Balance My Chaos

I have been running myself into the ground this past week. But I'm not complaining. Every year we spend a certain amount of money on a family in the area who needs it desperately. I had been buying and wrapping these presents and then delivering them to the drop off point.

When I saw the "giving tree" at my daughter's preschool this year I couldn't stop crying. I pulled many items off that tree. How sad is it when a family asks for a rolling pin or some bath towels because they cannot afford them. There was a grandfather asking for shoes and a grandmother asking for kitchen towels. They also asked for shoes for the 2 1/2 yr old granddaughter that they care for.

The possession of these items and many more are just things that I take for granted everyday. I am so blessed to be able to say, "I need such and such" and then have the means to go out and buy that item. Some days I think my life stinks and then I come back to thoughts of the "giving tree." It could be me asking for these things but it's not.

I remember one Christmas when I was younger when my family didn't have a dime to spend on Christmas. We got a small amount of money from our grandparents. It was a sad situation but we accepted it. When you don't have extra money for anything in life you learn to accept it because there is no other choice.

Some of the most impoverished times in my childhood were the most blessed times. There were days when my parents didn't know where dinner was coming from that evening, but somehow it was always there. Someone would just happen by with left-overs from some church function or something like that.

It's things like this that I will never forget. I will never forget where I came from and for that, I will give of myself during every Christmas season as much as I can afford and even more so than that.

Oh my dearest blog. I have been remiss in my responsibility toward your up keep. I miss you so much. I have substituted good writing with forwarded emails and silly blog quizzes. I hope you understand. Don't worry. I haven't forgotten about you and I will be back after the chaos of Christmas shopping is over and before I start the next semester of college. All will be well again in the future. Until then........

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she removed all of the desks out of her classroom. When the first period kids entered the room they discovered that there were no desks.Looking around, confused, they asked,"Ms. Cothren, where're our desks?"

She replied, "You can't have a desk until you tell me what you have done to earn the right to sit at a desk."

They thought, "Well, maybe it's our grades."

"No," she said.

"Maybe it's our behavior." She told them, "No, it's not even your behavior.

And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third period. Still no desks in the classroom. By early afternoon television news crews had started gathering in Ms. Cothren's classroom to report about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of her room. The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found seats on the floor of the deskless classroom.

Martha Cothren said, "Throughout the day no one has been able to tell me just what he/she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell you." At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it. Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. The Vets began placing the school desks in rows, and then they would walk over and stand alongside the wall. By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place those kids started to understand, perhaps for the first time in their lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned.

Martha said, "You didn't earn the right to sit at these desks. These heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. Now, it's up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price so that you could have the freedom to get an education. Don't ever forget it."

By the way, this is a true story.... If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you read it in English, thank a soldier. Yes, it really is a true story...

http://www.snopes.com/glurge/nodesks.asp

I thought this was cute since my three yr old tells me everyday that I am her superhero. I know it won't last forever, but I will cherish it for as long as it lasts!

I'm tired. Very, very tired. I have a migraine and so much writing to do for school. It's going to have to wait another day. I was up until 3 am last night writing a paper. It's not due until Sunday but I wanted to get it done because I have an Algebra exam on Sunday. I will be so glad when I am done with all these writing intensive classes and can concentrate on my science and math.

Monica is doing well in her studies. We are concentrating on social studies this week because next week is her 5th grade social studies standardized test. She tests well and doesn't mind going into the public school for the tests. It saves me the hassle at the end of the year and I get bragging rights when she scores in the highest level. Nope, I don't mind at all.

Lucianna's second blood tests have revealed that her lead levels are coming down and her iron levels are going back up. Whew! That is a relief. This has been a very scary time for us. In the middle of this we have to change pediatricians. I just found out yesterday that our insurance company won't pay a penny of her doctor bills if I continue taking the children there because the doctor is not on the network. I won't even get started on the whole story but I will tell you that they are making an exception for the bills up til now. They admit that the way the doctors are listed on the website is somewhat confusing and they can see why I would think that he was in our plan's network. Oh give me a break.

