I thought about whining to you some more about the awful moments we had during our travels this past week.  I even started writing the post.  It went something like this:

“Whine whine whine tantrums blah blah blah vomit simper wimper fuss diarrhea waaaahhhmbulance traffic jams, blah blah etc, etc, poor me, whine.”

About halfway through I reflected upon things and thought, hey!  Maybe they don’t want to read that regurgitated poop (puns intended) that I’ve really already mentioned in quite enough detail to please everyone.

So instead?  More answers to your questions - because really, I have yet to break into this homework assignment far enough, and I shall continue hammering at it, You Wonderful People!  This may take some time - I don’t answer questions in a brief manner very well, so I really only have room for a handful in each post before the darn thing is long and unruly.

Feel free to add more questions on to the original questions post, and as I move through, I’ll just continue answering whatever you want to know. I’m happy to do it, as I get to it. (Yay for stupid rhymes!)

Previous Posts Containing Answers:

Today’s Installment:

Kat asked: “How many kids do you want to have?”

Well, when I was a kid, I thought I’d have “several.”  As I grew older, “several” became more like “3.”  I suppose maybe that has something to do with feeling comfortable with what you’re used to, as there were 3 children in my immediate family growing up.

I still felt that way until my recent miscarriage.  During the time directly following that unfortunate event, I had episodes where I was pretty sure I never wanted to have another child.  Instead, I wanted to cling to the idea of getting back the one that had died.  Whatever your ideas about the death of a child may be, it is of no consequence, because what I wanted was that very same child, at that very same time, in that very same flesh. And that, friends, is impossible, so I was coming to the point of stubbornly wanting none if I couldn’t have exactly what I had wanted.

The proverbial sour grape, I guess.  Probably more like the tortured, wounded heart.  I needed more time to grieve.

There’s no amount of “healing” that can happen to make it all better.  Writing helped.  Reading and talking to others helped.  Being there for other people now helps.  I do better on a day to day basis, as far as managing my emotions.

Of course, being pregnant again also helps, even if I’m a nervous ninny a lot of the time.  It gives me something else to worry about and look forward to, so my emotional cup is crowded with other things, and there is less room for the swirling currents of pain and sadness.

I do keep thinking about December 24.  That is the day the baby was due, and it is creeping up on me.  I’m not sure what I will feel on that day.  Today when I thought about it, I cried a little. Perhaps playing Santa will take away some of the pain.

I am just fine now with having 2 children, but I am anticipating the impending stress of having a newborn, a 3 year old, a husband on the road, and several Internet jobs calling for my attention, all at one time.  I’m thinking maybe 2 children will be enough to drive me completely batshit nuts fulfill my life.

LONG ASS ANSWER short?  Two children, kthxbai.

**************

Kerrianne asked: “Heels or flats?”

OH BABY.  Shoes?  We’re talking shoes, here?

I AM A SHOE HOARDER.

I love shoes. Flats, heels, whatever!

Hawt boots rock.

Cute shoes make me happy!

For pity’s sake, I even over-shoe-shop for my kid! He has 6 pair that fit him right now. (Even if he did call them “shits” at one point.)  Yup.  I have a problem. Heh.

**************

Veronica asked: “Are you nervous about the results of the Bloggies?”

Now THAT will show you how dated these questions are.

Yes, I was nervous about the results.  In many ways, I am very laid back.  But I am driven, and if I enter into something, I cannot fail. Must not fail.

So yes, I was nervous.  When I found out I made it to the finals, I was 100% dorkishly happy and stupidly spastic.  Being there with my beloved friend Alli made it that much more golden.

We both lost to that outlandish whore, Jezebel.

Bah!  We are better than Jezebel.  And way, way hotter.  So there.

(Seeing this hot piece win her category made it all better, though.)

**************

Marylin asked, “When are you going to get that monkey you were on about in the Blog365 forums?”

HAHAHAHA!  I told practically EVERYONE that I had a monkey and it would dance for them, or I was going to get a monkey and they should pet him, etc, etc when I was on cocaine (aka participating in Blog365).

But, Marylin, I DO have a monkey.

He’s 2 and his name is Braden.  You may have seen me talk about him?  *snort*

As for the Hippopotamus I also mentioned a lot during NaBloPoMo? No comment. *coughmyownasscoughsneeze*

Is this post too long?  Did you read it all?  Do you give a crap at all anymore?  No?

Good, me either.  More later!

Tags: Baby Number Three, Baby Number Two, Miscarriage, Photo, Pregnancy, You Wonderful People, depression, me, questions // 12 Comments »

You aren’t nearly that lucky!  I will be here, junking up this little corner of the Blogosphere, until they drag me kicking, screaming, and farting either into Le Looney Bin or to the afterlife.

That’s right, I don’t plan on going quietly into that good night.

And if you got that, I kind of love you, you freaky nerd, you.  You’re cute.  Are you single?

And just as an after-thought, IS there Internet Access in the looney bin?  On the real, if there is, I think I kind of would like it.  Just sayin.

