!!

Anyway, here it is:

This goes along with the theme, too: it’s hard to tell what a finished project will look like while it is in progress, perhaps making onlookers wonder what it is:

But the details and finishing touches bring it into focus.

It reminds me of that saying, “Be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet.” We are all works-in-progress.

Visit TN Chick for more Photo Hunters.

Pensieve is hosting a BlogHop — kind of a meet-and-greet event for bloggers. More details are here: the sign-up list is here where you can add your link and peruse others. I just discovered it last night, but I think it’s ok if the party extends through the weekend.

She suggests we include a brief intro, and perhaps links to our favorite posts and maybe even a few recipes (you can’t have a party without food, right?)

So…Hello, my name is Barbara. I usually sign myself as Barbara H. to distinguish myself from other Barbara bloggers. I am a SAHM of three boys, ages 23, 20, and 14, and I have been married to a wonderful man named Jim for 28 years. My blog is about…my stray thoughts. It’s a mixture of the serious and funny, the spiritual and the homey, everyday happenings and heavenly contemplations. Some of my passions are to encourage us to spend more quality time in the Word of God, to draw closer to Him in everyday life, to see Him for Who He is, and to encourage women in whatever walk of life to be their best for Him and to lean on Him for grace and strength.

Some of my favorite posts are listed in my sidebar. I am not a great cook, but some of my favorite recipes are listed here. Chicken Enchilada Bake is a family favorite, as are Pudding Chip Cookies.

Thanks for stopping by — you’re welcome any time!

I was only vaguely aware of the title of The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas until…I saw the Wishbone version on PBS years ago. (Don’t laugh — I benefited from a lot of culture on children’s programming. ) But that put the intriguing story on my mental list of books I wanted to read some day. I have been working my way through some of the classics over the last few years and have just finished reading the Count.

In the past I had read The Three Musketeers and The Man In the Iron Mask by Dumas, and I have to say I was disappointed in them, in the darkness of the latter especially. The ending differs from any film version of it I have seen. So I approached the Count with a little bit of trepidation, but it is my favorite of these three Dumas books.

Originally published in the 1840s, the story is that of Edmund Dantes, a young sailor on the verge of being promoted to captain of his ship and of marrying his longtime sweetheart. Mercedes, in France during the era just before Napoleon’s Hundred Days. Edmund has enemies he is not wary enough of, a jealous shipmate and another who loves Mercedes, and these two plot together to implicate him as a Bonapartist traitor. The main piece of evidence comes into the hands of one prosecutor who could potentially be harmed by its contents, so to protect himself he destroys the evidence and lets Edmund go to prison.

Edmund, of course, despairs, tries to see the governor of the prison to plead his cause, and is rewarded with bring thrown further into the dungeon. He decides to starve himself until he hears the faint sounds of digging, and the possibility of interacting with another human being other than his jailer revives his desire to live. He and the other prisoner, Abbe Faria, do make contact, and the Abbe becomes something of a mentor to Edmund, teaching him all he knows both of education and society. Thus his fourteen years in prison actually serve to make him the man he later becomes.

When the Abbe dies, Edmund sees his chance to escape by placing the Abbe’s body in his cell and hiding himself in the Abbe’s burial shroud. The Abbe had told him of and bequeathed to him a treasure buried on the island of Monte Cristo, which Edmund finds and the uses to perfect his new persona as the Count of Monte Cristo. He then sets himself to reward those who were loyal to him and stood by him and to exact vengeance on the three men who were instrumental in imprisoning him.

The story is quite intriguing as the reader understands the Count’s ultimate purpose but wonders exactly what he is up to as events unfold. Some characters who appear at first to be a distraction to the main plot are found actually to be integral to it. Though at first his designs fall into place perfectly, the Count eventually finds many unintended consequences of his actions and has to wrestle with his conscience before God to determine the best way to ultimately do the right thing by the various people affected by his actions.

Wikipedia describes this as an adventure novel, and it certainly is that, but it is full of intrigue as well. Those I would not call it a Christian book, there are many Christian principles throughout. Modern readers would find it a bit melodramatic in places — at least six times various people threaten to kill themselves due to shame or loss. I don’t know if that was a popular mode of dealing with problems at the time or popular literary plot device. Though it does drag a bit in places overall the book is very well crafted.

The 1998 Tom Doherty associates version that I read says that it is complete and unabridged, which is what I wanted, but I was disappointed to find that it was not complete: in reading over the Wikipedia summary, I found several strands on the plot that were not in this book. Some of the situations now make more sense to me. I wouldn’t look at the Wikipedia listing, though, until after you have read the book as it does detail most of the plot and you’ll lose the fun of discovery if you read it.

I’ve seen reference to several film versions, and if you have read the book and seen any of the films I’d love to know which film version you think is best.

Kelli at There’s No Place Like Home hosts “Show and Tell Friday†asking “Do you have a something special to share with us? It could be a trinket from grade school, a piece of jewelry, an antique find. Your show and tell can be old or new. Use your imagination and dig through those old boxes in your closet if you have to! Feel free to share pictures and if there’s a story behind your special something, that’s even better! If you would like to join in, all you have to do is post your “Show and Tell†on your blog, copy the post link, come over here and add it to Mr. Linky. Guidelines are here.