It has been a year long journey, well not really because I wasn't entirely diligent in my search, but we found a new church for the family. It's right in town and has a great children's program.

My daughter Monica hasn't been this excited about going to church in a LONG time. She has met other girls her age who are also homeschooled. They have invited her to be on the junior Bible Quizzing Team and she has already attended her first youth group meeting.

Alexandra loved it and already has a part in the Christmas pageant as a donkey. Awwww! It will be adorable.

I found myself in a wonderful mixed adult Sunday school class on discipleship. I was so happy to be accepted into a group that reminded me so much of a group I once led in Sunday school back in 2002 (we reluctantly moved from that area so I had to leave that church). I was absolutely floored when the leader of the group handed me the set of study books at the end of class. He told me that they were mine to keep. I looked these books up online and they cost almost $40.00. Wow! I will put the money into offering next week even though I wasn't asked to do so. I expected them to ask for money for the books. I was going to buy them regardless. This group showed me exactly what I wanted to see in a "home church" on my first visit!

Oh, I am so happy. I'm pretty sure God has led me to the church that I can be actively involved in, learn from and call Home!

Here are a few free educational websites that have balanced my homeschool chaos.

Sheppard Software -- fantastic learning games
Core Knowledge -- Check out the lesson plans and study guides
Language Arts -- Games
Math Games
Virtual Math Manipulatives for preK through 12th grade
Social Studies for Kids
American History with Lesson Plans
More American History
Even More American History
E-Learning for Kids -- All Subjects
KidsSpell

Okay so I haven't posted for a while. Not a legitimate post about me anyway. Life is chaotic. What else can I say? I am a full time college student. I'm a stay at home mom to three girls. I homeschool my oldest and soon to be our middle daughter as well if things don't start going better at preschool. My husband is out of town every other week on business. I guess I am a single mom 50% of the time too.

With all that said and done I have to say I feel more balanced than I have in a while. I love school. I love learning. I love being able to do something substantial for myself for once. I love all the other things too but college balances it all out for me.

So far this semester, I have all A's. It's really exciting. I want to do the best I can do. It's funny how age can do that to a person. My first time around in college I thought I cared about my grades but I really didn't. Had I cared about my grades I would have put my social/party life on hold. I would have taken it all more seriously.

Homeschooling is going great too. Monica is excelling in all subjects. She told me the other day that she loves chemistry and thinks that she would like to pursue the career of a pharmacist. That makes me very happy. I know that it can change in the future but at least for now I have a direction in which to guide my daughter. We went to the library today and checked out some books for kids on basic chemistry.

Alexandra is not liking preschool as much as she did last year. I haven't pinpointed the exact problem but I will bring her home to homeschool too if I have to. Hopefully, we can get to the root of the problem before it comes to that.

Lucianna is my little ball of trouble. Now we know for a fact that she is allergic to all dairy and eggs. That means that the goat milk I've been giving her is an allergy too. The reaction wasn't as bad. Well I took her off the goat milk. She hated soymilk but loved hempmilk. So now we pay over $30 a week on milk but it's worth it to have a healthy baby again. She is so full of energy now. The hempmilk is full of vitamins, minerals and omega 3 fatty acids too. It's really healthy. Hopefully that will aid with the anemia.

Cute story! The other day it was thundering in the distance and Alex was outside without shoes on. I told her to get inside and hurry. She asked why. I told her because she was outside in her bare feet. She said, "MOOOOMMMMMMM, I have kid feet not bear feet!"

ROFLMAO!

So yesterday I was getting out of the car and I saw a huge green bug fly up onto the outside wall of the house. I assumed it was a grasshopper and went over to investigate because it was not flying or jumping away. Lo and behold, it was not a grasshopper, it was a praying mantis. I got the girls outside and we had a mini lesson in nature. I was probably about 8 or 9 years old the last time I saw a praying mantis. I wasn't able to get the camera. Yes I'm mad about that.