So, enough for now.  This is supposed to be a photo post - you know, “Wordless Wednesday.”

So shhhh.  All I can say is that for NOW I’m home again.  More poop and tantrums talk later.

Oh yeah, that photo I mentioned - you know one of the most fun things about visiting your husband’s side of the family?  The embarassing things you are able to collect and taunt him with later.

Tags: Less Words Wednesday, Photo, Wordless Wednesday // 35 Comments »

November 23rd - 29th

Apparently being on the road makes my whole family get infected with Intestinal Evil. Long story short, all the Diarrhea Adventures yesterday culminated in me putting forth exactly NO effort in getting my photos processed or Weekly Winners up.

I’ll try to add them later in the week, but we’re still traveling far and wide in the hopes of reaching home sometime next millennium.

While you’re annoyed with me, you might enjoy the JCPenney Review I posted on my review site… and if that doesn’t tickle your fancy as you look for places to shop this holiday, hit the Good For The Kids Melissa & Doug Toy Giveaway so you can enter for your chance at a free toy gift just in time for Christmas!

Don’t say I never did anything for you. (Just say I did very little. I can live with that. If the Diarrhea Train around here would stop, in fact, I could live with anything.)

I hope your week has been beautiful and filled with wonderful photos! I’m posting the Linky below, so you can show everyone what you captured….

Weekly Winners Information
Weekly Winners Prizes
All My Past WW Posts

PLEASE LEAVE THE DIRECT LINK TO YOUR CURRENT WEEKLY WINNERS POST ON MR. LINKY. PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THE LINK TO YOUR MAIN WEBSITE. I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FIND YOUR POST EASILY WHEN I CLICK HERE LATER IF YOU DON’T DO THIS PROPERLY! Thanks!

Tags: Photo, Weekly Winners, photography // 39 Comments »

Of Lazy Douchery, that is.

I was fully planning on getting posts to You Wonderful People even while we were traveling, but that is not how it has worked out.

Who knew that hours and hours and hours and hours AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS inside a car with a toddler really does just destroy your will to live and make you not care about your website for a few days? Huh!

Who knew that when your husband gets all Road Rage-Arrific multiple times in one day, and you give up any chance of not being shot to death by someone angry on the highway that you aren’t as concerned about typing up a sarcastic post when you get to your destination as you are about falling to the ground and kissing it repeatedly?

And who knew that you should really add extra hours onto your projected travel time just in case mid-trip your little kid decides to pull some Exorcist moves from the back seat and projectile vomit repeatedly?

Man, that is one smell I don’t recommend ANYONE travel with for any extended amount of time.

Tags: Lazy Douche // 25 Comments »

So, why the hell is it that there is ALWAYS more to pack than I think there is going to be ahead of time? Ugh. I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off here. Speaking of that - does anyone else say that? I think I picked it up from my parents… who did actually keep and slaughter chickens for food when I was a kid. Which leads me to remember a time when my dad actually chased me around the yard with a chicken-head on a stick. I was about 4. He thought it was hilarious. I? Was terrified. Just another look into what made me into the fine woman I am today!

On a completely unrelated note, I wanted to rant for a minute about something that seriously peeves me. I HATE IT when people in a parking lot sit in their cars behind someone else who is planning on leaving soon. HATE WITH A PASSION. These asshats feel that their inability to drive around and find a different space - one which they may actually have to WALK A BIT from - is reason enough to make the people leaving feel rushed. Not to mention the people trying to use the damn parking lot aisle to drive somewhere else - oh hell no! If you want to go anywhere on that aisle now, you’re just going to have to queue up behind Mr. or Mrs. ASSHAT and wait until they park their lazy, fat ass in their most desired parking spot.

And I’m sorry if you are one of the people in question here, but, seriously, if you do this, look at your head… you are NO DOUBT wearing your ass for a hat.

And this is not because I don’t like helping people - I used to flag down people in the parking lot when I was about to leave work and had parked in a desirable spot. It’s about the huge sense of entitlement and disgusting laziness I see displayed in the people who do this. The only reason I can think of that excuses this behavior is a need to park close because of some type of physical illness/infirmity/handicap. But, most often, when I see them park and get out they are all perky and youthful, and clearly not handicapped.

Not physically, anyway.

Tags: Mental Issues, me // 41 Comments »

Going to be doing some stuff and thingies this week, in different places and locations. Heh.
So, busy busy busy, go go go, this that and the other = I’ll be Away From Keyboard a LOT.

To keep all of You Wonderful People entertained and amused, I’ll be slinking a little away from Lazy Douchedom again this week by FINALLY answering more of the questions you asked forever ago!

Then, later, I’ll also be asking YOU some questions. So get ready, my pretties.

Previous Posts Containing Answers:
Answers to “food-based” questions
Second installment of answers

Today’s Installment:

Dawn asked: “If you could snap your fingers and change one part of your body, what would it be?”

Well, if you had asked me that as a child, my IMMEDIATE response would have been,”My ears.”  I got made fun of A LOT for my ears.