As many of you know, my mother-in-law just moved here to SC from ID and now lives in an assisted living facility just a few minutes from us. Since Mom was limited in how much could be carried on the plane, my sister-in-law has been sending us a few boxes at a time of Mom’s things.

One of the first boxes to arrive contained one of my all-time favorite pictures of my father-in-law, the flag from his funeral, and his VFW hat with several pins. My husband and youngest son put them together in my mother-in-law’s room like this:

I thought that made such a nice little vignette and added a touch of home to her room. It was her idea to put the cap on the picture frame like that — a nice touch!

Here are a few close-ups of some of the items:

I don’t know who put the medals in the case with the flag, but I thought it was a good idea.

Also in the package, among other things, was this little cross-stitched piece I did for Jim’s mom several years ago:

And this is my work-in-progress for her room, almost done. All that is left is a little border.

I wanted to persevere and finish it tonight, but it was after 11 p.m. when I got to this stage and I felt I’d better lay it aside — when I work on things like this too late I tend to make more mistakes. Yellow is her favorite color. I am thinking of making one for myself in shades of pink. It’s small — maybe 4 x 5 inches — so I thought I’d have it whipped up in a week or so, but it’s talking longer. The shape is a little warped from being stretched in the hoop. but it will straighten out when it is washed and pressed.

You can go to Kelli’s to see more Show and Tell partcipants.

When I made up my book meme a couple of weeks ago, one of the questions I asked concerned book we may have read to our children. I found so many others books that I had forgotten about mentioned in other people’s answers that I decided to focus a Thursday Thirteen on books I enjoyed reading to my children.

1. The Little Engine That Could.

2. Gus the Bus. This appears to be out of print not, but it’s one my kids loved reading over and over even after we had to tape it together. It’s about a dutiful school bus whose tires one day get too much air in them, which sends him through meadows chasing horses and such while all the kids are in school. When the bus driver finally finds him, discovers the problem, and brings him back, He goes back to his routine, but with a little smile and a daisy stuck next to his mirror.

3. Jesse Bear, What Will You Wear? by Nancy White Carlstrom as well as others in the Jesse Bear series. Sweet stories, lovely art work.

4. Dr. Seuss, especially, of course, the perennial favorites The Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham.

5. Blueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskey.

6. Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey.

7. Keep the Lights Burning, Abbie by Peter Roop. This was one of my favorites, about a girl who has to keep the lighthouse lamps burning when her father is delayed from getting back home due to a storm.

8. P. D. Eastman. books, especially Go, Dog, Go, and Are You My Mother?

9. The Puppy Who Wanted a Boy by Jane Thayer.

10. Golden Books, especially The Poky Little Puppy, The Little Red Caboose, Scuffy the Tugboat.

11. Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel by Virginia Lee Burton.

12. Arch books, but I was choosy with those. I don’t like Bible story books that are flippant or where the characters are drawn in a cartoonish way. I wanted my children to respect those stories and to differentiate between them and other stories.

13. The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes by Kenneth N. Taylor or one like this.

We read multitudes of books when they were younger, but these are the standout favorites that come to mind. As they got older they liked Encyclopedia Brown by Donald J. Sobol and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett and Ron Barrett and others.

I can’t wait to read some of these to my grandkids some day!

You can visit other Thursday Thirteeners here.

(Graphic Courtesy of Grandma’s Graphics.)

Does anyone know why they put the periods where they do?

I heard of del.icio.us a long time ago but wasn’t interested at first in discovering what it was. When you first start computing or blogging, there is a lot to take in! But after seeing how other people use it and seeing references to it or links to it on other people’s blogs, I can see it’s value. One value for me personally is that I can take my long list of particular blog posts which I have bookmarked under that creative title and tag them easily into categories. It’s actually a lot quicker and easier than bookmarking.

There is a great You Tube video explaining it in plain simple English here.

So I finally started my own del.icio.us here. I will probably put a link to it in my sidebar at some point.

I am in the process of adding all my old bookmarked pages a little at a time. Two new ones added today are:

20 Tips to Save Money on Gas

and

13 Ways to Maintain Your Brain (I need all the help I can get.)

Also, though I don’t have this on del.icio.us, I wanted to mention a site I discovered at a link at Lizzie’s, the Homeschool Freebie of the Day site. I don’t think you have to be a homeschooler to participate. They have resources that would be of interest to many people. Today, for instance, is a free download of Homestead Simplicity: A Primer, which has a lot of great tips and recipes for homemade household items. Each free download is only available for one day, though. You can sign up there for a weekly e-mail letting you know what will be coming up in the week ahead. It’s a great resource.

Miss Sandy at Quill Cottage graciously gave me the Arte y pico award.

You might be saying, “….Huh?”

The creator of the award at at http://arteypico.blogspot.com/ says:

Miss Sandy said of me: “Now I know this award is supposed to be about art, and Barbara does make art but that is not what her blog is about, it is about heart. Barbara has a pretty heart that loves the Lord, her family, and others. I have only recently “met” her and want to thank her for decorating my life with her presence.”