Today we went to the apple orchard on a field trip. They have a bee hive there and the children were looking at it (They have one of those plexiglass hives that come into the building so you can see the bees in the hive). There were tons of bees everywhere when we went to pick apples. Come to find out the queen at the resident hive had decided that her colony had grown too big. When this happens she designates one of the larva to be a queen. She picks drones and workers to go with the new queen. They swarm until they are able to build a new hive. The orchard worker who gave us the tour told us this golden nugget of information and showed us the end result. Here's a picture. I was less than 15 feet away from this. I would have loved to have gotten closer but bees scare me. The dark brown spot on the ground is the swarm of bees.

Woo Hoo! My grades for my first two writing assignments were the maximum amount of points available! A+! Go me! Yippee! Can you hear me jumping up and down? I guess I will add that I got an A on my first two quizzes in Biology! Yeah!

Yes, you read it right. Algebra and fun in the same sentence. I'm actually enjoying the Intermediate Algebra class that I feared the most. I haven't taken an algebra class in 21 years yet I'm doing pretty good. I did brush up a little on my own over the summer and that helped quite a bit, so much that I passed the placement test to get into the second level class rather than starting all over in the beginning, non-credit course. Regardless of how long it's been though, I think I'm doing pretty good.

I love all my classes. I think that this thirst for knowledge has gone on unattended for way too long. Going back to school is just what I needed in my life.

I'm taking the required Health class in my first semester back to college. My assignment this week in that class was to go to an open Alcoholics Anonymous meeting as an observer and write about my observations and thoughts on the meeting and it's structure. I really didn't want to do it. I was going to try to get out of the assignment because I was so uncomfortable about it. As uncomfortable as I was, I'm really glad I went. It was an enlightening experience. I thought it was worth posting so here is the paper I wrote:

I have never been in a room with so many desperate people. There were people desperate to stay sober because they have just begun their path to sobriety. There were people who were desperate to keep the life that they are living because AA meetings have shown them that life is worth living and they are just starting to feel that they are worthy of that new life. There were also people that have been sober for a very long time (25 years) and still attending meetings. They seemed desperate to lead others to this life that they say is so much more today than it was yesterday.

There were people young and old, male and female and black and white in the room. They were students, business people, retired people and blue collar workers with one thing in common -- addiction to a substance. Most were alcoholics, some were addicts and some even introduced themselves as an alcoholic and an addict.

I was welcomed as an observer. They did ask me to introduce myself as an observer in case anyone had issue with a nonalcoholic being in the meeting. I was also asked to read a card which had the tradition stating anonymity on it. I did promise the group that I would abide by that when writing this paper. The “Serenity Prayer” was prayed. The 12 steps were read. The 12 traditions were read. There was a reading from “the Big Book” as they called it. It was a hardcover book that said Alcoholics Anonymous on it. Each meeting has a “topic” and then the floor is opened for everyone to speak. Each person who speaks starts by saying “My name is -------- and I’m an alcoholic. Everyone else then says “Hi ---------.” I heard stories that were heart wrenching. They were stories of drinking themselves into comas, the pain that they put family members through, the pain that they caused themselves, everything that was lost due to drinking and the long lasting effects, physical and emotional, of the disease on their lives. At the end of the meeting everyone stands in a circle and holds hands to say the Lord’s Prayer.

Everyone leaves with hope and renewed faith that they can get through the next 24 hours without taking a drink or doing their drug of choice. They know and understand that everyone in that room faces the same demons that they do every single day. I heard several people say “I come here and know that I’m not alone.” One person said, “I’m 21 yrs old. I have a rap sheet 4 pages long. When I come here, I can leave that at the door because I’m just like everyone else when I come into this room.”

Alcoholics Anonymous is a non-judgmental program for an alcoholic. It’s not a healing drug or a bandage to cover the pain. It is a program to get to the root of the problem. It helps people recognize who they are and what they have done and how to overcome that. At the beginning of the meeting the leader asks, “Is there anyone coming back today?” I did not understand this question until some one explained it to me at the end of the meeting. It is asking “Did anyone go out drinking last night and come back to the meeting today?” If anyone raises their hand they stick to steps 1 - 3 for that meeting. Why? Because bringing that person back is worth it. They are worth it.