Being called “Dumbo” was not unheard of.

Bastards.

A year ago, I’d have asked for someone to zap my Muffin-op away.

But bah.  I’m pregnant now, so the Muffin-Top is just providing the rounded-out icing on top of my bulbous cake of a belly.  Yay and shi.

What I’d really like is thinner, smoother thighs.  The junk in my trunk I can handle, but I HATES DEM OLE JELLY LEGS.

******

Kat asked: “What do you want to be when you grow up (you know, figuratively speaking, who wants to grow up anyway!)”

When I was a little kid (yes, I’m going to start off that way again) I wanted to be an astronaut.  AND a ballerina.  Yes, at the same time.  And, uh, I TOTALLY could have done either or both, but I changed my mind.  So there.

Years ago, I thought I wanted to be a research psychologist and professor.  I burned out on that idea in Grad School.  Oh, Grad School, how I look back at you with much fear and loathing.

Nowadays, I’m focusing more on how I can make today and tomorrow better for my family and myself, and less on “when I’m all grown up.”  And busy learning that might be the best thing for me mentally.  And maybe partly because of my tendency to be in denial about my aging in the first place.

******

Katie Ann asked: “What made you choose a chihuahua?”

Honestly?  I HAVE NO IDEA.  I have always thought Chihuahuas are HORRIBLE little pests of dogs!  That they are annoying and really begging to be kicked across the room at any given moment.

And you know what?  I WAS RIGHT.

Heh.  Okay, the little jerk IS cute.  And sometimes he doesn’t suck.

******

Veronica asked: “When are you going to fly over and visit me?”

Tomorrow, Honey.  Better get your ass to the airport and pick me up. With chocolates in hand.

I WISH!  *muah*

******

Marylin asked: “Hmm, where and what would you do in your dream holiday?”

Anywhere I can Sleep.  Sleep.  Sleeeeep.  SleeeeeEEEP.  SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

And have wine.  Chocolate.  Cheese.

Then more sleep.

See?  I’m easy.

******

That’s it for today!  Stay tuned for more… and be ready to answer my questions, too.

Tags: Lazy Douche, Photo, You Wonderful People, me, questions // 13 Comments »

November 16th - 22nd

All Photographs
Captured with
Canon Powershot G9

“Whale,” by Braden

Nibble, Nibble

An Icy Grave

Alone In The Cold

Surviving, Barely

Hope In The Face Of Certain Death

Weekly Winners Information
Weekly Winners Prizes
All My Past WW Posts

PLEASE LEAVE THE DIRECT LINK TO YOUR CURRENT WEEKLY WINNERS POST ON MR. LINKY. PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THE LINK TO YOUR MAIN WEBSITE. I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FIND YOUR POST EASILY WHEN I CLICK HERE LATER IF YOU DON’T DO THIS PROPERLY! Thanks!

Tags: Photo, Weekly Winners, photography // 57 Comments »

Today’s Photohunt Theme is “Reflection”

“The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face.”
-William M. Thackeray

Tags: Photo, PhotoHunt, photography // 22 Comments »

As the holidays
approach, Mommy has an itch…
Nagging. Burning. Want.

Cute new shoes now on
Mommy’s feet - ahhh, that’s relief.
All is well again.

Tags: Haiku Fridays, Photo, poetry // 43 Comments »

I went to Walmart on Wednesday night to pick up some grocery items and decided to browse through the toy area to see if there were any inexpensive, small fun-toys that caught my eye for Braden’s Christmas Stocking.  You know, ahem, to tell Santa about.

I saw a toddler cleaning set in a box - toy mop, broom/dustpan, vacuum cleaner.  And I thought about how Braden always wants to play with my vacuum cleaner and broom when I’m using them.  A few steps away, there were similar items sold singly.  So I was standing there looking at a small single broom, just checking it out up close and thinking about if it was worth the purchase, when a mother browsing with her toddler walked by and said, “Why would you buy that when there’s a whole set right over here for only $20!?”

I ignored the first response that nagged to be vocalized, which would have been, “Why the hell are you worried about why I would buy anything vs. anything else, since I don’t know you, crazy Toy Bargain Lady?”

And then I skipped over the other immediate response my warped mind wanted to torture her with, “Those are cheap plastic and would surely not stand up to the many beatings I’m planning on doling out with this here baby.” (brandishing the superior toy broom with gleam in eye)

Instead, I laughed, walked over to the box, picked it up and told her, “See, the major flaw here is that the vacuum cleaner doesn’t actually work.  And I’m not interested in just training my kid - I want to put him to work.  He’s been free-loading for far too long now, know what I mean?”

I looked up with a wild smile on my face, giggling.  Totally expecting her to LAUGH.

And she looked back at me with the most concerned, “WTF?” look on her face, did that fake, “heh-heh-heh” laugh and said, “Ohhhkay.”

And this, my dear friends, is why I write here.

So that I can FIND PEOPLE WHO GET MY JOKES, DAMNIT.

Tags: I Amuse Myself, Photo, Stories About People, me // 93 Comments »