Wow! I am so honored. Thank you so much for those kind words. I am not an artist, but I do love and appreciate artistry and creativity.

The rules are as follows:

1) Select 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award, creativity, design, interesting material, and also contributes to the blogger community, no matter what language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award-winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) The award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show a link of “Arte y pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of the award.

The five bloggers I would like to pass this along to are:

1. Gretchen at Lifenut for her artistry with words. Take this hilarious story of her son’s birth as one example, this touching post about playing hurt, or this one titled, “Leave.”

2. Writer2b at Findings for the same reason. I discovered her through Semicolon’s weekly Saturday Review of Books, and so enjoyed her style of writing that I soon subscribed to her blog.

3. Dawn at 4:53 am. Her creativity shines through her beauitful photography and craft work.

4. Anita at My Country Cottage Garden. I think I first met her through Kelli’s Show and Tell Fridays. She has a gorgeous garden and does beautiful projects for her home. It was through her that I found one of my favorite new books, Sew Pretty Homsestyle by Tone Finnanger. (I still haven’t made a project from it, Anita, but I feast my eyes just looking at it. I do hope to make some things from it “some day,” though!)

5. Kelli at There’s No Place Like Home and Seasonal Delights magazine. Her creativity and artistry is expressed all throughout her home. I enjoy looking at and being inspired by the beautiful yet simple touches that make her home lovely, welcoming, and homey.

Finally, I saw this road trip test at Gram’s, Melli’s, and Alice’s. I was going to take it at first because road trips are not my favorite things. But it was fun and pretty accurate except the last line.

…I urge you to get the very best hearing aids within your means.

If someone is totally or partially deaf, of course, loved ones will need to learn sign language or whatever else is needed to communicate. If everything has been done that can be done, then others will need to work to around the hearing loss as best they can.

I have known some women to get teary and sensitive at the thought of having some hearing deficiencies. I don’t know if it is due to dismay at the reality of a body that is beginning to lose its functions or if they sense a bit of a stigma associated with hearing aids, or what.

But when you obviously can’t hear well and you don’t want to investigate hearing aids, it makes your family feel that you don’t care to hear them.

It’s not enough to just ask people to speak up. If you think you would feel conspicuous with a hearing aid, think how much more conspicuous it is to have people practically shouting in order for you to hear them, or to give an answer that makes it obvious that you didn’t hear what was said.

Also, sometimes people with hearing problems cut themselves off from opportunities or social interaction because of difficulty hearing. Why do so when their are solutions at hand?

No, this post isn’t about my mother-in-law. She has worn a hearing aid for decades and has accepted that she needs one. She does tend to get to a comfortable status quo, though, and doesn’t want to change anything, even if it would mean improvement in hearing and in comfort. She also doesn’t like to spend money. True, hearing aids aren’t cheap, but they are a worthy investment.

No, this post is more general, in response to people I have known or accounts I have read. If someone is suggesting that you might want to check into hearing aids, or into getting new ones, you’ve probably already been missing out on conversations and interactions without realizing it. Take the suggestion and look at it not as a reason for sorrow or shame, but rather as an opportunity to improve your quality of life and theirs. Your loved ones want to communicate with you. And they want you to want to communicate with them.

Mother’s Little Angel

by Norman Rockwell

Courtesy of imagekind

I inadvertently began a nightly ritual when my firstborn son was a baby which has continued with some changes to this day. Before going to bed for the night, I would check on him to make sure everything was all right, watch the rise and fall of his chest for a few moments, perhaps even lay a hand on his back or chest to reassure myself he was breathing and he was all right. I expanded my rounds with each new child. As they grew, I would smile at their tousled hair and and relaxed sprawl and pull the covers back up to their shoulders.

Some time during the teen years they began closing their bedroom doors at night, but there was still a settled feeling knowing everyone was home, safely tucked in for the night. When they became active in their youth group or started working outside the home, I don’t think I ever went to bed before they came home. I may have fallen asleep on the couch, but I couldn’t rest easily until I heard them come in.

But the days came and then multiplied when they didn’t come home for the night, and passing by their empty bedrooms caused a bit of a pang to the heart. First sleepovers for a night, then camp for a week, then mission trips with the youth group for several days more, then working away from home for a whole summer, then going to college for a whole semester. The day will come when they will have their own homes, and these beds will remain empty except for brief visits. I’ll no longer be able to check on them at night or to know that they are safely tucked in, or to go to bed with that settled feeling that all is well for another night.

But I can entrust them to the One who never sleeps, who watched over the wandering Jacob when he left his home and guided him on his way. They will be beyond my sight and care, but never His. His power to keep both body and soul has always been beyond mine, but whereas for over two decades I have been able to watch over them and see that they are fine, soon I will have to walk by faith and not by sight in this aspect of life as well as all others.

And so my nightly ritual will change. Instead of going room by room in my house until I am settled in my own, I can pray for each child in my heart, trusting Him to keep a watchful, loving eye on us all.