I asked the woman who had told me she just received her 2 year chip if she could have done it with out the AA program. She said not a chance. She tried. It did not work.

"It appears we have appointed our worst generals to command forces, and our most gifted and brilliant to edit newspapers. In fact, I discovered by reading newspapers that these editor/geniuses plainly saw all my strategic defects from the start, yet failed to inform me until it was too late. Accordingly, I am readily willing to yield my command to these obviously superior intellects, and I will, in turn, do my best for the cause by writing editorials - after the fact."

- Robert E. Lee, 1863

I'm really having a good time in all my classes. I was scared at first. I really didn't know what to expect. I had way too much fun in college the first time around 15 years ago. I had so much fun that I didn't do so well. College is fun now for all the right reasons. I enjoy the discussion. I love learning.

It's amazing how much college has changed over the last 15 years. Wow, I can't believe it's been quite that long, but it has. My laptop and I are one. I'm taking 4 classes on campus and 3 online. It's kind of crazy.

I got a 100% and a 90% on two Biology quizzes so far. I'm excited about that. My first intermediate algebra class went well. It's been over twenty years since I've sat in an algebra class so I was frightened to say the least. I did brush up this summer. I think I've prepared myself well. I start my English 102 course in the middle of October as well as my American History class. The others are required PE and Health courses. I will have all general education requirements done except for one. I will take that class next semester and then I can really concentrate on all my science and math courses.

I meet a lot of young kids in my classes who just aren't taking their education seriously. I see myself (15 years ago) in them. I just want to shake them and scream at them. They have no idea what they are doing to themselves. I didn't. At least now I have the opportunity to fix it!

It was a day that changed my life. We all know what the events were that happened that day. It changed my life forever in many ways. I wish it would have never happened but I am thankful for the positive changes and sad about the negative changes.

I was in a hotel in Kingston, NY (less than 90 minutes away). I was stunned as I watched it happen on TV. We were looking for an apartment because my husband was being transferred. A couple of hours later someone was showing us an apartment as people were walking and running around. They were all talking about going and getting their children out of school and how we were under attack. The pandemonium was scary to say the least.

Things in my life that are changed:

I am a Conservative Republican now rather than a wishy washy Liberal.

I am afraid to fly.

I do profile when I see Muslims, especially since the results to that poll that came out which said that 25% of Muslim males believe that suicide bombing is okay in some instances. What?!!!!

I do think that a terrorist attack on American soil will happen in my lifetime (again). I never thought it was possible before and I'm surprised it hasn't happened again already.

I care about politics and who is elected in office. I can't say that I did before 9/11.

I like Dennis Miller now.

I can't stand most celebrities now. They make me ill with their treasonous remarks and actions.

I don't take things for granted as much as I did before. I am thankful for every day that I have with my family.

So yes, we are back in the rhythm of school again. Monica is doing well in all subjects. The decision to homeschool has proven to be the best decision I think we have ever made concerning Monica. She is excelling so much. She works so far above the level that public school had her that it's a crime. Not only for her but for all students that excel in school.

What a shame that this country's educational system has dumbed everything down in the name of "political correctness" and "discrimination" against children who are special ed. I'M SORRY. I do not agree with integrated classrooms. The day that integrated classrooms happened is the day that teachers could no longer do their job. It's the day that my child started getting a "mediocre at best" education. It's the day that discrimination against MY CHILD began.

What a shame that this is what it has come to in our country. No Child Left Behind is not what it sounds like. It should be called, No Learning Disabled Child Left Behind -- All Those Who Excel, Get Out If You Want A Good Education.

Can anyone tell me why my blog loads so slowly now? Of course not, because no one is silly enough to wait the ridiculous time required to view the blog!

I am going to try and work on this. Hopefully I don't ruin it!

Okay, so I finally did it. I'm making the plunge. Last year I tried to go back to school but it was not going to work out. We were in the middle of closing on a house, a major move and my smallest was going from specialist to specialist to try and figure out just what was wrong with her leg. The timing was not right.

This year I got the all of the paperwork in on time, I bought all of my books and now I just wait for classes to start. It feels really strange. I'm so excited to do something for myself. I'm a little frightened but I know that my age, maturity and many years of wisdom LOL will play into my college success. I really want to do well (who doesn't) and be successful in my classes.

I am still homeschooling my oldest daughter, Monica. She is doing so well and she has no desire to go to public school for now. Thank God for that. I don't think she could handle the stress and peer pressure. Maybe she's stronger than I think she is right now but I don't want her to go through the stress of it all anyway. She would be bored out of her mind anyway. She's so far ahead of where the 5th graders are in this district. I just want her to be happy in her education because she's so intelligent. I don't want to waste anymore time with her. We are starting her on some programming languages in addition to her regular studies. She is very excited to have the additional challenge. It's a very exciting time!

Each time I go to that hospital I see at least one child that touches my heart in a way that's really hard to express. I met a young man (approx 9 - 12 yrs of age). He had just had surgery on both legs and had undergone surgery on both arms earlier to fix (as much as possible) deformities (assuming congenital). He was so upbeat. The positive life and energy flowing through this boy touched me like nothing I've ever experienced. He was talking to another boy who "had something in his leg" as his father put it. The young man in the wheelchair told the other boy's father not to worry in his Spanish accent "because the doctors here are miracle workers man."

The boy then wheeled over to me and told me how adorable Lucianna is. I asked him about himself. He had been in the hospital for 5 months undergoing surgeries to fix his body as much as possible. He was going home to Puerto Rico the next day. We talked about how excited he is to be going home.

I wish I would have asked the boy his name. He doesn't know it but he touched my life. No matter what life deals you, the choice is yours to be happy and enjoy life or to be miserable. This child chose to be happy even through all the gauze covering his stitched up legs and his scarred arms from recent surgery which were way to short for his body. I pray that he stays happy and continues to touch peoples lives as he did mine. God has given him a special gift. His love, compassion and encouragement shines like a beacon. I can only pray that he uses his gifts to their full potential. He is definitely on his way to making a lasting mark in this world.

I ended our conversation with Good Luck. I wish I would have said "Shine your light young man. Shine your light for all to see!"

So we had a great time camping this year. It's not quite as relaxing as it was without small children. The books go unread. The knitting project is not knitted. All in all though, we had a great time.

It rained one day all day. Tuesday. It was really funny because we had a brand new Coleman tent. Camp Dry and Seam Sealer were both applied on Saturday. It still leaked. Not a lot mind you, but it leaked around the seam between the walls and the floor. This made my husband mad. A few towels placed in the right spots and all was well. It rained so much and for so long that the rain fly became saturated and it started dripping. This infuriated my husband. He hates to have his bedding get wet while camping.

This wouldn't have been such an issue had Coleman not guaranteed the tent not to leak. That is why we bought that tent. So there we sit in the pouring rain in our somewhat leaky tent. We did have an extra tarp (always have an extra tarp for every camping trip) to put over the tent. That took care of the leaky rain fly. My husband goes to the van, gets the tent bag, looks for the Coleman number and calls on his cell phone. He waited on hold for what seemed like forever (which made him even more mad). When he finally spoke to a person he held the phone up so they could hear the rain and told them the situation (nicely). He ended his nice tirade with "So what is Coleman going to do for me?"

Coleman does stand by their guarantee and is picking up the old tent and sending us a new one. They are sending a different tent. Apparently, the Coleman tent that you get at Walmart is specially made for Walmart. Even though the CSR didn't come out and say it, she eluded to the fact that those tents aren't quite as good as other Coleman tents because they made them to Walmarts specifications and not their own. I don't know if this is true or not but if it is, why put your company's name on the product and why guarantee the product?

We are not the type to complain about every little thing. We probably complain less than a lot of people, but when a company guarantees a product to do something and we pay extra money for it because of that guarantee, we expect 1) the product to do what the guarantee says and 2) the company to stand by that guarantee. It's really the priciple of the matter. Had they not had "guaranteed not to leak" all over the tent and the literature that came with it, we probably would not have complained.